www.nevergetoveryou.com[p/?]
Author: Reni (Aya_Fujimiya)
E-mail:Aya_Chan_Fujimiya@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 - R I'm not sure on the exact rating because it will very from time to time
Timeline: After "Forever" Other then that it's completely mine...I have changed the storyline greatly in that we can safely say Glory had kicked it ^_^. And it's probably just after the end of Season 5 rolling on in the summer.
Disclaimer: Buffy and Angel do not belong to me they belong to the man who gave me more hope that Buffy and Angel will end up together in the end...Joss!
Distribution: If you want it take it, but let me know where you are putting it.^_^.
Dedication: To my sis Lissa (Roswelliankitten) who actually gave me the insentive and the idea to write it.

Notes: This has diary entryes for events happening in "The Harvest" "Angel" anywhere in Season 2 after he became Angelus and the ever tear jerking "I Will Remember You".

-9-

Buffy looked on at the scene in confusion. "R-riley what are you doing here?"
"Actually I thought I'd surprise you. When I got here Dawn was on her way out. She was actually heading back to Giles' place." Riley said in response.
"You on leave or something?"
"No...my work is done."
"Oh..." Buffy ran her fingers carelessly through her hair. "You know you can't exactly expect me to be all happy that you are back..."
"I was sort of hoping you would give me another chance." Riley stood from his spot on the couch and moved toward her. Buffy quickly turned on her heals and walked back to her overnight bag.
"I don't have time for this...I have to unpack and..."
"Unpack?" Buffy hunched over and picked up the bag and quickly ran up the stairs. "Buffy!" Riley quickly followed her up the stairs and walked to her room where she was quickly putting her things away. Laying on her bed was her big silver cross which was drapped into the pages of a leather bound book. "Buffy what is up with you?"
"Up with me?" Buffy turned quickly pointing accusingly at him. "Here you leave me to go off into the jungle to fight who knows what and then you come back expecting all to be right as rain? Well I got news for you Buffy don't play like that. I have moved on...All those insecurities you had when you left...no way they are gone...during your little time in the jungle."
Riley just stood there rocking from foot to foot as she vented out all her emotions on him. "Okay sure I was insecure but what did you expect. I was trying to make the relationship work but you were to hung up on that damned vampire!"
Buffy quickly walked up and slapped him right along side of his face. "His name is Angel! You know what you aren't even worth it! You know why? I'll tell you why...better yet I'll show you..." Buffy walked over to her small table and pulled a little blue velvet pouch out of a drawer. Sliding the fabric along the draw strings she turned to face him once again and held her hand out. "Look at this Riley" Turning the bag over she dumped it's contents into her hand where it was revealed a small silver claddagh ring. "I was given this by Angel on my 17th birthday." Buffy slowly slide it upon her left ring finger the heart facing toward her.
"So what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Anger flared in Riley's eyes as he looked at the small ring.
"The ring is called a claddagh, look it up...it will give you something to research." Buffy tossed her hair over her shoulder as she turned. "I think you better go."
Riley turned on his heal and walked to her door not turning around. "I'll be back Buffy..."
"I'm sure you will." Buffy chimed as she want back to putting her things away. Buffy casually flopped onto her bed and opened up Angel's diary.

I actually talked to her today. After all my time of just sitting back in the shadows. It was quite funny actually...Sure I was hoping to talk to her but I wasn't expecting her to come falling from the sky. She was like my blond Angel at that moment...It is definatly gonna be hard for me trying ot keep my feelings hidden from her. Maybe if I just keep up with the cryptic, nothing will ever come of it.
-Angel

Buffy giggled at how wrong that turned out to be...sure at first she was annoyed with his cryptic appearances but in the end that was what drew her to him. Flipping through the pages Buffy read entry after entry.

What was I thinking? The last few days have to have been the best and worst days of my life. For one thing I saved Buffy from The Three...of course I got injured...so she brought me to her place. I should have told her it wasn't serious and took off but she insisted...I wonder if she has any idea how hard it is to say no to her? I couldn't help but chuckle when she thought I read her diary though. It was truly at that moment when I realized there was no stopping these feelings when she side tracked her talking into making me believe I wasn't in her diary. It was then that it happened...we kissed. Up until my true fact came out it was the most exilerating thing I ever felt. Then it was all ruined...it came out...she now knows what I am. Of course with the help of Darla I became her next target. But she couldn't do it...she couldn't kill me...nor could I kill her. It was Darla who got the short end of the stick...literally. Then of course I couldn't stay away and I saw her at the local club...once again the passion between us flared and we kissed...the consequences of our feelings is still burned into my chest.
-Angel

"Buffy?" Dawn walked into the room pulling Buffy's eyes from Angel's diary.
"Yeah Dawn?" Buffy drapped the cross across her page and placed it beside her.
"What you reading?"
"It's...it's Angel's diary..."
"Oh really? Anything good in it?"
"It's basically his emotions poured out on paper about all the times we were together. I've only gotten to the day I found out he was a vampire."
"Ooh can I read some with you?"
I..I don't know..."
"Oh come on Buffy...not like i don't already know the Soap Opera that is your relationship. Besides it will be fun."
"Okay sure" Buffy smiled patting the bed next to her and pulling the book up between them. Together they read the various passages of their courtship up until her birthday...then was when she saw the passage by Angelus...

