Hey everyone, this is something I've been working on for a while. A long while. I've actually had the idea for… dang, years. It just took me this long to get to it… I'm actually still not done with it actually. The chapter got so long, I had to cut it up into two pieces. Which is similar to what I've had to do for my Ed edd'n eddy story that I'm also posting tonight.

Just warning you now, the first chapter here is just the plot. The actual fun lemony fresh chapter will come after that.

Now that I say it out loud, that might be my new writing style. Write out the plot for the first chapter, and post the lemony stuff in the second. A good one-two punch. Better than the huge one-shot novella I toss out that take forever.

What do you think.

Anyway, as the title hints. I'm taking all the nerds of the first season, and I'm putting them together with a girl for a 'group thing'. The girl herself you'll have to guess at. She won't show up until the second chapter.

Guessing the girl gets you nothing, but guessing why gets you a prize. Its believable too.

One last thing. I do intent to make this a story. Unconnected stories. All involving the nerds as the main characters. Still figuring out if they're taking place during the actual show or not. If you have any ideas, please send'em.

Enjoy, read and review.

Nerdgasm

Arc 1- Herd animals

Chapter 1- Weird and Cringy

"And that's why beavers shouldn't be considered members of the vermin family."

Harold prattled on. His lazy, nasally voice doing what it could to kill any joy or love of life around him. Leaving only homicidal annoyance and maiming inducing anger in its place. Harold himself was holding a composition notebook. Its edges and frame worn and old. Its pages filled with handwritten notes and diagrams. The second most annoying nerd on the island was thoughtlessly fallowing the laziest, Noah, who speed walked ahead. Noah's eyes were shut, his ears covered, humming to himself. Trying to escape his unwanted sidekick ramblings about rodent trivia.

"Th-Their skeletal structure, are like, totally different from rats." Harold added, turning a page. Noah himself put a finger to his head and pulled the thumb trigger with a silent 'pow' sound. "I mean, j-just look at their teeth." Harold continued, oblivious. Noah himself made a gagging motion. "I can loan you my journal about b-beavers and rats, i-if you promise not to get food on it and st-stuff."

Noah pretended to hang himself. "No thanks. I'm good."

Noah waved off the red-headed nerd before turning away, walking off, and hoping Harold took the hint. He did not. Harold fallowed Noah as he continued reading from his fabled journal about another rodent. Hoping trivia about the greatest of all vermin would catch Noah's attention. It did not. Noah shook his head as he left the pool area of the hotel and went back inside the actual building.

"Yes, I'm a nerd too. Doesn't mean I want to know what specific way mice eat their own nut filled fudge." Noah sighed, lazily, as the doors of the hotel whooshed open. A wave of cold air washed over them- but Noah was too annoyed to enjoy it as Harold continued rambling on about something huge, fluffy, and amphibious in South America. Noah shook his head as he went into the lounge. Harold fallowed. "Do you actually think I care about this stuff, or are you just fallowing me like a herd animal looking for safety in numbers?"

"D-Did you say something?" Harold asked, lifting his head up from his book for the first time since he pulled it out that day. "B-Because if you did, i-its very ru-rude. I'm reading off inter-interesting stuff here. Its for your benefit. I'm expecting a thank you, s-soon."

"Herd animal it is." Noah grumbled, turning away again as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"M-Most rodents are herd animals, yes." Harold tilted his head, annoyed. Harold closed his notebook as he pulled out a payday bar and started nibbling on it, bit by bit. "Everyone should know that. I'm surprised you did."

"I saw you, and that's what popped in my head." Noah grunted, tilting his head back and giving the ceiling a pleading look. Noah fast walked forward thoughtlessly as he mumbled. "Autistic, 4chan, incel, Ass-hat."

"I-If you're interested in the herd activity of rodents, there are certain species that will fallow the leader of their group. Even if they're the youngest, smallest, or just happened to be drifting in a certain direction. He-heck, even or especially i-if that indi-individual has no food." Harold said, plopping his payday bar in his mouth as he reopened his notebook. Its nuts jammed between his buck teeth as he fallowed Noah into the lobby, shifting through page after page until he found what he was looking for. The smaller Noah outright trying to whistle out the noise of the taller nerd behind him. "These species just keep going until the leader chooses to stop, sometimes even off a cliff. I-Isn't that amazing?!"

