Gundarn Wing 2:
The Gundarns Get Spaced.






























Scene opens with flashbacks from the first Gundarn part. Representatives include Grainstone being destroyed, Whiff suffering the same fate, and the Gundarns blasting off to space.

Narrator: In the year After Outpost 200001, the leader of the Outposts was assassinated. Five Gundarns were supposed to be sent to Earth, to tell them that assassinating was wrong, but through some fluke in the system, Toto's activities in space took the form of helpfulness, rather than insulting. So the Outposts decided to accept Toto. With nowhere to go, the Gundarns are forced to insult for a reason to exist, in the random world.

Scene 1: The Death of Mr. Loser

Scene opens with shot of Ketra facing his father, in his home. A sister is standing nearby.

Ketra: I'm so glad to see you again, Father!

Mr. Loser: Me too, Ketra. Even though I disinherited you and cast you off at the beginning of the show. But I'm afraid we lost all of our family fortune due to riots.

Ketra: (looking upset) So I won't be a spoiled little rich boy anymore?

Mr. Loser: Yes, Ketra. You're just going to have to live with it.

Ketra: (looking to the skies) Grainstone, help me now!

Mr. Loser: What?

Ketra: Nothing.

Scene commences with Ketra catching up with his family, including his sisters, which take him twenty minutes to figure out all of their names. Suddenly shot of Ketra talking to a distressed sister.

Sister: I tell you, Ketra! Father is gone! He went a resource disposal block, and is flying away!

Ketra: But the Toto forces stationed on this colony will shoot him down!

Sister: Let's go try to stop him!

Ketra: Yeah!

Scene changes to Ketra and Sister facing a disposal block in a shuttle, with a colony turning all of it's guns toward it.

Ketra: Father, please leave!

Mr. Loser: Ketra, what I'm doing is leaving. Leaving this world, that is (chuckles without humor).

Sister: No!

Ketra: (yelling as suddenly the guns open fire) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

The shuttle falls away as the fire streaks past it, Sister moans.

Ketra: (sounding even more pathetic than when Grainstone was destroyed) Father? Fa-thhheerrrr!

The disposal block explodes, Sister screams and Ketra whines pathetically. The pieces of the disposal block fly past the shuttle.

Ketra: Father, Toto has killed you. Now, I will kill Toto!!!

Ketra's eyes start to pinwheel crazily, he starts foaming at the mouth and giggling crazily.

Scene 2: Deathspatula Destroyed

Scene shows a small capsule orbiting the Earth. Inside, Duel is rocking to some rap.

Duel: Rock on! Woo!

Scene changes to Commander Joe inside the cockpit of a Capricorn.

Joe: Major None, we've located a small capsule in the Earth's megosphere. It is similar to the ones the Gundarns lifted off from Earth in!

None: (on screen) Excellent, Joe! Go take your unit of Capricorn mobile frogs and capture the Gundarn!

Joe: Yes, ma'am!

Scene changes to Duel sitting in Deathspatula's cockpit. Suddenly, a light flashes.

Duel: About time Toto showed up. Time for them to meet the Great Demolisher!

Shot of four Capricorns surrounding the capsule.

Computer: (beep) No sign of (beep) enemy activity.

Joe: Uh, number 4, computers don't talk.

Computer: (beep) Sorry. (beep)

Suddenly a beam shoots through the four Capricorns, swatting and destroying them. A battle becomes initiated with Deathspatula and the mobile frogs. However, because of the enhanced reflexes of the mobile frogs, Duel loses! Gasp!

Duel: (as Deathspatula shuts down) Can't say I wanted to copycat Hero, but.... Tag, you're it! Now go on my journey into DARKNESS!!

Duel slams a button, and Deathspatula explodes. However, Duel goes flying away in a capsule.

Duel: Ha, didn't see that coming, did you, Toto freaks!

Joe: (groans) You're just lucky I'm not a mobile frog, Gundarn pilot.

Scene 3: Vayeighteen and Mercurio

Shot of Trowel standing among some volunteers in Toto uniforms. They are being suited up into Simbas. Commander Joe is there. Soon they all leave the Outpost and join up in space.

Joe: Okay, you amateurs, listen up! Some remote mines will charge you. You need to shoot them. Comprende?

Volunteers: Yes, sir!

The volunteers start shooting at the mines, but miss and fail. Only Trowel shoots them all up easily.

Joe: Huh! Not bad!

None: (over com) I want to see that pilot, Joe! Bring him back to base!

