Disclaimer: i do not own Escaflowne or any the people in it. Please
don't sue.:0)
-----------------
Chapter 12: Who's Dreams?
-----------------
- I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbesil. I will only
complicate you. Trust in me, and if all is well. I will find a center
in you. I will chew it up and leave. Trust me. Trust me......
- Tool, Undertow -
-----------------
Several days later
-----------------
I went south from Zaibach when i left that night. I did not stop
for 2 days straight. I crossed the Paradine lake and headed past Madido
valley. Now i am in an area i have not been before. For several days i
have been experimenting in my little camp here. I have not seen any
people anywhere, so it has been safe to try my new powers. I can't say
that i like them or that i want them, but they have been useful. I can
start fires, freeze or rather stop moving objects. I can cause the
ground to shake by placing my hands on the earth and i can make it
rain.I am lonely, but i know the alternative. Isolation is the only way
for me to live right now. The longer i am away from Miguel, the easier
it is. I don't feel in love with him anymore. I love him but not in
that way. Dilandau was right. I hate that. To top it off, the scar on
my hand has healed. There is nothing left of this marriage. Because i
am dead to him, or he believes me to be anyway. Now i understand what
the priest meant by, no divorce. It wasn't real to begin with. Once i
understood the impact i had on his life, my feelings changed back, thus
the marriage null and void. It is amazing the effect one person can
have on so many lives. I ruined and destroyed so much. If i had not
come to Gaea then none of this would have happened. It would have been
someone else, with different results. I feel guilty. I feel the pain
i caused and i cannot go back to the real world. Actually i never
thought i would feel this way, but i am starting to think i should go
home, to earth. Maybe i can find a way. Running seems to be a
constant in my life. I can't deal so i run away. Like now. What's wrong
with me?
-------------------
On the other side of the world
-------------------
Dilandau Well i have searched Fried, Austuria, Zaibach ruins, and
Fanelia. No sign of her. Everyone i question has not seen her and it is
getting really hard to keep a low profile. I went about so many things
the wrong way. I let my hatred and revenge cloud my goals. I could have
had it all if i did things differently. Now look at me. No country, No
girl, no life. I am running around the world searching for one person.
To make her face the truth. I will never give up on her.
The only thing that keeps me happy is that my revenge was swift and
just. My debts have been paid and i sleep better knowing this. Now i
am alone..... I have it! I have not gone south yet. I will spend the
rest of my life looking for her if i have to. I will go south tomorrow
then i will go West. Damn it! Where are you atrea?
-------------------
A few hours later Middle of the night
-------------------
Dilandau is sleeping restlessly. Atrea is dreaming peacefully.
Atrea's dream On earth; Walking along a bridge from her childhood.
It is summertime and there are many flowers blooming. She is reliving
a moment from when she was 5 years old. The only difference is that, in
this dream she is 24, her current age: I always loved this place. My
grandma used to take me here to play and pick flowers. I seem to be
alone. I am awake in this dream. I mean really aware that this is a
dream. I have never been able to do this before. I wonder if this is
part of my new powers. Maybe it is a fluke and i only think that i am
aware but i am really dreaming that i am. Whatever. I laugh. That part
would be way to complicated to figure out. It is a nice place i might
as well take a walk. I am walking across the rest of the bridge and
the dream changed. I was still in a flowered area but it was a grassy
field where a wall should be. I must be on Gaea now. I see men laughing
and talking about a yard away they have swords at their sides. This
must be Gaea. I have never been here before though, this can't be a
memory for me. Is that Allen? When he was younger. It is a boy about
15 years or so old and his is playing with a little girl that is about
4 or 5 maybe? Hmmmmmm. The sky is darkening and rain is coming down,
the young man is yelling something. I am going to go up to him and ask
him what this place is. " Sir, what is this place?" i inquired. " Have
you seen a little girl around here "? he asked impatiently. " No, i..
umm have not " i said confused. He yelled " Celena. Celena where are
you ". I walked away. It was making some sense. Ok this was Allen's
past. What does that have to do wi..... Wait a second. Dilandau. This
would be his past too. Why am i here? I never knew about any of this.
Ok, i have the will to change this dream. I wish i could see Dilandau
now. I want to see him. The dream went dark. There was a light about
a yard away. I walked up to it and there was a patch of grass there.
He appeared before me. He was sleeping on the grass. I woke him up. He
looked at me and said " This is a hell of a dream ". I asked him about
the little girl and Allen etc. He told me all about it. That was the
day that changed his life. I did not know if this dream was real or
not. Was i sharing a dream with him?Or was this part of my imagination?
