Jessie had to take a few minutes to pull herself together before she went to give Steve a call but moved quickly when the phone started ringing already and she quickly picked it up.
" Hello?" Jessie answered " Ah Webber residence?" Jessie quickly tried to correct herself in spite that she was trying to keep herself together
"Jessie? Is that you?" Monica replied
" Monica, it's um… it's not really a good time to call right now..." Jessie replied best she could
" Well I was just busy with paperwork but thought to call and check in on... Jessie, you sound like you were crying, is something wrong?" Monica replied
" lt just happened….. It's Lesley… she just... She just died Monica…. about a half hour ago…. She died in Rick's arms."
" I'm sorry Jessie... How's Rick and the kids holding up?" Monica asked
" Steve and Audrey have the kids with them. Rick thought it would be better and Lesley she didn't want them to have to see her like that... Rick he's not handling it well he's just devastated" Jessie responded
" Let Rick know my thoughts are with him and Alan and the whole family sends their love and prayers as well… That goes to you as well Jessie. I know Lesley meant a great deal to you." Monica said
" I will Monica thanks for calling.."
Jessie hung up the phone and took a few moments to calm herself enough to take a few deep breaths again before giving Steve a call
" Hello?" Audrey answered the phone
" Audrey it's Jessie, did I wake you?" Jessie said and asked
Audrey reassured her that she was up anyway and was going over stuff for the student nurses for the following week
"Jessie, what is it? you sound upset" Audrey asked and she caught Steve's attention.
" It just happened… Lesley just... She just died Audrey... A few moments ago she went peacefully in Rick's arms."
" Oh no... Oh Jessie I'm so sorry, is there something Steve and I can do?" Audrey asked
" Honestly I don't think there's anything we can do. Rick is trying to process it but he's just… he's devastated... How are the kids...?"
" Well naturally the girls have wanted to go back home to be with Lesley, Steve finally got them to go back down for the time being and Riley he's been asleep in his dinosaur bed since 8:00 " Audrey replied and caught Steve's attention again
" It's gonna be really difficult for them when they do come home and Lesley won't be here and Riley he's not gonna fully understand what is going on and why Lesley won't be there when he comes home." Jessie said
" Is there something we can do for Rick or even for you?" Audrey asked
" Honestly Audrey nothing is gonna help me to get through this at this time Lesley was the only one that I could be able to talk to about certain things that no one has ever known on a personal level and with her now gone….. Maybe there is something that we can do for Rick to give more time just to be alone with her." Jessie explained her idea and then got off the phone to head into the kitchen.
Jessie walked back to see if Rick needed anything while she was there to arrange a few things before taking Lesley to the hospital where Steve and Audrey were gonna have a place set up for Rick to be alone with her.
" Rick... Is there anything I can do for you?" Jessie asked while Rick was standing and looking out of the window with Lesley still in his arms
" 3:35 am…. Lesley looked up at me just before that second and then died at 3:35…."
" Rick she fought…. No matter how hard or how much it was gonna hurt for us to not be able to help her. She fought with courage."
" It just looks like she's asleep, like I would be able to wake her up alittle later to ask her if she wants something or if she wants to see anybody...It just doesn't seem real... She shouldn't be so still.." Rick replied as calmly as he thought he could after he laid Lesley back in the bed.
" Lesley was special to everybody that knew her. Anytime she saw something wrong she wasn't afraid to try to turn it around... One of quite a few things I'll always love her for... She was really proud Rick... of anything that meant the most to her, especially you, her daughters and her son..."
" I don't think I can do this Jessie… I don't think I can live without her." Rick expressed " Tell me how I'm supposed to get through this…. How am I supposed to just go on without her.?"
" I wish there was something I could do to help you, or something I could do to make this all go away. I know that I can't take the pain away… Lesley was happy no matter how hard or how difficult time became for her to get through she was happy Rick…"
" She knew the moment she asked for me to call for you alittle while ago before the nurse got ready to leave. She knew it was gonna be her last few moments but that wasn't what mattered to her, what meant to her was being with the love of her life.. It was being in your arms Rick that allowed her to feel that she was gonna be okay to let go."
" I um... I think I'm gonna go get some air... I have to find some way to get a grip on this and figure out what I'm gonna have to say to Riley and the girls... I don't think I can do that staying up here." Rick got out before he slightly covered Lesley with her small throw she always used when she would go for a rest following after he kissed her on her head.