Joe: (suspicious) But, Major...

None: Today I'm Ms. None.

Joe: Sorry. But couldn't he be a Gundarn pilot?

None: Oh, yeah. Well, put him through the Gundarn Test.

Joe: (To Trowel) Volunteer, completely the destroy the following target.

Trowel: Gladly.

Suddenly some asteroids open, and show Deathspatula's head floating in space. Shot of Duel walking through a plaza, staring up at the screen. The screen shows the head floating.

Duel: Hang in there, Deathspatula! Or what's left of ya! Everything's going to be fine.

Scene changes to Trowel facing the head.

Joe: Volunteer, shoot the head!

Trowel: Yes.

Trowel shoots the head, and the head sort of phuts out, rather than explodes.

Duel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Two guys pass Duel by as he screams.

Guy #1: Gee, what's with him?

Guy #2: You don't suppose he's upset with the destruction of that Gundarn?

Guy #1: Naw.

Scene changes to Trowel, the scientists, Joe, None, and some soldiers standing in front of one and a half mobile insulters.

Scientist T: These are the Vayeighteen and the Mercurio. We both worked our tails off to built these things, so you better not destroy them in the next three scenes.

Trowel: That might be difficult.

Scientist Q: (glare) The Vayeighteen as the biggest gun we could dig up, and the Mercurio has a counter-insult field, that protects it from attacks.

None: I've assigned Trowel Bardon here to pilot the Vayeighteen, but I don't really know who'll pilot the....

Suddenly the Vayeighteen starts moving, and aims its Big Gun at the Mercurio.

Scientist F: He's aiming his Big Gun at the Mercurio!

Scientist Q: Activate the counter-insult field!

The Mercurio steps forward, raises it's arms, and activates it's shield. The Vayeighteen fires, but Mercurio is not destroyed. Vayeighteen falls to the ground, and Hero falls out.

Hero: I'm back! And still fighting! You'd think I had quit when I blew up Whiff! (cringes) I still can't believe I did that!

Suddenly Trowel leaps toward him, flips, and nearly lands on his head. He points a gun at Hero.

Hero: Huh? (to camera) I picked some vocabulary up from Relentless!

Trowel: Stick 'em up.

Trowel comes out from behind the burning wreck of Vayeighteen, with Hero, who's arms are raised.

None: I'd say we found our man!

Scene 4: Assault on Barf

Scene opens with the Fortress Barf drifting through space. Lady None is standing in the command center.

Lady None: I'm impressed with the capabilities of this new Fortress Barf. The Massive Gun, the new mobile frogs, it's amazing!

Commander: Toto has functioned very well, with the Outposts' help.

Lady None: (eyes suddenly change color) An enemy is coming!

Commander: (beeping console) Yes!

Shot of Nutcake charging down at the Capricorns surrounding Barf, firing it's Spock cannons.

Wuf: The Fortress Barf is too strong! The weak must not bow before Toto! Let's go NUTTTTTCAKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!

A battle is fought between Wuf and the mobile frog Capricorns. Because of Barf's Massive Gun, Wuf loses, and his extending arm gets shot off.

Wuf: My left arm! Heart attack!

Nutcake stabs itself, and goes running away from the pain, similar to a race horse.

Wuf: I'll be back!

Suddenly a bunch of Capricorns appear out of nowhere and attach cables to Nutcake.

Wuf: Nutcake, you and I are gonna have to get a whole lot stronger!

Computer: (beep) Bring in the Gundarn!

Scene 5: Ketra's Rampage

Scene opens with a happy Outpost prospering near the sun. Simbas fly around happily, and everyone is just having a grand old time. It's enough to make even the mightiest Gundarn pilot vomit.

Commander: (flashing panel) What the- a shuttle is approaching!

Subcommander: Send a squad to check it out.

Some Simbas fly away from the Outpost. Out of the sun comes the new Whiff Zero in hummingbird bird. It starts to transform.

Simba #1: (sounding extremely frightened, more so than a hardened veteran would) IT'S TRANSFORMING!! A GUNDARN! SHOOT 'IM!

Whiff Zero starts to get shot up, but doesn't do anything. Shot of Ketra in a strange helmet at the controls, still slightly foaming.

Ketra: I'm just going to sit here for a while, let them shoot me, and then KILL THEM!!

Whiff Zero suddenly pulls out a Big Gun, and blasts the squad to infinity. Ketra then proceeds to destroy the outpost.

Ketra: And don't you forget it!

