Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 11

Author: Christy Anderson

You can contact me at kittyunlimited@go.com.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount minus Ensign Christy Anderson, Tre'kent, and a few selected insignificant characters.

And finally, after two months, I have reached the end. I am not sure if this is final; I may right one more sequel to make the set complete. But until then, I think this is a good place to end this. I appreciate your patience, it must have been trying and I thank those that have hung in with me there even after that major plot twist. That is really where I planned to go, although it took me a while to establish some of those facts. Always, Christy-- God bless

Child of Night (Kind der Nacht): Part 11

As I stepped out of the turbolift, the Bridge fell silent. Tom offered a supporting pat on the shoulder as he less-than-gently shoved me out and closed the doors. "Mess Hall," I could hear him command as the turbolift began to whirr away. Chakotay, from the commanding chair of the bridge, stood up and turned around.

"Commander," I acknowledged dazedly.

"Ensign," he answered. He crossed the Bridge without a word, and hit the holochimes on the door to the Captain's Ready Room. The doors swished open, and Chakotay entered quickly. Recovering from my trance, I walked over to the doors, and stood outside patiently, waiting to be admitted. Within five minutes, Chakotay came out and gave me the standard nod to signal that it was okay to enter. "Ensign," he said before he turned away, "I am sorry for what happened." With that said, he crossed the Bridge again to his command chair and slid in as silently as he had left.

"Come in," I heard the Captain call. Ignoring Chakotay's strange behavior, I entered Captain Janeway's Ready Room determined not to cry.

The Captain sat at her round desk, a mound of ship's status reports surrounding her. She had her hair pulled up in its usual bun, now slightly falling apart. On the table to the left of the room, there was a bowl of unfinished vegetable bouillon.

"Christy," she called warmly. "How are feeling?"

I forced a smile and looked her in the eye, remembering my last psychotic episode in Sickbay. "Well," I lied.

A strange expression spread over her face, but it was quickly wiped away. She did not believe me, I realized. However, the Captain deserted the subject and got straight to business.

"I have some good news," she began in her normal professional way, "and some bad. Let's start off with the worst of it." Hastily, she turned to the right, and her hands shoved a pile of data PADDS to the end of the desk and picked out a large one on the opposite side. Swiveling around in her chair, she looked back up to me with troubled eyes as she took a deep breath. "I've decided to close Astrometrics," she announced decidedly.

The color in my face visibly drained at the news. "Why?" I squeaked.

The Captain looked grim. "Tuvok has determined that it is not increasing the efficiency of the forward scans. Stellar Cartography and Operations both work just as well, yet Astrometrics is draining twice the power as Stellar Cartography and Ops combined. It is becoming a drain on a constantly shortened power supply- there is simply not enough power to go around." Looking back at me, she could sense that I was still confused. Drawing in a deep breath she sighed and began to explain things slowly as she would to a small child, "Astrometrics was designed to track ships and spatial anomalies, Christy, not for Delta Quadrant life."

I gulped, thinking of the shifts that I worked there every week. "What are you going to do with it?"

The Captain rolled her shoulders back and sighed. "I was going to have Engineering disassemble it and use the equipment for spare parts. The room could be used as storage space."

"Storage Space!" I shrieked.

The Captain raised her eyebrows. "Is there a problem, ensign?" she asked. "I knew Harry might act a little volatile, he gets so attached to these things, but I never expected this from you."

Remembering the lack of credibility for my sanity at the moment, I pasted on another smile. "No, Captain," I answered, "It's just that Astrometrics could be improved. I know it was still in the developing stages when we left Utopia Planetia, we still have the original designs and blueprints in our database, but there may be Delta Quadrant technology that could improve its performance, redesign it for more intensive scans. We could shut it down, to cut the drain on power, but before you disassemble it, I think that you should remember that it could be a help to us someday." Every tone of my voice was saturated with pleading, but I was not about to tell her that Astrometrics had sentimental value to me as I remembered the first day that I had spent there with Tre'kent.

Sitting thoughtfully at her desk, the Captain nodded her head after a few minutes of silent pondering. "That is a sound plan, Ensign, and it shows good ingenuity. There might very well be alien technology that could make Astrometrics quite the advantage to us. I'll make a note of it and propose the plan to Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Tuvok. Now, that only leaves reassigning the six shifts you worked there every week. I was thinking about giving them to Stellar Cartography since I took five shifts from them before for your bridge shifts, but I want your input," she said, looking up at me expectantly.