Either way i could not take a chance. I wanted to wake up. I prayed to
wake up, but the dream was still there and so was Dilandau. He asked
what i was doing. I said nothing. Instead i changed the dream. I went
to McDonalds. I wanted a burger. I figured this was not part of Gaea.
It was so out there for this planet that Dilandau would be gone. I
got a table and began eating my big mac. Dilandau sat down in the chair
across from me. He looked a little pale. " What is this place?" he
asked me in a low whisper. " McDonalds. Over a billion served " i
retorted. " Oh " was all he said. " What are you doing here " i
demanded to know. " You brought me here, you tell me " he shouted.
" Well go home then " i yelled at him. " How can i? You brought me
here " he said. Which was the truth. I did change the dream. I guess
if it had been his dream he could do whatever he wanted. I wished to
be back on gaea. And then we were. I missed the burger. " Now your home
leave me alone " i snapped. " I knew you weren't dead. I am looking for
you now " he stated. " Well you won't get very far " i stated. " You
can't hide forever Atrea. You have no where to go. " he said happy.
" We'll see " i said as i was waking up. I was drenched in sweat.
It was still dark so i was not dreaming long. I took my stolen sword
out and cut my hair, above the shoulder. If i change the way i look,
then it will be harder to find me. He will be looking for me. The girl
with long auburn hair. She does not exsist now. Until i can figure
this out, nothing will be right. I will be hunted by the person i want
the most.
-----------------
Dilandau same moment
-----------------
Oh shit. Was that a dream? Or a nightmare? Was she really there?
Or did i make her up? What the hell is going on? And what the hell is
a McDonalds? I either, made it up or it is a place on the mystic moon.
I have to believe it was real. All of it. Confirmation that she is
truly alive and well. Now the real hunt begins. Just like before. I
always win. Always get what i want eventually. What i don't get is how
she was acting toward me. She seemed like she was not good enough for
me. Hiding, changing the dream around. It is like she wants me but
feels that she can't. I will make her "see" if it is my last
wish on Gaea. I guess i should not worry. She will run out of places
to hide eventually.
-----------------
A few weeks later
-----------------
Atrea I haven't seen Dilandau. This is a good omen i think. He
has had plenty of time to find me. Maybe he has given up. What am i
thinking? Like he would give up on me? A part of me wants him to forget
about me and the other part needs him to find me. I was safe before.
When i thought i loved Miguel. I had no worries no real problems. And
now look at me. I have reverted to my former state. Paranoid,
delusional, and complicated self. I realize that i do this to myself.
I just wish i knew what was wrong with me. Why am i so scared? Why am i
so alone all the time? Why do i panic when i am around people? Great,
again i am keeping myself up by thinking about things i cannot change.
If i don't get some sleep soon...... Out like a light.
------------------
Dilandau
------------------
" Will this magic thing really work?" Dilandau asked the man. " If
you want to share in someones dream badly enough, this WILL work " the
old man stated. " What do i have to do ?" Dilandau asked ready to go.
" You will need to stare into this fire and i will do the rest. You
will enter her dream without her knowing it. You will be completely
in control of the dream from that point on. If your ready to begin.. "
the old man said and waited for the reply. " Let's do this " Dilandau
said ready as he would ever be.
Chanting begins, the old man is throwing different powders into
the fire. This goes on for seemed like forever in Dilandau's mind, then
he went under
This place looks familair. Like before..... The tavern where i
first really met her. I can see her in the corner with that hood on.
What did i do next? I got a drink and sat next to her. This should be
interesting. Back at the beginning when the fun started.
~~~~~: Atrea is wrapped up in her own mind debates. She did not notice
who is coming to sit down almost next to her. Until he speaks. "So
don't you like your drink"? Dilandau asks. " I like it fine " the woman
answers him in a hushed tone. " you hardly drank any of it " Dilandau
says playfully. Electrical shocks serge in Atrea. I can't believe it
is him, and he picked this place to drink, damn my luck. I know that
voice. Well he must not have a clue who i am or he would have done
something by now. I guess i have no choice but to play along. Or i
could run..... attracting attention to myself. naw i will play along
to see what he wants.
" Well " he said. " Well what " i say. " You never answered my
question " He retorted. I could not help myself, for the words that
came out of my mouth were not what i expected i would say. " What
question was that " i asked him. " You hardly touched your drink "
he said. " Have you tried this before "? i asked him. " yes " he
replied taking another drink from his glass. " would you want to
drink something this horrible, really fast "? I said chuckling. " Good
point " he said chuckling. I wanted to ask him so many things at that
point, i needed answers. I knew i would not get any, so i asked what i
knew i could get away with. " What is your name " I calmly asked him.
" Dilandau Albatou " he replied. I did not expect him to answer me
honestly. " And yours " he replied taking another drink from his glass.
