Robin Learns Why She Has Never Known Defeat: Part I of II


A sigh escaped Robin's tired and sore throat as he opened the door to his room with the precision of a surgeon. Slowly, and with the utmost of care, he creaked the door open and revealed the dark room inside, inviting him inside while the moon shone through the window opposite him. To his left was the bed where he prayed to whatever god would hear him that his girlfriend was soundly asleep in. To his right was his personal computer atop a desk, longing for his attention despite how tired he felt.

Putting one foot before the other, he gingerly began to walk towards his computer and made not a single sound, feeling his feet sink into the carpet and thanking his luck that his room wasn't on hardwood floors. His thanks would be cut short when the lights in the room turned on, causing him to freeze in place like a statue while a look of abject horror crept along his face. He slowly turned his head to the left as he followed the lights, only to notice his girlfriend was awake, leaning against the backboard of the bed, and glaring at him. A book rested on her lap, the title too far away to make out, and a lit lamp was on her nightstand.

"No." The book wasn't the only thing Cordelia was reading tonight, her eyebrows narrowing as she realized exactly what Robin was trying to do.

"Come on! Not even one hour?" Robin whispered back, trying his hardest to finagle any sympathy he could with his expression. From Cordelia's perspective, it looked like he was on the verge of tears instead of his intended puppy-dog stare.

"That thing whines like a jet engine whenever you play that game. I can't sleep with it on." She laid back down on the bed and rolled to her side. "And don't get me started on how bright your screen is." She had made her inability to sleep with any lights on very clear on multiple occasions already.

"It's not my fault the port of the game is terrible. And why are the blinds open then?" Robin folded his arms and ditched his attempts at diplomacy.

"Because you opened them this morning, and I forgot to close them when I went to bed at a reasonable time three hours ago." Cordelia had stopped looking at him, but broke this trend when she realized the blinds were still drawn. "Ahem." She pointed to the blinds, watching the realization of what she wanted dawn on Robin's face in real-time.

"Oh, come on!" He let out a very dramatic sigh as he walked over, drew the blinds, then glared back at her. "Would you like your pillow fluffed too, princess? A foot massage? A midnight snack while I'm at it?"

"Yes to all three. There's ice cream in the fridge downstairs." Cordelia turned off her lamp and shut her eyes.

"I was joking." Robin rolled his eyes and went to his side of the bed, removing his shirt and laying down with his back facing her while his mind was already stewing in anger.

"Shame." Driven by what Robin assumed was a desire to have the last word, Cordelia replied back before she resumed trying to sleep. He kept his peace, instead opting to think about his conversation he had with Chrom, Gaius and Stahl before he had gone to bed tonight. The topic being the newest game to come out and dominate their inner circle: Elden Ring.

"The look on Stahl's face when he sees the Lake of Rot is gonna be priceless…" Robin thought, realizing he had neglected to tell his friends: he had overtaken them in progress and was stuck for hours on what he considered the hardest boss in the game bar-none.

His eyes closed, his mind drifting away while all he could think of was the places he had seen in game, the unforgettable journey his character had, and that stupid swordswoman with red hair who heavily reminded him of someone.


A chill air swept against Robin's face as he sat down, staring at the glowing thread of gold that had guided him thus far. At the very top of a gnarled, humongous tree, he had paused to recollect. It had been a long, painful, harrowing journey to get here. From witnessing horrors at the Village of the Albinaurics, to betrayals from those he thought he could trust at the Roundtable Hold, finding an abandoned fort with soldiers fighting for a war they lost ages ago, and stumbling his way through a maze of invisible assassins and bow-wielding snipers, he had come far. But here he sat, at the very top of Sumiquella's Haligtree.

Below him was a drop so daunting he could barely stand to look at it, the ocean barely visible against the light-blue fog masking the area. His only way through was the branches of the tree, sloping downwards and criss-crossing over themselves like a convoluted network of sewer pipes. And much like the Leyndall Sewers, this tree had a very decrepit aura that unnerved him.

It was so painfully close to mimicking the Erdtree, obviously its main inspiration, but gone was the gold luster and the gigantic scope that blocked out the sun itself. Instead was a tree that appeared, to Robin's untrained eye, dead and rotting.

Mushrooms and other wildlife dotted the trees, like a few gigantic ants which Robin recoiled at the sight at. But this was it. He had finally made it to what he assumed was the final secret of The Lands Between. What sights would be waiting for him deeper into the tree? Would he finally find the Scarlet Swordswoman he had heard so much about? Will he-

The sharp noise of a horn being played smashed into his eardrums and ruined his focus as he was rocked awake, with the horn continuing to play only one note. He stood up, following his ears and looking down to see a small, orb-like creature in white bandages that resembled a snowman. They held a large, gold trumpet and angled it to the heavens while they played their singular note without cease. From the edge of his field of vision, Robin noticed more of them roll beside this one and swivel along the main orb of their body until they stood next to it, pulled out trumpets of their own, and continued in the symphony of exactly one note.

"Hey! Can you guys knock it off? I'm trying to focus here!" He cupped his hands to his mouth and called out to them. They seemed to not care. "Fine, have it your way." From the large branch he stood on, Robin figured he could make the leap to the other branch these orb creatures rested on.

Taking a few steps back and gulping, Robin sprinted towards the edge of the branch and leapt off, sailing through the air and initially fearing he overshot the distance. Gravity began to take him, however, and he caught himself on the branch just as he thought he was going to plummet. He held onto it like a cat, noticing that it barely even shook from his weight, and began to pull himself up. "Don't say I didn't warn you…" With his blade of crackling lightning in his right hand, and a seal in his left, he began to charge the small orb creatures and effortlessly cut them down before they could react.