I gulped. Six more shifts in Stellar Cartography? I cringed, thinking of the horrors. Deck 11 was cramped, and bleak. Already, I had difficulty looking forward to the two shifts I worked each week- to have eight was like spending days at a time with the Doctor. "Am I sensing a problem, Ensign?" she asked, oblivious to the obvious dislike held by the crew for those shifts.

"I will come right out and say it, Captain, but I feel that my services could be more efficiently used somewhere else," I explained.

The Captain raised her eyebrows higher. "Go on…" she said with amusement.

"I do not feel as if I am being properly utilized in Stellar Cartography. Recording scans to the ships database and charting unknown terrain can become…" I paused, looking up at her, searching for the right word, "schrecklich… loathsome," I said at last.

"Oh…" she reflected, wincing at the German. "What wouldn't be some 'loathsome', Ensign?" she asked, a mischievous grin playing on her face.

"What about the Science Lab?" I asked.

The Captain raised her eyebrows. "You already work seven shifts there… I'm afraid I won't sign you up for thirteen." The Captain's smile grew larger. "If I allowed you to have your way, you would be working there twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."

"What about the Bridge?" I asked, changing tactics. "You gave Harry all bridge shifts."

The Captain shook her head. "Harry worked only three shifts in Astrometrics and he is the Chief Operations Officer. I don't need an extra hand at the science station for all of the Bridge shifts. At most, I can give you one more."

I gave a half smile, "I'll take it," I said determinedly.

"Now how about seven shifts in Stellar Cartography?"

"What about the Hydroponics Bay?" I asked quickly, ignoring the Captains last comment. Grimly the Captain shook her head. "Repair crews? Mess Hall?" The Captain shook her head again. "Sickbay?" I asked out of desperation.

Now the Captain did a double take. "Ensign," she said with surprise, but she still shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Between Kes, and whatever shifts Tom does work, the Doctor doesn't seem to need much help. As you know, security teams train in emergency first aid. We don't need anyone else in the medical field. So what about Stellar Cartography?"

With time pressing I explored my options, and without fail, one came to mind. "What about Engineering?" I said, crossing my fingers that B'Elanna had found the time to bring the matter up to the Captain.

The self-control over the Captain's face fell, her smile turned to a placid frown. "What did B'Elanna say to you about Engineering?" she accused.

"She offered me a position on her Engineering staff when we were on the mission. She said that she would talk to you about it."

Sensing that I had meant no harm, the Captain shook her head for a final time. "She did," Captain Janeway snapped. "And the answer is no. You have had no formal training, no years at the Academy, no knowledge of Starfleet safety parameters- and I am going to risk the safety of this crew to allow you to run the warp core?"

"Captain," I interrupted, "I hardly believe that B'Elanna would let me even touch the core until she was certain that I could do it."

The Captain looked up from her desk. "The answer is no."

"But Captain, it would be a chance to learn something new. I already have the scientific knowledge of how the warp core works, the warp theory, the reaction of chemicals, elements, and antimatter…"

"The matter is closed, Ensign," the Captain reiterated, a warning note in her voice.

"Captain," I protested insolently. "Let me try. I can report to Stellar Cartography as often as I am needed, but Captain, you have to let me try."

As the words came out of my mouth, something changed on her face, a change that seemed unwarranted. "All right," she resigned. "You may inform Lieutenant Torres that she has won her game. I will assign all five shifts to Engineering, Alpha shift."

Instantly I gagged. "Alpha shift?" I squeaked.

The Captain gave me a blank stare. "Those were Lieutenant Torres' exact words this morning."

"But only the best of her staff work on Alpha shift…"

"And they are the best people to learn from, Christy," the Captain replied, setting the PADD in her hands aside. Wetting her lips, the Captain reached for a second PADD. "Now to a different matter…" her voice trailed off. "Ensign, Lieutenant Tuvok came in here two hours ago and reported that the fifth repair team this month had been dispatched by Lieutenant Torres. But instead of her quarters or Main Engineering, the team was dispatched to Deck Three, Section Beta 4, Room 45- quarters issued to a certain Ensign Christy Anderson."

My face paled. "It was an accident, Captain…" I stammered.