" Hey, take as much time as you need one step at a time… there's nothing that you need to decide right now." Jessie said, giving Rick a hug.
Jessie stayed with Lesley throughout the morning as dawn started to come and Rick left to try to gather his thoughts as best as he thought he could. Jessie set aside a few things in the side room.
" I promise you Lesley Rick will be alright. I won't let him go through this alone… I miss you so much already… but I'm grateful that you came into my life when you did. That is gonna be the time of my life that I will carry with me but I will cherish for the rest of my life and I want to thank you for that."
" You came at the right time that I needed someone to help me through alot of hard times that I had to face after losing both my kids, and Phil I will always love you for that... you just rest easy… You better be the first face I see when it comes my time and I get there."
Jessie spent a few more minutes with Lesley before Rick had decided to bring himself or rather force himself, to head back to the house and work up the courage to get ready to take Lesley to the hospital... Jessie knew Rick was trying to hold strong but she knew better that he wasn't doing as alright as he was trying to be
" Jessie, thank you for everything... I know it hasn't been easy for you either and I know…. I know that Lesley really meant something to you." Rick got out when Jessie moved to sit beside him on the couch
" Yeah she did and she always will… It hasn't been easy, not by any means. Lesley touched alot of things for my life and became as close to the daughter I had many years ago but I can't think of anywhere else that I would've had to be than right here... Like she always was for me." Jessie replied
" I should call Steve, let him know what's going on... I should check on the kids anyway.. Considering I have to tell them that Lesley is dead." Rick went to pick up the phone and Jessie pulled him back
" I spoke to Steve alittle while ago, I thought while you needed to stay with Lesley, I thought to keep him updated... He and Audrey send their love and they went to General to set up something private for you. If that's gonna be alright for you. They also said the girls and Riley could stay as long as you need and they were okay.."
Rick couldn't help but feel grateful as Jessie stayed with him through this nightmare that he knew from the start that it was never going to end, especially now that he lost the great love of his life.
" Thank you Jessie... I don't know how I'm gonna be able to repay you, especially this time."
" Rick you don't have to feel like you have to thank me… to see that Lesley is at peace and there's no pain left for her to carry. I think we can find alittle bit of comfort in that." Jessie replied.
" I want her back. It shouldn't have had to end this way. Not when she had so much to live for… The kids wanted to surprise her this weekend Riley wanted to give something he's been holding on to. How am I supposed to tell them Jessie? How do I tell them that Lesley is gone and she isn't coming back?" Rick asked while trying not to feel like he's losing his control.
" Right now Rick you have to take it one step at a time… there is no reason for you to rush things. It took Phil and I a good week to tell our daughter about her brother because she was very young and it was difficult for her to understand."
" I had gotten this for her… I was gonna give it to her this weekend…."
" When you're ready I'll take whatever stuff you need out to the car you just let me know." Jessie told Rick and pulled him into a hug...
" Do you want me to get that?" Jessie asked when the phone rang
" Please... I don't think I can handle talking to anybody right now I just… I feel like I need to be alone."
" It's alright Rick you don't have to..." Jessie replied and moved to get the phone
" Webber residence" Jessie answered
"Jessie, it's Gail... I just ran into Steve in the parking lot as I got back from the airport dropping Lee off… " Gail started when Jessie interrupted
" Gail...Lesley just... She's gone. About almost 3 and a half hours ago. She was in Rick's arms when it happened... She went peacefully about 3:35 this morning." Jessie answered
" Oh Lord oh Jessie I'm so sorry... How's Rick holding?"
" Rick is devastated naturally, Gail... he doesn't know how to process it. He's trying to gather his own feelings but even I can see he's not handling it okay. As for myself Gail I'm trying my best to keep it together for Rick but I just... I'm just devastated that now she's gone" Jessie replied, trying to keep it together herself.
" Tell him Lee and I send our love and our thoughts and prayers are with him and they're with you too Jessie. I know that Lesley meant so much for you." Gail said before getting off the phone when Monica stopped by.
After about an hour Jessie helped Rick take a few things out to the car while he carefully carried Lesley's body to take her out as well. As devastated as Rick was, he knew she had to be taken to General.
" Rick, is there anything else you need before we go?" Jessie asked
" No, I think we have everything..." Rick replied with a sniffle and just held Lesley in the back
Monica and Gail were still in her office after Gail had just spoke with Jessie.