Scene changes to Trowel opening a door into a dark room. Inside is Hero, digging a tunnel out of his cell with a homemade shovel. However, he has just realized that he's inside a space station, and can't dig his way out.

Trowel: Hey, Hero! I have a mission for you.

Hero: Hopefully it will be more meaningful than digging out of a space station.

They leave, and walk through the Fortress Barf.

Trowel: A Gundarn has gone on a rampage through the outpost, destroying them! We need to use the Vayeighteen and the Mercurio to stop him!

Hero: A Gundarn! (looks confused) So why are we stopping it?

Trowel: Shhhh! (looks around) You'll blow my cover! We need to stop him because he's destroying outposts, and killing innocent people!

Hero: (grudgingly) Okay...

Scene changes to Hero and Trowel getting into the Vayeighteen and Mercurio, which are then loaded into mobile insulter carriers.

Trowel: We'll try to intercept him at outpost 3.141592654.

Hero: Whatever.

Trowel: You're not very excited about going into a battle!

Hero: I'm not in my Gundarn.

Trowel: Shhh!

Hero: Jeez!

Scene changes to Trowel and Hero in the Vayeighteen and Mercurio. Ketra shows up.

Trowel: Move to engage!

Hero: Right!

Ketra: Don't stop me, you guys! I need to destroy the outposts!

Hero: No!

A battle begins. Trowel doesn't move fast enough, and gets clipped by one of Whiff Zero's gun.

Trowel: Ow!

Ketra: Ha!

Hero: Why you!

Mercurio charges Whiff with insult sword in its shield, and the two start grappling, and fall toward the outpost.

Hero: ERRRRR!!

Ketra: ERRRR!!!

Suddenly the Vayeighteen suddenly goes flying upward, and Trowel starts debating philosophy with Ketra, while Hero tries to kill him. Ketra suddenly turns back to normal.

Ketra: Nooooo!! Trowel!!!!

The Vayeighteen blows up, and Ketra moans. Sudden blackout.

Scene 6: Duel, the Great Demolisher, once Again

Scene opens with Duel lying on a beach towel at the beach, but in full clothing. A girl walks up to him in a Toto uniform.

Girl: Hi!

Duel: Yo!

Girl: I'm Heidi Lions, and I'm from Toto! We're looking for recruits, and I think you're qualified. (hands him a piece of paper).

Duel: (looking at it) Hmmmmm....

Heidi: Well, if you're interested. (walks off).

Duel: (smiling) You bet, I'll be there.

Scene changes to Duel standing in a space port, with a bag. He's holding a bag, and hands his ID to a guy. One of the photos shows him picking his nose.

Guy: Hmmmm... Okay, you're clear.

Duel: Cool! C'ya.

Heidi: (walking up) Hey! You couldn't have gone through training ye-

Duel: I didn't!

Duel punches Heidi, and due to the low gravity, sends her flying across the room. He jumps into a Simba.

Heidi: (unfazed) Hey! Stop him!

Duel blasts off for the Luna base, but Heidi follows him.

Heidi: Die! (shoots Duel's Simba in the leg)
Duel: AAGH!

Duel gets beaten up, and scene changes to him sitting in a chair facing Heidi.

Heidi: Duel Maxwell House, a Gundarn pilot! Not Poindexter Smilles, physicist from Nigeria!

Duel: (smiling at his creativity) Yep!

Heidi: (leaving) I'll have you executed when we get back.

Duel: Great.

Scene changes to Heidi in the cockpit of a space plane with a couple soldiers.

Soldier 1: So he was a Gundarn pilot!

Heidi: (thinking) Yeah...

Soldier 2: It's a good thing he'll soon be dead!

Suddenly a shuddering noise is heard, and Duel is shown flying in a Simba toward the Luna base.

Duel: I've done it! Hello, Luna base.

Suddenly Duel gets shot again, by the Simbas from the Luna base.

Duel: ERGGGGHH!!

Scene changes to Duel eventually meeting up with the scientists.

Duel: Yo, smart alecks!

Q: Hi, Great Demolisher. We're rebuilding your Gundarn. And Wuf's.

Duel: Wuf? That "strong" idiot?

Q: The same. And that's not very kind.

Duel: Whatever. But I guess I'm going to have to stay here, huh?

Q: Yep. Scientist F, would you beat him up for us?

F: (winding up) Gladly.

Scientist F beats up Duel, and he gets thrown into a cell with Wuf.

Duel: Ho, China brotha!

Wuf: Don't do that again.