The Captain continued on, overlooking my apology. "A large dent to the interior of the front wall, visible to the outside of the quarters in the corridor; 8 inches long, and 4 inches in diameter, 6 inches deep…" she looked up at me and raised her eyebrows as high as they would go. "Impressive dent. Tuvok calculated that you impaired structural integrity by 0.000036%."

I gulped, unable to read the Captain's feelings on the matter. "I assume full responsibility for the matter," I heard myself say.

"Any reasons?" she continued to probe.

"No," I answered swiftly, knowing that excuses would not get me anywhere.

"An awful example to set, Lieutenant."

I remained frozen and rooted to the spot; suddenly it was hard to breathe, just like Tom had described to me once. I looked into her eyes to see if she was joking. "It's Ensign, Captain," I gently reminded her, thinking that she had forgotten my title for an instant.

The Captain smiled. "No, it's Lieutenant Anderson. I made an official entry into the logs. You've just been promoted. Congratulations, Christy!"

My eyes were still glued wide open, and words were escaping my grasp. "Thank you, Captain," I managed at last as she came up to me with a new pip in her hand. I turned my head as she pinned it on the collar of my uniform, her eyes dancing with pride.

"Your father would be proud," the Captain consoled rapidly, smiling as she backed away. "I do not want you to think that I am giving this to you out of pity, Christy. You have earned this." She sighed as a faraway look crossed her face. "When I was first promoted, it was a week after my father and my fiancé had died. This is a similar situation. Needless to say, I was heartbroken, and I stood in that stuffy room being promoted. Did I deserve it after I had let them died? Couldn't there have been something that would have saved them? I wanted to ask my commanding officer those exact things on that day, but I never worked up the courage to and I spent the next three years trying to answer those exact questions..." her voice trailed off.

"And did you, Captain? Answer them, I mean?" I suddenly interjected.

Her eyes snapped back to full alert. "Eventually," she said softly. "Eventually..."

I smiled. "You did, Captain... you deserved to be here, to guide us, to be our Captain... If anyone, it was you..." I started inarticulately.

She looked up from the PADD unaware. "I have eight letters of recommendation here that you have accumulated since we've been here in the Delta Quadrant. The authors vary... Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Ensign Dresden, Lieutenant Stanfield, Lieutenant Gebhart, Lieutenant Roberts, and myself... Tom and B'Elanna turned theirs in four days ago. It seems you made quite the impression as the head of this mission. B'Elanna wrote about the antigravity technology that you developed on the shuttle. She reports that it can be adapted and put into all of the shuttlecraft and eventually Voyager as a safety precaution against wormholes. She also say that your 'morning mission launch program' can be developed into a standard 'politically correct' program designed to serve other commanders of future away missions…" The Captain chuckled. "I have to admit, I looked at that program myself, ingenious, if not hilarious… although Tom claims that you, oh what was the phrase, 'blew out his eardrums'?"

I nodded as I laughed. "It was not something that I planned for future use. It was created to keep my jitters in place, although I am sure that if you want, it can be converted…"

"Of course, of course, as soon as you can…" she tapped her fingers nervously on her desk. "The next two letters made me nervous. Lieutenant Stanfield praised the creation of a certain macro program you invented for the crewmen in Stellar Cartography. He says it cuts down the time to map the quadrant in half, and that you are not required to watch the mapping process quite as much. He apologizes that he failed to show the program to me earlier and have it officially approved," she speculated, shaking her head. "He succeeded in including it in his recommendation this time. I sent the program to Tuvok for analysis. He says the results are promising. And then we have Lieutenant Gebhart, who confesses that he leaves you in charge of the Science Lab, even though you are not the senior officer there…" She looked up at me expectantly. "Any more surprises, Lieutenant?"

