A/N: WARNING: This contains some SLASH material.
Ha! Now that you have been warned, you can only blame yourself for getting offended.
Part V: Forgotten dreams
And so I said to her:
How doth the fickle weather fair on your far side of town?
Hath bird and bee both acknowledged it, and consented to fly down?
From lightest autumn air unto its golden crown,
Which soon will drop its many jewels onto ungrateful ground.
Draco's even breathing held together the silence of shadows, which curled their way round him and the other still objects that lined the corridor. He could still taste the fear in those salty tears. And when the fear took on a different form; turned into respect and want…Justin made himself accessible to him. He had wanted Draco's kisses. That was over a week ago though, and he was yet again lingering in the indoor darkness, as he had on that first day.
It seemed like a long time ago that Draco had pulled Justin with him into the shadows. And the routine had carried on through the week, with Justin coming to meet him every night. As Draco reminded him, he had no choice: not if he wanted a certain little secret to remain covered up. The Hogwarts committee made it known that they were adamantly fair when it came to choosing the Head-boy, but everyone had worked out long ago that the school could not afford to be fair. Sacrifices had to be made- Hogwarts' Head-boy could be nothing less than perfect. They represented *Hogwarts* after all.
Draco cocked his head at the sound of footsteps.
A milky white hand darted out to latch onto the other boy's upper arm. Justin stumbled in the darkness. He should have been used to this by now; it had been the same every night. He took a deep breath awaiting what this session had in store for him- what Draco had in store for him.
A snaking arm wound round his waist and pulled him into the wall.
"Hello Justin. Miss me?" The soft chilling voice hissed in his ear. He clenched his fists and hoped that Draco wouldn't hear his racing heart. His eyes were wide with apprehension.
"Have you no answer for me?" Draco pressed the whole length of his body against Justin's making the boy shudder in response.
"I've got you what you wanted." The quiet voice trembled in its guilt. Draco smiled an artful smile; radiant in the candlelight, as Justin pulled away slightly and uncurled his fist to show the tiny bottle in his palm. It was made out of impossibly fine-glass that, were it not magically enhanced, would have shattered under the force of gravity alone. The tiny amount of jewel-green liquid lay sinless on the bottom, sealed in by an equally tiny glass stopper in the top.
He took the bottle in his slender fingers and held it up, his eyes focussed on the sparkling, clear green liquid. It was as cold and piercing as his eyes.
Justin stepped back silently.
"Thank you." Draco whispered, pocketing the bottle. He leaned towards Justin and cupped the other boy's face in his hands. "And I've got what *you* want." He pulled Justin down for a kiss, light and teasing. It was always the same; Justin would try to resist, until Draco would bite him mercilessly, and then he would comply. The kiss would deepen, with Draco being harsh. And suddenly he would pull away as if nothing had happened at all. This time was no different.
Justin was breathing hard; the two figures were still pressed into the corner.
"Did you have trouble?"
"No. Snape was out when I broke in." Came the breathless reply.
"Last night?"
Justin nodded. "Draco…I've got to go."
Draco smirked ruthlessly and kissed him again.
"And she knew all that time."
"What I find amazing, is that she wasn't angry at all."
"If your Florence ever found out…"
Ron and Harry turned the corner.
"Why wasn't she upset?"
"Hermione? Well, you never seemed that serious to me."
"…At least she promised not to say anything."
"I should hope not…She's almost enjoying it. Did you see how smug she looked when we told her that we were going to the library?"
"Yeah, what did she think we were going to get up to?" Ron grinned, then stopped short, shock plastered all over his face.
Harry turned to face the direction of Ron's stare.
They both stood, still and stunned. Draco looked up at them from his kiss, blonde lashes hiding his sly and delighted look. When the kiss was finally broken, Draco continued to gaze steadily at the Griffindor pair. Justin turned around, confused at Draco's lack of attention. There was a momentary hiatus, then…
"Oh shit. R-Ron wait."
It was Draco's turn to look confused as Justin sprinted after Ron. Harry felt a little awkward as they just stood there in silence.
"Potter."
"Malfoy."
"What was wrong with the Weasel? Was there something I didn't know about?"