" I guess that was Jessie you heard from?" Monica said simply.
" Yes it was... I called just after Steve filled me in just alittle while ago but I didn't expect it was gonna be this soon... She had so much still ahead for herself... And Lee and I had just seen her a couple days ago."
" It is terrible. In spite of how I was around her and the horrible things I once said to her, and she actually forgave me… I was fond of her and I never told her that." Monica stated
" Monica, she knew that deep down, sure you both had a fair share of problems with one another but Lesley forgave you."
" Well she was a brilliant doctor I have to say I will miss consulting her when she would need one." Monica got out.
" Monica you and I both will " Gail said back
" I better get stuff done..." Monica started but sat by the window
" She meant to all of us Monica.. We have to be there for Rick. He's gonna need us, " Gail replied and sat beside Monica.
" Gail he's not gonna want me to help him… after the way I always treated her from the time I first saw her with him?…. I'm probably gonna be lucky if he'll tolerate that I would be there when he gets her arrangements together and the funeral set." Monica pointed out
" Monica you have had your fair share of mistakes we all have… Lesley would expect us to be there for support. In fact Lesley left this for you."
Monica didn't open what Lesley left right away but took the time she had to reflect on the past and the things she once did out of jealousy and shelfish reasons.
~~~
Rick carried Lesley carefully through the back where Steve and Audrey were waiting.
" Things are set aside for you Rick. Audrey had the chapel closed off for you... Take as much time as you need, there's no rush to make any decisions right now." Steve got out
" I appreciate that Steve, um give me maybe an hour or so and maybe we can send Lesley a small moment of silence before Jessie goes to help with other final arrangements that Lesley wanted to be made." Rick replied just as he was taking Lesley inside.
Rick sat where there was quiet and just held Lesley closer to him and told her how much he loved her...
" Everything's okay now little bug everything you went through, all the pain and the torture it's all over no one will ever be able to hurt you again… Lesley, how did we come here... Tell me how I'm supposed to just say goodbye to you when we had so much to do... God I miss you so much... We've had so much together." Rick cried.
Rick started to look back over alot of the things he and Lesley shared from the time they first got together and the time they were apart from the scandal with Monica and everything else after they remarried.
~~
" After the holidays, then I'll move out and we'll file for divorce." Lesley said as walked around with her back turned towards Rick
" Lesley I'm gonna say this one last time very calmly; there will be no divorce I will not even discuss it and as far as moving out I will be the one who goes"
" No, that's a point I won't even argue this is your family's house your roots are here. I know your emotional attachment to this house." Lesley argued
" That's exactly why I'll be the one who goes". Rick said
" Even if you do go, what happens then?"
" If you still don't think we could make a go at it then I will agree to a temporary separation" Rick responded calmly
~~
While painful though it was at the thought of saying goodbye to her, Rick knew he was beyond unready to let her go. After about a couple to a few moments, Rick worked what little strength he thought he had left to take Lesley over to the morgue where she needed to be.
" Lesley... Tell me how I'm supposed to just go on without you... How do I live without you.. tell me how when you were everything to me. I don't know how to just say goodbye to you! I don't think I can live without you with me" Rick cried but felt Lesley beside him.
" You won't have to let me go Rick I'm always with you...I am in your heart Rick and that's where I'll always be " Lesley whispered in his ear and touched him on the shoulder
Rick finally pushed himself to head back towards the lobby to where Jessie was waiting for him with Steve and Audrey and some of their other friends
" Attention... Attention to all medical personnel may I have your attention please at this time... I would like to take a moment to dedicate a moment of silence at this time for a dear friend and colleague who was very dedicated to giving back to those in need and had put in back breaking hours for over 45 years to our Hospital and our community... Let's give Doctor Lesley Webber a moment of silence as she lost her battle with cancer and sadly passed away this morning in her home surrounded by her beloved family and her dearest friend Jessie Brewer.…...To Dr. Lesley Webber, we will cherish your memory and we will all miss you. May she rest in peace." Steve said before everyone then moved to get back to work.
Jessie moved to grab a few things behind the desk and found something she didn't know was left for her along with something also set aside for Gail... Jessie took a few moments in the lounge to look at what was left for her from Lesley.