I gulped, not knowing what others had admitted to in their letters to the Captain. The Captain inhaled a deep breath. "Well, I have a letter from Ensign Kim and Ensign Dresden commending your personal examples, your gift of self, your willingness to help others, and your dependability and reliability. Massive letters, considering that Ensigns are not allowed to write letters of commendation for fellow Starfleet crewmembers unless directly asked to do so," she informed me matter-of-factly. "But that changes- now," she continued, "There is always room for slight improvement here in the Delta Quadrant." Her tone of voice was daring, I had never seen her act so compassionate and carefree. For these brief moments she walked through her Ready Room without her extra burden, and with a wide smile that so frequently disappeared. "The last two letters," she said as she began to pace back and forth, "I hope you will find interesting. Lieutenant Roberts, who worked in Astrometrics for two shifts, confirms that you are an outstanding member of this crew and a fine addition that would be missed. He says that you work well with the group, that you accomplish goals more than he can ever do when he is actually left in charge of Astrometrics. He writes, 'Captain, out of all the crewmen on board, I believe that this young ensign, with her natural dedication and hard work, has proven herself worthy of the uniform that she wears and deserves a promotion to Lieutenant. One day she will make a fine captain.'"

Sighing for dramatic effect, she rolled her shoulders and passed off the PADD to her other hand. "The last one," she named slowly, "by your Captain," she added, "commends you for succeeding in your mission, and firmly, but carefully assisting your Captain in making the best decision for the crew, not something I hope you make a habit of, but if it ever deems necessary again…" She put down the PADD on her desk and glanced up at me, still standing at attention in the same place.

My head was swimming with a flood of thoughts. I recalled the Captain's threat of a trip to the brig if I had ever challenged her authority again, and here she was bestowing her permission on such future actions. Her words on the mission, though, stuck in my head and rang clear again. "Success of the mission?" I asked perplexedly.

Her face grew warm. "We gathered sixty gigaquads of sensor information from the shuttle's database. You made first contact with a hostile species, the Briikortian, and managed to download their entire database. We know everything about them in case we ever encounter them again. I would call that a success."

"In a strange sense," I muttered before I could stop myself.

The Captain's face made a wry expression, but she chose to say nothing. "Neelix wants to hold a reception in the holodeck tonight in honor of your promotion."

"Tonight?" I asked more politely.

She nodded. "It starts at 20:00 hours, and the wear is casual. The crew has been informed," she confessed as she smiled suspiciously, " We told them before you woke up. Neelix has been planning this for days, so please show up. I had the Doctor clear you for this social gathering, but you cannot start duty shifts for a week."

My face fell. "I was hoping to get back to work tomorrow, Captain."

"Absolutely out of the question," she informed me swiftly. "This time off will give you a chance to come to terms with your situation. It's a life changing revelation, and you need time to heal and reflect. You can seize this opportunity to read through the data PADDS in your quarters and write your official report. It may not seem like much to do, but I know how difficult and painful you are going to find this experience to be…" her voice trailed off. "You are dismissed, Lieutenant."

In a stupor, I twirled around and staggered out of her Ready Room, spilling onto the Bridge. Feeling ridiculous, I stepped into the turbolift and shut the doors, pondering the options. "Sickbay," I commanded without a second thought. I sauntered down the corridor and into the brightly lit room. The Doctor shimmered into view.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," he intoned.

"There is none," I snapped swiftly to cut him off. "I came to apologize for my behavior earlier today."

The Doctor shook his head and rolled his eyes impatiently. "There is no need to apologize. I am a hologram. I have no feelings to hurt. Besides an apology will not get you to work anytime faster. A week, Lieutenant, that's what I told the Captain."

I did a double take. "How did you know?" I asked curiously.

The Doctor rolled his eyes again. "Lieutenant? There is an extra pip on your collar, and I overheard the Captain and the Commander discussing it a few days ago," he paused. "Now if that was all?"

I shook my head. "No," I replied hurriedly. "No, an apology is necessary. I had no need to yell at you, I should have been more considerate. I am very sorry for my irrational actions."

The Doctor sighed. "Apology accepted. Now if that is all?"

I wet my lips nervously and shook my head again. "No," I began falteringly, "I came to inquire about… the… um… about the… the… counseling."

The Doctor looked surprised. "Oh," he speculated. He dropped the hyposprays that he had picked up off the medical tray and turned to me. "Lieutenant, this project was called 'Child of Night', a German subtitle that was given to the book Frankenstein in the late 22nd century. If you are not familiar with the book, I would be happy to give you a summary. In short, for those of us who choose to remain ignorant and blind, Dr. Gibralnher fancied you his medical creation, which he rescued. Your unique situation was caused by a freak accident as an unborn child, and he exploited it for thirteen years, giving you drugs to block the specific memory engrams related to those events. You are eighteen years old, and you have been separated from your father for over a year, I have reconstructed your memory pathways, and you are about to begin experiencing flashbacks from these times. This experience will be more than painful and traumatic- it could be psychologically impairing-" he broke off and reduced the hyperactivity of his subroutines, "counseling is stressfully advised, but you have to be sure that this is what you want."

