Disclamer: I still own nothing except my own insanity…and again, that's debatable

Disclamer: I still own nothing except my own insanity…and again, that's debatable. J

Harry Potter Fairy Tales: Hansel and Gretel –

Chapter Two: Flipping for Dirndls (def. – 'a woman's dress styled in imitation of Alpine peasant costume, with close-fitting bodice, tight waistband and full skirt'…thank you Canadian Oxford Dictionary!)

Mrs. Weasley: *patting the author's cheek*…wake up honey…come on *to Mr. Weasley* Get my bag dear, I think I have some smelling salts in there…

*groggy* no mummy…I don't want to go to school today…just five more…EWWWW! *woken with smelling salts* What happened? I had this terrible dream that I was trying to write a story and my Hansel and Gretel were in the hospital wing, and that was only the first chapter!

Mrs. Weasley: *nodding* Yes, that's pretty much it so far…

Crap…so what do I do for lead characters? Where's Harry and Hermione…they could pull this off………I think…

Mr. Weasley: Actually, we thought of that…but…

*another pained look (expect a lot of these)* but…?

Mrs. Weasley: Well, we asked Hermione while you were, um, indisposed…and she said no…she's studying for her O.W.Ls and refuses to leave the library…

*rolls eyes* I should have expected that…what about Harry?

Mr. Weasley: He refuses to leave the hospital wing…he's keeping an eye on Ron and Ginny *smiles* I think more Ginny than Ron though *winks at Mrs. Weasley*

Mrs. Weasley: *giggles* Oh Arthur…

*big sigh* Fine, whatever…what about Neville, Lavendar, Seamus, Pavarti, Draco, Pansy…I'll use anyone at this point!

*Mr. and Mrs. Weasley look at each other, then at the author, apprehensively*

Mr. Weasley: …we did find a couple of volunteers…

Who? Get them down here! Let's get this story rolling! Written…whatever…

Mrs. Weasley: *calling through the door* Ok boys, come on in…she's awake now.

*confused* Boys…but it's Hansel and…GOYLE?!? YOU BROUGHT ME CRABBE AND GOYLE?!?

Crabbe: Hey…

Goyle: *grunts*

*staring open mouthed at the farce this story has become…oh wait…it already was*

Mrs. Weasley: Everyone else was, um, busy.

Everyone?

Mr. Weasley: Everyone.

….you sure?

Mr. Weasley: Positive.

…*thinks*

….*thinks some more*

…*still thinking*

…you couldn't just put Ginny on crutches or something? We could work it in…

Mrs. Weasley: Oh, give them a chance…they seemed *looks over at Crabbe, currently pulling the wings off a fly, and Goyle standing in a puddle of his own drool* …eager.

*chokes back a sob* What have I done…what did I do to deserve this?

Crabbe: Where's the buffet? She *points at Mrs. Weasley* said there was going to be a buffet.

Goyle: *grunts*

…help me…please…*closes her eyes and counts s l o w l y to ten* Fine…we'll make this work…somehow…I hope…boys, come here

*Crabbe and Goyle lumber over*

*author smiles as cheerfully as she can muster* So, boys…you are going to be a part of my story…the lead roles actually…you'll be in the limelight for once…

Crabbe: Yeah…he *jerks his thumb at Mr. Weasley* said you're writng 'Hansel and Gretel'.

Goyle: *grunts*

Uh, yes…actually, I wanted to talk to you about that…you do realize that the part of Gretel is supposed to be for a girl, right?

Crabbe: Girl?

Goyle: *grunts questioningly*

Yes, a girl…now, seeing as you two have so graciously volunteered to participate in my narrative, I would love to re-write the story to fit the fact that neither of you is of the female persuasion, but unfortunately our costume department…

Crabbe: …too many big words.

Goyle: *grunts in agreement*

One of you is gonna have to wear a dress.

Goyle: *stunned grunt*

Crabbe: Dress?!?

A dirndl actually…the other wears the lederhosen…

*Both stare at the author as though she's grown a third head*

Sorry boys…you want to be a part of the glory…you gotta dress for it…in a dirndl…I don't care how you chose who does it…you can flip for it for all I care, I just want to get this story underway, and quick!

*Crabbe, still stunned at the fact that one of them has to wear a dress, and trying to figure out what a dirndl is, fails to notice the flicker of thought cross Goyles face…Goyle grabs Crabbe around the knees and flips him over his shoulder, knocking him out*

Goyle: Where's the costume department?

…………..I need a drink

A/N: Thankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter! And all your future story suggestions are definitely being taken into consideration! Hopefully my creative streak won't peter out too quickly J …and we will get to the story…eventually…well, as soon as Crabbe wakes up and we get him into that dirndl *teehee* Remember to R/R!