herewith2 Until You're Here With Me: A Post-Slayer Story

Part One: Xander

Anya's weary eyes fluttered open. Ow, even that hurt. I suppose that's what happens when a ton of cinderblocks and boards fall on your head--even if you've got the sturdy healing ability of a demon under your skin.

Where was she? A big bed with floral sheets...in the distance she could see cheery landscape paintings, a huge mirror with an antique golden frame...and before her, on a table next to the bed, framed photos. She was still groggy, disoriented, her vision was unreliable at best, but she could make out the figures: a happy young woman in a gown and cap; a younger girl with darker, longer hair posing for her school photo; three teenagers horsing around, two girls and a guy, and the guy, he looked like...

"Xander...Xander?"

She felt a strong hand gently squeeze hers.

"Right here, babe."

"Where are we..."

"Joyce's bedroom."

Joyce...Buffy's mom. Then those pictures must have been...

"Is Dawn..."

Xander turned his big dark eyes away and shook his head.

"No. She made it."

"Then...the world didn't end, after all..."

He rested his head in one of his hands and remained silent. He tried to contain himself, to look like the brave solidier in front of his girlfriend. To show he could handle it. But as he kept watch over Anya's unconscious body, he saw the photographs too. For hours. And they stabbed him right in the heart.

"Xander...what...who...who didn't..."

He could hardly speak the name, for fear it would make this horrible nightmare even more real.

"Buffy."

"Oh my God..."

"She sacrificed herself for Dawn...for us. For this whole planet. I watched her fall..."

His face turned beet red as he chewed on his lower lip to stop the inevitable. Anya was visibly shaken but managed to push herself into a sitting position and hold her arms out to him.

"C'mon...come here. Let it out. I know you loved Buffy."

He looked up at her, his eyes wet on the surface and about to let go. She continued.

"You had a bond with her and Wil...that goes way back. That's strong in a way different than what we have. And its okay. And...I just want you to let it out."

He sobbed in her arms, and as she caught another glimpse at the happy, confident Buffy in the graduation photo, now so very clear in her vision, tears started to make their slow descent down her cheeks.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"X-Xander? I-it's Tara, I..."

"Come in..." Anya said, still holding Xander beside her as he cried.

"O-oh...I didn't realize..."

Xander suddenly straightened up and wiped off the tears on his face with his hand. Always the solider, though he knew everybody knew him as Cuddles the Bear.

"No, it's okay, Tara," he said, "what's up?"

"I...I just wanted to tell you...I found this yesterday, during the fight..."

She produced a small velvet box from her pocket.

Xander and Anya were speechless. It was the ring.

"I...I thought it might be one of y-yours, because the vibrations on it...it felt kind of like the both of you, s-so I figured I'd ask..."

As if in a trance, Xander took the box from Tara, opened it, and offered it to Anya. Held it tight in her hands and nodded.

"Yes...yes...yes..."

"Yes?" he asked, his voice cracking in the mix between laughter and a sob.

"Yes!"

As they embraced, Tara quietly snuck out the room and closed the door.

She smiled as she remembered an old Wiccan saying...something about the "Circle Of Life"...or was that the Lion King?

*** *** ***

Willow was spent. In the last 24 hours she helped defeat a goddess, watched her best friend die, became an instant surrogate mom, dealt with the coroner's office and police, and began funeral arrangements. There was just one more thing left to do. And it would be hard. How thankful she was to see Tara walk into the kitchen and sit across from her, a momentary distraction from the inevitable.

"H-how are you holding up?"

"Well...my hair still red? Maybe some has fallen out? Some white streaks?"

Tara placed her hand upon hers.

"N-nope."

"God, I still miss her, Tara. It's like I can't even start or I'll just lose it..."

The women remained silent. The sound of Spike talking to Dawn could be heard from upstairs. He was falling apart at the seams, but still managed to be there for the girl. Willow only hoped he would manage to hold on and not become another parental figure Dawn would end up grieving for. It was clear to the Wiccan that suicide was on his mind, and she prayed to the goddess that it wouldn't happen.

Next Chapter: Spike