" Jessie,
I don't even know where to begin to how I would thank you for everything you ever did for me... You've always been someone to count on through alot of hard times and I've lost count on how many hard times I've had over the years I can't even begin to say what you mean to me Jessie. You have always meant more like a sister than a friend... Actually I take that back, you've become more like a mother to me than a friend or a sister because you took me under your wing when I seemed to have been lost. These last couple weeks have been really difficult for me to get through but I wouldn't change the outcome and how I spent my last few hours and moments because I had spent them with not just the man I love more than anything but I spent them with the one other special person who's always meant the world to me and that was with you I love you Jessie remember that! and remember all of our great times we've carried out... I'm gonna tell you what you would always tell me when I was upset or maybe alittle bit scared with the unknown... Hold onto that... I love you Jessie and I will always be with you. As you were my guide, now I will be yours until I get to see you again
Always Lesley."
Jessie folded what Lesley left for her and took a moment to get herself together when Gail managed to be able to free up a few moments...
"Jessie... Is everything ok?..." Gail asked gently
" It's not really... " Jessie admitted simply
" Lesley meant to alot of us... She certainly meant something to me... You wanna talk about it?" Gail got out and asked gently.
Jessie passed the letter Lesley left for her behind the desk from the last time she was there in the hospital.
Gail took a moment to read what Lesley left for Jessie " She loved you Jessie... Just as much as she loved Rick. I can't think of a time where she wouldn't light up any time I would mention something of you... You and Rick meant more to her than anything else aside from the kids.." Gail wrapped an arm around Jessie and said what she had to say
" She left one for you too" Jessie replied and sniffled.
" I was gonna see if Rick needed anything but I haven't been able to get to him yet." Gail said
" He may have went back to be close to Lesley...I didn't ask when he would like for me to take him home, I rather just give him space... At least until he's ready." Jessie replied and added " she left this for him along with something else she left for him back at the house... She was my daughter Gail in every sense... I never thought of her like just a good friend or colleague..."
" Lesley always thought that same way, anytime she had a session with me after she was told that her cancer was terminal, you were always referred to as mom... She loved you Jessie." Gail responded.
Rick was ready to head home but couldn't work up the thought to leave Lesley's office instead he picked up her doctors jacket where she left it the last time she was able to work and chose to sit near the window with her coat but picked up a picture she had kept on her desk that nearly broke him into 2 all over again because it was their wedding picture together with a recent picture he took when he surprised her just the year before for her birthday.
Monica lightly knocked on Lesley's office and waited a moment before she peaked inside slightly.
" I thought I would find you in here." Monica started then moved to add when she sat beside him. " Can I do anything for you?"
" I can't do this Monica... I don't think I can handle this." Rick cried
" I'm sure beyond anything you did everything you ever thought you could Rick. It's no secret that Lesley and I never were really friends like the way she was with Jessie and everyone else but I know what she meant to you Rick and I'm sorry you have to go through this... No matter how difficult it may be now, Lesley is always right here beside you... You hold onto that Rick and never let it go." Monica replied easily
" I should've argued with her, when it came to treatment and appointments with Jerry I should have insisted she go somewhere else to get the medical treatment she needed... Instead I was a coward. I just let her have her way, I let her convince me that it would have no difference if she would have improved or not... Now she's gone and I just…. I just had to take Lesley to the morgue"
" Rick, she loved you right up to the end. She wouldn't want you to carry any kind of guilt with her death because Rick, you did everything you ever thought you could."
" Just as Alan and I did all we could for Lila when she passed away… I think it was during that time I really began to see that dwelling on hatred or resentment wasn't worth it… Lesley and I started to iron out our differences and issues. I just wish there was alittle more time that we could've done more before she had gotten so sick."
" I need to be alone Monica… I just want to be alone right now." Rick sniffled
" My door is always open for you Rick… I hope and pray that you won't ask or want it to be closed." Monica hugged Rick and left as he asked.
~~~
Over the next couple of days Jessie and Audrey stepped in to help Rick get Lesley's final funeral arrangements set for that Saturday as it would've been her 48th birthday and he wanted to make sure nothing was gonna interfere with her memorial services. Rick had just gotten to the hospital to get a few things together.
Shortly after Rick got a few things together and all of their friends started to come to the chapel Steve, Audrey, Lee and Gail, Alan and Monica ect. started to show but before they could say anything, Rick slipped out the back to go anywhere else but the chapel as the pressures and his grief started to weigh to the stark reality that he was about to face that this was really Lesley's funeral and he was gonna have to actually say goodbye.
