Chapter 5


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By Neryl
(It's not a good day to kill) (note from Morphea: no kidding???)

Dave and Kerry were facing at each other. Seconds turned into hours. Kerry's look expressed anger mixed with madness and a strange sadistic smile was creeping over her face. Dave started feeling really bad and quite scared. Then he realized that behind Kerry, there were many people: with so many witnesses he would be quiet. At least, that was what he was thinking. He decided to risk the lot ; he charged toward Kerry and rushed out of the lounge. He started running all over the ER and even beyond. (note from Morphea: yeah... to infinity, and beyond!... It's Dave Light-year space ranger! ;-)
"At least we'll be quiet for a while" Kerry thought. But she was still perturbed: Malucci was not wounded, she was sure of it now. But she still didn't know who she had killed.
(that kind of things happen to me all the time, I never remember who I killed)


At the same moment in exam 1, the famous Killer Joe had just entered the room. He started chatting with Nobody (and congratulations for finding this name, you can't imagine how wonderful jokes we can do with it...)(note from Morphea: reader, hang on to your seat, you'll see the joke in a few lines...).

Nobody : The weather is fine today but the price of the banana is higher than yesterday.
FKJ(the Famous Killer Joe) : But the coconut is better with a little sunshade.
Nobody : The cat named Fraggle enjoys nibbling at toes but my uncle has a nice farm. (iyahiyaho) (I must have a problem with farms...)
FKJ : Your uncle's farm is bigger than my aunt's garden.
Nobody : It depends on the season.
FKJ : And on the captain's age.
Nobody : That's ok. Here is the nuclear missile. If someone asks you, we've never met, haven't we?
FKJ : Ok, Mr Nobody.

And Nobody went out of exam 1, leaving the FKJ with a heavy black suitcase that could contain a little nuclear missile. (You know what? I have an idea for the end of the fic)(it would be a shame not to use this missile) (Does anybody really care about the ER building?) (If you want the building to explode, call the 555-940-940, and if you don't want it, call the 555-941-941)

A few seconds later, Mark went back into exam 1 with the psych. He found the famous Killer Joe fighting against the defibrillator. He was so absorbed by his fight that he didn't even realized they had entered the room.
Mark : Peter!
FKJ kept trying to explode the defibrillator punching it. As Mark had met Carter a few minutes before, he had heard about Benton's I-am-a-famous-wrestler thing, so he tried something else:
Mark : Hey Joe!
FKJ dropped his enemy and turned over to face Mark.
Mark : Where's Nobody?
FKJ : I don't know Nobody. I don't know anything. I'm innocent.
Mark : I'd just like you to say to the psych, Mr Himself (this one is for another joke, in a few lines too...), who was there a few minutes ago?
FKJ : Well, ok, I'll tell you, but only if you let me fight with you.
Mark : ok.
FKJ : Nobody.
Mark, to Himself : That's what I told you.
Himself : No. You told me a mad man was there. But he's just said there was nobody. Mark : No, there was someone.
FKJ : Oh no, it wasn't "someone" but Nobody.
(guess who will go to psychiatry...)
Himself to Mark : You seem a bit confused.
FKJ : That's what I told him. He's also convinced I'm a surgeon and that my name is Peter Benton.
Himself : Oh, I've heard of Benton. He's said to be very unpleasant, unlike you. But... wait a minute... You're the famous Killer Joe, aren't you?
FKJ : Yep!
Himself : May I have an autograph, please?
FKJ : No problem. What's your first name?
Himself : JR but if you could write "for Kiki", it's my nickname.............. Oh, thanks, I was pleased to meet you.
FKJ : So was I. It's always a pleasure to meet a fan.
Mark, to Himself, while they were going out of exam 1 : Do you have room in psychiatry?
Himself : Yes, I think so. Why?
Mark : Maybe I should go there some day...


Meanwhile, on the roof, it was spring. Thanks to a spatiotemporal fault, the time was retracting. And there were also some problems with notions of space. The positive effect was that Elizabeth was no longer frozen, because the snow had melt. She had looked the grass growing, the trees budding and the swallows flying. Then she decided to try to pick branches up to build a shelter where she could sleep. She also intended to hunt or to fish in order to have a real meal. More than once, she had thanked her mother for sending her to join the scout movement. She knew how to light a fire and all the main rules to survive in the wild jungle of the ER roof.


And at Romano's...
"OOOOOOOUPS, I did it again... I played with your heart............"
(Note from Morphea: of course he played with a heart, he's a surgeon, duh!)


