The Power of the Magic Force . . . When the Magician Is SICK!
The Power of the Magic Force…
When the Magician is SICK!!

By: Shirley Ann Burton

The Disclaimer, no matter how funny this story is going to sound:
The Magician, and all other related material, are the sole copyright of Gaumont Multimédia. This involves no original characters in any way, and this is intended as a spoof, so be ready to LYHO (laugh your head off) after what I'm going to make Ace do when he has to call on the Magic Force while fighting a head cold. *Evil grin*

On a sunny morning in Electro City, the Magician, Ace Cooper, was trying to sleep in his bed but struggled very badly because of an awful head cold. He opted not to take any medication for it, knowing how any type of drug could easily affect his mind if he needed to summon his special power known as the Magic Force. He knew of at least two occasions when he was unable to call forth his abilities because he had been drugged.
Cosmo, Ace's teenage ward and apprentice, entered his guardian's room with two pieces of toast and scrambled eggs. "Here ya are, dude. How's that cold? Any better?"
Ace grabbed a tissue and blew his nose hard into it. "No, Cosmo, 'fraid not. This cold's driving me crazy! I just hope, and I do mean hope, I will not have to be called for help by Vega, Mona, or anybody else. Last thing I need is to call on the Magic Force. I'm scared to think about what'll happen if I have to use it."
"I gotcha, dude. Hopefully we won't have any problems. Let me know if ya need anything."
"Thanks, Cosmo." After he left, Ace sneezed very hard again. "Oh, brother. Why did I have to get a head cold now? I'm supposed to perform on Wednesday, and there's just a couple of days to go! I'm gonna try to get some sleep and try not to worry about anything."
He did not sleep more than 15 minutes when a purplish hologram with pink highlights appeared in the room. "Ace, I'm sorry to disturb you, but you have a call from Lieutenant Vega."
"Oh, no," he grumbled. Eventually sitting up on his bed, Ace added, "Okay, Angel. I'll take this in the computer room."
He then walked to the computer room and patched the call in from his longtime friend. "Hello, Vega."
On the screen, Vega noticed Ace wearing his pajamas and robe. "You okay, Ace?"
"Nope. I have this bad head cold. I've been fighting it for the last couple of days now."
"Why don't you take medication for it?"
"Vega, don't you remember what happens to me when my mind is affected by drugs?"
The lieutenant could not stand Ace's attitude about his cold. "Look, you can at least take aspirin. The ingredients there can't affect your mind. In those two cases, you were injected with something. A cold is something you can fight with medication."
"Forget it, Vega. I'm not going to risk anything."
"And what if you have to call on your Magic Force? Your head cold could affect it, too."
"Doesn't matter right now, and besides, I don't think you called me just to see how I was doing with this cold."
"You're right, it's not. Here's a new one for you. It seems that Black Jack is trying to put a monopoly on ice cream. He's obviously done something to make other ice cream companies go out of business and sell his at a skyrocketing price. Can you imagine how many kids will be affected if this happens?"
Knowing he had a heart for children, Ace understood the situation. "No child deserves this kind of fate. Ice cream is a part of their lives. Jack has sure hit a nerve, trying to charge children outrageous prices for ice cream. I'll see what I can do about it."
"Thanks, Ace. Children everywhere will appreciate what you're doing."
As soon as the screen went black, Ace had one little worry in this situation. "I don't want to call on the Magic Force today. I just hope nothing pushes me into doing it."
After he quickly got dressed in his usual attire, he started leaving for the garage.
Cosmo tried to stop him. "Dude, you're still sick. You need to rest. Let Angel do a hologram of you or—"
"It's no good, Cosmo. Angel's holograms can't do the magic. It's up to me. Anyway, would you want to pay too much for Black Jack's ice cream?"
"Black Jack…in the ice cream business!? Since when?"
"I don't know. I'm going down to headquarters to see for myself. I'll see you later."
"Okay, but be careful."
"I'll try, but I can't make any promises."
Ace then left in the Magic Racer for police headquarters. While driving, though, he started sneezing harder. He kept blowing his nose into the handkerchief to try to stop the cold, but it was no help. Why did it have to be now of all times? he angrily thought to himself.
Upon his arrival, he let out one very hard sneeze. When he noticed his reflection on the door of the Racer, he still wore the same shirt and jacket on the top, but starting with the yellow belt and going down, he suddenly noticed the bottom half was the crimefighting costume he wore when he did summon the Magic Force's power! "Oh, no. How am I going to manage with this thing?"
Entering the headquarters building, a lot of the officers gave him some very funny looks. "Sorry, folks," he said while blushing, "this head cold's really bothering me."
Some of the officers laughed pretty hard at Ace's rather mixed look.
After going up to the third floor, he finally made it to his longtime friend's office and quickly went in. "Okay, Vega, I'm here, but you'd better not turn around."
"Why not?" the lieutenant asked as he turned around. "I—good grief, Ace! Half of you's ready to perform while the other half would rather fight."
"It's this lousy head cold. I let out one big sneeze, and this happened. Now, what's going on with Black Jack and the ice cream business?"
Vega took out the stat sheets on the four major ice cream companies in Electro City. "The health inspectors found traces of lead in the machinery making the ice cream. They forced all of them to shut down until the matter was resolved. Suddenly, Black Jack himself gets into the ice cream venture and starts making his own flavors such as 'Diamond Dairy,' 'Jack of Club Cherry,' and 'Ace of Spade Apricot.' To make matters worse, he's charging $15 for a half gallon."
"Okay, that's too much, I—" Ace suddenly sneezed hard again, and his clothes all went back to his regular outfit. "Whew, that's better. Sorry, Vega."
"Geshundheit," Vega stated straightly. "Oh, boy, if you have to deal with this now, I'm almost frightened to ask what'll happen if you need the Magic Force."
"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. So, what should we do?"
"We need to get someone in there, to inspect his ice cream factory on Lake Street."
"Maybe I should do it."
"I don't know, Ace. Your head cold is—"
"Look, somebody's got to do something, and I'm the only person who can get in there without a problem. Remember, I have magic on my side."
"Yeah, magic which could easily be affected because of your cold. You need to take something for it before it really turns bad."
"Whatever. Time for me to get to work." He then took off for his car once again, and this time the audience applauded his regular look again.
He got into the Magic Racer and left for the new ice cream factory at the location Vega specified.