You know it's really quite funny I am sitting here after reading all these passages I wrote before the illustrious day when I lost my soul and I wonder. If it wasn't for the slayer I wouldn't be where I am today. One of these days I'm really gonna have to thank her. Probably right after I kill one of her friends. Yeah that sounds good...probably that stupid punk kid Xander...that kid has always annoyed me. Has to be her white knight! Doesn't he ever realize, I may be evil but Buffy will never get me out of her head. I was inside her...something he will never be somewhere...he or any other man could only hope to be. It must just kill everyone of them do gooders that something evil has tainted her. I'll have to get roller boy to help me out on this one...have to make him feel...useful, after all. -Angelus

Buffy held the book out from her and looked at the passage. Dawn looked between the book and Buffy and simply shook her head. "Don't listen to it Buffy...you know it wasn't anything."
"I know Dawn...Lets take a break from this for awhile...what do you say?"
"Yeah sure...okay" Buffy draped the cross in the book and left the room, Dawn slowly following behind. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah Angel told me the passage was there...I wasn't exactly expecting wine and roses" Buffy walked into the bathroom shutting the door leaving Dawn standing in the hall.
"Walking back into Buffy's room she opend up Angel's diary and turned to a random entry.

I am going to go crazy. How in the world did I manage to pull it off...I was so sure I would back out. I turned back the day...Oh that day. I still have tears falling from my eyes just thinking of what we had. Up until today this diary has been sitting up on an isolated shelf but I just have to write this down. Buffy was here in LA...of course if you ask anyone they will say she was only here for about 10 minutes. But it wasn't that way at all. Buffy was here a whole day and night.
I won't go over how it happend but I was human. Of course at first I thought i was another loop hole or something but the oracles told me otherwise. After finding out it was permanent the first thing I did was find Buffy...she was on the beach.
Though I was no longer a vampire she still sensed me, the way she always could. When she saw me in the sun walking toward her I could already see the tears forming in her eyes before we kissed. Then...then we went back to my apartment...making love...oh did we make love. The feel of her in my arms again was the best feeling in the whole world. Why did I give it up?! Am I crazy?! Here I had the one thing I ever wanted and I threw it away.
You see I had to get all noble and fight a monster just to prove to myself that I was still worthy of her. I should have listened to Doyle when he told me we should have brought her with us...but you know me. It was when she risked herself to save me that I knew it would never work. So I had the day turned back after hearing that Buffy would die in the battle of armegeddon...I want to help her. Now I am still hearing her words.."How can I go on with my life, knowing what we had...what we could have had?" Her words keep screaming in my head and I don't want them to stop! Now it is only me who remembers that day...I just hope Buffy will one day see this passage or even remember it in a dream. Let her know the love we shared and the passion we felt. We were truly what we always wanted to be.
-Angel

"Buffy!!!!!" Dawn ran out into the hall and pounded on the bathroom door. "Buffy Oh my God you have to read this!!"
"What is it?" Buffy opened the door and had Angel's diary thrust quickly into her hands.
"It's Angel's last passage." Buffy and Dawn walked out and sat on the top of the stairs, while Buffy quickly read through the passage tears immediatly falling from her eyes. "We...we..." Buffy dropped the diary into her lap and started to cry, Dawn quickly wrapping her arms around her. "He didn't...he didn't even tell me..."
"I'm sure he wanted to though Buffy...but even if he did tell you...would you have even believed him?"
"I don't know Dawn...it's just...this is way to much to take in...I mean I have no recollection of this...none at all..."
"Wasn't that the point? The way it was written though he wanted you to know...but it was your words that stopped him from even uttering to you want happend. Just look what he did for you..."
Dawn held Buffy as she held Angels dairy close to her. Both were snapped out of their positions when the phone wrang. Dawn quickly sprinted down the stairs disappearing around the corner. "Buffy it's for you...it's Angel."

***

Well there you go part 9...though I honestly think this is one of my odder chapters because of the diary entries...oh well...hehehe. Stay tuned for part 10