" Lesley you will be alright... You need to rest, Rick is gonna be here any moment." Jessie replied

As if Jessie knew Rick was there, he happened to have been stepping off the elevator when she looked over after getting Lesley to get some sleep.

" How is she?!" Rick got out quick

" Lesley is okay she's still holding her own, she's still having alot of trouble with her breathing but so far she's stable..."

Rick stepped in and sat next to Lesley while she was asleep but she knew he was there when he just held her hand close to him

" I'm right here sweetheart, I'm right by your side… I just hope you can hear me."

Rick couldn't tell... But he knew something was wrong and sensing that Lesley has been afraid to actually confirm his worst fear, it didn't help his fears any better than it would've if she weren't afraid to tell him.

" You're gonna be alright Lesley... And I'll be right by your side when you wake up."

With the sudden urge starting to show as Lesley had woken up, Rick quickly grabbed a small box or anything he could think of when Lesley started to feel like she was gonna be vomiting again

" I'm so-sorry..." Lesley started coughing shortly after she was able to relax from the consistent vomiting.

" Lesley don't be sorry, not for anything... We will figure all of this out... You will get better" Rick brushed a strand of hair out of her face before giving Lesley a kiss on her forehead

" I wis-wish you were right..."

Rick stepped out for alittle bit to call the kids while Jessie sat in with Lesley for a moment

" Jessie... How am I supposed to tell him..." Lesley reached for Jessie's hand

" Would you like if I go ahead and tell him? Would that help to make it alittle easier for you?" Jessie replied

" I don't want... I don't want to hurt him." Lesley started to cry

" Lesley I'm gonna tell you something... Out of the time that I have known you and the years that you've supported me through my difficult times.. Lesley you couldn't hurt anybody even if you tried it just isn't who you are but we can't hide it from him forever." Jessie sat down beside Lesley.

~~~

A few days later after bringing Lesley home from the hospital, Rick had gotten up an hour earlier than usual to start his day as he went to make Lesley something light even though he started to see that Lesley was having slight difficulty with keeping anything down and she was starting have more difficulties breathing at night again which didn't settle his fear that something was really wrong or even worse that his intuition was right that the cancer had come back and that time she was dying. Rick carefully carried the tray to the bedroom as he heard her trying to get ready for the day... He had just set aside a small plate for her even if it was something small it was at least something for her to get into her system.

" Rick, you really didn't have to go through all this trouble for me... " Lesley said with a small smile trying to hide not feeling good.

" Lesley for you, it's never trouble besides, you need to eat alittle of something before you leave for the hospital." Rick replied and leaned down for a kiss. " I promised a long time ago Lesley I would take care of you and that's exactly what I plan to do... You also need to get your weight up... You've been doing that alot again lately"

" Doing what?" Lesley looked up at Rick with alittle curiosity

" Losing weight again... You really are starting to scare me, especially because I don't know why treatment has done nothing to help you" Rick replied while pulling Lesley for a hug

" Im ok... I promise you... Could you lend me a ride for the hospital?" Lesley ducked her head abit as she asked Rick to give her a ride for the hospital.

" Little bug I saw that don't do that… don't ever be embarrassed to ask me to drop you off, you know you can ask me anything and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Rick pulled Lesley in for a long hug before they left for the hospital. While on the way however, Rick noticed how quiet and withdrawn Lesley had become until he parked in the hospital parking lot.

" Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Rick asked gently

" I promise Jessie will call you the second something is up or if I really need you... I'll be okay..." Lesley took hold of Rick's hand.

Lesley was just heading inside to check in and to grab her messages when she suddenly had the feeling like she was gonna be sick again and this time she made a b-line to the bathroom... After about 20 minutes she managed to pull herself together to clean herself up so she wasn't late for the clinic.

" Lesley come and sit with me... Had another bad morning again?" Jessie urged Lesley to go over to the lounge.

" Jessie it's a nightmare... I mean this morning I was feeling okay until I came here ... Rick noticed that I've started to lose weight again Jessie he is so afraid and I just… I don't know how to tell him. How do I tell him and the kids that it could be a matter of weeks that I'm going to be gone " Lesley got out

" Hey everything is okay because you have beaten down odds far too many times with everything you went through. You went from having severe injuries from that accident to becoming a mom to needing a transplant and to finally getting back to your work... You have come a long way... And I will tell you Lesley I am proud of you for that...I will help you ..." Jessie gave Lesley a hug.

" Could you... Could you stay with me... I don't want to be alone" Lesley asked

" Course I will... Hey you are like my daughter blood or not and you always will be I would do whatever you need me to do for you" Jessie smiled

After a few hours Lesley felt she needed to take a break but couldn't let go of what she still needed to tell Rick, she knew she had to tell him but the fact remained that she knew it would hurt him that she was dying and she felt that telling him was only gonna hurt him in the long run

" Dr. Webber..." Lesley said while in her office

" Lesley it's Alan, I just got the labs back for a patient... And I called Monica for a cardiac consult. I can use a second consultation if you're available." Alan replied

" Thanks Alan, i'll be there as soon as I can..." Lesley replied and hung up the phone to call Georgia on the main desk.

" Georgia... Could you call Rick at the house and have him meet me later?..." Lesley asked

~~~

Rick was at Kelly's trying to keep himself focused on anything else while waiting to hear from Lesley incase something was wrong but to him it seemed as if it took forever in eternity as he waited for her call.