Harry furrowed his brow. He didn't really have the right to disclose any of Ron's personal information to anyone- especially the sworn enemy. Then again, Draco also had a right to know since he had been… he seemed to be… in a relationship with Justin.
"Justin was Ron's first and…"
"…Ron was Justin's first," Draco finished, a look of understanding flickering in his eyes. He smiled inwardly. This was getting better by the minute; it looked like he wouldn't need the dream potion in the end. He clasped the bottle tightly in his robe pocket, feeling the cool glass against his cool skin while he stared straight into Harry's eyes, making him squirm. Was there any jealousy hidden in the green? Not really. Sadness maybe- this surprised Draco. He was Harry Potter for God's sake. He had everything. The potion would have to work.
"I'll be going to the library then." Harry said finally and walked off looking clumsier than he would have liked.
Ron heard footsteps behind him, which simply spurred him on. He had always been a good runner, with long legs, light footing, and good stamina. Justin, however, was just as tall, wiry and fast. By the time he caught up with Ron, they were both running across the school grounds, there shoes pounding the wet grass and sending loud beats into the quiet. Justin sprinted forward in one last burst of energy and managed to catch onto Ron's wrist.
"Ron." He panted, pulling the red-haired boy to a halt.
"Leave me alone, Justin," Ron spat, turning and shaking his wrist free from Justin's light grasp.
"Ron, listen to me. I know this sounds stupid, but it's not how it looked."
Ron smiled humourlessly.
"Really…Let me explain."
"Why should I? Why do you care- we broke up, remember?"
"Of course I care. It was a mutual parting."
"Mutual- my arse! You know very well, that you're the one who fazed me out. I wasn't going to wait for you to start caring again."
"I told you why I couldn't see you anymore, Ron." Justin began to twine his fingers together in frustration. "I want to make something of myself- become Head boy. Prove myself."
"Why couldn't I have been a part of that? Why couldn't *we* have lived that dream together?"
Justin fixed his eyes on some unknown point in the distance. "You know why. You know the judges wouldn't accept a gay candidate. This isn't some fairytale Ron, and anyway, you had Harry."
The deep dejection and pain in his voice, startled Ron. He took Justin's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. He remembered having to do this often. Justin was so shy and self-conscious that even eye contact was uncomfortable to him.
"I was angry with you. You left me."
Justin closed his eyes and frowned, trying to twist out of Ron's grasp.
"And now, after all you said- after all you put me through…You go off with Malfoy!"
"He knew, Ron. He *knew* what I was. I had to…please understand… Ron! Come back!"
Ron gave him a disgusted look as he stormed back to the castle.
Harry held his breath when he heard the door handle turn. Ron had been out for ages and Harry had been tempted to go looking for him, even though it was almost midnight and it was unlikely that he would be found in such a large castle.
"Ron?" Harry whispered to the tall silhouette in the doorway.
Ron walked slowly over to Harry's bed. He had been thinking about this conversation all the while he was roaming the castle in his anger, and had come to a decision.
"Where have you been? Are you alright?"
"Harry…this isn't working." Ron whispered back.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm tired of feeling like this." Harry pulled himself off the bed and motioned for Ron to follow him out into the dim lights of the hallway. They descended the stairway to the empty commonroom, which still had a burning fire in the grate, and chose the sofa nearest to the warmth. Ron picked up the black, iron poker idly, and proceeded to rekindle the fire into its usual cheerful self, while Harry simply looked at him, red hair glowing as bright as the flames.
"Ron, what feeling are you tired of?"
"I- I feel like… I'm worthless." Harry could see the effort it took for his best friend to say those words out loud. Ron eyes were glistening as he stared at the fire. "I've always been overshadowed. By my brothers. By you…"
Harry gasped silently, feeling the need to comfort; wanting to take Ron in his arms and let him cry.
"It was so good when I had Justin. I thought he loved me- was *in* love with me." He exhaled shakily. "Then he rejected me. Hermione didn't even care that I was screwing around with you behind her back." Harry's heart throbbed, knowing the awful part he had played- knowing what would come next. "And you, Harry. You didn't want me either. You were all just playing. You made me love you and then you just closed off."