Their bodies faded to dust at his feet, some even dropping chunks of white flesh that Robin almost didn't pocket out of disgust. As he knelt down to pick the last one up, he noticed a shadow loom over him.

Directly behind him was a much, much larger orb creature with an even bigger trumpet, holding it aloft like it was about to swing a bat. "Oh, sh-" With a loud crack, Robin felt the trumpet smash into his chest and knock him clean off the tree, sailing into the great blue horizon while he screamed.

-YOU DIED-

Returning back to the site of grace with a newfound fear of heights, Robin decided that maybe he didn't have to mess with the funny-looking orb creatures.


It had taken a long while for Robin to descend down the side of the Haligtree. The branches had given way to a collection of structures built into the side of the tree itself, made of a white material resembling marble and rotating around the tree as they led further and further down. All sorts of creatures were at home here, be it misbegotten, shambling bodies infested with both Scarlet Rot and mushrooms, or even some strange snails that summoned endless foes that promptly cut Robin down multiple times.

His newest foe, however, was a battlemage with a statue-like helmet and a pointed hood. It was currently unaware of his presence as he peered out from behind a corner. The battlemage patrolled its small segment of the T-shaped intersection and guarded the way out of the room they found themselves in.

Just behind him was a bridge leading to a smaller gazebo-like structure, which branched off into more bridges. One of which led to a large, flat plane made of stone. And if Robin had learned one thing from his hundreds of hours adventuring these lands, it was that large, flat empty locations most likely housed a great enemy. A great enemy that, when defeated, would leave a site of grace behind.

This was the home stretch. Robin was sure of it. So sure that his initial trepidation to fight the mage was replaced with bold, daring and stupid ambition as he began to sneak towards the mage's backside. He crouched low to the ground as he readied his sword, waiting to strike until he was close enough to practically smell the mage.

Speaking of smell, it didn't take Robin long to notice that this mage smelled worse than the Lake of Rot. He quickly covered his nose with his free hand, only to realize that his shoulder had bumped into the leg of the mage.

The battlemage quickly turned around, the stone visage adorning its head staring at him with an unknowable expression that Robin interpreted as questioning his stupidity. With barely a second to react, the mage summoned a comically-oversized mallet of turquoise glintstone and flattened Robin on the ground as though it were a round of whack-a-mole.

-YOU DIED-


"These guys hit like trucks…" Robin sighed as the second battlemage lay dead at his feet. Another one had been waiting for him in the gazebo past the first one that had dispatched him earlier. He quickly took a sip from his healing flask, turning his gaze to the left and noticing an elevator leading up.

Assuming it to be a shortcut, Robin made his way over and stepped on the pressure plate to activate the lift, carrying him back up to an earlier site of grace and giving him cause to celebrate. With some mental tension taken off his psyche, Robin returned back down to the entrance of the arena and steeled himself before stepping inside.

His initial assumption that a large, imposing and disgusting monster would be waiting for him were proven false. Instead, there was naught but dead air. He scanned around for any sort of clue that an invisible enemy was approaching, such as the leaves on the ground rustling, but found nothing. What he did find was a statue to his left, drawing his attention enough that he walked over to it.

The statue depicted two young girls under the cloak of what Robin assumed was their father. One of them looked a fair bit older and taller than the other, but still both quite young.

"Impressive statue, huh?" A voice spoke from right beside Robin, startling him and making him jump.

"Gah!" Robin exclaimed as he noticed a man riding a horse standing right beside him. Said horse was sniffing his shoulder and currently judging if it wanted to take a chomp out of his cloak or not. "What the- Get away from me!" Robin darted away from the horse and drew his sword. "Who are you, and how did you get here?"

"I'm Stahloretta, Knight of the Haligtree, and I'm Stahloretta, Knight of the Haligtree." He removed his helmet to reveal a familiar face and brown hair. "Kind of in my job description to be here, y'know. I could ask the same for you, traveler."

"I uh-" Robin spoke up, trying to think of a justified reason to be here.

"Have you come seeking safe haven from the oppression of the Golden Order? Are you an albinauric?" Stahloretta pressed further. Robin noted the large spear at his back.

"Weren't you at Caria Manor? I vaguely remember fighting you there." He shifted the conversation in a desperate ploy to buy time.

"Those Carian dogs must have summoned a phantom of me. The nerve..." He scowled. "Did you invade their manor to put them to the sword, taking revenge for the years of oppression they visited on the albinaurics?"

"It's… Um, it's a bit more complicated than that." Robin wasn't quite sure how he could phrase 'I did some favors for Rannowi and she called me her consort before I could object' without sounding like the king of fools. "I was just investigating. Wanted to see the sights. Same reason I'm here, really. Just want to go find the Scarlet Swordswoman. Have a chat with her, talk about how she… doomed Caelid to rot." His tongue slipped, letting on more than he should've. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that can I just pass through and we'll pretend we never saw each othe-"

"You're tarnished, aren't you?" Stahloretta's eyes narrowed. "You're here for her great rune and nothing else. You'd burn this entire tree down if you had your way, just like the other hounds that those Carian mongrels send our way."

"What? No, I don't-" Robin panicked, realizing Stahloretta was drawing his spear as his horse reared up. "I don't even know the Carians! Okay, maybe I did… help Rannowi out a bit, but I just did it because I thought her hat looked funny! You can always judge someone's character by how big their hat is!"

"I'll be sure to have them engrave that on your tombstone, Carian scum." With his mind spoken, Stahloretta began to charge Robin.

"That's a terrible opening line to a boss fight!" Robin dove out of the way and rolled back to his feet, readying a spell in his left hand before he noticed the swarm of glintstone daggers around Stahloretta's head; all of them were angled towards Robin. "Who even is 'them' anyway? We're the only sane people on this stupid tree!"

Robin would not receive his answer as the daggers bolted towards him, finding their mark as they slammed into him and turned him into a standing pincushion.