Duel: I bring good news, Wuf! Our Gundarns are getting rebuilt!

Wuf: You're pretty chipper for someone who just got beaten up.

Duel: How'd you know that?

Wuf: You have F's bootprint on your back.

Duel: What? I do? Dang! So anyway, we need to hang for another week or so!

Wuf: OK.

Scene 7: The Luna Base Assault

Scene opens with None and a group of soldiers standing on the bridge of Fortress Barf.

None: Tuberoff, the head of the Luna base, has gotten too aggressive with his mobile frog production. We have to destroy it, and bust the Gundarn pilots out!

Soldier: OK, Colonel None.

None: Today I'm President None. And I believe that there should be defenses for every outposts, food for every child, insults for every soldier....

Soldier 2: I think another mood swing is in order.

The Fortress Barf arrives at the Luna base, and a battle begins. Shot of some Simbas arriving at some big doors. Colonel None is running away.

Soldier: Good luck, Colonel None!

None: Thanks!

Suddenly a pair of new mobile frogs, the Vertigoes, suddenly power up.

Soldier: What! The mobile frogs are getting blow u-

The Vertigoes blast the Simbas away, but None escapes. Scene changes to None pulling a big lever.

None: Ha! I hope those Gundarn pilots owe me big for this! (bang)

Lady None suddenly collapses, and shot of the leader of the base, Tuberoff, holding a gun.

Tuberoff: Ha! No one defeats my mobile frogs!

Shot of Vertigoes rising from the ground, and a huge battle begins. Scene changes to Wuf and Duel boxing.

Wuf: What? The doors are opening! Oof!

Duel punches Wuf in the stomach, then looks around.

Duel: Hey, you're right! Let's go get our Gundarns!

Wuf: (catching his breath) I'll....join you in a minute!

Duel: (running off) Okay, Wu-man!

Scene changes to Deathspatula H and Alton rising from the ground. Deathspatula H is hardly complete, and is still a skeleton.

Duel: Hey, Wuf! How do you like my new Gundarn: Deathspatula H!

Wuf: S'okay. What does the "H" stand for.

Duel: Well, I'd tell you, but since this is a "G" rated show...

Wuf: Oh.

A battle begins between the Vertigoes, Lady None's forces, Deathspatula, and Alton. The Gundarns win, and go blasting off to space.


Scene 8: To Earth

Scene opens with Ketra, Hero, and the Scientists at an outpost. They are working some computers.

Scientist F: It seems that Toto has been replaced by it's overlord, Roamafella Corporation. Roamafella is headed by Duke Dermail, and it's governor of space is Tuberoff. But the Whiff Zero has a new system, called the Minus system. This was developed by the Loser family, but we don't know what it does. Did you get all that, Hero?

Hero: Got it.

Ketra: I didn't...

Hero: You don't need to.

Ketra: (moan).

Scene changes to Hero stealing the Whiff Zero.

Hero: Much too easy. Roamafella is even stupider than Toto, when it comes to guarding big weapons of destruction.

Hero starts attacking Roamafella forces, but Whiff Zero suddenly takes control of him.

Hero: My opponents? Who are my opponents? Who are they? Who am I?

Suddenly he sees a picture of the Old Guy.

Hero: The Old Guy! The OLD GUY IS MY ENEMY!!!!

Hero starts madly attacking Vertigoes. Ketra charges toward the Mercuy.

Ketra: I have to stop Hero! He's doing exactly what I did!

Shot of Ketra facing Hero.

Hero: Ketra, get out of my way! I have to destroy the Old Guy!

Ketra: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!

Hero: DON'T INSULT ME!!!

The two mobile insulters start grappling, but suddenly Hero turns back to normal.

Hero: Uhhh, what's going on? I don't....

Hero barfs all over himself, and falls out of Whiff Zero.

Ketra: (running up) Hero, are you OK? Oh, that's just nasty! But anyway, Hero, let's go to Earth.

Hero: Whatever...

Shot of Ketra and Hero blasting off in a space shuttle, and Mercuy self-destructing. Whiff Zero survives, however, and blasts off on it's own. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
Scene 9: The Bank Kingdom

Shot of Hero and Ketra standing with a group of rebels in a forest.

Rebel 1: We're fighting the Roamafella corporation any way we can! Will you join us?

Hero: Sure! I'll fight any way I can!

Ketra: No! That's not right! I'm going to town!

Hero starts fighting a battle with Romafella, alongside the rebels. Ketra goes into town, and starts talking with an old man.

