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A GW fan fic: Whom Will You Wed?

By Stargem

Author's notes: Another random bit of silly fluff. Hopefully I made everything rhyme without making anything sound too weird… ^^;;;

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Chibi Duo scampers onto a large, tacky stage and flips up a gigantic signboard that reads:

"Whom Will You Wed?

A pathetic attempt at writing a play by Stargem…"

Chibi-Star, also known as Stargem's muse and wielder of the almighty Mallet-O-Ideas, descends from on high to boot the chibi off-stage in the absence of her namesake. Chibi Heero appears and chases her off-stage by way of tossing explosives set to go off at various times within a five-minute limit. They drag the curtains open before tumbling down the steps backstage, accompanied by an explosion. The stage wobbles, steadies and somehow manages to remain upright.

Quatre, dressed in a princely white and gold outfit is shoved onstage. He looks rather surprised to be there and suddenly speaks:

***

My mother Queen told me one day

Son of mine, you wed today

Fled and past have twenty years

No more should you have marriage fears

***

Prince Quatre tugs self-consciously on the big golden satin bow wound around his torso. He's sitting on a fine white horse with golden ribbons in its mane. His *cough* mother, the queen leans out of a tower window from the palace and calls down to him:

***

Through the forest

Go swiftly, dearest

A lady bred, a lady fine

For you she will be a mate divine

***

Quatre looks rather unhappy. He replies:

***

But mother Queen, I know not she

And well, my love is given to a he!

Childhood friends be he and I

Surely we are not to say goodbye?

***

It's the queen's turn to look unhappy. She says:

***

My son, all princes wed with princesses

It is tradition passed down from forgotten generations

A prince you are, a royal child

Will you not to duty yield?

***

Quatre looks discomfited. He doesn't like the idea of disobeying the wishes of his 'Queen Mother', but neither does he feel happy with being pushed into marriage with a girl he doesn't know. He clears his throat:

***

Beloved Queen Mother most wise

As your son, I must and will apologize

But still I feel that to be to my heart untrue

Is a path I cannot over duty pursue

***

The queen looks rather angry now… She gestures imperiously with a hand and says:

***

It is my wish, by my command

You will ride to our neighbor king's land

His daughter you will marry

Do not think to tarry

***

Somebody dumps Trowa out onstage in a stable boy's outfit. It's hard to tell who's more surprised - the queen, Prince Quatre or Trowa himself. Quatre looks happy though. He opens his mouth:

***

This order I cannot and will not follow

Your threats to me are all too hollow

If to a princess wed as a prince I must

My claim on royal blood I reduce to dust

***

The queen leans farther and farther out the window, the better to yell at her *cough* disobedient son:

***

The Queen's command you have refused

A prince's title you have renounced

Foolish, foolish deeds have you done

All for the sake of a worthless one

***

Chibi Duo, attached to a cord around his waist, is lowered down the stage by a stoic Chibi Heero. They snag a hold of Trowa and dump him on the back of Quatre's horse and disappear upwards. The poor pilots on horseback are looking more than a little confused. Quatre speaks:

***

Worthless he is not, this one I choose

For him I will gladly my life lose

Twenty and more princesses have you

Surely some other prince will wed one or two?

***

The queen looks thoughtful. Quatre's horse decides to do his impression of a rodeo bronco and rears up just in time to be lit beautifully from behind via a powerful spotlight operated by the two chibis from earlier. Then the horse proceeds to run away with his riders hanging on for dear life. Quatre calls back as they careen wildly into the exit, stage left:

***

Farewell and goodbye, my Queen Mother

No longer with me need you bother

My chosen love I intend to wed

Happily together will our life intended be led

***

The queen is already writing a list of princes to be invited to a ball to marry off her daughters. While she is happily occupied, Chibi Duo and Chibi Heero jump down from the rafters, bringing the curtain with them.

~ End? Not quite! ^_^ ~

All is quiet backstage as the chibis do clean up duty. Suddenly, Prince Quatre's runaway horse gallops by, riderless. Chibi Duo blinks and turns to Chibi Heero for enlightenment. Finding none, he investigates only to discover Prince Quatre and stable boy Trowa all tangled up with each other and a rack of costumes. They look both unhappy and happy at the same time. Chibi-Star suddenly appears with a snarling Chibi Heero in tow and tosses him into Chibi Duo, which sends them crashing into another rack, effectively trapping them in various ribbons, knotted up sleeves and hoses. Her work done, the muse flies off on her Mallet-O-Ideas in the same fashion as a witch on a broomstick.

The happy couple and two chibis are left to deal with their situations. Or engage in some creative activities… Which will be left to the readers' imagination *grin*

~ Owari

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May 2000 by Stargem)

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