Of Sword and Scythe - Fanfics - Tuxedo.... Heero?!?

Disclaimer: they aren't mine, I know it, you know it, we all know it. So don't sue.
C&C Welcome as always. If you are a huge SM lover and can't take a joke, don't read.

Tuxedo..Heero?

Heero sat typing at his laptop (oh if I had a nickel for every fic that opened that way)

A loud booming voice that could only be the author

Heero- Ignoring voice, keeps typing

Karasu-

Heero realizes it's not Duo

Karasu- I have to borrow you

Heero- eyes narrow For what?

Karasu- I'm writing another fic, and Dariener, Mamoru is missing, so I need you to fill in.

Heero- with a vague tinge of disgust Sailor moon.

Karasu-

Heero-

Karasu- Or I could just arrange a crossdressing sidefic for you I've got a lovely pink dress sitting around here somewhere. Reliena would LOVE it

Heero- Horror crosses his face briefly, before reverting to its natural emotionless state

Mission Accepted

Karasu- Oh, and you'll need these

A black cape and top hat float down out of the ethers

Heero- raises eyebrow

Karasu- Oh just put them onand no guns

Heero- No guns?!

Karasu- Lack of a current physical form hides her evil grin Yep. You only get to throw roses and give inspiring' speeches.

Heero-

*****

*sometime later*

Ami raised looked up from her reading. Is Usagi here yet

She received a rather annoyed look from Rei, No. Usagi is incapable of being on time, haven't you noticed? I swear, she's going to be late for her own funeral! Her eyes narrowed in agitation, and considering just who we are....

Makoto simply shook her head being used to this particular complaint. Rei, you know she doesn't mean to do it...

A loud boom cut her off midsentence, as a tree creaked and came crashing down right where they were gathered. Everyone jumped out of the way, rolling to clear the falling branches.

What the

You're lucky you're fast, but badplotia get you next time! (AN: Anyone ever notice how half of the monsters have no grasp of grammar?)

Everyone turned toward the voice, finding a new youma perched at the top of another nearby tree. She jumped down to the ground just before the senshi, who took this to be a good time to transform.

The call of Mars Crystal Power: Make up! started them off, with the rest of the scouts following suit. Lights, fire and all sorts of other fun elemental swirling ensued. The sakura petals floated down and er... wait, this is sailor moon, not samurai troopers ok, scratch the sakura petals.

The Senshi, in all their empowered glory, now stood ready to face their new enemy, who had kindly waited until they had transformed to continue. Sailor Mars, Mercury, Jupiter and Venus stood around, watching for the next move while taking in their new enemy.

She had long tresses that were supposed to be hair but close up looked more like-- video film? She was the token youma - Ami assessed - having the skimpy ridiculous outfit and strange genetic makeup but for some reason rather than the normal markings, on her forehead was a glowing symbol that looked much like the letters

Tsk, tsk, tsk Ami's attention was redirected to this Badplotia' as she began to talk. That won't do those transformations have to go

And what do you mean by that?! , Mars cut in.

Nothing children, nothing at all! Badplotia whipped her at them, starting the fight in earnest.

Fire Soul!

Badplotia deftly avoided the attacks, letting them take out the trees behind her, muttering Must change that

Shabon Spray! Mercury called, allowing moments for regrouping in the fog that ensued. A moment later the fog was blown away, as the wind suddenly kicked up.

Supreme Thunder!

This time, the energy was reflected back as badplotia held up some sort of contract in front of her. The Senshi jumped out of the way, giving many panty shots in the process.

Badplotia screamed, seeming to be particularly bothered by this. She started yelling agitatedly, This won't do! This won't DO!!!

The fighting had gone on for some time before a familiar voice from behind them caught everyone's attention. Stop right there, Negga-scum!

Sailor moon came onto the scene after a round or two of fighting had already passed. Nice of you to finally show up! Mars shot at her. Sailor Moon didn't seem to notice, too caught up in her spotlight. The scouts weren't making much headway, so the brief respite was welcomed, even if it came in the form of Usagi's speeches

As she began into her tirade on love and justice' Mars tapped Jupiter's shoulder, who in turn got Mercury's attention, who got Venus. They all discreetly left the battlefield, heading to a conveniently placed café a few minutes away.

