Body Tales of The Village Idiot Part 2

Written by ......... ,one half of the Wandering Stalfos'.

"So dipshit, how the hell are we going to get out of this one?"

We rejoin our hero to find that he still has the same problem, fat fish boy is still using him as a chair.

"Mmph ees fuulo flub!"

"Your mouth is full of flab?"

"Mm-hm!"

"Ah-ha! I have an idea! Right, close your eyes and think of his flab as one of the big juicy sticks you always eat. Now take a big bite."

Both my immense hunger and hatred for that fairy kid took over and I decided to obey Fred's orders and bite that fishy's ass like there was no yesterday. Fish Dude did not like me taking a good chunk out of his rear and decided to slide along the ice like a thing that slides alot.

Just as I escaped good old Fairy Boy sauntered round the corner holding the biggest M&M I had ever seen and looking very happy for himself . How dare he look so content, didn't he know that I, the great............the great..........erm.....I was on the prowl?!? I decided I was would teach him a lesson in respect, or at least hit him a couple of times with my wooden leg I removed. I gathered up all my courage and pride to say the most insulting thing right to his face.

" You sir, are a cad and a bounder!"

" Way to go dumbass, that one really hurt, just kick his ass!!"

The fairy boy just stared at me as if I was strange, which I was used to by now so I decided to take Fred's expert advice.

" Feel the wrath of the wooden leg of hades!"

Although I pulled the leg back to strike, hit the boy I did not. As I was going to connect with Fairy Kid's head a smaller version of Fat Fishy, beetween the ages of young and old I guessed, came speeding round the corner and trampled me into the ground. One word explained how I felt at this time.

"Argh!!"

When i awoke, Fred was ready with vital information for me.

"Your gay!"

"Gay? Whats gay?"

" *sigh* Nevermind, come on Fairy Boy headed to the Temple of Time."

"Right...........erm.....Fred.........where is the Temple of Time?"

""Grrr........you don't know?! Well, lets just do this. To the Temple of Time!"

The batman scene change music plays as a picture of an evil cucco moves toward the screen and back out as our hero is warped into the magical building.

"This, dumbshit, is the Temple of Time."

I was amazed.

"Wow, Its so.....so....temply."

"There's Fairy Kid! Kick his ass good!"

My nemesis was standing in front of some big door which led somewhere, I think. I ran, and after two falls finally got to him, but as I reached him he pulled some sword out from the ground I was blinded by the light. And this time when I woke up, he was gone.

"Wherever he went, he will come back to here."

Fred was my fountain of knowledge as usual.

"Why don't we wait, I doubt he will be long."

7 YEARS LATER

"How long's it been?"

"Still 7 years like you asked yesterday dumbass"

I waited 7 years for Fairy Boy. Seven looooooooooooong years. Surviving by eating the temple walls and drinking my own fluid. I figured by the time he returned, I would be pretty mad. The thing that kept me going was Fred's company. I don't think I could have lived without it.

"Seven years and not one shaven goat. All because of this one Fairy Boy. He will pay for this dearly"

"Why does he need to pay? Can't we just beat him up?"

"Shut up."

Just then, In a flash of wonderful light, he appeared. My arch nemesis. My sworn enemy. The guy I have a strong dislike for. And he was.......big.

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah well he grew up a few years, you can still take him. Kick his Fairy ass, once and for all!"

"Who's there?"

The Fairy Kid's voice was strong and commanding. Unlike myself.

"Me." I squeaked.

"Reveal yourself. What's your name?"

I stepped into the light.

"Fred."

I tried to explain to Fred that Fairy Boy can't hear him, all the while having a sly plan in mind..

"Fred, Fairy Boy can't hear you. Now please be quiet while I prepare to BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A CHAIR!!"

I try to turn quickly, pull my wooded leg off, and hit him with it at the same time, but fail miserably and end up where I usually do, flat on my ass.

As Fairy Boy stands over me, I begin to reflect. Was this all worth it? Can I not think of any good plots? Will someone please give me an idea of where to go with this story??

Okay, really people, If you like this story and want it to continue (yeah, right) then please give me some ideas. Review, e-mail, homing pidgeon, whatever way you like. Ciao!