"In a murder-suicide sort of way, yeah." Noah answered thoughtlessly, before he stopped and turned back around. Harold's mouse like face looking back down at him as he took another nibble of his payday bar. "How often does the leader of the herd choose to stop and do the more annoying ones die?"

"Hmmm, u-usually when picking up more members of the heard." Harold answered, then leaning his head back before flipping through a couple pages. "L-Less often, its when the h-herd runs into pre-predators. Traps and am-ambushes being the standard method."

"Guessing by something bigger, better looking, and buzz worthy." Noah rolled his eyes, rubbing his temple.

"If that's how you wa-wanna describe hou-house pets, then yes." Harold stuttered, shoving the last of his payday bar down his gullet before scribbling what appeared to be Noah's line into his notebook.

"House pets?"

"That's where most of the doc-documentation of predatory pa-patterns for his particular br-breed of rodents are." Harold informed snobbishly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Even adding a snotty little sniff at the end. Though as his grammar was all over the place. "R-Rodent massacre fun fact, most people assume cats are the primary slaughter machine, and they are. But felines only hunt that particular species because they have to, not be-because they wa-want to. Most cats will outright avoid this breed of rat if they can. Dogs though? D-Dogs hunt and eat the rat like it was any other rodent. Isn't th-that fascinating?"

"Oh god." Noah groaned, banging his head against the hotel wall- for the third time in the ten minutes. Its sound echoing in the empty lobby. His head hurt, and it has nothing to do with how hard the wall was. "Isn't there anyone, anyone at all that I can talk to besides yo-"

"What's up my dudes?" Zeke greeted, waving at the two as he walked in from the hallway next to them. Everyone's 'favorite' home-school kid lifted up his shades at them as he adjusted the fake gold chains around his neck. The recently urban exposed nerd was nibbling on the large fake dollar sign that was dangling on his skinny chest. "Sup Brah, Z-dog represent!"

"Oh yeah..." Noah sighed, smacking his head against the wall... again. "You're a cringy weirdo too."

The two nerds were not happy to hear that. Lazy Nasally objections mixed with hip-hop lingo from decades back at Noah's comment.

"Hey guys." A voice announced across the lobby. Noah lifted his head up enough to find the final true nerd of the season and the smallest of the quartet- Cody. The chestnut haired dork was standing next to the concierge's desk, a small package was sitting next to him. Cody was trying to rip the tape off. He was having some trouble. Harold and Zeke gave each other a look, then at Noah, before walking off to Cody. Noah himself watched the two go, then he scanned the room around him. He noticed how empty it was. How silent. How alone it made him. Noah shrugged as he fallowed them.

"Herd animal. Safety in numbers." Noah sighed before he walked over to his fellow nerds. He made it there as Cody was stabbing the box with a pen, trying to get through the tape. "You're not gonna do something weird and cringy too, are you?"

"I've spent the last 10 minutes trying to open this package." Cody said, the tip of the pen was forced back into the cheap plastic from the latest stab. Cody grumbled as he tossed the pen to his side. "How about you guys?"

"I was about to tell Noah how rodents always use their teeth when they can't crawl or squeeze into something." Harold said, holding up his notebook.

"Great idea!"

Cody grinned before biting into the box. The package itself was about the size of a cafeteria dinner tray and around the height of a water bottle. It was made of pretty standard cardboard, but it was wrapped in layers of tape. As Cody continued to gnaw into it, Noah looked at the address attached to it, trying to see what it was.

"Mhahhh-haphphph!" Cody mumbled, ripping off a chunk of the cardboard. Tape and all. Cody spat it out to his side as he reached into the hole he made. The hole itself was around the size of Noah's fist, just enough to get what was inside. Which turned out to be a can of all things. A thin tall-boy. Bright orange, covered in different colored polka dots. It read 'power balls' on the side. "Got it. Finally."

"Yo homes, what dat?" Zeke asked, doing a terrible gang sign with his hands. Noah ignored the horrible 90's relic as he looked up from the address on the box and saw Cody all but guzzle down the entire can in one go. The chestnut haired nerd crumpled up the cheap aluminum, tossing it in a waste-basket.

"Ohhh, man." Cody sighed, relieved, before he plopped his hand in the package and pulled out another can. He all but tore off the top of it before taking a sip. The look on his face was practically orgasmic. The rest of the nerds stood there and watched this happen. Neither one of them knew what to make of this, but from the looks on the other's faces Noah could guess they were just as uncomfortable as he was. "Jesus, I'm never going this long without one of these again."