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By Morphea
(I think I'd better do something with that nuclear missile before Neryl do something really stupid...)(er... who's not going crazy, stuck on the roof, drunk and singing, or running around the ER yet?)

An improvised ring had been built with beds and gurneys in exam 1. A deep voice, coming from nowhere, said:
"The famous Killer Joe versuuuuuuus Mark the Maaaaaaad Doctor!!!"
Mark and Benton were looking into each other's eyes, gauging each other. They were dressed in usual wrestling outfits. A feeble wind was stirring their hair (especially Mark's ;-) .
"I'm gonna punch your head off!" the Famous Killer Joe said.
"Good thing I took my glasses off, then." Mark the Mad Doctor answered to the blurred form in front of him.
They began to turn round each other on the ring, Mark the Mad Doctor trying to find out where the Famous Killer Joe was exactly, and the Famous Killer Joe considering how he would punch Mark the Mad Doctor's head off.
At that very moment, Kerry, who was still trying to find who she had killed, entered the room:
"Hey! What the hell is going on here! Mark, what are you doing?"
"Huh?"
The Famous Killer Joe took that opportunity to throw his fist at Mark the Mad Doctor, but Mark ducked before the fist hit him.
"Peter!" Kerry exclaimed. "Why are you trying to hit Mark!?"
"Because Nobody was there." the Famous Killer Joe answered. "And stop calling me Peter! I'm the Famous Killer Joe, an internationally known wrestler!"
"Whoever you think you are, STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY!!"
"No! He promised we would fight!" the Famous Killer Joe complained.
Mark the Mad Doctor brusquely took the defibrillators and threatened the Famous Killer Joe with them: "HA HAAAAA!!! You stop showing off, now!" In fact, Mark thought he was threatening the Famous Killer Joe, but in reality he wasn't. But it was so hard for him to tell without his glasses...
At last, a crutch hit his head, and Mark the Mad Doctor fell unconscious on the floor. While she was at it, Kerry forged ahead and hit the Famous Killer Joe on the head with her crutch as well.
"Tsss... Stupid doctors..." Kerry finally muttered, looking at her two unconscious coworkers on the floor
. Then, she noticed the heavy black suitcase in a corner of the room. She walked toward it and opened it.


Meanwhile, at Romano's...
"There's a looooooog on the fiiiiire, and it buuuuuurns like me foooor you... SAAAAAAVE TONIGHT, AND..."
Romano suddenly interrupted his wonderful singing, and Eagle-Eye Cherry was now singing all alone. There was a sudden light, appearing just near Romano's couch. Through it, he could see trees. A lot of trees. Intrigued, Romano walked through the light, followed by Gretel, and they both disappeared.


Elisabeth was just coming back from the roof's seashore to the roof's jungle. She had seen dolphins there, even Flipper! (Ok, ok... Neryl challenged me: she said I wouldn't manage to put Flipper in this chapter...)
Then, a sudden light appeared, and Romano walked out of it with a dog. Elisabeth raised an eyebrow: Romano was only dressed with boxers, and had a cigar in one hand and an empty bottle of whisky in the other.
"Robert? How did you manage to get up here?"
Romano looked around: the jungle, the lianas...
"You Lizzie. Me Rocket. Her Gretel."
"Er... No... Me surgeon. You drunk."


Kerry closed the suitcase. She didn't really know what that thing in it was, but she had an idea of how to use it anyway. Looking toward the door, she saw Dave running in the hallway.
When she came out, a frightened Dave saw her and ran away:
"AAAAAAAAHHHAAAAHA!!" But somehow, Kerry managed to catch his arm and to stop him.
Protectively, Dave put his other arm in front of him, knowing that the chief would probably try to kill him. But instead of that, Kerry just asked:
"Dave, you see this suitcase?"
"Huh?"
"There's a bomb in it. If you stop running, it explodes. If you run under 20 km/h, it explodes too."
"HUH?"
"RUN DAVE, RUN!!!" Kerry yelled, forcing the suitcase in Dave's arms.
Dave first looked at Kerry, opening his eyes wide, and then began to run all over the ER again, holding the suitcase.

End of Chapter 5


What will happen between Lizzie and Rocket?
Will Mark be committed when he wakes up?
And where are Carter and Luka, probably the only two who aren't going crazy yet?


If you enjoyed this chapter, please review! ;-)))
And CHALLENGE US to put the twisted things you want in this fic!!
One last thing: to convert km/h into mph, divide by 1.4. Or 1.6. I never remember.