Old Man: Yep, we live pretty harsh lives now, but we have a dream! A place we all want to go in our lifetimes!

Ketra: Wow! What's that, mister?

Old Man: There once was an old kingdom, one that believed in total pacifism and equal freedom for everyone. All of us believe that one day, that kingdom will be restored and we may live there in peace.

Ketra: (in awe) What's the name of that kingdom, mister?

Old Man: The Bank Kingdom!

Ketra: Huh? That's a strange name.

Old Man: Yes, well, I didn't tell you the other philosophy believed by the Bank Kingdom. A philosophy created by Adam Smith and the late philosopher Hero Yuy.

Ketra: (in awe) What's that philosophy, mister?

Old Man: The philosophy of the free market! In the Bank Kingdom, money flows freely without any diversions and everyone has a chance to become rich. That's what Relentless Wartrade is trying to create.

Ketra: That's it! Thanks, mister!

Scene changes to a big battle in a forest between the rebels and Hero against Roamafella. Cut to Hero at the cockpit.

Hero: I'll keep fighting 'till the day I die! What the?

A panel in the Simba flashes and Ketra is shown running up.

Ketra: Hero! We have to go to the Bank Kingdom! Relentless is there!

Hero: Relentless?

At this epic moment of recollection, a blast hits Hero's Simba dead-on and sends it flying. Hero climbs out and Ketra and Hero walk away.

Scene 10: Relentless in Power

Scene opens with Relentless addressing a group of girls.

Relentless: You are all the grand nieces of the leaders of the Bank Kingdom nations, and I welcome you to the Bank Kingdom's headquarters. I hope you enjoy your stay. I have someone to introduce to you. I hope you will welcome her.

Enter a girl with ten inch eyebrows and hair longer than Hex's.

Relentless: This is Dorothy Catolini, grand niece of the leader of the Roamafella Foundation.

Dorothy: Hello, you weak pacifists! I can't understand why you don't want a war!

Relentless: Thank you, Dorothy. You may sit down now.

Dorothy: The Roamafella Foundation will destroy you all! You will all suffer in our prison camps!

Relentless: (annoyed) Dorothy! Sit down! (snaps her fingers)

Dorothy: (as security drags her away) You will all be dead! All of you! This kingdom won't survive!

Relentless: You will have to excuse her, girls.

Girls: Yes, Miss Relentless!

Scene changes to the Old Guy driving Ketra and Hero to the Bank Kingdoms headquarters in the pink car.

Hero: (grudgingly) I swore to myself long ago I would never set foot in this vehicle.

Ketra: You should be glad you have friends in high places!

Old Guy: Miss Relentless is looking forward to meeting you two.

Hero: That's what I'm afraid of.

Ketra: Hero, don't worry about it!

Car pulls up. Ketra and Hero get out, and meet up with Relentless.

Relentless: Welcome, boys! I am leader of the Bank Kingdom!

Hero: Who will put you in a position of power?

Relentless: (unfazed) Hero! So good to see you again! And Ketra! Gotten over Grainstone's death yet?

Ketra: (blushing) Yes, Relentless.

Relentless: You should be right at home here!

Scene 11: Deathspatula's Return

Scene changes to a happy outpost with lots of Simbas zipping around. Several transports fly back and forth. Suddenly three Simbas explode. Deathspatula H. suddenly appears in the midst of their explosions and activates its spatula.

Duel: I'm back! Too bad old buddy here isn't in great condition.

Deathspatula slices through two more Simbas and starts heading toward the outpost. As it flies past the camera, we can clearly see many different bumper stickers and symbols decorated the wings, the buster shield, and the main body.

Duel: Since Deathspatula wasn't done when I stole him, I had to build him myself. Since I don't have any money, I had to be sponsored.

As Duel speaks, we can see he is wearing a Nike hat and a Joy of Cola T-shirt.

Duel: Time for my pitch! (turns toward the camera) As a Gundarn pilot, I keep up my strength by eating Wheaties every day! (holds up a box and gives a big smile)

Out in space, Deathspatula turns and launches his shield at a Simba. As the shield spins, we can see a "Mobile Insulters don't kill Kids, Kids kill Kids" bumper sticker across the front.

Duel: Not only that, but I wear shoes made by Reebok because I know they'll stick with me through thick and thin! (another big smile)

Deathspatula turns and slices another Simba in half. Then, it turns toward the camera and holds up the double spatula. A pair of Energizer batteries are powering the spatula.
Deathspatula flies away after destroying all the Simbas.