Parking two blocks away from the factory, Ace decided to disguise himself as a health inspector to get a closer look at Black Jack's operation and maybe get some evidence linking him and his henchmen to corporate sabotage.
Going into spins rapidly, he made the white areas of his hair disappear and soon appeared in a professional suit and tie. Putting on some glasses for an added effect. "Let's see how Jack handles a surprise inspection courtesy of the Magician." He then adjusted his tie and walked towards Black Jack's ice cream factory.
Inside, Black Jack and his lawyer Clockwise continued overseeing operations for their ice cream.
Jack turned his mobile hover chair to face the attorney. "Everything is going well," he said wickedly.
"Yes, sir. We're moving along in creating the 32 flavors needed to maintain 'BJ's Card Deck Ice Cream' as a prominent business."
"It's amazing how kids' desire for something so sweet could become such a sweet business for us. I just love taking advantage of kids' sweet teeth."
"Agreed. This is one of your truly brilliant ideas."
Diamond then came up to the two of them. "If we can't get everyone to gamble at the Croesus Palace, we'll get them to pay for the only safe ice cream in the city at whatever cost we want."
Jack snickered with an evil grin. "I think we'll raise the prices of ice cream tomorrow to about $25 a half-gallon."
Meanwhile, Spade stood guard at the front door of the plant when he noticed someone in a suit and tie approaching. "Hold it, pal," the big brawny guy stated as he put his right hand forward.
Effectively disguising his voice, Ace stated who he was. With a slight sniffle he started, "Excuse me, young man, but I'm Aaron Chambers, Electro City Health Department." Showing his badge to Spade, he added, "I've come to do a surprise inspection on this plant, seeing this is the only one with safe ice cream in the whole city."
"Hold on, let me talk to the boss." He then turned around and talked into his wristwatch radio. "Boss, there's a health inspector here."
Inside, Jack heard the message. "What? A surprise inspection? Very well. Show the inspector inside, please."
Spade turned and looked at the health inspector. "Okay, you can come in, but you won't find anything wrong here."
"Very well. I just want to see for myself why your ice cream factory has the only safe ice cream in Electro City."
Chambers entered with Spade with one thought in mind. If I can just get the necessary information about their sabotaging operations, they'll be in jail faster than Friedrichs can say, "You're under arrest."
Spade led the checker into the main area of the ice cream factory where Diamond, Jack, and Clockwise were.
"So," said an approaching Jack, "you want to see why we're the only ice cream factory with safe ice cream. Well, Mr., um, Chambers, you will come to understand that our ice cream will always top the competition, or lack thereof."
Ace could not believe what Jack was doing. You've got some serious nerve, Jack Malone. How could you make innocent people pay so much for a treat appreciated by children and the children at heart? I'll find a way to expose your plan. He then let out another sniffle.
Clockwise looked curiously at him. "You seem to have a cold. Are you all right, Herr inspector?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I've been fighting a head cold for the last few days. However, I won't let a cold stop me from doing my job."
"You're very dedicated, young man," Jack stated forward. "Why don't you become my personal health inspector. I could pay you more than what the Health Department's paying you."
"No, thank you, sir. I don't need a—a—a—aachoo!" The sneeze turned the upper part of his suit into the regular suit he wore. "Oops."
