Disclamer: I still own nothing except my own insanity…and again, that's debatable.
Harry Potter Fairy Tales: Hansel and Gretel –
Chapter Two: Flipping for Dirndls (def. – 'a woman's dress styled in imitation of Alpine peasant costume, with close-fitting bodice, tight waistband and full skirt'…thank you Canadian Oxford Dictionary!)
Mrs. Weasley: *patting the author's cheek*…wake up honey…come on *to Mr. Weasley* Get my bag dear, I think I have some smelling salts in there…
*groggy* no mummy…I don't want to go to school today…just five more…EWWWW! *woken with smelling salts* What happened? I had this terrible dream that I was trying to write a story and my Hansel and Gretel were in the hospital wing, and that was only the first chapter!
Mrs. Weasley: *nodding* Yes, that's pretty much it so far…
Crap…so what do I do for lead characters? Where's Harry and Hermione…they could pull this off………I think…
Mr. Weasley: Actually, we thought of that…but…
*another pained look (expect a lot of these)* but…?
Mrs. Weasley: Well, we asked Hermione while you were, um, indisposed…and she said no…she's studying for her O.W.Ls and refuses to leave the library…
*rolls eyes* I should have expected that…what about Harry?
Mr. Weasley: He refuses to leave the hospital wing…he's keeping an eye on Ron and Ginny *smiles* I think more Ginny than Ron though *winks at Mrs. Weasley*
Mrs. Weasley: *giggles* Oh Arthur…
*big sigh* Fine, whatever…what about Neville, Lavendar, Seamus, Pavarti, Draco, Pansy…I'll use anyone at this point!
*Mr. and Mrs. Weasley look at each other, then at the author, apprehensively*
Mr. Weasley: …we did find a couple of volunteers…
Who? Get them down here! Let's get this story rolling! Written…whatever…
Mrs. Weasley: *calling through the door* Ok boys, come on in…she's awake now.
*confused* Boys…but it's Hansel and…GOYLE?!? YOU BROUGHT ME CRABBE AND GOYLE?!?
Crabbe: Hey…
Goyle: *grunts*
*staring open mouthed at the farce this story has become…oh wait…it already was*
Mrs. Weasley: Everyone else was, um, busy.
Everyone?
Mr. Weasley: Everyone.
….you sure?
Mr. Weasley: Positive.
…*thinks*
….*thinks some more*
…*still thinking*
…you couldn't just put Ginny on crutches or something? We could work it in…
Mrs. Weasley: Oh, give them a chance…they seemed *looks over at Crabbe, currently pulling the wings off a fly, and Goyle standing in a puddle of his own drool* …eager.
*chokes back a sob* What have I done…what did I do to deserve this?
Crabbe: Where's the buffet? She *points at Mrs. Weasley* said there was going to be a buffet.
Goyle: *grunts*
…help me…please…*closes her eyes and counts s l o w l y to ten* Fine…we'll make this work…somehow…I hope…boys, come here
*Crabbe and Goyle lumber over*
*author smiles as cheerfully as she can muster* So, boys…you are going to be a part of my story…the lead roles actually…you'll be in the limelight for once…
Crabbe: Yeah…he *jerks his thumb at Mr. Weasley* said you're writng 'Hansel and Gretel'.
Goyle: *grunts*
Uh, yes…actually, I wanted to talk to you about that…you do realize that the part of Gretel is supposed to be for a girl, right?
Crabbe: Girl?
Goyle: *grunts questioningly*
Yes, a girl…now, seeing as you two have so graciously volunteered to participate in my narrative, I would love to re-write the story to fit the fact that neither of you is of the female persuasion, but unfortunately our costume department…
Crabbe: …too many big words.
Goyle: *grunts in agreement*
One of you is gonna have to wear a dress.
Goyle: *stunned grunt*
Crabbe: Dress?!?
A dirndl actually…the other wears the lederhosen…
*Both stare at the author as though she's grown a third head*
Sorry boys…you want to be a part of the glory…you gotta dress for it…in a dirndl…I don't care how you chose who does it…you can flip for it for all I care, I just want to get this story underway, and quick!
*Crabbe, still stunned at the fact that one of them has to wear a dress, and trying to figure out what a dirndl is, fails to notice the flicker of thought cross Goyles face…Goyle grabs Crabbe around the knees and flips him over his shoulder, knocking him out*
Goyle: Where's the costume department?
…………..I need a drink
A/N: Thankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter! And all your future story suggestions are definitely being taken into consideration! Hopefully my creative streak won't peter out too quickly