"Ron?" Harry finally moved across the sofa and cradled Ron in his arms. "Ron, you are not worthless. You will never be worthless to me. I love you. You're my best friend, and I'll always be there. And Ron? I understand why you want to break up with me. We work so much better as just friends."
Ron stifled a sob and buried his face deeper into Harry's shoulder.
"You may not think that I understand. But I do. The Dursley's made me feel exactly the same… I'm so sorry that I've done the same to you. I'm so sorry…" A single tear escaped from his eye.
The two boys sat through the night, comforting each other in their shared misery.
The tiny bottle shattered unrelentingly on the stone floor, a trickle of green leaking out and manoeuvring itself gracefully around the shards of invisible glass. Dry moonlight filtered through the dirty window, making the broken pieces sparkle ethereally, so that the stone seemed to be covered with fine metal filings.
Draco gritted his teeth in anger, pushing the other bottles off the tiny desk and indulging in the inevitable crunch and tinkle of broken glass. Destruction gave him a sense of authority. The faded pages of the spell book lay open in front of him. The over-decorative script and worn binding betrayed its age. He turned to the small pewter cauldron behind him and inspected the contents. The liquid within was so thick that it was almost a paste. Damn potion. For once, Draco wished that he had studied harder in Potions. He still felt the sing of failure although the potion was an advanced level of magic and also dark magic. Large bubbles grew on the thick surface and popped suddenly. Draco made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. Taking a small pipette, he tried to suck up the spilled contents of the tiny bottle. On dropping it into the cauldron, the potion hissed a little and satisfactorily changed colour. Ah, this looked more promising. Draco chose a clear vile from the shelf above him and scooped up some of the liquid.
Leaving no trace of the potion brewing, Draco left the unused classroom with the vile in his hand.
AN: I think this story may be coming to a close. Please tell me what you think, or give me some suggestions as to an ending. I have the plot conclusion sort of worked out, but some other ideas would be great. Want to hear more out of a particular character or something?
For readers of 'Surreal??'…I know I should be writing more, but I've kinda lost inspiration for it. Hopefully it will be back soon.
Thanks for your reviews.
~finite
Ha! Now that you have been warned, you can only blame yourself for getting offended.
Part V: Forgotten dreams
And so I said to her:
How doth the fickle weather fair on your far side of town?
Hath bird and bee both acknowledged it, and consented to fly down?
From lightest autumn air unto its golden crown,
Which soon will drop its many jewels onto ungrateful ground.
Draco's even breathing held together the silence of shadows, which curled their way round him and the other still objects that lined the corridor. He could still taste the fear in those salty tears. And when the fear took on a different form; turned into respect and want…Justin made himself accessible to him. He had wanted Draco's kisses. That was over a week ago though, and he was yet again lingering in the indoor darkness, as he had on that first day.
It seemed like a long time ago that Draco had pulled Justin with him into the shadows. And the routine had carried on through the week, with Justin coming to meet him every night. As Draco reminded him, he had no choice: not if he wanted a certain little secret to remain covered up. The Hogwarts committee made it known that they were adamantly fair when it came to choosing the Head-boy, but everyone had worked out long ago that the school could not afford to be fair. Sacrifices had to be made- Hogwarts' Head-boy could be nothing less than perfect. They represented *Hogwarts* after all.
Draco cocked his head at the sound of footsteps.
A milky white hand darted out to latch onto the other boy's upper arm. Justin stumbled in the darkness. He should have been used to this by now; it had been the same every night. He took a deep breath awaiting what this session had in store for him- what Draco had in store for him.
A snaking arm wound round his waist and pulled him into the wall.
"Hello Justin. Miss me?" The soft chilling voice hissed in his ear. He clenched his fists and hoped that Draco wouldn't hear his racing heart. His eyes were wide with apprehension.
"Have you no answer for me?" Draco pressed the whole length of his body against Justin's making the boy shudder in response.
"I've got you what you wanted." The quiet voice trembled in its guilt. Draco smiled an artful smile; radiant in the candlelight, as Justin pulled away slightly and uncurled his fist to show the tiny bottle in his palm. It was made out of impossibly fine-glass that, were it not magically enhanced, would have shattered under the force of gravity alone. The tiny amount of jewel-green liquid lay sinless on the bottom, sealed in by an equally tiny glass stopper in the top.