Duel: Later, guys! And remember, kids, insult spatulas are dangerous! Do not use them without permission from your parents! And always brush your teeth!

As Deathspatula flies away, suddenly a large green, flat, and intricately designed ship flies in front of him. A comm. screen appears in Deathspatula's cockpit.

Duel: Who is it?

Oin: Hey, Duel!

Duel: Oin! How you been?

Oin: Just fine! Hey, listen. I have some news. A new group of rebels calling themselves the Black Tooth have declared war on the Earth!

Duel: Big whop. There are lots of rebel groups just like that. Funny name though.

Oin: Yes, but do those other rebels have Hex Markey for a leader, a new Gundarn as a weapon, a humongous battleship named the Liber and a strategy to destroy the Earth?

Duel: Woo! No way! What's that about a battleship?

Oin: I'll tell you later. Anyway, I'm trying to join all the Gundarn pilots together to fight this threat to the Earth and our base of operations will be this ship, the MakeaMillion, flagship of the Bank Kingdom. Will you join us, Duel?

Duel: Sure, but only if you fix Deathspatula.

Oin: Deal!

Scene 12: The Join with Wuf and Trowel

Scene changes to Wuf destroying a bunch of Roamafella Capricorns around a colony in the new Alton Gundarn. Suddenly, a bright pink Capricorn shows up.

Wuf: A newcomer! I will destroy you as well!

Oin: Wait, Wuf! I need to talk to you!

Wuf: Oh, it's you, Oin. I thought you were in the Bank Kingdom.

Oin: Yes, well...

Oin launches into the whole shpiel about Black Tooth and convinces Wuf to join her on the MakeaMillion. Scene changes to Duel on the MakeaMillion.

Duel: Man, I'm bored. I sure hope Wuf decides to join us, otherwise I'll be bored out of my skull, sitting here talking to Howie.

Duel jerks his thumb at Howie, the designer of the Shortduck. Howie has a bushy mustache similar to the Old Guy's and is wearing bright, multicolored pants. Howie is babbling about the methods in which he designed the Shortduck. Suddenly, a door slides open and Trowel walks in.

Duel: Trowel! Howyadoingoldbuddyitssogoodtoseeya,sitdownandhaveadrinkwithme!

Trowel: (calmly) Oh, hi, Duel.

Duel: Oh, hi, Trowel, well, anyway, how did you make it out of the Vayeighteen when it blew up?!

Trowel: Vayeighteen?....Blow up?. I don't really remember.

Duel: Yeah, I know. Trauma and all that. Well, we're off to stop a group of rebels from blowing up the Earth.

Trowel: I know. Oin told me. She also rebuilt Heavyfeet with another insult barb shooter.

Duel: That's awesome! Then you can help us against Black Tooth!

Trowel: I guess...

Scene changes to Hero and Ketra facing Relentless, in her room.

Ketra: I'm sorry, Relentless, but we have to go.

Relentless: Oh, no! But whhhhhyyyyyyy?

Hero: If you start whining, I will destroy you.

Ketra: Oin has told us about a new rebel group, called the Black Tooth! They want to destroy the earth.

Relentless: Hmmm. You have to go stop them. You know what? I'll go with you! I'm getting sick of running the Bank Kingdom anyway!

Hero: You may go, but not with us.

Relentless: Awwwww...
Hero: Do I need to repeat myself?

Relentless: Fine.

Scene changes to Ketra walking into a Middle Eastern town. He walks into a hangar, and inside is Grainstone and some Argonauts.

Ketra: Argonauts! And GRAAAAAIIINNNSTTTTOOONNNNEEEE!!!

He runs up and hugs Grainstone's foot.

Leader: We've outfitted Grainstone for space, Mister Loser. I hope you like him.

Ketra: He's great, thanks!

Shot of Ketra blasting off in Grainstone, and Hero blasting off in the Whiff Zero.

Ketra: I'm so glad to have Grainstone back!

Hero: Does that mean you'll stop talking now?

Ketra: (pouting) That was uncalled for....

Shot of all the Gundarn pilots, Oin and Howie eating Chinese food on the Makeamillion.

Hero: So what is this about a new Gundarn?

Oin: Well, we know it's name is Epyawn, and it's piloted by (get's all dreamy-eyed) Hex...It is armed with a whip and a big sword.

Ketra: A whip and a sword?

Oin: Problem?

Ketra: Just making sure.