"And now there's one sane person left." Stahloretta smirked and rode away to the other side of the room while Robin fell down, fading away to dust.

-YOU DIED-


"You really got killed by Stahloretta without getting a single hit in?" Gaius laughed to himself as he stood next the entrance of the arena. Golden fog covered the door, now indicating the great enemy inside. "Wow, that's terrible. I'm almost impressed."

"Shut up." Robin folded his arms and glared in the other direction, too frustrated to look at the golden phantom he had summoned for help. "He snuck up on me."

"How?! He's a giant dude on a horse!" Gaius chuckled. "You didn't hear or see him approaching at all?"

"I got distracted by a statue. Then he showed up, started dumping his ideology on me, and I said my piece only for him to draw steel."

"You brought up Caelid, didn't you?" Gaius asked, hoping beyond hope that Robin wasn't dumb enough to have done that. Robin's nodding in response was somehow even more depressing. "I- Oh, Christ almighty… You should never march up to people who ended a very, very bloody war with a tie and start babbling off about how they should've lost!"

"I didn't summon you here to discuss proper manners." Robin sneered back.

"Maybe if you had some, you wouldn't have to summon me for over seventy-five percent of this game!"

"That's besides the point, and we're wasting time." With a long sigh, Robin pushed his hand to the golden fog and stepped inside. Gaius followed behind, expecting Stahloretta to be waiting for them. Instead, there was empty space in the arena just like before.

"Where the hell is he?" Gaius asked, looking around.

"Beats me. Probably too busy trying to think of an opening line that doesn't suck." Robin replied, noticing the air had gone cold.

"My name…" A loud voice cut through the air.

"Oh, for crying out loud…" Gaius pressed his fingers to his brow as he sighed. A man riding on a horse crashed through the closed doors on the other side of the arena.

"Is Stahloretta of the Haligtree! As I breathe, you shall not pass the brace's gate!" He finished his speech as he reared up, a stance that Robin was already tired of seeing.

"Wrong game, asshole!" Robin cupped his hands and called back. "Get better material!" Stahloretta charged both of them, the bottom of his spear glowing and summoning more glintstone daggers. Gaius and Robin split, daggers being sent in both directions and none of them hitting their mark while they approached Stahloretta in a pincer formation.

Robin dragged his sword along the ground, scrapping sparks off the stone while he cycled through the spells in his memory. "Death Lightning? No, too costly… Could use Flame of the Fell God…" While he was busy distracting himself, Stahloretta and Gaius had engaged in a deadly dance of steel and sorceries. Every swipe Stahloretta made caught naught but air as Gaius dodged out of the way, slashing at his steed with every sidestep.

"Stay still, damn you!" Stahloretta exclaimed, realizing that he might as well be trying to swat a fly with his bare hands. Wounds and cuts began to form on both him and his steed, realizing too late that Gaius was dual-wielding swords designed to deal bleeding damage.

"But that's no fun!" Gaius shouted back as he leapt up, raising both swords on high and readying a jumping blow. He would've delivered the strike were it not for the staff end of Stahloretta's weapon smacking him in the face and sending him tumbling to the ground. "Ow…" Gaius rubbed the bruise on the side of his cheek, only to see Stahloretta bear down on him with a glowing, blue bow notched with four arrows.

"Where'd that chipper attitude from earlier? Too scared to make a witty remark?" Stahloretta smirked as he charged his magical arrows with more energy. In his focus, he was blind to the huge orb of fire slowly drifting towards him. By the time he noticed its ambient red glow, he was unable to avoid it as it exploded and interrupted his attack. "Gah!" He shielded his gaze from the bright combustion of flame, then tracked from whence the orb had came. "You!" He pointed squarely at Robin, who stared back as though he was a deer in the sights of a hunter.

Robin sprinted away, opting to fight with no honor and fleeing while Stahloretta gave chase. Why he had opted to try and outrun a man on horseback, the world may never know. But what Robin did know was that he was cornered between the railing giving way to a drop below, and a very angry knight riding an equally-upset steed. "What're you going to do now, Carian scum? Cry? Pray to your worthless moon?" In Stahloretta's gloating, he failed to notice Robin's talisman glowing while he rose into the air.

"For the last time…" A half-decomposed, disembodied dragon head appeared above Robin as he hovered above Stahloretta. "I serve no one!" The dragon spewed an endless torrent of Scarlet Rot from its maws, crashing into Stahloretta and washing him away as he faded to dust.

-GREAT ENEMY FELLED-

Robin took a minute to collect himself as he leaned on the railing, picking up the war sickle Stahloretta had left. Gaius approached and held up his fist.

"Nice save." He stated as Robin bumped his fist with his own.

"You did most of the damage anyway."

"We'll call it a team effort then." Gaius spoke, then noticed Robin was waving goodbye to him under the assumption he would disappear, seeing as the boss of the area had been reduced to a fine paste. "Uh, why am I still here?"

"I… don't know…" With his arm pulled back to his side, Robin's eyebrow rose in its place while he looked around. "Is there another boss? A phase two?"

"You saw the 'great enemy felled' thing too, right? There's no way they would fake us out like that after that message."

"Guardian Ape had a fakeout after his defeat message…" His shoulders tensed, Robin kept his sword and spells out while he continued to scan the room. "It could be the Scarlet Swordswoman herself, attacking when we least expect it."

"Last I heard, she couldn't sprout wings and divebomb us like a nuke filled with the Bubonic Plague." Gaius, meanwhile, looked as relaxed as he would ever get. "And the boss jumping out of their arena to poke at us? What is this, Dark Souls II New Game Plus?"

"You never know, man." Sighing, Robin sheathed his weapons and turned to the exit. "Guess we better get going."