" Rick I'm sure Lesley will be alright and she'll call if something comes up..." Claudia said, trying to ease Rick's mind.

" I'm sure you're right…." Rick replied

the phone had rung and he felt relief that this was gonna be the call he was hoping for at least he thought until he answered and it was Georgia instead of Lesley and that had Rick terrified

" Rick thank god I found you Rose had said i'd find you down there..." Georgia said

" Is Lesley alright nothing happened has there?!" Rick replied trying not to panic

" Rick Lesley is ok she's with Jessie in the lounge, but I think you better get over here Jessie said she seemed alittle upset and she's asked for you to get over here as soon as possible to quote exact she said it was somewhat urgent" Georgia said as direct as she can

" Tell Lesley I will be right there... " Rick couldn't get off the phone fast enough to get over to the hospital where Lesley was waiting for him with Jessie.

~~~

Jessie waited with Lesley as Rick was on his way but Jessie's concern continued to get higher as Lesley had to run to the bathroom again but she had yet to return to the lobby

" Lesley?!" Rick got out when he walked into the lobby

" She's okay Rick, she just had to head for the bathroom again before we go to head home" Jessie said.

" I'm really concerned about her... She's been up at night off and on for a good while... But she had alot of trouble the last couple of nights after I brought her home and this morning it seemed like she was trying to hold something back and come to think about it she also did it a week and a half ago when I had stopped by just to visit..." Rick replied and added " where is she im sure she's gonna want to get home to relax and hopefully get some rest"

Lesley took a few minutes to get herself together again while she reminded herself that everything was gonna be fine when she challenged herself to get up to try her best but going to reach for the door, Lesley started to feel lightheaded enough that she took another fall and had collapsed before she could have a chance of at least making it into the hall but not before she stopped breathing as Jessie was about to check on her.

" Lesley... can you hear me?" Jessie called out to her. "Lesley?!"

Jessie moved as fast as she could to get to the desk and reach for the phone when Lesley was unresponsive and barely had a pulse." This is Jessie Brewer on the main desk I need to have both Dr. Alan Quartermaine and Dr Steve Hardy and Dr. Richards paged immediately on an emergency stat... thank-you" Jessie quickly went back to Lesley but not before she alerted Rick in the lounge who didn't hesitate to get to Lesley...

" Lesley sweetheart... Can you hear me, it's Rick?" Rick shouted and reached for her wrist

" Jessie call a code now and get Monica or Cunningham stat" Rick moved quickly to start CPR when Lesley wasn't breathing and Rick then lost her pulse just as he had told Jessie to.

Shortly after about an hour Rick waited while Alan and Steve were looking at Lesley's recent medical exam and blood work and Monica was in looking over her cardiac enzymes from her blood work.

" I ran these twice Steve Lesley has tumors here, there, and along on her liver, kidneys, pancreas, her lungs, and her latest head CT scan results show 2 16mm tumors on her left temporal lobe and then here close to her brainstem and gathering that she had been seeing Dr Richards for treatment and after awhile, she discontinued it… she's known for awhile that the cancer had returned but that she was terminal." Alan said and followed Steve out of the room

" Alan what's going on...what is it that we're dealing with..." Rick pleaded as Alan and Steven sat with him and Jessie in the lounge

" Easy Rick, let Steve and Alan tell you what's going on" Jessie said trying to calm Rick even if it didn't do 100%

" We're not gonna lie to you Rick, Lesley's condition is serious Lesley has multiple large inoperable masses on her liver, kidneys, her pancreas, her lungs and it's also begun to spread further where she also has a 16mm mass along the left temporal lobe and a second mass along the brain stem to her brain... given the aggression and the stage there's not much that we will be able to do... "

" Alan, Steve, what are you trying to say?" Rick bit out

" Rick Lesley's cancer has come back and looking at the severity there's not much that we can do other than to make sure she's as comfortable as possible... " Steve replied as gentle as he could

Rick stood up to brace himself up by the nearby wall as he was trying to process what he just heard... " Rick, we're gonna do what we can... And right now Lesley is stable..." Alan said to Rick and set a hand on his shoulder.

" I knew something was off and that the cancer had returned when I first noticed that she was vomiting and was losing weight again but I didn't think it was gonna be where I would lose her." Rick looked over at both Steve and Alan

" Rick, you couldn't have known that anymore than anyone else could... It's not your fault " Alan said as gentle as he could

Rick, trying to keep together as best as he can, moved to sit down to process what's going on and the fact that he had to try to wrap his mind around that Lesley was back in the hospital and this time she was barely holding her own.

" Go sit with her Rick... I sure Lesley would feel better when she wakes up and sees you by her side" Alan said to Rick