I took a drink from my glass turning away from him so he could not get
a good view of my face. I am glad i wore my hair up on my head. " My
name is Briana " I said, secretly patting myself on the back for my
quick thinking. " So Briana.... what brings you here "? he asked me.
" Here to this inn or here to Godashiem "? i said back to him. " Are
you TRYING to avoid my questions "? He said in a playful voice.
" Not at all" i replied. now a smile on my face. This is going to be
fun i thought. " Then why don't you answer my question "? He playfully
stated. " I thought i did, friend. But if you want an answer to a
question you will have to be more specific". I said with a big smile
plastered on my hidden face. " I see, you want to play "? He said in a
tone that would seduce most women. " If you think you can handle
that " I stated in the same tone he used. I figured why waste a great
oportunity. I can feel him out, although not literally. I can find out
the way his mind works and beat him at his own game. " it is a
challenge you seek "? he said. " Who said you were the challenge i was
looking for"? I replied very happy with myself. I could feel the
alcohol starting to affect me. " Because you are still here " he said
very confident in his ability. " so i am " i whispered. I was
only a foot away from him, but it felt like his eyes were burning into
me. More people came into the now crowded bar area. There was not much
light at the table we were sitting at. I dared to look at him for a
moment studing his nice face. Then i looked away before he could see
mine. Then a bar fight ruined my fun. I was not drunk but i was feeling
very light headed and giddy.
Something was off here i thought. Why was i dreaming of this place?
I am going through the motions like deja vu. He was still looking at me
i could tell, but what to say? I didn't need to say anything because
everyone in the room disappeared except for him and i? " What have you
done? " I demanded to know. " When are you going to believe that i will
never go away? " he said taking another drink. I was shocked but i knew
that there was no way that HE was really here. I kept telling myself
that is was just a dream and to ride it out until i wake up. " What are
you talking about? I don't know you! " i stated. " By now you see that
it is i who control this dream and you are going to stay here until you
answer a few questions ". Dilandau said happy with himself. " That is
impossible " i said turning to look at him. " Really? Then where are
the people? Why have the events changed from now to then? " He said
smiling. " Fine, I will assume for now that what you say is the truth.
What the fuck do you want to know " i said both annoyed and pleased at
the lengths he went through to get to me.
" Question number 1: Why do you run away from me? " he said already
knowing the answer. " Why do you ask questions you already know the
answers too? " i retorted. " Humor me " he said laughing. " Fine,
i don't want to be anywhere near you. Are you happy now? " i said.
" No, not quite. We both know that you want me. In fact i would say it
was more of an addiction " he said with laughter in his eyes. " WHAT!?"
i yelled. " You heard me " he laughed heartily. " I am otta here " I
said while getting up. " Where do you think you will go? Really Atrea.
This is my dream now. I hold the cards " he smuggly stated. " Not if
your on fire " i said while trying to use my powers. " They don't work
this time Atrea. I told you i am in control " he said with an evil
grin. " Damn it! What do you want from me?" i said on the brink of
tears. I was afraid to lose him and scared he would pursue me. " I want
you to face the truth " he said monotone. " What truth " i whispered.
" The fact is that you love me. You need me. But you are afraid that i
will ruin you again. You blame me for the marrigae to Miguel. In fact
i would say that you blame me for a lot of things. You don't want to
have feelings for me because of what might happen yet you run away
because you don't know how to deal with what the feelings inside you
right now " he said that while looking into me eyes. Ha ha i thought
Dr. Albatou strikes again. He may have had valid points. I was not
really listening to what the words meant. Only to my inner voice that
said run.. run.. run away quick. So i ran......
The dream changed i was in a room quite small. The bar table was
there as was Dilandau. He never moved an inch, just changed the scene.
" Told you " was all he said. " Suppose that was all true what you
said about me. What do i do now? " i stated feeling backed into a
corner like a caged animal. " Give in to me " he whispered. " That's
it? " i replied laughing. The table disappeared and the room shrank.
He got up out of the chair which was the only thing left in this place.
He walked over to me. " Close your eyes " he whispered. " I can't "
the words escaped my mouth before i knew what i said. " Give yourself
to me " he whispered in my ear. I didn't know if i should or if i could
close them. I could have fought him. My heart was pounding. I wanted
to give in so badly but i resisted. He put his hand on my waist from
behind me. His other arm went around my chest pinning me to him. He
whispered " Close your eyes and trust in me " I closed my eyes. This
is afterall what i secretly wanted. From there it was all a blur. I
remember my clothes disappeared and there was a lot of kissing. By the
time i woke up it was a distant memory that i could vaguely recall. I
was not sure if it was real or not. I would soon find out though.
Someone was watching me from the bushes. In the middle of night i could
see their eyes. Blood red..........