"W-Wait, this long?" Harold asked, confused.

"Did you know we get care packages from fans?" Cody asked, slurping another sip of the fresh orange can. Noah raised an eyebrow at this.

"Not a good start on the weird or cringy." Noah poked his thumb at the two nerds to his side. "Still, better than what I've got so far."

"Wiggity- wiggity-what, we get care packages?" Zeke asked, doing more stuff with his hands.

"Okay, you need to stop that." Noah shook his head before turning back to Cody. "Care packages?"

"Y-Yeah," Harold stuttered, opening his notebook again and shifting through a few pages. Eventually he settled on one and poked at some of his notes. Apparently it wasn't about rats. "The show itself doesn't start airing for another month. H-how di-did you get a ca-care package from a f-fan?"

"We're not supposed to get any kind of mail." Zeke said, thankfully dated lingo free. The moron was scratching the back of his head in thought, even though he's the one that brought the question up. "My Pa wanted to send me the skin of a moose he hunted while I was gone."

"Moose skin?" Cody asked, taking another sip. The other nerds also turned their heads to look at the home-schooled rapper.

"It would give me the strength and courage of the beast..." Zeke shrugged, the fake dollar sign on his chest dangled around. "Homie."

"Yeah... no way in hell the hotel or the show would've accepted that. I'd be surprised if the post office did." Noah gave Zeke a lazy look before he shook his head and turned back to Cody. The snarky nerd leaned over and squinted at the can Cody was holding. The chestnut haired geek took a step back, concerned and protective of his precious. "Power balls. All day energy and substance production."

"Tha-That's odd marketing." Harold stuttered, scribbling down something in his notebook.

"Its just weird- Damn." Noah cursed. "Alright, bring on the cringe."

"A delivery of these came in the mail for me the day after I was eliminated." Cody explained, fallowed by a gulp this time. "It was just waiting for me, right here on the desk. One of the staff was standing there for me to sign for it."

"The day after?" Noah asked. Harold himself was scribbling down more stuff in his notebook next to him. Noah gave him a look before turning back to Cody. "Weren't you still messed up and in a full body cast?"

"Was it addressed to just you and not everyone here?" Zeke asked, pointing at Cody. Ignoring Noah's question. "If you've been keeping it for yourself when you were supposed to be sharing that's a... penis-move."

The other three dorks actually stopped and stared at him for that, not just Noah. Zeke himself pretended to ignore them, but he quickly broke down and started fidgeting with his fingers as his face got a few shades redder.

"Anyway..." Noah said, desperate to move on from the sheer awkwardness of it all. The rest were happy to comply.

"No, its just me." Cody took another swig. "The same girl shows up every week with a new delivery. You might've seen her. Really tall. Dark skin. Long purple hair. Well, whatever. If you guys want, have some."

Cody offered them his can.

No way in hell was Noah going to drink that, even if Cody hadn't put his dirty lips and tongue all over it. Noah turned to look at the other dorks next to him. Harold himself gave Noah a look before scribbling more notes into his little book. No surprise, it was Zeke who took the bait. Harold reached his hand out to stop him, but Noah caught his wrist and held him down. Noah shook his head at the bespectacled nerd as Zeke grabbed the can.

"Thanks brah" Zeke said, the hip hop lingo returning, and took a swig. Instantly, the home-schooler spat it back out like something from an anime skit. Zeke actually dropped the can in his antics, but before it could hit the ground Cody dove to the floor and caught it. "Gah, it tastes like liquid cardboard."

"Careful, you almost spilled it." Cody glared. Well, as close to glaring as Cody ever got. The smallest of the quartet was still on his back on the floor. Cody was about to take another sip but it was snatched from his hands. "Hey!"

"I-I must ex-examine this." Harold said, sniffing the opening of the can. The rodent loving geek cringed. "It has the scent of an ex-expired ch-chemistry set."

"Lets count it down- Illegally mailed to one specific contestant a day after arrival. Weird taste, smell, logo, and...Oh, no name or return on the address of the box." Noah said, counting off everything with his fingers at the makeshift team then pointing at the delivery that Cody had to bite through. The snark knight paused as he turned to the nerd as his feet, still on the floor. "How often have you been drinking it."

"Uhhh, every day." Cody answered with a shrug as he got back up to his feet. "For some reason, I can't get enough of the stuff. Its like monster, but better."

