what it wasn't
Authors notes: this is my first fic...I won't ask you
to go easy, but be honest. May at some points contain
shonen-ai swearing and the like. but then what
doesn't? Anyhow, this is supposed to be a kensuke
fic((supposed to be..=P))
chapter one - into the darkness
I've always been lonely. Even before Sam passed away or
I became the very thing I hated the most. The thing I
My foolish young self had vowed never to be no matter
how hard it got. Ha. The Kaiser was who I really am. .
.now I'm just afraid of becoming him again. All of the
things passed between the digiworld and I would
begrudge me into my future. After all that, I simply
couldn't be allowed to live with it any longer. No, I
didn't kill myself. I never will. I would only cause my
family and the few friends I have pain. More pain. i
died on the inside. It doesn't show. But I'm gone. How
far gone you ask? Far enough to inflict physical pain
upon myself. One day, I thought of all that I had
done too rapidly, too soon. I saw the bright green scissors on my
table to the right of my math book. I couldn't take it
anymore. all of the yelling
and hatred directed towards me. and I was a coward and
couldn't handle it. I started to rub the scissors
rapidly over my arm. But it wasn't enough for evil old
crazy
Kaiser. I had to cut myself along my arm again and
again until I saw what I had done and lay on my hard
cold floor, practically paralyzed from all of my
crazed behavior. I could see the blood and it scared
me. I immediately ran to bathroom and washed away all
of the dark red blood until my arm was clean. All I
have to do
was wear long sleeved shirts for about a week and no
one would know. but the guilt wasn't gone. it had been
made worse by my self abuse. Just cover up the blood
on the carpet with a blue rug. no one would know. one
one would ever know the secret pain of the ex-Kaiser.
but me knowing was enough to drive myself even madder
than I had already become. I thought nothing could
ever save me. I was gone. All of the digi-destined
loathed me still. But that I could not fault them for.
I deserved whatever I got.
Until one day, along came a boy named Daisuke. . .
chapter two - tea with Daisuke coming soon :)
Authors notes: this is my first fic...I won't ask you
to go easy, but be honest. May at some points contain
shonen-ai swearing and the like. but then what
doesn't? Anyhow, this is supposed to be a kensuke
fic((supposed to be..=P))
chapter one - into the darkness
I've always been lonely. Even before Sam passed away or
I became the very thing I hated the most. The thing I
My foolish young self had vowed never to be no matter
how hard it got. Ha. The Kaiser was who I really am. .
.now I'm just afraid of becoming him again. All of the
things passed between the digiworld and I would
begrudge me into my future. After all that, I simply
couldn't be allowed to live with it any longer. No, I
didn't kill myself. I never will. I would only cause my
family and the few friends I have pain. More pain. i
died on the inside. It doesn't show. But I'm gone. How
far gone you ask? Far enough to inflict physical pain
upon myself. One day, I thought of all that I had
done too rapidly, too soon. I saw the bright green scissors on my
table to the right of my math book. I couldn't take it
anymore. all of the yelling
and hatred directed towards me. and I was a coward and
couldn't handle it. I started to rub the scissors
rapidly over my arm. But it wasn't enough for evil old
crazy
Kaiser. I had to cut myself along my arm again and
again until I saw what I had done and lay on my hard
cold floor, practically paralyzed from all of my
crazed behavior. I could see the blood and it scared
me. I immediately ran to bathroom and washed away all
of the dark red blood until my arm was clean. All I
have to do
was wear long sleeved shirts for about a week and no
one would know. but the guilt wasn't gone. it had been
made worse by my self abuse. Just cover up the blood
on the carpet with a blue rug. no one would know. one
one would ever know the secret pain of the ex-Kaiser.
but me knowing was enough to drive myself even madder
than I had already become. I thought nothing could
ever save me. I was gone. All of the digi-destined
loathed me still. But that I could not fault them for.
I deserved whatever I got.
Until one day, along came a boy named Daisuke. . .
chapter two - tea with Daisuke coming soon :)