He took the bottle in his slender fingers and held it up, his eyes focussed on the sparkling, clear green liquid. It was as cold and piercing as his eyes.
Justin stepped back silently.
"Thank you." Draco whispered, pocketing the bottle. He leaned towards Justin and cupped the other boy's face in his hands. "And I've got what *you* want." He pulled Justin down for a kiss, light and teasing. It was always the same; Justin would try to resist, until Draco would bite him mercilessly, and then he would comply. The kiss would deepen, with Draco being harsh. And suddenly he would pull away as if nothing had happened at all. This time was no different.
Justin was breathing hard; the two figures were still pressed into the corner.
"Did you have trouble?"
"No. Snape was out when I broke in." Came the breathless reply.
"Last night?"
Justin nodded. "Draco…I've got to go."
Draco smirked ruthlessly and kissed him again.
"And she knew all that time."
"What I find amazing, is that she wasn't angry at all."
"If your Florence ever found out…"
Ron and Harry turned the corner.
"Why wasn't she upset?"
"Hermione? Well, you never seemed that serious to me."
"…At least she promised not to say anything."
"I should hope not…She's almost enjoying it. Did you see how smug she looked when we told her that we were going to the library?"
"Yeah, what did she think we were going to get up to?" Ron grinned, then stopped short, shock plastered all over his face.
Harry turned to face the direction of Ron's stare.
They both stood, still and stunned. Draco looked up at them from his kiss, blonde lashes hiding his sly and delighted look. When the kiss was finally broken, Draco continued to gaze steadily at the Griffindor pair. Justin turned around, confused at Draco's lack of attention. There was a momentary hiatus, then…
"Oh shit. R-Ron wait."
It was Draco's turn to look confused as Justin sprinted after Ron. Harry felt a little awkward as they just stood there in silence.
"Potter."
"Malfoy."
"What was wrong with the Weasel? Was there something I didn't know about?"
Harry furrowed his brow. He didn't really have the right to disclose any of Ron's personal information to anyone- especially the sworn enemy. Then again, Draco also had a right to know since he had been… he seemed to be… in a relationship with Justin.
"Justin was Ron's first and…"
"…Ron was Justin's first," Draco finished, a look of understanding flickering in his eyes. He smiled inwardly. This was getting better by the minute; it looked like he wouldn't need the dream potion in the end. He clasped the bottle tightly in his robe pocket, feeling the cool glass against his cool skin while he stared straight into Harry's eyes, making him squirm. Was there any jealousy hidden in the green? Not really. Sadness maybe- this surprised Draco. He was Harry Potter for God's sake. He had everything. The potion would have to work.
"I'll be going to the library then." Harry said finally and walked off looking clumsier than he would have liked.
Ron heard footsteps behind him, which simply spurred him on. He had always been a good runner, with long legs, light footing, and good stamina. Justin, however, was just as tall, wiry and fast. By the time he caught up with Ron, they were both running across the school grounds, there shoes pounding the wet grass and sending loud beats into the quiet. Justin sprinted forward in one last burst of energy and managed to catch onto Ron's wrist.
"Ron." He panted, pulling the red-haired boy to a halt.
"Leave me alone, Justin," Ron spat, turning and shaking his wrist free from Justin's light grasp.
"Ron, listen to me. I know this sounds stupid, but it's not how it looked."
Ron smiled humourlessly.
"Really…Let me explain."
"Why should I? Why do you care- we broke up, remember?"
"Of course I care. It was a mutual parting."
"Mutual- my arse! You know very well, that you're the one who fazed me out. I wasn't going to wait for you to start caring again."
"I told you why I couldn't see you anymore, Ron." Justin began to twine his fingers together in frustration. "I want to make something of myself- become Head boy. Prove myself."
"Why couldn't I have been a part of that? Why couldn't *we* have lived that dream together?"
Justin fixed his eyes on some unknown point in the distance. "You know why. You know the judges wouldn't accept a gay candidate. This isn't some fairytale Ron, and anyway, you had Harry."