" Steve, could you hold things together while I go and see if Rick needs me to do anything for him? I have a pretty good idea where he went off to." Jessie asked before she went up to the 7th floor.
" Take your time Jessie. Today's gonna be extremely hard for all of us."
Rick sat at Lesley's side desk and tried to keep to himself as he couldn't keep his grief under complete control. But as much as he tried he couldn't hold back his grief anymore
Jessie knocked lightly and eased going into Lesley's office. " I thought I'd find you up here..."
" I... I'm sorry. I can't do this Jessie, I can't face having to say goodbye to her again. It's just too much. I just can't do it." Rick got out while clinging to their last anniversary picture.
" Rick don't ever apologize... Lesley would be the first to tell you that if she were standing here so all you're gonna do is listen. I know how difficult this is for you Lesley meant everything to you just as she did to me... She pulled me through alot of hard times I've gone through in my life... Lesley became the daughter I lost shortly after Phil and I had buried our son when he was killed in the field overseas and that was many years ago..."
" Now I promised Lesley I would do for you what she always did for me... And I'm gonna keep that promise Rick because like she was a daughter, you have always been like a son and that will never change. It isn't gonna be easy Rick it's gonna hurt and it's gonna bring up that pain all over again from the second she passed but we can get through it together for Lesley... We can do it for her."
" Jessie l don't think I can do that…. I don't think I can face it to really tell her goodbye again. I can't do it."
" Yes you can Rick and I will tell you why…. I thought just like this, like I was drowning because my son was killed then my daughter and then my husband Phil Lesley pushed back and forth telling me I could get through it she didn't allow me to give up."
" If you give up now Rick, Lesley would never forgive us. She will never forgive you if you are not there for those kids who need you more than anything right now especially Riley whos still too young to really understand what is happening and then she'll never forgive me if I turn my back and allow you to run and hide so I want you up, pull it together the best you can and I'm gonna wait in the hall for you." Jessie pushed back and then added. " We can get through this Rick. We can do it together for Lesley!..."
After about 5 minutes Rick walked back with Jessie where everybody was together to remember who Lesley was. After Steve stood up to say his own thoughts Rick continued to fight for his own control while it was more difficult for him to bear the thought that he had to say goodbye to the only love of his life.
" I want to thank everyone for coming out today to give your love and support. Some of you may know what today is and maybe some sadly don't and that's okay… Lesley was always better at remembering alot of things than I am…. This wasn't the idea of what I had in mind to celebrate Lesley's life, I had the idea that I was gonna take her away and we would go out into the mountain side of Aspen Colorado. I planned it a while back while Lesley was just about finished with the Chemo the second time around…. Little did we know Lesley's health took a turn in the worst way on April 2nd and we later were told that there wasn't anything anybody would attempt to try and I should just take her home with hospice care… Lesley never had or carried any doubts about anything in fact what she wanted the most was to be the mother she knew she wanted to be when her own stabbed her in the back. And I'm just thankful to God that Jessie became the mother that Lesley couldn't have when she needed one the most." Rick took a moment as he planned to when he placed a carved out pendant in when Lesley.
" Riley, come up for a little bit..." Rick started to say when he held his hand out for Riley " Riley you're too young to really understand what's going on…. Your mother was a beautiful woman and she loved you very much… As much as it will hurt us we have to say goodbye… but we can tell her we love her and we'll miss her."
" I don't want to say goodbye… I want mommy to come home."
After Lesley's funeral services and she was later cremated, Rick took a few moments with the girls and Riley to spend abit of time up with Laura before he left to take them home.
" You guys would've been spoiled and your big sister would've loved to have taken you on some trips… Your mother is up with your big sister now and she's not gonna be suffering anymore."
" Why did mommy have to go… it's not fair" Riley asked
" You're right pal it's not fair… but we have to try to remind ourselves that she's okay now and there's no more pain for her to have to go through anymore."
Rick wasn't all that sure of everything that happened other than he had to try to learn how to help the kids get through the night as it was harder while the plans or surprises he and the kids made to give Lesley had forever changed now that Lesley had passed away and they just had to face saying their goodbyes and later her partial burial with Laura. Jessie thought to find out if they were gonna want her to just give them all a ride home but she decided to give them some space for alittle bit.
" Rick, are you ready to head back?" Jessie asked gently but carefully
" I don't think I'll ever be ready but I think it's time we head home..." Rick replied and looked behind him.