Trowel suddenly pops a whole dumpling into his mouth, and starts chewing. Everyone stares at him.

Trowel: (mouth full) Wha?

Wuf: (pulling out a chopstick, turning to Ketra) En garde!

Wuf and Ketra start fencing with chopsticks. Howie picks up a noodle, and dangles it from his fork.

Howie: You know, this noodle reminds me of the Insolar X-45 connecting cable I used on the Shortduck! It was nice and smelly, and oily too!

Oin: (turning green) You can have mine, Howie.

Howie: Wow! Really! Thanks, Oin! You're a real pal!

Hero opens a fortune cookie.

Hero: You will come close, but your good friend will take it away at the last moment. Girlfriend factors into equation. Annoying friend comes close to dying, but it is not your lucky day. Friend of yours needs to cut his hair, and another needs to wear some normal clothes. I wonder what that means?

Trowel: (mouth still full) Probly nothin', Heroo.

Oin: (slapping Trowel in the back of the head) Don't talk with your mouth full! Hasn't your mother taught you nothing?

Trowel chokes and spews his dumpling across the table. Wuf and Ketra leap away, and resume their match on the floor a few feet away.

Duel: Ewww! You barfed in my food, Trowel!

Trowel: Sorry.

Howie: Hey! That chunk reminds me of a component connected with Shortduck's Doby Gun! Can I have it, Duel?

Duel: (pushing it away) Take all of it.

Howie: (starts shoveling it in) Thanks, Duel! You're a pal, too!

Ketra: Ha!

Wuf's chopstick suddenly breaks, and he leaps at Ketra, screaming Chinese battle cries and doing karate moves. Ketra screams and dives under a table. Wuf leaps on top and starts jumping on it, screaming.

Oin: Wuf, leave it!

Wuf: Okyuga Kasiyi!

Ketra: Please?

Suddenly an alarm sounds, and all the pilots look up.
Everyone: Let's go!

Everyone dives off separate edges of the screen.

Scene 13: The Final Battle

Scene opens with the Gundarns and Oin flying toward masses of mobile insulters.

Oin: Okay, troops, listen up! This is it, we need to stop Liber and the Black Tooth from firing on earth! I've heard that Quattor and his troops are prepared to stop Hex, so we'll side with them! Got it?

Everyone: Sure!

Hero: I will fight Hex, alone.

Duel: But I want to too!

Oin: Duel, quiet.

Trowel: Let's go!

The Gundarns blast into the battle, which begins. Shot of Howie standing on the Makeamillion.

Howie: We have to stop the Liber from reaching the Earth! But we don't have any weapons, and we can't rely on those Gundarns! So we're going to ram it! Everybody off!

Shot of the Makeamillion flying toward the Liber. Scene changes to Ketra chopping two mobile frogs in half.

Ketra: It seems that Quattors' forces have this battle pretty much balanced. Our priority is to dispatch the Liber.

Shot of Trowel showering mobile frogs in hails of barbs.

Trowel: Yeah, you're right, Ketra.

Shot of Duel swatting three mobile frogs at once, and then holding up a hair dryer.

Duel: Being a Gundarn pilot, I need to keep my hair in order! And to do that, I have to use ACME Hair Dryers! No one does it like ACME! (smiles)

Wuf: Duel, how much longer are you going to keep doing those stupid pitches?

Duel: Oh, I don't know.
Trowel: We'll enter the Liber through airlocks, and proceed on foot.

Ketra: OK!

Scene changes to Hero fighting mobile frogs.

Hero: Oh, he's here!

Shot of Hex in Epyawn flying in. Shot of two Simbas firing, and Epyawn flies past them. About five minutes later, the Simbas explode. Whiff Zero and Epyawn start fighting.

Hero: Hex, why are you doing this? Why are you attacking Earth?

Hex: Who are you talking to? I'm not Hex.

Hero: Course you're Hex. Who else would you be?

Hex: My name is Yardo Wartrade, member of the Black Tooth and your enemy!

Epyawn shoots away from Whiff, then whips its whip at Whiff's face. Hero blocks it with his shield.

Scene changes to Quattor blowing up mobile frogs in a Shortduck. Suddenly, Wuf flies in with Alton.

Wuf: I have longed for a chance to fight you like this.

Quattor: Why?

Wuf: (caught off guard) Oh...uh...I just want to, that's all!

Quattor: Good enough for me!

They start fighting as well.

Scene changes to a dark room. Inside, Dorothy is seen sitting on a chair wearing a helmet that looks like a bug. A door slides open and Ketra steps inside.