The three looked at each other, then back at Cody, who's eyes were laser focused on the can still in Harold's grip.

"Uhhh, qu-question." Harold stuttered, his notebook out and ready, even if his other hand was too occupied to actually write anything. "Ha-has this stuff been affecting yo-you in anyway?"

"Ummm..." Cody leaned his head back, thinking. Suddenly his whole body jerked to the side.

"What was that C-dog?" Zeke asked.

"Huh?" Cody asked. "Oh, its nothing. Just, something's been off with my down stairs late- Nothing!"

"Okay, Cody!" Noah announced, grabbing the can out from Harold's grasp and headed toward the potted plant next to the nearest lobby couch. "You just won red flag bingo."

"Hey, what are you doing?" Cody demanded, his arms reaching out to Noah.

"Hold him." Noah ordered, to his own surprise Harold and Zeke did. Each grabbing him by an arm and holding Cody in place. Noah quickly made it to the plant. He looked back at his little group of nerdlings and held the can over the plant. "You need this man. More importantly, I need to see what this does."

Noah emptied the can into the plant. Its juices quickly swallowed up by the soil. That was normal. What wasn't normal, was that the thing grew. Not just the leaves or the stem- But all of it. At least a foot in every direction. Including the roots, which burst out of the cheap ceramic that was holding it. Oh, and about a dozen flowers and seed pods sprouted out of nowhere. It was silent after that. No one moved. No one even breathed.

"Hollowed e-excrement." Harold stuttered, from the sheer surprise this time as he dropped his notebook.

"Shiznit." Zeke added with a whistle, his gold painted heavy chains clanking on his neck.

"No!" Cody cried, pulling himself free from the scrawny nerds grasps. The bespectacled chubby chaser and rapping farm boy might've been a pinch stronger than him, but the chess club champion was determined to break free from their grubby, dry, yet still sweaty hands. Cody dashed over to the plant, diving at the pot holding it. The cheap plastic containing it barely holding together. The scrawniest of the geeks was on his knees before it, all but beseeching the god of energy drinks at this makeshift shrine of caffeine, sugar, and growth hormones. "My power balls! Monster. Someone get me a monster!"

"Jesus, you've been chugging this every day?" Noah asked to the now weeping Cody... who proceeded to start licking the leaves of the currently overgrown ficus. Noah stood there, his mouth open at the sight- disgusted, and he'd seen the season's winner eat an entire buffet table by himself in less than 10 minutes. It didn't take long for the other two nerds to make their way up to this. Harold grabbing his dropped notebook without breaking his eye contact with Cody. The expression on their faces were a close cousin to Noah's. "Okay, there had to be some kind of drug in there- Wait. Zeke, its been a minute. How you feel?"

"Uhhh, I crunk son!"

"Alright, I still feel like hitting you." Noah gave Zeke an annoyed look. "So you're fine."

"Huh, p-perhaps the s-subject might need prolonged e-exposure to the substance." Harold hypothesized, hunching over Cody as he started writing notes in his book.

"Dude, his name is Cod..." Noah trailed off as he saw the chess club champion actually put a full overgrown leaf into his mouth, suck and slurp on it, before replacing it with another. "...Yeah, you were always a thirsty bitch but, wow. Okay, subject works. Chem dork, you think you can figure out what this crap is?" Noah asked, holding up the now empty can. The fantasy and psychology book loving geek spotted something on the shiny cheap metal, or rather spotted something that wasn't there. "It doesn't have a content label."

"N-Not with the c-current supply." Harold answered, grabbing the can from Noah and tilting it back and forth. Not a drop inside. "Besides, I don't have acc-access to my homemade ch-chemistry set at my base of op-operation's laboratory."

"Mom's basement or Uncle's meth lab? I can see both." Noah asked before he looked at Cody slurp three leaves at once this time. "Wait, did you say homemade?"

"DIY dawg!" Zeke cheered. "We can build the bling here with the Scrilla in the supply closet. I can help y'all."

"How could you possibly help?" Noah asked, incredulously. "Aside from listing you as the reason for self-inflicted deafness?"

"Me and my Pa messed with chemical formulas all the time." Zeke nodded, confidently. "I can't tell you how many fertilizer bombs and potato guns I made just this year."

"Ooookay..." Noah stretched on, swapping his gaze from Zeke to Harold. The bespectacled rodent enthusiast shook his head at the farm boy's suggestion to be his breaking bad sidekick. "We'll put a pin in that. Still, you think you can do it?"