The deep dejection and pain in his voice, startled Ron. He took Justin's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. He remembered having to do this often. Justin was so shy and self-conscious that even eye contact was uncomfortable to him.
"I was angry with you. You left me."
Justin closed his eyes and frowned, trying to twist out of Ron's grasp.
"And now, after all you said- after all you put me through…You go off with Malfoy!"
"He knew, Ron. He *knew* what I was. I had to…please understand… Ron! Come back!"
Ron gave him a disgusted look as he stormed back to the castle.
Harry held his breath when he heard the door handle turn. Ron had been out for ages and Harry had been tempted to go looking for him, even though it was almost midnight and it was unlikely that he would be found in such a large castle.
"Ron?" Harry whispered to the tall silhouette in the doorway.
Ron walked slowly over to Harry's bed. He had been thinking about this conversation all the while he was roaming the castle in his anger, and had come to a decision.
"Where have you been? Are you alright?"
"Harry…this isn't working." Ron whispered back.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm tired of feeling like this." Harry pulled himself off the bed and motioned for Ron to follow him out into the dim lights of the hallway. They descended the stairway to the empty commonroom, which still had a burning fire in the grate, and chose the sofa nearest to the warmth. Ron picked up the black, iron poker idly, and proceeded to rekindle the fire into its usual cheerful self, while Harry simply looked at him, red hair glowing as bright as the flames.
"Ron, what feeling are you tired of?"
"I- I feel like… I'm worthless." Harry could see the effort it took for his best friend to say those words out loud. Ron eyes were glistening as he stared at the fire. "I've always been overshadowed. By my brothers. By you…"
Harry gasped silently, feeling the need to comfort; wanting to take Ron in his arms and let him cry.
"It was so good when I had Justin. I thought he loved me- was *in* love with me." He exhaled shakily. "Then he rejected me. Hermione didn't even care that I was screwing around with you behind her back." Harry's heart throbbed, knowing the awful part he had played- knowing what would come next. "And you, Harry. You didn't want me either. You were all just playing. You made me love you and then you just closed off."
"Ron?" Harry finally moved across the sofa and cradled Ron in his arms. "Ron, you are not worthless. You will never be worthless to me. I love you. You're my best friend, and I'll always be there. And Ron? I understand why you want to break up with me. We work so much better as just friends."
Ron stifled a sob and buried his face deeper into Harry's shoulder.
"You may not think that I understand. But I do. The Dursley's made me feel exactly the same… I'm so sorry that I've done the same to you. I'm so sorry…" A single tear escaped from his eye.
The two boys sat through the night, comforting each other in their shared misery.
The tiny bottle shattered unrelentingly on the stone floor, a trickle of green leaking out and manoeuvring itself gracefully around the shards of invisible glass. Dry moonlight filtered through the dirty window, making the broken pieces sparkle ethereally, so that the stone seemed to be covered with fine metal filings.
Draco gritted his teeth in anger, pushing the other bottles off the tiny desk and indulging in the inevitable crunch and tinkle of broken glass. Destruction gave him a sense of authority. The faded pages of the spell book lay open in front of him. The over-decorative script and worn binding betrayed its age. He turned to the small pewter cauldron behind him and inspected the contents. The liquid within was so thick that it was almost a paste. Damn potion. For once, Draco wished that he had studied harder in Potions. He still felt the sing of failure although the potion was an advanced level of magic and also dark magic. Large bubbles grew on the thick surface and popped suddenly. Draco made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. Taking a small pipette, he tried to suck up the spilled contents of the tiny bottle. On dropping it into the cauldron, the potion hissed a little and satisfactorily changed colour. Ah, this looked more promising. Draco chose a clear vile from the shelf above him and scooped up some of the liquid.
Leaving no trace of the potion brewing, Draco left the unused classroom with the vile in his hand.
AN: I think this story may be coming to a close. Please tell me what you think, or give me some suggestions as to an ending. I have the plot conclusion sort of worked out, but some other ideas would be great. Want to hear more out of a particular character or something?
For readers of 'Surreal??'…I know I should be writing more, but I've kinda lost inspiration for it. Hopefully it will be back soon.
Thanks for your reviews.
~finite