~~~

About a week after Lesley was well enough to go home and later in the week, Rick sat with her as she had her final appointment with Dr. Richards.

" Lesley, how are you feeling? " Dr. Richards asked

" I've been better... These last couple weeks were alittle difficult since the Chemotherapy stopped and then hospice care took over at home but I'm hanging in there with Rick by my side." Lesley somewhat smiled when Rick reached for her hand

" Lesley, I want you to understand that we didn't tread lightly when we stopped Chemotherapy and ended your treatment. Given the severity and the notation that you have gone too far into stage 4 which has put you into a grade 3, it wasn't an easy decision in your case" Dr Richards explained

" How long could I have as it's gone this far?"

" Stopping it?! Are you crazy? We can't just give up on her treatment!" Rick said upset

" Lesley I've been upfront with you since you first came in as a patient and I took on your case... Realistically you could have up to as short as up to 2 maybe 4 weeks at the most since stopping your treatment and after looking at your recent head CT scans… you may have under a month…. Lesley I wish that there was something more that we could do or try to help you." Dr Richards explained as easy as he could

Lesley took a small few minutes to think about what was going on and looked up at Rick but didn't think too long about what she wanted to do about her medical care even though she knew that it would break Rick's heart as she had decided this just a short few weeks earlier...

" I thought about this a while ago and I haven't had the chance to come see you before now given from when I was in the hospital. Um, I think it's time that we stop everything other than the supportive care that I've had before, and during treatment. l think it's time that we just continue with hospice care.'' Lesley spoke up

" Les, if treatment could..." Rick started to say when Lesley spoke up again

" Rick, it's not gonna change anything... If I were to have a choice..." Lesley paused when Dr. Richards said he was gonna give them a few moments

Lesley reached for Rick's hands and just looked up at him for a moment. " Lesley I don't wanna lose you I don't think I could go..." Lesley reached up to put her hand on Rick's face " if I were to only have up to a short number of weeks then I would rather just spend those weeks however little time I've got Rick, I'd like to just be with you, Jessie, and the kids, no more hospitals, no more doctors, no more medications…. I just want to be with the family that I love. You have been there Rick for just about everything... Especially after what happened when we had the clinic on the waterfront... And losing Laura.. that Rick meant more to me than you'll ever know... Especially, when you promised me time after time that you loved me even after... Please Rick I don't want to spend the time I have left with a treatment and then go spending it in the hospital back and forth where I very well will die anyway... All I need and want is to be with you at home... That's where I would like to be in my final few weeks, no hospital or anymore doctors just you, the kids and of course Jessie." Lesley leaned over for a hug

" Lesley I don't trust that I can handle just sitting by allowing you to suffer. I need you… I don't think I can live without my best little bug.."

" Rick please…. I just want to make the best of the time I have… the only thing I could ask for or I could want to have you right by my side because Rick you're all I need."

" Lesley you're asking me to just give up on you… I don't think I can do that… I love you..."

