Coffee Chaos and Bathroom Battles Chapter Three: Caffeine


I own nothing, except my bishounen fantasies and the idea for this fic. Made entirely for my own

amusement. Do not hurt me.






"Oh God...please no!" Heero stared in horror as the sugar was dumped into the coffee

mugs. The white crystals peered over the top of the cups, Duo's ten-foot mug and Quatre's normal

sized mug with pretty flowers on it. The brown coffee made a gurgling sound and suddenly the

sugar was sucked down a whirlpool and dissolved.

Wufei was transfixed in fear, "That's strong coffee..." Heero nodded in agreement,

neither of them daring to remove their eyes form the horrifying scene. Trowa slumped out of the

bathroom, panting heavily under the cement laden chisel, about 1-foot thick cement laden to be

exact. "I think I got most of the cement off, but the counter's still a little rocky and...."

Trowa trailed off as he saw Duo and Quatre. Duo scrambled up on top of the rim of his mug while

Quatre raised his to his lips in a semi-salute. The other G-boys tensed and shuddered as they

took a sip, or dunked their heads (cough, Duo, cough).

The result was immediate, well, for Duo. Quatre sat there calmly, sipping his coffee and

smiling. Duo's reaction was more dramatic. There was sorta a popping noise, then Duo rose out of

the coffee mug into the air and, well...contracted. He started to shrink and, um...sprout wings.

Bat wings. You know where I'm going.

Duo had become Chibi Duo Shinigami, aka Duo bat. (and the world trembled in fear!) He had

Kawaii wings and kawaii hair in a braid and...oops! I'm rambling. Well, anyway, he was at that

moment immersing himself in his coffee.

"I always knew Duo was a bit strange, but I never knew he reacted like this to coffee..."

Heero stared at the tiny bat wings poking out of the mug and tiny droplets of coffee splashing

around the room. Trowa sighed and stared at the carpet, "Carpet cleaning bills on top of money

for a new counter AND coffee machine." He glanced at the tiny, sputtering little Mr. Coffee as

it continued to die in the corner.

Suddenly, there was high pitched maniacal laughter coming from the coffee mug. Duo bat

leaned over the edge and looked at everyone. His eyes were bugged out and he was shaking,

spattering more coffee everywhere.

"Oh no..." Wufei whispered, "This can't be happening."

Quatre glanced at Duo and started to yell. "Get down everyone! Duck!"

Duo suddenly blurred and shot out of the mug into the air. He hit the ceiling, then the

wall, then the table...he was pin balling around the room. The G-boys followed Quatre's lead and

knocked down the table and erected it as a barrier. They dove behind it and hid.

"What's the matter with Duo?" Heero whispered to Quatre. "Well, to put it in VERY mild

terms, Duo is having what we would call a 'Sugar/Caffeine rush'". There was a crack and they

peered over the edge. Duo had smashed into the chandelier and was heading straight for them. They

all ducked down again, except Wufei. He craned his neck up to see what was happening.

There was a smacking noise and muffled sounds of yelling. Duo bat had his fingers firmly

entwined in Wufei's hair and was peering around with interest as Wufei danced around the room

blindly, trying to get the winged demon off him. "AHH!! INJUSTICE, GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" He

screamed.

As the Trowa and Quatre ran to assist him, Heero quietly crept off into the bathroom since

the coast was clear. The other two finally managed to pry Duo bat off with a crowbar and they sat

panting on the damp carpet. Duo bat lay there for a moment, then took the opportunity to dunk

himself back in his coffee mug and continue wrecking the living room.

There was a sudden blast of music from the bathroom. They all stared as they realized

what had happened. Then the music became clear. "Brittney Spears..." Quatre groaned, curling into

a little ball and covering his ears. Trowa and Wufei rushed over and started to yell and pound

on the bathroom door, well, Wufei yelled. Trowa just pounded.

The horrible music continued to grow louder and louder, till even Quatre was angry. You

never want to see Quatre angry. They all yelled to be heard over the music. "WE'VE GOT TO TURN IT

OFF!" Wufei screamed. They all sat and tried to think over the noise. Then Duo bat happened to

smack into the table, look at them and smile a little dizzily, then fly unsteadily to the coffee.

It was then that Trowa formulated a plan.

"OKAY, THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO!" Trowa took some time to explain, and then the

plan began.

Quatre stood in the middle of the room that Duo bat was wrecking. "Duo bat, I've got a

nice little Doughnut for you!" He said in a cheerful sing-song voice. Duo bat glanced at it and

grinned happily before flying to Quatre's outstretched hand. Quatre made sure Duo bat had several

doughnuts to occupy him before marching toward the bathroom. Trowa and Wufei each had a firm grip

on the door handle and were tensed in a ready stance. Duo bat had just run out of doughnuts when

Quatre gave the signal. They yanked open the door and he threw Duo bat into the bathroom.

There was a crashing sound and yelling inside as Duo bat pin balled off the walls. Then

Duo bat hit the stereo and broke it. The music stopped and they all gave a sigh of relief. Heero

staggered out of the bathroom. He swayed on his feet and muttered, "Mission completed..." before

collapsing. Duo bat flew out and dunked himself in coffee.

Wufei danced around happily as he rushed for the open bathroom door. He would finally

have a nice warm shower after all of this mess. The door closed and there were sounds of water

flowing. The others looked around and smiled. It was over.

Then there was a yell from the bathroom. "AHH!!!! THE WATER IS COLD! INJUSTICE!" They

glanced at each other as they ran for the door, well, all but Duo bat.

Wufei yanked open the bathroom door just as Heero ran out of the apartment. He hastily

grabbed a towel and chased all of them down the halls. Sounds of screaming echoed all around the

building.

And so Duo bat was left alone. He sighed contentedly as he swam in his coffee, splashing

all the while. He dove into the coffee and took a long drink. Then the sugar/caffeine rush took

over once more...



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