"I got a g-good inventory of the h-hotel's contents fr-from last night's d-dinner." Harold explained, a look of shocked disgust on his face. Noah couldn't blame him. Owen had that effect on people when he had the option to eat as much as he wanted. The snark nerd was one of the few who had the sense to leave the hotel's cafeteria when Owen showed up. "Its not en-enough to clean up the c-combined vomitus of the sh-show's cast, but it should b-be enough f-for our designs."

"Come on man." Noah shook his head. "Who talks like that?"

"Yeah homie." Zeke folded his arms at Harold. The idiot actually tangled his arms in the fake chains around his neck. "Ya gotta get jiggy-whit it!"

"I-I never thought I'd miss Owen." Noah stared at the two. His face blank but his head hurt. Noah turned to Cody, who was now sucking on the exposed roots. "What about him?"

"Uhhhh-"

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Cody Anders-Oh, there you are!"

A member of the hotel staff appeared in front of them, as if out of thin air. She was a girl, around their age, if a bit older. On the tall side. Head and shoulders above the boys. All four of the nerds had much lighter skin than she did. Even Noah, who was a second generation Indian immigrant. The staff member being around almond Hershey's. Though the thing that stuck out the most about the girl, her hair. It was a long ponytail. Reached down to her lower back and bright purple. The staff member looked at Noah with a happy smile before she noticed the others around him. The smile turned into a giddy grin as she all but bounced on her feet. The papers on her clipboard almost spilled out.

"OMG, you're all here!"

"Uh, do we know you?" Noah asked, as he finally got a look at her face. It was oval-shaped and long, yet somehow lacked a chin. Her smile was bright and crooked with thick lips. But her eyes. Her dark eyes drank in everything and let nothing escape. Noah suddenly felt very wrong... well, wrong-er.

"Oh, sorry." The staff girl apologized, holding up the clipboard. "I'm looking for, ah, him, to sign this." She said pointing at Cody, still on his knees. The chestnut haired nerd having moved onto licking the stalks of the plant now. The girl was practically gushing at the chess club champion turned mindless animal looking for a teat to latch onto. "Awww, he's so cute."

"Affirmative, vi-visually endearing." Harold nodded, slowly. Backing away a step.

"You blind, that dawg is whack!"

"Ugh, well, as you can see, Cody's not really up for... anything, right now." Noah sighed, he didn't know what was more painfully embarrassing or who was causing it. "Least of all, signing something. You the delivery gir-person Cody mentioned?"

"Hesitate a-a micro-m-minute. Cody men-mentioned something abou-" Harold stuttered, opening back up his notebook and showing it too them. It happened a bit too fast for Noah, but he managed to read 'purple hair' before the staff member swatted down her clipboard onto Harold's notebook.

"I-its cool, any of you can sign. It doesn't really matter." The tall staff girl stuttered, her hand over most of the document in the clipboard. Noah squinted at that, reading the top of it. The words on its heading were large enough to poke through her fingers. "BT-dubs, huge fan."

"Huge fan?" Noah asked, giving the staff girl a look. "The show hasn't aired yet."

"Uh-ummm..." The staff girl jumbled, her eyes ping-ponging back and forth looking for an answer. "The staff here, at the hotel. We get to see the unedited stuff before they scrub it out. We were the only hotel that would do it. Its why we didn't charge that much."

"Shiznit Dawg." Zeke cursed, or at least Noah thought he cursed. "This rapper needs to start sending free samples to his hotels."

Everyone gave him a level look for that, even the staff girl.

"That seems ec-economically and le-legally unlikely." Harold said, pulling his notebook away from the staff girl.

"You need a new direction. Have you tried method acting?" The staff girl asked, folding her arms at the urban farm boy. "I could see you as a gollum stand-in."

"I say do it." Noah nodded, supportive. The home schooled rapper smiled gratefully at the snarkiest nerd. "I'd love to see you get tossed out by security."

"Anyway..." The staff girl shook her head, ignoring Zeke as she held up her clipboard again. Zeke himself was all too happy to be left in the background. "Any of you can just sign Cody's name here, and I'll be on my way."

"Yeahhhh, not doing that." Noah gave the staff girl a look as he pointed at the clipboard. "Especially not for a marriage license application."

"Uhhhh..."