All four looked at him curiously.
"What happened?" asked Jack furiously. Realizing whose outfit it was, he shouted, "It's Cooper!"
"That's right, Jack!" He went into a spin and started to yell the phrase. "Magic Force, reveal the power—a—a—a—aachoo—within!"
When he stopped spinning, he noticed he was not quite in his crimefighting costume. In fact, he wore a clown's outfit, complete with rainbow hair, giant red nose, and large red shoes. "Oh, brother, my Magic Force seems to be on the fritz today."
He went into the spin again and shouted his phrase once more. The end result this time was a baseball uniform. "I'm not Mark McGuire! I'm supposed to be the Magician!"
All the while, Jack and his men just burst out laughing real hard.
Diamond said, "You sure look silly, Cooper."
Ace tried again with the phrase and ended up in something really humiliating: a ballet dancer's dress complete with tutu! "Oh, boy, this is some head cold I've got."
"What're you gonna do, Cooper?" asked Spade in laughter. "You gonna pirouette your fight on us or something?"
Ace smiled in delight. "Spade, you just gave me the right idea." He then spun around and landed a hard kick in Spade's gut, leaving the huge henchman winded for breath.
Diamond tried to make a move next. "You'll be sorry, Cooper!"
"I may have this head cold," said the Magician as he put his right hand forward, "but that doesn't mean I can't do magic on you!" Using his power properly at least, he levitated Diamond and abruptly dropped him into the machine making the apricot ice cream.
"Okay, you two," stated Ace angrily while sniffling. "I'll know the truth in a moment." He then put his hands into a circular motion, which left both of them hypnotized. "Now, tell me. Did you do something at the other factories to force them to close?"
Clockwise was first to answer. "It's true, Cooper. We sent Spade and Diamond as maintenance workers to those plants in order for them to put the lead into the ice cream mixing machines."
"We then contacted the Health Department," stated Jack in a monotonous tone, "to let them know there was a problem with their ice cream. I decided to get to the people of Electro City by one of the most tasty foods ever known."
"Thank you both," Ace said as he took out a miniature recorder. "I just got the confession I needed from both of you." He then spoke into his own wristwatch radio. "Vega, come over here to the factory on Lake Drive. This ice cream caper's just been wrapped up."
A few minutes later, Vega, Captain Friedrichs, and 10 other police officers came to the factory.
"Ace?" Vega shouted. "Where are you?"
Putting out his hand in a wave, Ace answered, "I'm over here, but I only want you to come over."
When the lieutenant came to where Ace was, he was shocked. "I told you what would happen if you didn't take something for that head cold. You look absolutely ridiculous."
"Don't remind me, Vega. I—a—a—a—aachoo!" The quick sneeze turned Ace's ballet outfit into the correct crimefighting costume. "Now I'm wearing the right costume. Sheesh!" He hit his left fist against the right side of his upper body to finish the transformation. "You got any aspirin? I think it's time to do something about this head cold of mine."
"Finally! Not every drug affects your mind, Ace. I'm so glad you finally understand that."
Ace took the aspirin from Vega and quickly swallowed it.
Captain Friedrichs looked at the four new prisoners in disarray. "I can't believe I'm arresting all of you for corporate sabotage, trying to force people to pay exorbitant prices for a food that everyone loves. I'm going to ask Senator Dobbs personally to give you all the proper punishments."