After touching the nearby site of grace and descending down both a spiraling set of stairs leaning against the Haligtree and a ladder after those stairs, Robin and Gaius found themselves inside a tower as they stood atop the descending elevator platform, waiting as the platform continued to lower itself.

"Have you even gotten this far into the game?" Robin asked, trying to find ways to break the awkward silence while they waited.

"Nope. I'm still stuck on Valikard." Gaius replied, arms folded while he glanced around.

"That guy? He's so easy, though. Just pick up the Serpent-Hunter and go to town on him."

"That's no fun. Beating those Stormruler bosses without the weapon they hand you on a silver platter is cooler." He smirked, sensing that Robin was annoyed.

"Fighting Yhorm without the Stormruler is the least fun thing I can imagine."

"Clearly, you haven't fought Dragon God. Because you're not a true fan like I am." The bait was on the hook now.

"Just because I'm not a masochist like you and the other Demon's Souls fans doesn't mean I'm not a true FromSoftware fan! I played all their games!" Grinning from ear-to-ear like a fisherman feeling the tug of their rod, Gaius verbally tore into Robin.

"Yeah, from 2011 onward! I bet you don't even know what Armored Core is! Or Evergrace!"

"S-Shut up! I'm as much of a fan as you are! You haven't even played Armored Core! You just parrot what people online say about it!" The annoyance in Robin's tone was as visible as flushed cheeks.

"Shadow Tower!"

"What?!" Robin shot back.

"Frame Gride!" Gaius' continued teasing seemed to be wearing Robin down, judging by his arched shoulders.

"Those aren't even real games! You're just making shit up!"

"They're real, and you haven't played any of them! Fake fan!" Mercifully, the elevator finally stopped and gave way to a sight that shocked both of them more than the truth that nobody in a fifty-mile radius of where they lived had even heard of Frame Gride:

-Elphael, Brace of the Haligtree-

The haunting, ethereal sight of a place secluded from both the world outside and time itself greeted Robin and Gaius as they stepped out of the tower housing the elevator. From where they stood, they could see the edge of Elphael as it rounded alongside the Haligtree; the entire castle-like area resembled a half circle with multiple layers of curving walkways. Towers stood strong against the crashing waves and connected to the main landmass via flying buttresses. Knights of white and gold cloth patrolled the central walkways in the distance, while other patrollers wore the familiar winged armor of the Cleanrot Knights.

"Wow, it's… it's beaut-" Robin said, breaking the introspective silence before Gaius cut him off.

"Is that…" He pointed his finger out to the farthest layer of the area and saw a hulking, gnarled mass of wood, Scarlet Rot, and spite wielding a large staff: an Erdtree Avatar. "No! Goddamnit! Why?!" Falling to his knees and pounding the stone ground with his fist, Gaius screamed in anguish. "Why is it always these stupid tree assholes?!"

"At least there can't be more than one of them here, right?" Robin tried to find the silver lining, judging by the fact that no area before had more than one Erdtree Avatar.

They went on their way, heading to the left of the elevator and fighting past a Cleanrot Knight before entering what looked to be a place of worship. Fancy lights styled to appear as white trees lined the room along with pillars, a statue, and benches. Leaning against one of the pillars was a woman with hair as white as ash yet accented with crimson that Robin recognized. "Hey, wait a minute… Sevillicent?"

Her arm was over her torso and holding her prosthetic, golden arm as her eyes picked up from the floor. A very tired yet determined look was in her eyes, as though something she had learned had shocked her to her core yet kept her going all the same. Robin swore the red highlights she had were overtaking more of her hair than last he had seen her.

"Hm? Ah, yes. The fortunes smile on us that we should meet in such a place." She spoke, a slightly lower intonation in her voice that Robin couldn't tell if she had before. "I would assume our purposes are aligned, then. Allow me to explain myself, then."

"Do you know her?" Gaius asked, whispering into Robin's ear but not quietly enough to prevent Sevillicent from hearing him. From his perspective, her twin ponytails looked like they were being overtaken by a crimson coloration.

"Yeah, I helped her cure her rot and she helped me beat up some stretchy dude on a hill full of dancing grandmas." Robin whispered back. Sevillicent did not look bemused.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat. Robin and Gaius both quickly focused back on her and apologized. "I am of the Scarlet Swordswoman's blood; of what capacity I know not. Be it sister, daughter, or an offshoot…" Her gaze trailed to the floor, her grip on her prosthetic tightening. "Whatever it may be, I am certain of the kinship between us."

"You're related to her?!" Robin was noticeably taken aback. "I… I never would've guessed." Gaius guessed they were related the moment he set eyes on her prosthetic arm, but was too busy staring at both Robin and Sevillicent's hair and noting they were the exact same shade of white to comment.

"There is something I must return to her. The will that was once her own." Sevillicent's voice broke through the awkward silence. "The dignity, the sense of self, that allowed her to resist the call of the Scarlet Rot." Both her fists closed and balled as her eyes narrowed. "The pride she abandoned, to meet Basdahn's measure."

"You uh… You need any help with that?" Robin asked, cocking his head to the side while Gaius chuckled.

"Dude, you should know by now that every cool thing an NPC does in these games happens off-screen." Gaius broke the mood while Robin glared back at him.

"That's not true! Siegward was cool!"

"And he was the exception, not the rule." Gaius' smug aura practically filled the room like an overcast cloud. Robin fired back with more arguments, to which Gaius had even more rebuttals locked and loaded. Sighing, Sevillicent put her golden arm to her forehead and shook her head as she walked out of the room.

"Patchs does cool stuff on-screen!" Their loud voices spilled out of the prayer room; several Haligtree guards tossed confused glances in their general direction before shrugging and continuing on their way.

"You think getting kicked off a ledge every Souls game is cool? What, do you think the bosses doing cool stuff on-screen counts too, then?"