The staff girl trailed on, not unlike a deer in headlights... or Cody when he see's literally any of the girls in a bikini. Noah didn't know why the purple haired delivery damsel was surprised, she was holding it right up to them. Speaking of, the moment the snarky nerd pointed that out Harold and Zeke stopped looking the staff girl herself and focused on the clipboard. Cody was still going to town on the plant. Zeke actually did a double take at that while Harold started scribbling in his notebook. Before that, the latter actually had his pen out ready to sign. So maybe she should have been so surprised.

Regardless, the staff girl herself just continued standing there, frozen. As she did, Noah used the time to get a better look at the contract she wanted Cody to sign. Admittedly, Noah didn't know much about contracts. So he scanned as much as he could with a quick glance before darting down to the bottom. To Noah's surprise, the staff girl actually had all the signatures she needed to get the marriage license. All but one, Cody himself. That wasn't the worst of it. The real shocker was that Noah recognized all of the signatures on the contract. They were all contestants from the show.

Noah couldn't believe this. While he wasn't on the season very long, he knew for a fact that none of the campers would've signed something like this. Not even as a joke. At least not without asking Cody first. Hell, most would have loved to see this girl tossed out by security. But why would they sign this, unless... they were tricked. That would explain why the staff girl was so surprised when Noah pointed it out. Would the rest of the now ex-contestants really sign something without reading it-yes. Yes, they would. Noah had no problem believing that. Though, if that were true, was Noah really the first one to bother looking to see what this strange weirdo who popped out of nowhere wanted him to sign, out of everyone on the show- yes. Noah had no problem believing that. Especially given who signed that dang thing.

Noah took another look at the signatures. Reading all the names, making sure he memorized all of them. Though, there was one name that stuck out. Even if the staff girl's thumb covered half of it, the signature was a name that Noah had never seen before.

"Sooo, 'Sier'..." Noah crossed his arms at the staff girl. Funny enough, the other two nerds at his side fallowed him. The snarky nerd didn't let that distract him as he gave a good pause for dramatic effect. Noah finally looked at the name tag on her uniform. She didn't have one. "Who are you, exactly?"

"I-I, I am..." The staff girl paused, her eyes darting down to her own signature on the contract. Her face puffed up with her cheeks getting a few shades redder. "Ohhhhh, would you look at that!"

The staff girl all but hopped back a couple of feet, hiding the clipboard behind her back. The staff girl's face looked all kinds of embarrassed and apologetic. She didn't fool Noah though. You don't become BFF's with someone who can eat 100K worth of cheese in one night and not know what fear looks like.

"I gr-grabbed the wrong paperwork. Whoops. Silly me. I'll just run back and gr-grab the real-right stuff. Tha-Thanks for pointing that out. Later... sorry."

The fake staff girl babbled, backing up a step with every word. Though always facing the nerd trio. Keeping her dark, all consuming eyes on them the whole way. As she did, Noah took one final look at her. 'Sier' was... actually, pretty plain. Not pretty. Not ugly. Her stolen hotel red blazer and matching dress pants were actually pretty big on her. Baggy. Hiding any and all features. 'Sier' could be as skinny as heather, chubby Sadie, or thicc as Beth and no one would ever know. Forget how tall she was. The only real thing that stuck out about her was her height and her purple hair... and her eyes. Those tiny black dots you don't forget.

"Yo, N-dawg." Zeke asked on his right, tapping his shoulder. "You good?"

"I-Indeed." Harold added on his left, scribbling into his book. "Pl-Please confirm m-mental availability."

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." Noah nodded half heartedly, his eyes still on the hallway the fake staff girl disappeared in. The snarky nerd hummed at that, rubbing his chin in thought. "I'm good."

"That was Jiggy creepy, bruh." Zeke cringed, himself this time. "We call Five-oh?"

"Aff-Affirmative." Harold nodded, shifting through his book until he found a page covered in phone numbers. "A-Authorities sh-should handle th-this."

"Yeah. Call securi-" Noah stopped himself as he turned back to face his nerdly crew and found something he missed before. Back on the concierge desk, Noah noticed something sticking out from under the care package that started all this. Walking over to it, Noah pulled it out. It was an envelope. "Hold on. What's this?"

"Oh god." Cody groaned. The poor drugged fool was still on all fours next to the force grown ficus. The chestnut chess champ looked dazed and groggy. His head literally tilting from one side to another as his eyes spun all over the place. It reminded Noah of when Owen went on a candy frenzy. The big blond always looked like Cody just now. It always ended with something coming out of some end and an emergency injection of insulin. "I don't feel good."