Guys, are you sure we should just leave Sailor Moon like that

Don't worry Mercury, you know how long those things run

Ya, and for some reason, they almost never attack her before she finishes

It's like some strange kind of hypnosis

Mercury shrugged. well, if you say so

An hour and a half later, the sailor senshi paid their tabs (where they keep money on those outfits, I don't know) and left the café. Walking back into the park, they heard the end of their fearsome' leader's speech.

and in the name of the moon, I will punish you! Cried Sailor Moon, promptly ducking a hair' whip coming her way. It wrapped around a tree trunk behind her instead. Badplotia, yanking her head back, ripped the tree up by its roots and tossed it into the other scouts just walking back into the scene. They scattered and fell.

The battle was occurring in a park just outside the city. The monster had attacked them directly for once, which was a bit odd, but no one really thought about it, fighting for their lives and all.

Finally finish your speech? Mars queried the scurrying Sailor Moon. This apparently drew the attention of the monster, who jumped on her. For some reason Mars couldn't fight back.(1) She just didn't have the strength to push her off. Holding Mars down, the letters on Badplotia's forehead started glowing, and shone a beam down onto the trapped warriors face. I will dub you! the creature cackled.

Sailor Jupiter yelled, Get off of her you monster! and jumped on her back just as Mars passed out.

This, was a bad idea.

The Hair' of the monster wrapped around Jupiter, holding her helpless and bringing her within easy reach. She experienced the same thing as Mars, as the light shone on her face as well and she passed out.

Venus love me chain encircle!

Badplotia turned to sailor Venus, with some amusement, as her attack bounced right off without so much as a scratch.

What!? My attack isn't working!

Mercury typed at her mini computer furiously, trying to figure out an effective attack.

In the meantime, Badplotia reached for the nearest soldier, which just happened to be Sailor Moon. She picked her up by the throat, pulling her close and shining the same light on her face.

Nothing.

It seemed to be having no affect on Sailor Moon(2) After a few moments of this, she got tired of it and simply started to strangle her.(3)

A very groggy Sailor Mars had just come to, and found her leader' being throttled. She tried to call her attack, but it simply didn't respond to Fire Soul' anymore she yelled in frustration, then suddenly wondered why she had called her that.

Just then a rose suddenly flew by, cutting the monster's hand and causing her to drop Sailor Moon square on her toush with a loud

She looked up first, with hearts in her eyes. Tuxedo mask!

The Senshi had started to wake up again. Everyone looked up to see a caped figure standing atop one of the trees. Strange guitar music floated in from somewhere before disappearing again.

He seemed confused for a split second, looking for the source of the sound, then shrugged it off, glaring at the monster.

Sailor Moon looked at TuxedoMask expectantly.

At this point Sailor Moon noticed he wasn't wearing his usual outfit; wearing spandex shorts and a tank top under his cape. he didn't look quite right either And why in the world was she calling him

Tuxedo Mask

Much like the music, there was a brief whisper in the wind, that sounded a lot like

Tuxedo..ermMask, shook his head violently, then glared down again. In a monotone he recited, There are evils in the world, and this creature imbodies all of them. Sailor moon, you must find the will to fight, and be strong. As all life must strive against evil, so shall

*Bang*

Badplotia fell, with an apparent gunshot wound to the head

Everyone blinked, looking from the body, then back up to Tuxedo Mask, who stood in the tree with a smoking gun in hand.

Karasu walked into the scene with arms folded, a bit perturbed to say the least. She glared up at Heero. Didn't I tell you no guns!? And where did you hide that thing anyway?.no, wait, I know She waived her fist angrily at the sky, yelling, Damn you Spandex space! and stalked back out of the scene, leaving several confused sailor scouts, and one glowering Heero.

*****

*elsewhere in the anime world*

Duo watched as Wing Gundam took another hit.

What the hell is he doing? He's never that sloppy he's not even fighting., He shook his head, Something wrong. Something's very wrong

Turning on his vid link, Duo saw, not Heero sitting in wing's cockpit as expected, but some strange young man in a tuxedo (minus the cape and hat) and a mask. Duo blinked a few times, trying to clear the image, but he was still there.

When in doubt (or any other range of emotions), his mouth took over. Who the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing in that gundam!?

The figure in the other cockpit, struggling with the controls, looked up; just now noticing the face on the screen.

I have absolutely no idea! How do you work this thing?!

~Owari~

(1) Seriously, how are they going to fight the ones dubbing them?

(2) well, dubbing didn't really affect her that much. *WEG*

(3) Well who wouldn't. *ducks projectiles coming her way*

Yes, there is a sequel coming... I've just been too lazy to finish it... but it's EEEEEEvil......
Suggestions for such, are always welcome.

~Lady Karasu
'Spork no Miko'
(Or, Morgan, or Lunar Myst depending on the mood)