"Kinda, yeah!" Robin spat back with the weakest clapback known to man. So weak was it that Gaius was dumbstruck by its ineptitude and left speechless; like a misfired arrow being carried entirely by the wind and still hitting the bullseye. "You can't tell me Ludwig regaining his humanity with the Moonlight Greatsword mid-fight isn't raw as hell!" Leaning forward, Robin pressed his advantage no matter how it had been acquired. Gaius' gut reaction was to claim that it was indeed raw, in that it left the taste of uncooked meat in his mouth after seeing it, but deep down, he knew it was peak fiction.

"Shut up. Let's get out of here." Gaius bolted out of the room, leaving Robin to himself as he fist-pumped the air and beamed brighter than the sun before following Gaius out of the prayer room.


Past a large gate leading into the inner wall of Elphael, Robin sat at a site of grace with a furrowed brow while the sounds of a fight outside could be heard. Screaming and covered with rot, Gaius was thrown into the room from outside before a large, wooden hand grabbed him by the leg.

"No! No no no no no!" Gaius tried to grab onto the stone to hold himself in place, only to be ripped off and dragged outside by the Erdtree Avatar and promptly smashed with a staff as though he were herbs to be stamped in a mortar.

-Furled Finger Gaius has died-

A few minutes passed before Gaius phased back into existence at Robin's side, scowling and looking less rotted than before. "Aren't you the dumbass who said there couldn't be more than one Erdtree Avatars here?"

"I'm just as upset as you are. Except I don't see the point in fighting that one, when we can just warp here." About half an hour ago, Robin and Gaius had sprinted into this room guarded by knights and tree alike and made a suicidal run for the grace, dying after touching it but still accomplishing their goal.

"It's about the principle of the stupid thing! You can't let those bozos live!" Standing up and feeling his curiosity get the better of him, Gaius went down the hall and a set of stairs to scope out what was ahead. The hall emptied into a T intersection, with a mass of roots to his left and an empty path to his right. Clambering atop the roots, he crouched down and was horrified to find three crystalian guards hunched over and facing a treasure chest. "Are you kidding me?! What is this, miniboss city?"

"What, is the Dragonslayer Armour hanging out in there too?" Robin called out, hearing Gaius' frustration through the walls.

"No!" Gaius returned, looking even more frustrated than before.

"Blood-starved Beast?" Robin raised his eyebrow yet still looked apathetic.

"Worse! It's those gangly crystal bastards! Three of them!"

"Three? How the hell is that fair?" Actual shock drew upon Robin's face as he watched Gaius return.

"Beats me. They sure love gank squads in this game, huh?" Dumping himself back at Robin's side, Gaius looked even more upset than when he had realized this area held two of his most hated enemy.

"...Do you want to summon another person?" Robin sighed after a few moments of silence passed. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small disc of gold powder and flicked it open, smearing the powder along his face as though he was applying a cosmetic powder.

"What the hell are you doing? That's not how you use those furlcalling things." Gaius stared at him in shock, jaw agape and too stunned to try and stop him. "You just… touch the powder."

"Oh, word." Robin continued to rub it along his face; Gaius was just glad it soon disappeared and wasn't permanently stuck to his visage. Summoning signs appeared on the floor around them, with the two of them inspecting them as though they were window shopping for an end table. "Ricken?"

"Nah. I heard he only got this far because he was carried by Vaike." Gaius passed over more summoning signs that he didn't recognize. "Hang on, I got an idea." Squatting down, Gaius pulled out a bony finger and began to scribble words on the ground.

"Why are you leaving a message?" Robin glanced back, unable to find any summons as well.

"So I can get the attention of someone who really should be playing this game more often." With his message written, Gaius went back to the site of grace and sat down. "And now we wait."

Moments later, a new summoning sign appeared, this one encircled by runes and glowing. Robin walked over and was surprised to see who it was left by.

"Chrom got this far? How?" He immediately accepted the summon without sparing a second thought.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

-Furled Finger Chrom summoned as a cooperator-

Materializing before them was their other friend, Chrom, who held a comically-large greatsword.

"Did you really have to ask for my help now?" He sighed, briefly putting his palm to his face before returning both hands to his greatsword. "I was at such a good part in my game too."

"I bet it was more of that anime trash." Gaius replied, Robin already knowing this was going to end poorly. Chrom looked as though his veins were going to rupture.

"Gaius, just shut up already." Robin blurted out, realizing that Chrom was mere moments away from de-summoning himself. "Thank you for helping us, Chrom. I know that marathon of those… uh…" Robin froze, realizing he had forgotten what series Chrom mentioned he was doing a marathon of. "That one with the guy with the red hair? Right? Bump system or something?"

"It's called Ys." Sighing, Chrom looked around and realized what area he was in. "Oh, come on! You summoned me here?! This zone sucks!"

"Yes, and you're gonna stay with us without leaving, or you're not getting a ride to class tomorrow." Gaius smirked, lording over the fact that his car wasn't in the shop for repairs unlike Chrom's.

"Ughhh… You know I don't like playing this game as often as you two chucklenuts do, right?" With another sigh added to the tally, Chrom focused his gaze back on Gaius.

"Not our fault your taste for kino has been ruined by those dumb anime games you keep playing." As Gaius spoke without thinking, Robin wanted to scream at him for poking the sleeping bear.

"Gaius… Where do you think FromSoftware is located?" Robin interrupted, unable to do nothing.

"Doesn't matter."

"They're in Japan. Every game they've made since Dark Souls has been filled with references to classic anime that goes right over your head because you have the smallest media palette known to man." Chrom gave an even more composed reply. "If I just suddenly started calling every military shooter game 'cartoon', that wouldn't make a whole lot of sense now, would it?"


