Rick tried to move quick as possible but also as gently as he could as Lesley's condition started to decline more where Rick stopped dead in his tracks when Lesley had stopped breathing.
" Lesley…. Les!" Rick carefully shook her " Alice get that ambulance now. We can't wait for Alan and Monica."
Alice got on the phone as quick as possible as Rick moved Lesley to the floor where he started CPR until the EMT's were able to get to them
" Come on Lesley… I need you to fight. I can't do this by myself, I need you." Rick continued CPR when the paramedics got to them and took over.
" Is your wife on any medications?"
" She's on anti rejection medication for her heart and she's on pain and anti nausea medications she's a Cancer patient."
Rick paced and paced as he had to wait after they finally got to General and if Lesley was okay or not and not knowing that the cancer had returned for sure only to find out Lesley was terminal didn't help him to relax.
" Jessie I hate to back you in a corner but I'm gonna go crazy here… Has it really returned?"
Jessie took a minute " Rick I would love to give you an answer but Lesley needs to be the one to give that to you and she wants to do that, but she is scared to tell you at the expense that she's gonna be the one that will hurt you." Jessie answered
" I'll act surprised if I have to Jessie but please I'm begging you now to tell me…. Has the cancer really returned?" Rick asked again alittle desperate
Now Jessie saw just how scared Rick was and did what she swore she wasn't gonna do " Yes Rick it has"
" Rick everything is gonna be alright…. Lesley has always been a strong fighter." Jessie sat down beside Rick in the waiting area after Rick felt his knees buckle
" Just how bad is it this time Jessie?"
" They've stopped her treatment Rick after the last time she was here. There's nothing more they can really do except recommend you bring her home into hospice care." Jessie tried to answer as gently and as easily as possible.
" Are you trying to tell me that everybody except for Monica and Steve or Alan have decided to just give up and just let Lesley's health get worse? Is that what you're trying to tell me?!"
" Rick I understand, believe me I do but getting angry isn't gonna help Lesley. She needs us right now more than before."
" It's hard not to get angry Jessie…. That is my wife in there and she's fighting for her life."
~~~
" Just as I was expecting when she was brought in Steve…. Tumors here, there and here. Realistically Steve, she could have up to a few hours at best if she's lucky." Dr Richards explained
Steve was stunned and had to take a moment to take in what he was told " I was afraid that might be the case given her last head CT scan which showed a large mass along the left temporal lobe and now there near the brainstem…. Does Jessie and Rick know?" Steve asked
" I'm about to head to speak with her family shortly. I think it's important that they have their time." Dr Richards replied.
Steve and Dr Richards started to head to evaluate Lesley again after a few hours when they met Jessie in the hall... And Jessie knew it wasn't good by the look of Steve's face
" I know that look Steve what is it... How bad is Lesley's condition?" Jessie looked from Dr Richards and Steve a good couple of times
Jessie Steve and the oncologist took a seat in the ICU lounge to talk while Rick stayed at Lesley's side hoping she would be able to hear him
" I've been straightforward with you as she first became a patient with me... Lesley's condition is very serious... As we expected, the cancer has spread further into her vital systems such as her respiratory and her renal system its also spread further into her cerebral fluid around the brain where there are 2 large masses.. one is located on the left temporal lobe and there is a mass that has developed on her brainstem... Speaking with the consulting physician on her medical case, they have discontinued any further treatment as of right now effective immediately." Dr. Richards explained straightforward
" I don't understand why you and the consultants wanna just pull everything... That is my daughter in there... She's fighting for her life and you all just want to expect me as her mother and Rick as her husband to just agree to stop her medical care!! Especially while she still hasn't told him." Jessie stood up
" Jessie you know I love Lesley just as you do I don't want to see her go through this however, I do agree with Dr Richards's finding and his recommendation for stopping treatment... The main thing we have to look at is, we will do everything we can to help keep her as comfortable as possible." Steve answered
" That's my daughter in there Steve, don't you ask me to agree to this!" Jessie turned and walked off to pull herself together.
~~~
" Don't you do this Lesley don't you ask me to say goodbye to you I don't know how to do that nevermind how to plan to do that... I need you Lesley, I need my little bug and the kids, they need you too." Rick pleaded with Lesley to keep fighting.
Getting ready to go to see where Steve and Jessie were, Rick was about to get up when Lesley started to wake up but barely held a little grip on Rick's hand when she started to make a slight noise before he stepped away
" I'm right here, little bug I'm with you always... I'm not gonna go anywhere, not until that involves taking you home..." Rick showed a half smile
After evaluating Lesley's condition again Steve and Dr Richards had determined that they had to trach Lesley to avoid further respiratory issues.
" You're gonna be okay Lesley… I'm not gonna leave your side."
" You've ne-never been a good liar... What hap-happened..."
" Everything's okay Les... You're gonna be okay... You spiked a fever and you nearly went into respiratory arrest. I had to move you to the floor at the house when you stopped breathing on me... You really scared me Lesley I thought I was about to lose you." Rick replied while sitting beside Lesley in the ICU
" I'm sor-sorry... I ne-never meant to scare you that way..." Lesley looked at Rick with a few tears that started to escape
" Lesley you have nothing to be sorry for... These things happen at times... It's my job to make sure that my little bug is taken care of and to see to it that you get better so I can take you anywhere you want to go besides taking you home..." Rick replied and wiped away the tears from Lesley's face.
" I love you Rick... So much... I just can't imagine being without having you on my side for when I need you or just because I wanna ha-have you with me..." Lesley gave Rick a kiss before he told her to rest…
" Well you won't have to worry about that. I'm gonna be right here every second of the day. You might actually start finding me to be annoying but I just might find that worth it on my end."