I backed up two steps as the hot words came out of his mouth. I knew everything that he was saying, all of it was true, and it hurt deeply like a fatal wound. "I came to see that if I ever… needed a session… that I could… if you are still… if the medical option is still… if you would…"

"Lieutenant Torres to Lieutenant Anderson," my Comm badge erupted.

I let out a breath of relief. "Anderson here," I responded.

"Please report to Engineering."

I tapped my Comm badge. "On my way." And without any extra words I left Sickbay, the Doctor, and the hurt behind.

Coming in through the doors of Main Engineering, B'Elanna was buzzing around busily, Warp Core Diagnostics in full swing. The moment the doors swished shut, she looked up, and when she saw me, she put down the PADD in hand instantaneously.

"Congratulations," she said happily.

I smiled at her cheerfulness. "Thank you," I replied, "but how did you know?"

"You forget that I had the 18:00 hours appointment with the Captain in her Ready Room, she told me that was what she was going to do. I've known for almost two weeks now, it's about time…"

"Well, it looks like you have other congratulations to offer- the Captain approved 5 Alpha sifts in Engineering."

B'Elanna smiled coyly. "I knew she would," she divulged as she grabbed a PADD from a nearby console. With the touch of a button, the screen lit up brightly. Her gaze went back to my face as she handed it out. "Your first assignment…"

Slowly I reached out and took the PADD. Hurriedly I read through the first few words with a great sense of exhilaration. "Antigravity?" I asked enthusiastically.

Pushing her brown hair back behind her ear, she gave her standard nod. "It was your idea…" her voice trailed off with its sentimentality and she straightened her posture, suddenly professional. "I have assigned you to the group that I am sparing for this project. I have the idea preliminarily approved, and the plan is to design and install an antigravity system in all of the shuttlecraft, and eventually in Voyager. You are in charge of the group while the project is still in design. Utilize your staff, I have assigned some of the best that I have in Engineering. They all work well together. I have assigned Lieutenant Carey as your second-in-command; he will take over as soon as the project hits installation. You can take this time to observe and learn…" B'Elanna cut off and looked around me. "In fact there he is now. Since the Doctor will not let you work for a week, you can employ this time to talk to him now. I have already briefed him on all of the aspects of the project." In a graceful, but hasty movement, she sidestepped me. "Lieutenant Carey," she addressed, "Take a break and brief Lieutenant Anderson further on the Antigravity Project." With a resolute nod she turned away and seized a toolbox. "I have some more work to be done. Ensign Cobey, finish those diagnostics on the warp nacelles; I need them now."

Dodging different ensigns, B'Elanna made her way to the lift and left for the upper deck of Engineering. Lieutenant Carey came over, a congenial smile on his face. "Good day, Lieutenant," he greeted, "Congratulations on your promotion."

"Thank you," I managed to mutter nervously, "So where do we start?"

"Meetings, ideas, designs, deadlines, prototypes, tests… The beginning?" he joked.

On a short fuse, I glared. "When do we meet? Is there a fixed time at the moment?"

"Not that I am aware of," he answered honestly. "If you want…"

An explosive clatter rang from the back of the upper deck of Engineering. Profane curses began to follow. "Torres to Paris. Report to the upper deck of Engineering immediately," a voice yelled. "Christy!!"

Without hesitation, I sprang up the ladder. B'Elanna was kneeling at the far end of the deck, examining a removed panel from a console. "I don't believe it…" she whispered as she shook her pale face veraciously. As I approached her, she handed the lightweight panel out to me, her hands were shaking and white around the knuckles, and gulped; the meaning was tacit.

With eyes as sharp as hawk's, I scrutinized the panel- top to bottom, left to right. What captured my glance, in the bottom right hand corner, was the most frightening words that I had ever read in my life, or that I had ever written: "To seek out new worlds, to investigate new cultures, to explore the expanse of space, to be led by the stars in search of home— the deep conviction of true Voyagers. L.T.P., L.B.T., L.C.A."

I began to sweat nervously, and my heart quickened, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. "The quote… the mission… the probe… how?" I began to shake my head. "It was E.C.A.," I croaked. "Ensign Christy Anderson- how can it be L.C.A.?"