Unfortunately for Robin and Chrom, the argument with Gaius continued well after they had dispatched the crystal soldiers and ventured further into Elphael. What awaited them was a haunting sight; the interior of the Haligtree being emptied out into a large, spacious cavern full of discolored orange liquids. The pools of rot emptied into a yawning abyss at their right as they slowly walked along the giant branches towards the pools.

Robin felt as though they were invading a city that just wanted to be left alone, a city battered and bruised by tragedy that left it crippled. But unlike the scoured land of Caelid, which seemed to reject the rot until finally giving in once it had been thoroughly conquered by the crimson plague, Elphael seemed to embrace the rot as a shield against outsiders. He would've vocalized this idea, were it not for the two stooges behind him still arguing.

"They're still anime games." Gaius had not budged an inch, part of him determined to see how long Chrom would take the bait for, and the other just bored.

"You are actually insufferable, you know that?" Chrom looked absolutely miserable. "You don't even play half the games you gas up, yet you give me shit for putting my money where my goddamn mouth is."

"Let's Plays are a valid way to experience games. I bet you think visual novels are real games too." At this point Gaius was just scattering bait across the entire metaphysical lake of Chrom's mind and hoping he would catch something the size of a whale.

"You want some fringe 'out-there' stuff?" Chrom yelled back while they crossed the branch and made it to the giant pool of rot, which was less disgusting than being in this argument. "You want avant-garde? Go play Drakengard, you coward!"

"What the hell is Drakengard?" Taken aback, Gaius asked further. Robin was busy being in agony that he had to trudge through a pool of rot with these two jokers behind him.

"It sucks ass, but it's still more interesting than Demon's Souls."

"No way. Demon's Souls is the best game ever made." Gaius couldn't even keep a straight face as he spoke.

"Your bait sucks, Gaius." Robin snapped back when he wasn't distracted by both the rot seeping into his boots and the small shrimp-like things in the pool that needed to be dispatched. "If I knew I'd be stuck wandering this place with two Redditors arguing in my ear, I would've just stayed in solo play."

"Isn't Drakengard by that guy who made that game with the android girl with the huge ass?" Gaius seemed to ignore Robin, either consciously or unconsciously.

"No, he made a game about existentialism and finding the meaning of life in a world devoid of meaning." Chrom also continued on as though Robin said nothing. "But yeah, the main character has a big butt."

A faint chill ran through the air. Robin seemed to be the only one who felt it right as he took a swig of his Crimson Tears and subsequently almost choked on it. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he felt like he was being watched.

-Invaded by Bloody Finger Tharja-

"Guys? Did you just feel that?" Scanning the area like a hawk, Robin saw no signs of an invader but was still unnerved.

"He sounds like a riot at parties." Neither of them responded to him, too absorbed in their conversation that had the philosophical depth of two hogs squealing at each other. By the time Robin turned his gaze back to his front, the invader had revealed herself. Standing at the edge of the pool was a woman with black hair and a katana dripping with blood.

"Hell no!" To Robin, seeing a Rivers of Blood user was akin to staring directly at the Grim Reaper while it approached with lightning speed, which was less terrifying than realizing he recognized who said user was. "Not you! Anyone but you!" He began screaming and sprinting back towards the direction his group had come from.

"Huh? What the hell has got you all-" Gaius followed his gaze, noticed Tharja and her bloody katana, and connected the dots. "Oh. Oh no."

"What's the matter, dumbasses? Bad at video games?" Tharja called out, laughing to herself as she watched Robin and Gaius practically trip over themselves trying to get away from her. She didn't even have to move an inch to reduce them to blubbering babies.

"No, we just hate fighting meta slaves!" Robin responded, having enough interactions with Tharja to know that any situation with her involved would end horribly. He still had not mentally recovered from hearing her refer to herself as 'Stahl's Discord Kitten,' either.

"You two are overreacting. It can't be that bad." Chrom smirked to himself as he stood his ground and drew his blade. Resembling a slab of steel more than an actual armament, Chrom's sword dragged along the ground as he trudged towards Tharja. His pace quickened the closer he got, eventually reaching a full sprint that culminated in him leaping off the ground and bringing the full weight of his blade upon her.

Or rather, he would've, if he wasn't struck in the air by an incorporeal blade of blood that extended past Tharja's sword. He plummeted like a waterfowl bird shot by a hunting rifle, landing face-first in the pool of rot while Tharja stood over him.

Scrambling out of the cavernous room, Robin and Gaius stumbled over themselves as they made it back to the area they had started in. The site of grace's inaccessibility mocked them while they stood there, paralyzed with fear in a room shaped like what they were about to receive: an L.

-Furled Finger Chrom has died-

"We are so screwed, man. What the hell are we gonna do?" Robin paced back and forth like a rat trapped in a maze.

"We need to get outta here!" Talking before thinking, Gaius sprinted out of the room into the open air outside and frantically looked in every direction except right in front of him. Otherwise, he would not have slammed into the backside of an Erdtree Avatar as though he was a cartoon character. "Gah!" He barely had time to vocalize his fear before he was crushed underneath the staff of the irate wooden giant.

-Furled Finger Gaius has died-

"No! Realizing he was by his lonesome now, Robin backed up against a wall and stared at the Erdtree Avatar with eyes wider than the full moon. Thankfully, the miniboss seemed ambivalent at best regarding him and went back to his post. Un-thankfully, a certain ghost of crimson was approaching up the stairs to Robin's right.

"Wow, you suck at this game." Tharja spoke with a voice that was half-mocking and half-gleeful as Robin leaned against the wall, shaken with fear and trembling. "You're so afraid of a strong weapon that you'll run away and almost piss yourself instead of fighting me."

"Who said anything about not fighting?" He yelled in reply, feeling courage surge through his veins as he rolled towards her. With the grip of his sword tight in his hands, he prepared to land a quick strike on her.