The four criminals did get some interesting punishments as a result of their crime.
For his part, Clockwise had to dress up as a clown at the Abraxas Circus and serve ice cream to the hordes of screaming little kids. "This is so embarrassing, having to look like a stupid clown!"
One of the kids threw his ice cream into the clown suit. "This isn't the flavor I wanted, Mister!"
"Why you little brat!? I will—"
Yokiko, the female owner of the Abraxas, came up and said, "Watch your mouth, Mr. Clockwise. You have a lot of children to serve, and you need to speed it up."
Diamond's punishment was to drive one of the competitor's ice cream trucks for six months. He had a lot of trouble keeping track of all the children and their specific orders. "Will you shut up!? I'm trying to get these orders done!"
"I heard that," said the owner via radio. "Unless you want more prison time, you zip the lip and do your job!"
Black Jack's involvement cost him not only the factory, but also the enormous losses he had to pay to the other companies for sabotaging their efforts. In addition, he had to serve time as machine operator at a different competitor's plant.
"I'm going to get Cooper for this one! I'm one of Electro City's prominent citizens!"
The factory manager stated, "That may be so, Mr. Malone, but you tried to put me out of business, so it's payback time. You may be in a hover chair, but you still have arms, so use them!"
Finally, as for Spade, he was sentenced to serve ice cream at the concession stand at the baseball stadium for the course of the entire regular season and the playoffs if the Electro City Lightning baseball team got that far.
Ace and Mona Malone spent some quality time at a ball game one day.
"Ace, this was a nice idea, going to a baseball game in the warm sun. I'm hungry, though. Let's see if we can get some ice cream."
"Sure, and um, Mona, I hope you're not mad at me about having to put your father in jail and serve some time."
"I'm not the least bit upset with you about that at all. I mean, Father went overboard in trying to cheat children out of one of the best luxuries a kid could have. This time, some sentence time may finally teach him a lesson."
The two came up to the concession stand.
"Excuse me," said Mona, "we'd like two scoops of chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream, please."
Spade turned to face her and Ace. "Oh, no! I have to serve ice cream to him?"
The owner of the stand said, "That's part of the punishment, pal! Either serve these customers, or you'll serve some more time in jail! Your choice."
After the Magician and his sweetheart got their ice cream, they went to watch the game with all the other fans, who all enjoyed the magnificent taste of all flavors of a true American classic, ice cream.


THE END



I am a serious Magician fan, but even I knew it was time to try something funny. I hope you've enjoyed this quick spoof of Ace and company. J