B'Elanna only stared at me. "I think that is the worst of our problems," she said guardedly. At that moment Tom burst through the doors of Engineering, panting heavily.

"What is it?" he inquired. "You sounded panicked."

Wordlessly, B'Elanna held the panel out to him. His eyes widened as he saw the quote; foolishly he stood there, paralyzed. "What have we done?" he stammered, unaware that crewmen were beginning to stare.

B'Elanna pursed her lips together stubbornly. "I don't know, but I am going to find out." With one transient peek around the room, she began to bark out orders. "Ensign Daniels and Ensign Tabor, I want you to search Voyager's database for this inscription. No questions- just get to work, now." She ventured forth to the railing and called down with authority. "Attention. Everyone, who is not working on Engineering Diagnostics, assemble into groups of two. I want you to remove every single panel on this ship. Note any inscription you find on the back, and count how many times you find it. Cover this ship from stem to stern, and send in your report as soon as you are finished. Lieutenant Parkins and Lieutenant Baker, you are in charge of organizing this. Begin working, I expect a report within the hour."

Heaving a sigh, she turned around and sank back against the wall. Tom walked over to her, speaking softly. Pushing them out of my mind, I walked over to check out the ensigns' progress. "B'Elanna," I called, motioning for the ensigns to freeze the screen. "Come look at this." As she came over, I stepped aside for her to see the screen on the console without obstruction. "Message found in the Beta quadrant on stardate 29135.684… Adopted as the motto on stardate 30005.01… unanimously believed to be a warning from the future, cautioning to always keep their motives pure and focused…"

"Heavens…" Tom whispered.

"What are we going to do?" I whispered to B'Elanna.

"Lieutenant," Ensign Tabor called from her station. "Reports are coming in… the inscription count of the one you found in this panel of Engineering is in 50 panels in the Mess Hall, 75 panels on the Bridge, 30 panels in Cargo Bay 2, and 53 so far in Sickbay…"

"Captain to Lieutenant Torres," a voice over the Comm interrupted.

"Torres here, Captain," B'Elanna responded.

"Some crewmen from Engineering were here and removed and replaced all of the panels on the Bridge- do you have an explanation?"

B'Elanna gulped. "I might Captain, but it's a long one…"

"I would love to hear it, Lieutenant, in my Ready Room. Report to the Bridge at once," the voice commanded.

Tom shook his head, furrowed in thought. "In a sense," he whispered nervously, "we're responsible for what Starfleet is today… keeping motives pure, exploring space… what other words could describe Starfleet better?"

"A temporal paradox," I agreed morbidly.

"How can we tell the Captain that we made her what she was?" Tom continued.

B'Elanna shook her head. "I'm going to the Bridge- I'll tell the Captain…"

Tom cut her off. "I'm going with you," he demanded. She nodded passively, scenes from the mission still fresh in her mind.

"Why don't you get some rest, Christy, before tonight? The Captain will call you up if she needs you," she suggested gently as the three of us exited Main Engineering.

I nodded. "I'll see you tonight," I promised as I turned into another corridor, but not before seeing the bizarre smile on her face when she whacked Tom after he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Deck 7," I commanded, stepping into the turbolift. Jerking to a halt, I was spilled out into another hallway, and walked through the branching corridors with ease that only came with the familiarity of age. Stopping at one door in particular, I skipped ringing the holochimes and punched in the four number entrance code. Silently the doors hissed open and I stepped into the dark room, noticing the black shadow of a person in the far corner of the room. Noiselessly I crept forward, unnoticeably, certain that the figure was unconscious of my presence in the room. More and more, I could see the enchanting candlelight, the rise and pattern of incense, floral, and candle arrangements, and a picture of a homely middle-aged woman, motherly, lying on the top of the altar. The familiar young man knelt on the floor, his head bowed silently in prayer, meditative, tranquil, and calm. Not wishing to disturb the scene. I slid to my knees beside him, offering up a prayer.

The figure jumped back, startled. "I didn't hear you come in," he stammered when he recognized my face.

I came to apologize, I transmitted.

Tre'kent smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. The apology is unwarranted… you have done nothing wrong.