"Catch flame!" Fire burst forth from her fingers and singed him, staggering and trapping him in place.

"Ow!" Despite the initial shock, Robin realized he hadn't actually taken that much damage from the flame. But then he soon realized damage was not Tharja's intent. Twin streaking blades of blood slashed across his chest, popping him like a balloon as he collapsed to the ground. Tharja stood before him as he faded away, laughing to herself and pressing her hands to her head.

"Get good, loser."

-YOU DIED-


Robin stared at the summoning signs for Chrom and Gaius like a cat staring at an open door; an overwhelming wave of indecisiveness flooded and drowned him in its apathetic waters.

"Ughhh…" Memories of their argument filled his waterlogged head and clogged his ears. "The developers wanted this place to be atmospheric…" The sky outside was a dirty shade of beige, drenching the entire area in a melancholic vibe that Robin hadn't been able to notice when he was being followed by two terminally-online nerds that didn't know when to shut up. "I can go it alone, right?" He asked no one in particular, steeling himself and walking away from the summoning signs.


Hopping from buttress to buttress, Robin found himself towards what he assumed was the inner rear of Elphael. The further he went into the city, the more rotted and decayed it became. Dried moss and dead foliage lined practically every surface, yet the inhabitants seemingly cared more about defending their home than tending to it.

"Is the Scarlet Swordswoman actually here?" Robin spoke aloud to himself, standing atop a square roof and looking down a hole. Maybe her mere presence was enough to decay the lands around her, albeit at a slower rate than what had befell Caelid? Is that why the Haligtree lay dying?

Descending through the roof and landing in the rafters of a church, Robin fought through more prawn-like entities that still put him at a loss for their place in this world. They obviously seemed to worship the Scarlet Swordswoman, but why did they have to look like shrimp?

An idea began to form in his head, revolving around the Lake of Rot and the lack of anything related to the Scarlet Swordswoman in it. Was the Scarlet Rot an outside entity birthed by the lake, and the swordswoman happened to be afflicted with it? Maybe that's why these followers were rather chitinous; they were aliens that just so happened to have similar goals to the knights of Cleanrot and the Haligtree.

It also dawned on Robin that he might be a tad overleveled, as he was cutting through these shelled foes with enough ease to let his mind wander and ponder vague, uncertain lore. With the last of these enemies defeated, he took a minute to bask in the atmosphere of the church before continuing deeper in.

A descent atop an elevator had passed before Robin found himself in a long room overtaken by branches. A site of grace laid ahead, its golden gleam calling towards him as he passed by a branching path to his left. But in that path lay a sight he had never seen: a humongous blooming flower of crimson that was swarmed by butterflies. While it certainly caught his attention, his focus remained on activating the site of grace before investigating.

Past the site of grace, a churning wall of golden fog came into view after a small descent down a staircase. This must be the end; he was sure of it. Whomever or whatever was beyond that wall would mark the end of his journey to this secreted, dying land that wished he had never seen it.

With the site of grace glowing and able to be used, Robin doubled back and entered the side room with the large flower. It dwarfed him in size, filling the room as its petals gnarled and clawed their way upwards. The scarlet butterflies he recognized from any location wrought with rot, but here they seemed to congregate around the flower as though it was their matriarch.

"Oh! Wait, right! The trailer!" A memory flickered in his head, specifically the image of the Scarlet Swordswoman slamming her sword into Basdahn's head and unleashing a massive blooming flower identical to this one. He had seen it in a trailer for the game a while ago, but hadn't thought about it until now. "But… that trailer called Basdahn a different name… Why was the name different?"

That thought continued to creep in his mind and eat away at him. The characters in this game didn't always have these names. Basdahn's name started with an R, he was sure of that, but what it was exactly he couldn't identify. And their faces were different too. Sevillicent didn't always have white hair, but why that was he could not say. It was as though his memories themselves were overcast and clouded by something.

But there would be time to think about that later. Exiting the room and staring at the fog wall, Robin prepared himself for whatever could be behind that. It could be an Ulcerated Tree Spirit, or maybe two of them, or maybe a Crucible Knight AND an Ulcerated Tree Spirit if the developers were feeling particularly bold today. Considering how the rest of this area loved to reuse existing bosses as normal enemies, Robin was convinced that an Ulcerated Tree Spirit was right around the corner any minute now, waiting to fight him in a cramped arena.

Taking a deep breath, Robin pressed forward and past the golden fog, emerging into a spacious, circular area that seemed to be the lowest depths of Elphael. Directly across from him was the tree's base, sunlight shining down from above onto the tree's roots. A shallow pool of water formed in the middle of the space, barely ankle-high and filled with floating lilies that also lined the edges of this spacious puddle.

What especially caught his eye was that embedded in the tree roots themselves seemed to be a large, wooden statue of a girl. But its bottom half was knotted and frayed, almost as though it had been forcibly removed from the roots. As the tree's tendril's reached the ground, they began to miscolor and shift to an ashen tint, and something else was waiting at where the ground met the roots:

A one-armed woman, sitting on a chair and reaching her hand up to caress the tree's wooden base. Her long, crimson and wavy hair draped over her shoulder as she remained statuesque in her stillness, yet through her hair could be seen what appeared to be her eyes. Her bruised, blackened eyes that resembled yawning chasms instead of irises.

Lying at her feet was a winged helmet made of gold and a prosthetic arm of similar coloration. Scattered leaves from the tree had fallen atop them, likely indicating how long they had remained there. But as Robin approached, a strong gust of wind began to pick up. Her red dress began to blow in the wind, along with her white cape that was nearly triple the length of her crimson locks.

