Title: The Sheik Authors: Loganlover; Tam; Sasscat Bu-to-y; & Lokemele Rating: R for "Racy" Category: Humor & Slash, Darien/Bobby
Feedback: Yep, yes, please *begging here* Post here or email to: SlashTheInvisibleMan@yahoogroups.com
This spontaneous fic-ette arose from a series of back-and-forth bantering that took place over the course of more than two weeks on the SlashTheInvisibleMan board at Yahoo. The fic is primarily a dialogue piece. Each author contributed no more than 3 lines before the next author responded with lines of his/her own. We were inspired by watching The Mummy Returns and by the Sheik challenge offered by PEJA. In the spirit of this fic, the part of Valentino will be played by Bobby. The muses were just out for a lark. ***************
The Original Post that Started it All:
Sheik challenge
HI ALL:
I've got to get someone else to do this challenge so I'm posting it here as something to consider.
Is anyone here familiar with the EM Hull book (1941) The Sheik? Valentino starred in the movie...anyway, its about a woman who goes into the desert and is abducted by a sheik. first romance I ever read...and read....and read... anyway, I'm requesting someone do a story with that same theme. And I very much do not care which fandom it comes from...
I've gotten the story on the brain, snip ...Oh, never mind...
Anyone willing to take up the challenge....Want to discuss the possibilities...Think the delightful Arnaud as the SHEIK and Darien as his harem-boy…or Bobby...or, well maybe not Eberts...on the other hand…
-PEJA
**************
The Second Post:
Awesome Idea Peja!!! We were discussing (okay...drooling over) folks from The Mummy Returns. All those swarthy Semitic types (like PBV) sigh.... And on the way home from work they were playing Manic Monday on the radio. It has this lovely opening line that's so on-topic here, and would work as an intro to a fic from Darien's pov:
// Its six o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream. I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream. //
Of course in my version the role of Valentino is played by Bobby. (hehehe).
-Logan
And that's how this all started.
*********
THE SHEIK
// Its six o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream. I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream. //
"Hey, Bobby, nice dress!"
"It's called a BURNOOSE, nimrod."
"Oh, and here I thought you were finally getting in touch with your feminine side...."
"Actually, O' Chosen One, I was planning on getting in touch with *your* feminine side."
"You just planning on sweeping me off my feet? Where's the tent? The silk pillows, the wine. I'll have you know I am *not* a cheap date."
"Grrrrrowl"
"What will we be using as lube, Habib? And if you say 'camel fat,' you lose a testicle."
"Damn -- gonna need a LOT a' wine...."
"So what goes with mousaka and baklava, red or white?"
"Baklava is Greek, O' Culturally Deprived One. We're doing middle- eastern here."
"Hey you eat what you like, I'll eat what I like."
"You like ME, don't you?" *waggles eyebrows*
"Come to me, O' Hairless One...make me wail like a Berber woman!"
*flops onto couch next to Darien* "So...how many Berber women *do* you know?"
"If I were you, I'd worry about my experiences with Berber *men* O' Paranoid One."
"As long as you haven't run into Abdul, I could care less."
"You know an Abdul?"
"Bobby Hobbes knows everybody, my friend."
"Um... Abdul Karim al-Ahmed?" *pause*
"Short, swarthy--"
"Gives incredible blowjobs--"
*stunned silence*
"Well, I *did* teach him everything he knows"
"Is that an offer, gland-boy?"
Bzzzzt
"You wanna get that? Its probably the delivery guy."
"You ordered out?"
"Yeah, just some dinner from Kahil's Middle Eastern Deli"
*goes to the door, opens it a crack and turns to look at Bobby* "Um....Bobby, since when do the delivery boys dress like belly dancers?"
*said belly dancer produces a trank gun from somewhere, gorgeous green eyes glinting wickedly*
*sounds of scuffle; belly dancer winds up handcuffed on the floor, breathing hard, straddled by Darien*
"Now let's see who's under this veil-- Arnaud!"
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for your meddling sidekick."
"Excuse me? Sidekick? Fawkes, say the word and I'll shoot him 'til he's dead."
"Hey, Hobbesy..." *runs his hands over belly dancer's chest*
"How do you feel about threesomes?"
"Not interested. You talked me into fishing off the company pier, but shagging the enemy is *definitely* on my "Things NOT To Do" list. Should I go, or do we lock Arnaud in the closet and deal with him *later*?"
*looks thoughtfully at Arnaud* "Nahh."
*hands over a gun, assumes at-ease stance* "You may fire when ready."
*aiming right between Arnaud's eyes, smiling* "Nighty-night, Swiss Miss..."
*knocks the gun away and scampers for the door*
"Perhaps another time, mm?" *slams door*
"Ah, crap. I can't believe he got away again."
"You want I should cheer you up?"
"Oh yeah... where were we?"
"Well, my friend, I believe I was about to introduce you to the joys of Habib's magic camel oil"
"Camel oil?....as in, one hump or two?"
*winks* "Watch out, they spit"
THE END....or is it?