At least I can lose my head with you-- but Tre'kent I pulled away be…

"No," he warned verbally as he pulled me in closer. "You do not have to apologize. I understand that you are going through a difficult time… losing your cool is a way of dealing with the plethora of emotional anguish… I should know because I dealt with the reaction of my parents in the same way. Your circumstances are traumatic, and I know you feel hurt and betrayed, and you are wondering if you can ever trust anyone again."

I buried my face in his chest and cried. "I… I knew you'd understand…" I spluttered.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me away to get a better look at me. "Whoa!" he exclaimed out of the blue. "Is that a new pip, Lieutenant?" he teased. "Congratulations!"

I burst out in laughter, and a carefree smile played upon my lips.

Do it again, he transmitted.

What? I asked him clumsily.

"Smile," he answered verbally. "That was the happiest that I have seen you in a very long time."

Upon request, I smiled again, feeling very ridiculous. Tre'kent sighed. "You're beautiful," he whispered. Shaking his head, he cleared his mind and stared me in the eyes. "I have a confession…" he began.

Oh, I transmitted over the telepathic link.

He smiled lovingly. "When I first met you, it was the night of the banquet… I came in late with Dr. Migfay. You introduced yourself to me when we were seated, and you smiled. It was the most charming smile that anyone had bestowed upon me…" I began to giggle at his silliness. "Don't laugh," he reprimanded, "You were so innocent- not corrupted by hate or prejudice- you were not like the people that lived on my planet. You did not make accusations or judgements. You were yourself, with a beautiful smile that lit up the room and temporarily banished your burdens far away, and the burdens of others around you." He paused and shook his head. "You know, Christy, sometimes I think he knew…"

"Who knew what?" I inquired.

Tre'kent pulled me closer. "Dr. Migfay, the future," he responded. "That night we went back to the house and he said something that I'll never forget. 'What do you think about exploring space, Tre'kent?' I must have answered him something because after opening the door and letting me in, he left to his part of the house, smiled, and said goodbye instead of goodnight. Next thing I know, I'm living on Voyager, with you, exploring space, and I see that blithe smile of yours that first captured me everyday, and I hear myself vowing that I will always make sure that that smile stays upon your face, and that I will defeat all of your inner demons. Crazy?" he asked rhetorically. I found myself shaking my head, but he cupped it up with his hand, and met my gaze. "I vowed and I will, I will live up to my promise to myself…" he spoke slowly, his face painted with compassion, "And we will, we will defeat whatever comes in our paths… together, and the first step is getting through this… together. I promise you, Christy, there is no place in the universe so far removed that I will not be near you to defend you, to stand with you, beside you, behind you."

I felt the tears welling up in the back of my eyes, and my throat was constricting, as the tears began to flow onto his shoulder. For the moment, it was clear, and I knew the extent of forever. Ich weiß… I know.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The scene in the holodeck shimmered, lively music blaring in 'old' Sandrine's. The lights were darkened, and air was heavy. There was a banner in the front of the room that read, "Congratulations, Christy". The pool table had been deleted, the bartender too, and the annoying "puppy dog" that doted on Tom so. The sounds of chatter and of laughter filled the air as people socialized and fraternized for one of the few times they ever got. Crewmen were dancing, some of them in uniform, some of them in dresses and suits, others much more casual. Neelix was bustling around in his apron, serving tables, as well as cooking. I joyously stepped through those doors in a modern-type blue dress, edged with silver and black, a gift from Samantha for this occasion. Neelix, noticing my presence, dropped his tray and began to clap until everyone in the holodeck was applauding and yelling out their heartfelt congratulations. The entire room was cheering for me, and I was lost in the moment of appreciation. It reminded me of how much more life in the Delta Quadrant grew comfortable.

I was frozen, rooted to the spot, and Tom, who had escorted me to the holodeck in case 'I got lost', took the initiative and guided me to the table where the Captain was sitting as the noise began to calm down. "Just relax," he whispered encouragingly. Pulling out my chair silently, he bowed deeply. "It was a pleasure m'lady," he teased as he flitted off, Jenny Delaney at his elbow, "I'll see you later."

The Captain looked confused. "What was that about?"

I grinned. "Nothing," I explained.

She studied my face. "You dressed up for the occasion, Christy," she commented.

"The dress is a gift from Ensign Wildman and Naomi," I replied, noting her dress uniform. "You're in your dress uniform."