The leaves were thrown off the arm and helm, stealing Robin's focus until he noticed her golden feet began to move. Too shocked to vocalize anything, his gaze slowly drew upwards as he watched her legs shift, bend and finally remain upright as she stood up.

"I dreamt for so long." Her voice and her prosthetic joints sounded weary, creaking from rest as she bent down. "My flesh was dull gold…" Reaching with her remaining arm, the socket exposing her blackened flesh was briefly shown to Robin. In that moment, he felt like he had shared an intimate moment with her, more than anyone had in the last century. But as quickly as the moment came, it left as she fitted the prosthetic arm on her empty shoulder. "And my blood, rotted."

Sparks flew along with a mechanical clang bouncing around the cavernous depths as she attached her arm. "Corpse after corpse, left in my wake." She reached down again, her scarred and flake-crusted hand again exposed as it touched the helmet on the ground. "As I awaited her return." Gripping her helmet, she stood up and slowly set it atop her visage. A sword that initially appeared crude due to its simple shape and lack of hilt, yet contained an elegant pattern along its base, had sprung from the palm of her golden arm. It was affixed to her arm itself; an extension as natural to her as the fingers on her hand.

Endless, surging terror filled Robin's lungs as he realized she hadn't even looked at him yet, not taking an opportunity to size him up as he was doing to her. "Heed my words:" Her hand removed itself from her helmet as her face turned towards him, her emotions concealed behind twin masks of gold and rot. In their place was an enmity recognizable by her posture -her tensed shoulders and sword in hand were a dead giveaway- but unknowable in its quantity. "I am Corlenia, Blade of Sumiquella."

Her arm retreated upwards towards her breast, bringing her sword with it as it clicked with a metallic whir. Sparks flew from the golden steel and into the wind as she gripped the bottom of the blade, only to be further blown away as she slowly sliced the blade through the air before her. More petals were kicked into the air by this movement, all the while Robin's heart was racing and begging to break free from his chest in anxiety. "And I have never known defeat."

"Holy shit…" Frozen in fear, Robin couldn't react to anything. Any attempt he made to try and move was met with stiff resistance by his joints locking up, even as Corlenia slowly approached him. Here she was, the Scarlet Swordswoman herself; in the flesh and preparing to chop him to pieces.

Her slow gait quickly shifted to a sprint towards him, her blade snapping to the side of her arm as though she was cocking a shotgun. In the blink of an eye, she had closed the distance between them and unfurled her sword, swiping it thrice in a motion akin to slapping someone across the jaw. Robin was launched backwards by this attack and barely given time to get up before she was upon him.

Using her left foot as a centerpiece, Corlenia pirouetted with her blade outstretched and scooping along the ground. Robin rolled even further backwards in a feeble attempt to escape, only to be met with the yawning golden abyss of her helmet pressing against his forehead as she grabbed him by the chest. No matter how far he tried to get away, she seemed to be double his speed and twice as ferocious.

She drew her sword back with her other hand while Robin winced, sweating as though he sat in a furnace while Corlenia's iron grip refused to let go. In one swift motion, her blade effortlessly pierced his chest and protruded out of his back before she withdrew it and watched him crumple to the ground.

"I am Corlenia, Blade of Sumiquella." As though he needed a reminder, she spoke as he crumbled to dust.

-YOU DIED-


Robin awoke not in the room outside the depths of a giant tree, but instead his own room in the Shepherds' house. Sunlight bathed the entire room, including his bed which was curiously missing someone that usually woke up after he did: his girlfriend, who was noticeably at his desk in front of his pc and wearing his headset.

"Huh…?" Robin barely managed to grumble a single word out, his mind still awash with memories of what he now realized was a dream. The fusion between Malenia and Cordelia was something he wasn't going to forget for a long time, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Oh, good morning." Despite her ears being covered, Cordelia seemed to notice Robin stirring as she swiveled the wheeled chair she sat on to face him. "Sorry about being rude last night. I just got frustrated trying to set up something on your computer."

"You… What did you set up?" Robin rocketed awake, immediately rushing to her side to make sure his browser didn't have five extra toolbars and a fancy cursor. "Please God tell me it wasn't malware…"

"Relax, I know what I'm doing." She flashed him a reassuring smile which was neither reassuring or made him smile, but instead he focused on what she was playing. It looked like a farming game where you rode horses and tended to farmland, but with graphics crustier than Robin expected. His PC wasn't that old, either.

"Is that…" Robin quickly noticed the icon of a dolphin on his taskbar. Everything began to click into place, along with his gut sinking.

"It's Harvest Moon." As Cordelia spoke, Robin noticed she was using the keyboard to play the game. "I think the farm animals are very cute."

"Don't you want to play with a controller or something?" With as much precision as he could muster, he darted around the question of asking his girlfriend how she discovered emulation and if she knew she had most likely acquired an ISO illegally.

"I played Stardew Valley just fine on a keyboard, remember?" Her focus turned back to the game as Robin took a step back. "Setting Dolphin up was more of a pain in the ass than playing this with a keyboard, that's for sure."

"Oh God, you know what you're doing?" Robin's eyebrow rose as he flopped onto the bed. "Here I thought you just stumbled your way into pirating some games." Even looking at Cordelia was too painful for him right now; the mere sight of red hair was enough to make him hear the sound of that woman's sword slicing through him.

"Piracy is such an ugly word for it. Nobody cares if you download an old game off the internet, and it's not like they're selling the game anyway."

"Yeah, but…" Robin's eyes began to droop and feel weary. "Nevermind. I'm going back to bed. Can you name a chicken or something after me?"

"I already named my chickens after Sumia and Lissa. Can you settle for a sheep?"

"Fffineeee…" Robin's words slurred as he fell back to sleep, too tired to try and shill for a multi-billion dollar corporation. He just prayed his dreams would be uneventful, or nothing at best.


To be continued in Part II