Deep Within

Deep Within
By Jen

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?
How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?
Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

- The One I Gave My Heart To Aaliyah

Chapter 2 –Departure: "I Need to Move on. Sayonara… Sayonara."

Mei looked around disapprovingly at the sleeping bodies of the drunken Oniwabanshuu. She stepped over their bodies so that she would be able to move to Misao's room. She moved until she was in front of Misao's door and tried to open it, but the door wouldn't budge. Something was blocking her from opening the door. She felt for Misao's chi, and could not find it. Mei tried knocking on the door to wake Misao. When she did not get a response, Mei began to pound on the door, trying vainly to knock it down. The commotion awoke the other ninjas in the room, and they found Mei trying to knock down Misao's door. Mei was calling Misao's name loudly.

"What's wrong, Mei?" Okina asked as he tried to calm the hysterical girl down. Mei broke loose from his arms and tried again to open the door that was separating her from her friend. Shiro and Kuro helped hold her back as Okina again questioned her. Mei's face was flushed with fury, worry, and fear.

"Misao. Misao's chi is missing. I can't feel her chi." Mei tried again to break from their hold and this time they let her go. Okina tried to reach's Misao's chi and found nothing also. "Mei is right. I can't feel Misao's chi." Okina, Shiro and Kuro began to help her try to break down the door. Omasu and Okon rushed to Aoshi's room to awaken him and Yuri. They knocked on the door frantically waiting for an answer. "Aoshi-sama! Yuri-san! Wake up!"

Aoshi woke up at the call of his name, and he felt Yuri stir beside him. They both noted the anxiety in Omasu's and Okon's voices. They both dressed quickly and opened the door to find Omasu and Okon both wearing distressed faces.

"Please hurry! It's Misao-chan. Okina can't feel her chi, and her door won't open! Please Aoshi-sama!"

But Aoshi was already racing to Misao's room, leaving the women to follow him. When they arrived, they saw Misao's door opened. They entered, not sure of what they would find. The scene that greeted them, was less than encouraging. Mei was weeping in Shiro's arms, and Kuro was trying to help Okina sit up. Misao's futon was neatly folded in the corner and on top of it was a long bundle of black hair. And her ninja uniform.

"She's gone." Aoshi looked up at the weak tone in Okina's voice. Kuro and Omasu were still trying to help him, as he stood up. "She's gone. Left. She's never coming back. It's my entire fault. My angel is never coming back"

Everyone looked startled at the news, and they finally noticed the letter that he held in his hands. Mei took the letter from his hands and read it aloud to everyone.

Minna,

By the time you find this letter, I will be long gone. Where? I'm not really sure.

//A young male walked into a nearby restaurant to rest after a long night of traveling. //

All I know is that I needed to leave. To get as far away as I can from Kyoto.

// The young man warily sat down in the corner of the place, hoping to draw as little attention to himself as possible. //

I realize that I can no longer stay here. The memories are too painful.

// The waitress watched the young man as he sat in the corner. He was small in frame and had dark bluish black hair. She approached him and asked for his order. When he looked up, she was startled to see such sorrowful blue eyes. The mysterious boy forced a smile and ordered a bowl of rice and tea. //

For the past two years, I done everything I could for everyone. Kept everyone safe and happy. I have been through so much in the past years. Wounds were inflicted upon my heart. Wounds, that I believe, could never be healed if I stayed in Kyoto.

// The waitress brought the male his meal, and quietly observed him from across the room. The male took off his hat and began to devour the meal quickly. He took his time as he sipped the tea. She moved to clear away his dishes, but stopped when she saw the blood on his arms.

"Are you alright, sir? What happened? Do you need some help?"

The male looked up at her and shook his head. "I'm okay. The wounds are old. I just need to replace the bandages." //

I tried to ignore them. I tried to ignore the pain that I was feeling, but it was far too great. I started to contemplate death. Soon I began to starve myself and even cut my wrists. I was always wondering why? Why do I feel this way? I doubt no one had noticed my unusual behavior, as you were busy with other things.

Silence.

// "Thank you." The boy smiled at the waitress as he left.

"Matte!" she called out. "What is your name?"

The male seemed to be at a loss for words, but after a while he answered, "…Ryuuen."

"Ryuuen." The waitress repeated, suddenly feeling sympathy for the mysterious youth, " Have a safe journey. Where ever you may be going." //

I spent most of my time weeping in my room. I do not remember the last time I had actually smiled. The tears will not come anymore. How I want to cry, but the tears won't come.

// Slowly a smile spread across, Ryuuen's features. "Thank you."

The waitress thought Ryuuen had the most wonderful smile and found herself smiling back at him. //

Now I have decided to leave. To find myself again. I have resolved to never return to Kyoto. Minna, please do not follow me. I am sorry for any grievances I have caused, but this is my choice and I wish that you respect it and leave me be. I have turned over my position as okashira back to Aoshi. I write this letter to bid farewell and ask of you two favors. Please move on and forget me. Second, please be happy. For my sake be happy and forget.

// Ryuuen left the comfort of the restaurant and company of the waitress to face the lonely, hard road ahead of him. He arrived at a crossroad. The signs pointed to Tokyo and Kyoto. He chose the road to Tokyo, but soon headed off the road to wander around the forest. I'm not going to Tokyo just yet. Knowing everyone, they probably would follow me there and drag me back with them. //

I need to move on. Sayonara… Sayonara.

Misao

Mei finished the letter, and there was nothing. Just silence. Unbearable silence.


Author's Notes: Enough angst for you? No? Ok. Sorry this chapter was so short. I really couldn't think of what else to write for it. I probably will come back later and revise it. I decided to make Mei one of the supporting characters in the story. She is Misao's childhood friend, whom cares for Misao more than anyone else probably does.

Ok now for the fun part:

*Feedback* Loved it? Hate it? Send comments! *Begs* Please? I really need them. I would take any suggestions on how to make the fic better. This is my first Aoshi-Misao fic, or rather first ever fic, and I know I could improve. -_-