"So I am, Lieutenant…" she paused. "B'Elanna told me about the message, and the inscription," she said at last.

I nodded passively. "What's to be done, Captain?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I hate temporal paradoxes…" she commented randomly. "But I do not think that there is much that we can do… for now, we can keep it quiet…" She sighed.

"Of course," I reaffirmed as I nodded. "I apologize for my rash action, I violated the Prime Directive by sending that message through the wormhole."

She shook her head. "It was an epitaph, Lieutenant, that you were hoping we would find if you all died. You almost died. There is no need for apologies or court martial; let us leave it at that…" an evil grin came over her face. "I heard a nasty rumor, today, several in fact, concerning you. I think my favorite had to be one I heard right after I dismissed you from the Ready Room. Jenny Delaney came up to me, awfully frightened and pale, and told me that you had murdered Tre'kent. Come to think of it, I have not seen him since this afternoon."

My face flooded with horror. "What?" I gasped.

"Jenny Delaney told me that you murdered Tre'kent. She said that there was a great deal of yelling and screaming, and Megan said that she heard phasor fire. She almost requested an emergency beam out for him to Sickbay," she laughed.

I examined her face, carefully. "Idle gossip," I said at last.

The Captain chuckled. "There always is on a starship this small, but out of all of my years in Starfleet, I have never heard a more ridiculous rumor..." her voice trailed off and her eyes became misty. "They all look so happy," she vocally mused as she gestured to the crew. I turned my head. "Look at Harry and B'Elanna dancing." She laughed harmoniously. "Who would have thought?"

I followed her gaze in time to see Tom cut in, and dance away with B'Elanna. Catching my gaze, Harry took the initiative and walked over, but the Captain did not notice. "Chakotay's not here…" she mulled absently. "He still must be on the Bridge with Tuvok…"

"Good evening, Captain, Lieutenant," Harry greeted formally.

"Ensign," the Captain acknowledged.

"Good Evening, Harry."

Harry gave me a quick pat on the shoulder. "Congratulations on your promotion."

"Thank you," I returned warmly.

The Captain shook her head. "Loosen up your posture, Ensign, and pull up a chair…"

"Excuse me," a familiar voice interrupted. "But if I may steal this young lady away for the remainder of the night."

The Captain gave an official nod of approval. "By all means," she replied as Harry stepped away to reveal Tre'kent, all clad up in a suit. With an impish smile, he gave a half-bow, and kissed my hand. "May I?" he asked.

Of course, I transmitted. "You can have my seat, Harry," I offered before Tre'kent swept me onto the dance floor. As he twirled me around to the start of a classical selection that Neelix had just put on, I looked deep into his eyes, and gave him my best blank expression. "You're late," I accused gently.

Tre'kent pulled me closer, leading to the four-beat rhythm of the music. I'm not, he transmitted, I was on time to the second.

I gave him his favorite smile. How do you figure? I asked.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek softly. Remember when Dr. Migfay and I walked into the banquet, we were twenty two minutes late. And when I walked into your 18th birthday party, I was twenty two minutes late too. And here, Christy, for your promotion, on Voyager, the time is 20:22 hours, I just walked in, and we are just beginning our first dance of many.

I suddenly stopped dancing to stare intensely at his face, memorizing all of it, and my heart beat quickening. You were an hour and twenty three minutes late, I transmitted trivially, the words could barely escape my thoughts. Now it was Tre'kent's turn to smile, making it harder for me to control the wave of extreme happiness that was overcoming me. Life was wonderful, and it was hard to recall the reason for heated scene in my quarters, or the thoughts of despair and tragedy. He was here to stay, here to protect me forever, and I needed that so much. The tears began to roll down my cheek one after another, until Tre'kent reached up to wipe them away.

I didn't mean to make you cry, he apologized daftly. Christy?

I smiled through the tears. "So lang wie Dich seien Dich hier… As long as you are here."

Tre'kent leaned down impulsively and kissed me, wrapping his arms protectively around my neck; a kiss that I returned readily, to the hoots and hollers and whistles coming from the surrounding crew. My cheeks turned bright red, as Tre'kent, who was just as embarrassed, gracefully began to dance with me again. One, two, three… one, two, three… one, two, three… I was happier then than I had ever been, content to just stay there for an eternity spinning…, and spinning…, and spinning…, and spinning around… until it was just he and I.

Das Ende… The End