Dorothy: Ketra Ramadan!

Ketra: Dorothy Cataloni!

Dorothy: I don't want to debate philosophy, Ketra, (tosses him a broadsword) but I do want to fight you. (holds up one of her own) So let's have at it! (they start fighting)

Ketra: Good thing I got some practice from Wuf!
The pair battle around and around the room, both grunting and panting from the effort. Suddenly a door opens behind Dorothy and the pair edge out onto a walkway over a bottomless pit.

Ketra: Well, this is certainly dramatic, isn't it? (slices)

Dorothy: (blocks) Yes, it certainly is!

They continue to fight as dramatic music starts playing, and Heavyfeet suddenly steps in and starts blowing up random stuff. This causes smoke and flame to form, adding additional dramatic stuff to an already overly dramatic situation. Suddenly Dorothy knocks Ketra off!

Ketra: No! Grainstone, help!

Shot of Ketra being lifted back up to the walkway on Grainstone's hovering shoulder. The pair fight, leaping back and forth from the walkway to Grainstone, and back again. The music rises to a crescendo, and suddenly Ketra knocks Dorothy off!

Dorothy: (falling into blackness) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ketra: (reaching out) NOOOOOOO!!! DOOOORROOOOTTTTTHHHYYYYY!!!

Ketra stand there in silence for a little while, and then hops into Grainstone and leaves.

Shot of the Makeamillion suddenly hitting the Liber, lots of death and destruction.

Howie: (in escape pod) Did we do a good job, Oin?

Oin: Great!

Hex: A slight change in plan! Liber crew, ram the earth!

Hero: Gasp! NOOOOOO!!!!

Hero and Hex duel with ever greater fury, when suddenly Hero slashes Epyawn and it goes shooting away!

Hero: Hex! No!

Hex: I'll be fine, Hero! I understand the true meaning of goodness and truth now!

Hero: Wow! What a mood swinger!

Epyawn disappears, and suddenly the Liber splits in half, and a piece starts falling toward earth. Hero starts jetting over toward it. Shot of Relentless, Salami, Oin, and some other guys on a space station.

Salami: Hero, that piece will destroy Earth if it hits! But you still have some time left to do something about it!

Hero: OK! (looks around) Where's my Big Gun?

Shot of Wuf and Quattor fighting, and debating philosophy. Suddenly Wuf blows up Quattor.

Wuf: Whoops, I didn't mean to do that! Oh, well. (heads for the Liber)

Shot of Hero arriving at the Liber. All the pilot's faces appear on his monitor.

Hero: What are you doing?

Shot of Deathspatula, Heavyfeet, Grainstone, and the 40 Argonauts inside the piece of the Liber, grabbing useful pieces of machinery and sticking them into big sacks.

Duel: Well, Hero, we figured this thing is going down to earth... Hey, this computer looks good!

Trowel: So if it's going to explode, we might as well take everything useful off it before it goes. Hey, Catherine will love this 40 foot jewelry box!

Hero: You're... looting it?

Argonaut: Well, not exactly, Mr. Yueh. (behind him a Simba powers on) We're just removing more stuff from it to soften the impact. And make some money while we're at it! (grabs the Simba by the head and stuffs it into his sack)

Hero: Well... All right, everybody off!

Everyone: Awwww...

Everyone grabs their last valuables and ships out.

Hero: Now, where's my Big Gun?

Duel: Why do you need it, Hero?

Hero: I will use it to destroy the piece of the Liber and save the Earth from an eternal winter!

Duel: Well, too bad! I've already got it!

Hero: (turns around) WHAT??

Shot of the piece falling toward the Earth. A red streak appears in front of it.

Oin: There's a mobile insulter in front of it!

Salami: Hero? No, Duel!

Exterior shot of Deathspatula H. hurling toward the Earth. In its hand is Hero's Big Gun. Interior shot of Duel aiming the gun. The little crosshairs jump around a lot.

Duel: I will...

Hero: Noo!

Shot of Whiff Zero streaking out and away from the piece.

Duel: I will..!

Hero: Nooo!!

Duel: I WILL!!!

Hero: NOOOO!!!!

The crosshairs lock. Duel fires. A beam of energy two feet thick hurls out of the Big Gun and the piece dissipates.

Hero: No! I've lost the glory again!

Duel: I did it! I saved the Earth! Woo!

Happy music starts playing, a bunch of cool clips in the background, credits roll.


The End