" You know…. You know it's co-come back?"
Rick nodded but refused to leave her side through anything unless he had to step away. " Everything is gonna be alright Lesley I'm gonna be here no matter what we have to face together."
" How long have you known that it came back…?" Lesley slightly tried to turn her head towards to look at Rick.
" Jessie confirmed it for me but I suspected for awhile. It's alright Lesley…. Everything is okay and soon I'm going to take you home."
" I want to go home to just be with you and the family…. I don't want to be here in the hospital attached to machines when I go."
" I don't want to hear that you want to give up… I want you to fight Lesley because I need you… I don't think I can live without you."
~~~
Steve stayed with Jessie as Dr Richards had to see other patients
" Jessie I know that this is very hard on you... You and Lesley have always been pretty close to one another.."
" Yeah we have Steve... She's helped me through alot of hard issues and she's always stood by me when things were always bad between Phil and I. We can't just sit back we have to find a way to help her Steve" Jessie replied
" Take a leave of absence Jessie and go spend whatever time you can... I think Lesley would like to have that.." Steve suggested..
" I'm sorry Steve… I don't mean to take my frustration out on you. I'm not really handling this well. "
" Jessie I understand Lesley has touched and become important to alot of people around here over the years. And to see her having to go through this is never gonna make it any easier. Go and spend some time Jessie."
Jessie stood up to head into Lesley's cubicle
" Oh I can come back if she's resting..." Jessie suggested quietly
" It's alright Jessie... I was just about to come and look for you... I think she could use alittle company with you. She's alittle upset at me that I put you into a corner the way I did… just to get you to tell me that the cancer had come back.." Rick said softly as Lesley was asleep.
" Rick it's alright you were desperate and you were scared…. The important thing is we're here and we will help her the best way we can..."
Jessie sat beside Lesley in the ICU while Rick stepped out to get some air and after he went to call the house to check on the kids...
" Webber residence" Alice answered
" Alice it's me... I thought I'd check on the kids while I have a few minutes..." Rick asked
" Riley is upstairs asleep in his room and the girls are in their room doing whatever... How's Dr Webber?" Alice replied
" She's fighting hard as she's always done... But her stats are very low. They um they don't think she'll make it through the night. And ah it's back…. the cancer is back and it looks like they can't really do anything for her this time." Rick answers
" Tell her I'm praying for her and I hope that she gets better soon..." Alice commented as Jesslyn came down the stairs.
" I will Alice... Thank you..." Rick said before getting off the phone
Jessie knew what she was about to tell Lesley, but waited to when Rick had came in to check on her
" She is so fragile Jessie and I don't know that I can stand it..."
" Rick she'll get better and she will make it through the night... Don't you start thinking you're gonna lose her right now because we're not going to, she's a fighter and she's gonna keep fighting." Jessie replied
" Jessie, I'm trying to keep an open mind, believe me I am... But it really scares me that I will lose her." Rick stayed at Lesley's side.
" Rick, it scares me too... Lesley has always supported and been there when I needed a friend to count on but we have to hold our heads up because that right now is what she needs from us..." Jessie exclaimed just as Lesley started to wake up again
" We're right here Les, everything is okay... Is there something we can do for you?" Rick asked softly
Lesley hardly was able to really tell Rick what she had to tell him but she was grateful that he was by her side when she really needed him the most..
" Don't try to talk sweetheart... Just rest and get your strength up so I can get you home." Rick said to her while he held her hand.
Rick stayed at Lesley's side from morning to night until it came time that he and Jessie were able to take her home.
" She's gonna be alright Rick, you know that. She's beaten the odds before she'll do it again" Jessie pointed out
" As arrogant as I have always been, it's killing me that I can't help Lesley…" Rick replied
" Just by sitting here Rick, that is what's gonna help her feel alot better."
Not realizing it then that Lesley had tried to tell him what she feared was gonna be the last, Lesley had slipped into a deep coma where Rick jumped thinking something was wrong
" Rick you have to calm down Lesley is gonna fight this she's gonna get through this just as she's done before.. Lesley is a fighter."
" I know Jessie. I remind myself everyday or at least I try to anyway. " Rick stood up to look through the window to Lesley's cubical.
Rick stepped out to get some air hoping he would be able to clear is head but it didn't last very long as the reality started to set in that his worst fears may be true that not only was Lesley sick again but this time she was to be terminal and by that point he wouldn't be able to help her get better.
~~~
Over the next few weeks Rick spent day and night back to back at Lesley's side and refused to be away from her at any point of the day as there was still no change in her condition
" Rick you need to get some sleep you can't keep going on this way Lesley would not approve and you know this." Jessie insisted
" Jessie I can't leave her not like this, She just looks so damn fragile and I can't help her. What am I supposed to do? I don't know what i'm supposed to do."
" Well right now Rick you need to keep yourself in good health and running yourself this way is not gonna help her nevermind yourself. You need to put yourself first this time and if she were awake, she'd tell you that." Jessie answered and insisted again in telling him to head home to get a decent amount of sleep.
Rick finally agreed to head home to get some sleep and maybe even something to eat but in no way was he any less concern free or anything of the sorts as Lesley was in the ICU barely holding on by a thread. The fear that she wasn't gonna make it continued to outlast or run his entire mind even when he tried to get some sleep he felt that he couldn't get that much sleep until he was to bring Lesley home where she could be able to do what she wants to do without much of any problems.
" Alice thank you for staying here with Riley and the girls, I know that the girls are capable to watch and be here on their own with Riley but it means a great deal to Lesley and myself that you've stayed with them"
" Dr. Webber, it's no problem… you guys are special to me too and to see Dr. Webber struggle, it's just a shame."