"You've been giving a happy ending to a lobby plant for the last five minutes." Noah gave him a look. "What did you think was gonna happen?"

"No. Its like this every time." Cody coughed, getting up on his knees now as he started rubbing the side of his head. "I get a craving for that stupid soda. I feel like I spent the day on the Vomit comet for five minutes. Then I spend an hour in the bathroom trying to jac- take a dump... but I never can."

"Hold on." Noah, and the rest of the nerds turned completely to face Cody. "You've been here this whole time, drinking this stuff, and You haven't... 'taken a dump'. At all?"

"Th-The worst part is," Cody paused, grabbing hold of the couch arm rest to pull himself to his feet. The second he tried standing up, he flinched forward. Both hands shot between his legs. A pain every man- or nerd- knew covered his face. "Ah, hurts. Every time." The chess champ sighed, looking at the other nerds "I know its coming, but I can't control it. Its like there's something missing."

The nerdly trio didn't know how to react to that. All three of them looking at each other. Well, Zeke and Noah did. Harold, the bespectacled dork, was writing down every word they were saying.

"Hey," Zeke broke the silence, pointing at the envelope in Noah's hand. "OG No-Ah. Wat Da-"

"Alright. On pause, everybody." Noah raised a hand as he turned to his least favorite home-schooled rapper. "Where did you even learn to talk like that? Your bio says you were raised in the middle of nowhere. You don't even have a TV. You only learned about the show because of a cobbled together radio you made in the family barn."

"Oh, um... this." Zeke held up a crumpled magazine from his back pocket. "It was just sitting there on the table in the lobby. I've been here the longest. There wasn't much to do until the rest of you showed up."

"So, you've been reading..." Noah snatched the magazine out of the farmboy's hand. "How to talk like kids today. April, 1994. Jesus, this right here is why no one read's magazines anymore."

"Ho-How to sp-speak like youth on the st-streets." Harold said, holding up another magazine from the lobby coffee table. It honest to god had Will Smith on the cover, in his Bel-Air outfit.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be better if I went with the more current one."

"Okay!" Noah growled, grabbing both magazines. "I'll take those. Back on, everyone." The snark nerd held up the envelope. "I found this. It was under the 'power ball' package."

"Oh right, there's more." Cody mumbled, stumbling back toward the desk.

"Oh right, there's more." Cody mumbled, stumbling back toward the desk.

"No. Hold him again." Noah snapped, a little surprised that he actually had to actually tell them that. Thankfully, Cody didn't put up much of a fight as the urban farmboy and the stuttering chubby chaster held his wrists. Though, his eyes stared hard at the care package. Noah could've sworn he licked his lips. The snark dork shook his head in disgust as he looked at the envelope. "Guys, look at this. 'From your uber fan -S'."

Noah pointed at the sticky dandling in its center before opening the envelope. It was a single piece of paper.

"What dat, N-dawg."

"I-Indeed, declassify the in-information."

"Ugh, fine." Noah sighed. "We're too far into the plot for character development."

"Meta jokes?" The drugged Cody gave the snark nerd a knowing look. "Its 2008. That's not a thing for years from now."

"Its an invitation." Noah spat, holding out the paper to the nerdly quartet. He pointed at the first word. "You are invited to... a hotel room."

"C-Correct." Harold stuttered, adjusting his glasses with his free hand as he squinted at the paper. "Its also th-the last room on the ta-tallest floor."

"Is it a secret challenge? A chance to make it back into the show, like they did for Eva and Izzy?" Zeke asked, excitedly. His tone almost pleading. Then he shook his head, defeated. "Nah, don't sound like Chris. This is too wack, even for him."

"Better question is, should we do it?" Noah asked his team of dorks. "We could report all this, get Cody the help he needs, and little miss crazy arrested." Noah paused, each and every last one of them stared back with a blank look. "Or are we all willing to blindly walk into something crazy and dangerous out of sheer boredom with no promise of a prize or reward?"

"What else are we gonna do, go back to the pool?" Zeke asked, all four of the nerds turned their gaze to the closed off outside of the hotel. Their former teammates and cast members were laying in the sun and the water as they did day after day, after day, after day since their elimination- and nothing else.

"Alright nerd animals." Noah shrugged, pointing to the door down the hall. "To the elevator."