" And I love you Rick… I love you very much…. Rick I don't want us to go back and forth when it wouldn't make a difference.. medicine isn't gonna make this better…. I don't know how much time I have so home or our family cabin in Aspen is where I would like to be. I just want to spend my last few weeks or whatever time is left for me. I just want to be with you."

~~~

Over the next couple of days, Rick made it a priority to try to be home as much as possible as Lesley wanted to spend alot of the time just with him and the kids as it was finalized officially that she was now in home care hospice...

" Hello?!" Rick answered

" Rick, is that you? it's Monica.." Monica replied

" Monica, now's not a good time... Lesley's had a rough couple of days since we stopped her appointments and her treatment… I'm actually about to head out to get her pain medication before a hospice care nurse arrives soon." Rick explained

" Alan and Steve told me she wasn't doing well and you had hospice brought in.. I'm sorry to hear that."

Lesley took an easy for the last few days but had trouble on and off throughout the night but luckily before Rick left the house to get Lesley's medications Jessie had stopped by to stay with her throughout the day and everyday after as Rick officially brought in hospice care.

" I hate that you've had to see me this way Jessie... Especially with everything you've always done for me.. and you should've seen how upset Rick was when Jerry was saying that it wasn't an easy choice to stop the chemo… He was so upset and then when I said that it was about time to organize for hospice officially… Jessie I will never be able to get that look out of my head or my heart. It was like I had hurt him all over again." Lesley got out the best she could while trying to control the coughing and the nausea.

" Easy Lesley... Hey I stuck by you from the beginning then and I'm going to do the same now... There isn't anything I wouldn't go to do for you. You've always been very special to me. Lesley you always will be... try to get some rest I'll be right across the hall if you need anything." Jessie said softly

" I have done what I swore I was never going to do Jessie… when I told Rick that I just wanted to be home, and he looked at me… I will never forget how he looked at me."

" Lesley even while he was hurt, it was not because of you not by any means… You are his entire world… hearing that the only option is hospice care, now that is what is killing him. It isn't because of you." Jessie pointed out

Rick had just gotten back when Jessie was in the kitchen putting on some light tea hoping it'll help Lesley feel better at least for the night " how is she... Jess?" Rick asked shortly after he hung his coat up and brought in her medication.

" Right now she's trying to rest, but she's hanging in there and both Genesis and Jesslyn are asleep and Riley is playing with his toys. I was gonna get ready to go put him to bed.." Jessie replied

" I should've insisted Jessie... I should've insisted on her continuing to see Jerry or I should've gotten another oncologist to take over her case..." Rick looked towards the stairs, as he told Jessie what he said

" Rick, come and sit down for a minute... I think it's time that you and I have a talk..." Jessie said

" What is it... Jessie, you sound serious?"

" I have been wanting to talk to you about Lesley for a good while and what's going on with her medical..." Jessie laid a hand on his

" Is something more wrong?" Rick asked

" Lesley and I have known about this for a while since mid January... I started to see a few issues again and I finally made her get checked out when she continued to have the vomiting... I wanted to tell you that she was terminal Rick but I felt it wasn't my place and she should be the one to have told you... She was scared to tell you because she thought you were gonna get hurt... Look Rick what's important is, we're both here to help her when she needs us" Jessie turned Rick to face her as she told Rick what she had to say.

As much as Rick didn't want to face it he knew Jessie would never lead him the wrong way... " She really is a pistol... She couldn't hurt anybody if she tried.."

" Go and spend the rest of the night with her, and get some rest Rick, you need it." Jessie said

" I can try but sleep just may not happen Jess, not when Lesley needs me for anything"

" Rick, I'm gonna stop you right there, Lesley wouldn't approve that you are leading yourself this way, and you know exactly what she would say to you. You will not be of any help to her if you don't take care of yourself too... Medically there's nothing more we can do but we can be there where it matters most." Jessie pulled Rick over before he went upstairs and pointed a finger in his face to set him straight

Rick, as much as he wanted to argue with Jessie, he couldn't because he knew she was right. If Lesley were to see what he was doing to himself just because he wanted to be there 24/7, she would tell him to stop pushing himself. Rick took a short breath and listened to what Jessie had suggested and went upstairs to get even just a couple hours to rest after Jessie headed home for the night herself...

Rick laid down and gently pulled Lesley right beside him where she sighed in contentment and had her hand right over his heart like she always does when she would turn into his arms and they both were asleep at least for a couple hours until Lesley was up again back and forth every so often with the vomiting.

" Lesley I'm right here..." Rick stayed right at Lesley's side

" You shouldn't have to be seeing me like this Rick... It's not fair on you to see me this way" Lesley replied but turned slightly away from Rick

" Hey through thick and thin and through sickness and health... That will never ever change... I would jump over the edge of a cliff for you if I had to... " Rick replied and pulled Lesley close to him

" Could you just hold me... I just don't want you to be far away" Lesley replied while trying not to cry

" I will never be far away Little bug, not ever... I'm gonna be right here beside you every step of the way... How about after I help you back to lay down, I'll bring you up some tea to help you relax... I have to get your pain medication from downstairs anyway..." Rick suggested just before taking Lesley into his arms

" I love you Rick..." Lesley looked up at Rick

" I love you too sweetheart... I love you more than anything" Rick carried Lesley back to lay down.

" I'm sorry Rick, I'm sorry I kept all of this from you for months and then again this last couple of months and then you come to find out treatment came to an end long before now… Rick I never meant for you to find out this way… I never meant for you to get hurt." Lesley slid her forehead further into Rick's shoulder

" Sweetheart, don't be sorry everything is okay." Rick replied and pulled Lesley up for a hug before she started coughing again and Rick wasted no time when trying to help her as she started to slightly cough up blood.

" Easy sweetheart, it's gonna be okay because I'm not gonna leave your side."

Rick carried Lesley back to bed where he and the nurse could get Lesley back onto the monitor.