Rick couldn't pinpoint it but he started to feel as if Lesley was right there, with her hand right on his shoulder telling him that she was okay and she's reunited with Laura...
Jessie waited about 20 minutes before giving Rick a ride home so he could take an easy and she told him to call if he were to need anything.
" I'm a phone call away Rick, if you need something. I still have my apartment…. So anytime you need me or anything please call me."
Rick pushed himself to walk inside the house and put his coat away. " Girls take your brother upstairs and get ready for bed I'll come up in alittle bit to tuck you in and talk to you." Rick asked before he took a seat on the couch to collect himself before going up to tuck in the girls and put Riley to bed.
" Jesslyn…. Can I stay with you and Genesis tonight… I don't want to be alone." Riley asked
" Course you can Riley… today was a real hard day for us.. Come on, I'll get you a sleeper for tonight." Jesslyn replied
Rick came up after a few moments to tuck in Riley and say goodnight to the girls before attempting to go to bed himself
" Why did mommy have to leave us... Why couldn't she stay with us?" Riley asked
" I don't know buddy... Sometimes when we aren't feeling that good and we're alittle sick we have to go to a different place.. and your Mom, she had to go be with your big sister in heaven because me and the doctors we just couldn't help her anymore... And the medicine wasn't making her problem go away either so your big sister came and got her so she'd feel better and she wouldn't be in pain anymore..." Rick did his best to explain
" I wish she didn't have to go... I miss her so much..." Riley replied
" Me too guy me too... Try to get some sleep tonight... Today was a really hard and rough day but one thing we can do is remind ourselves that your mother is okay now and she's not suffering with pain or anything else anymore… but most of all…. Your mother loves you guys more than anything else just like I do and she'd want us to keep our heads up together and that means it's time that you guys get to bed and you try to get a good night sleep."
Rick tucked in the kids and stepped out of their room into the hallway as he was gonna try to attempt to try to get some sleep.
Rick took a moment before he pushed himself to step foot back in their bedroom as he hadn't been in their room since he spent his last few moments with Lesley as she passed away in his arms. For Rick, he felt he had to sleep in the guest room over the last few days because for him it was too much for him to bare.
~~~
Over the next week after Lesley's funeral Rick spent some of his time going through a few things while the twins and Riley were with Jessie and he caught a glimpse of something with his name on it that he knew Lesley had left for him, and he took a few moments to play the video he had found that she left him.
"My dearest Rick,
Meeting you all that time ago I don't even know where to begin. You saved my life when I thought that it was gonna end from what I went through with Cameron and to top it all off altogether you did what Cameron wouldn't do... you accepted Laura as your own and you adopted her and I can't tell you what that meant to me, You stuck by me through alot of things I was afraid I would lose you for and came close to it once. Rick there are so many things I want to thank you for but can't express the amount of love I have for you and everything you ever did for me. You risked your entire life and freedom at the expense for mine and my only regret is that I never got a chance to show you just how much I love you and what you meant to my heart... You were and will always be my greatest blessing just as you were always so wonderful to me even when I made you crazy especially as I kept all of this for a while from you. Rick, I am very sorry that you had to stand by feeling like you failed as a husband because I had become so sick in the few weeks after the last time you had brought me home. Rick, that's one thing I want to clear with you about! You never failed me not once Richard and I want you to stop thinking that you did... Rick you made me happy... you did for nearly 41 years and that was a blessing Rick and if I had a chance to redo it all over again from the moment I learned I was sick... I would never change how I spent my final moments... Because Rick... I spent them with you, I spent them knowing that I was loved and safe and they were spent in your arms right where I wanted to be... Rick I love you so much and I want you to hold onto what we will always have but remember that your little bug is always with you. I will always stay in your heart even as I know you will find love again... Tell the kids I love them and I'm with their big sister and we are watching over them every day just like we will always watch over you. I love you Richard Webber, don't ever forget that..
* Alright there is one thing I would do differently and that's that I would've told you the truth from the beginning that I was sick instead of keeping it from you like I had both times.* "
Rick listened again to what Lesley left for him as he about cried when he sat on her side of the bed and later that night he had taken a moment and after an hour, he went and laid down with Lesley's lab coat like he had done every night since her funeral to get what little sleep he could and when he woke up just a few hours later, he felt like Lesley was right next to him and smiled when he turned to see her standing near the window with a smile and saw her message she left him for that following morning.
"I love you Rick"
