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New Life
Where You Are

Disclaimer: Not mine...wish they were but not.
Author's Note: Sorry it took my sooooooo long. Writer's block is a bitch!!! But I hope you guys like it. Drop me a line and let me know.
Props: Props to Stone Cold who beta read it for me. Thanks!!!
* * * * * * * * * *
There are times
I swear I know you're here
When I forget about my fears
Feeling you my dear
Watching over me
My hope seeks what the future will bring
When you wrap me in your wings
And take me where you are
Where you and I will breath together once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight just like we used to do
And you'll be smiling back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be where you are
And I can see you face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh how I see your star shining down on me
And I'd do anything
If I could just be right there where you are
Where you and I will breath together once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight just like we used to do
And you'll be smiling back at me
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free
So take me where you are
And baby there are times when selfishly I wish that you were here with me
So I could wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see
And every night while you are dreaming I'm here to guard you from a far
And any time I feel alone I close my eyes and dream of where you are
And We will be together baby
We'll be dancing in the moonlight
And You'll be smiling back at me
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free
Baby I still believe
I got to believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are
I've got to believe
I will still be waiting here
~Where You Are
~Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey
* * * * * * * * * *
Pacey was standing at the front of the church waiting for the best day of his life. The day that the love of his life was going to walk down the aisle and become his wife and stay with him forever. Forever. There was a term that just years before meeting her he never thought he would want to hear. But when he laid eyes on her, he knew that he could never have it any other way. It had to be forever. He had to be with her till he was old and gray. And he was going to be. He loved her more than he ever knew he was capable of loving anyone. Veronica had become the one force in his life that he could always count on. She was his destiny.
Pacey never knew that love could bring such a wonderful sense of peace to his life. He never knew that someone could complete him the way she had. She was perfect. Their love was perfect. She loved him unconditionally. No questions asked. The same way he loved her. He was going to show her how happy they could be together. Nothing could ever make him quit loving. She was his heart and soul.
As she walked towards him, he felt himself smile. He couldn't help it. With her approach, all his hopes and dreams were walking with her. His happiness, his need to be wanted, and the need to be loved. She loved him. And he could never see himself with anyone else. Something was out of sort though. He'd seen her veil before, but it never covered her face. Something wasn't right. When she stood next to him, he gently lifted the veil...suddenly, he was no longer in the church.
Pacey was standing over the battered body of his lifeless wife. Her face had numerous scrapes and scratches, her lips were purple, her eyes...closed forever. There was his forever. His forever was on that table in a sleep that she would never wake up from. He felt his heart melt into his stomach as he saw her perfect body remain still.
The doctor looked up at him and asked him the question once again. "Is this your wife?"
He couldn't answer. He found himself unable to form any thought other than the fact that he was never going to come down stairs and find her cooking, or come home and find her sleeping on the couch watching a movie, and he was never going to be able to make love to her again, and Sam was never going to know how very special her mother really was. She was never going to get to know that magnificent person who could make a room light up with her smile.
He nodded his head, and the doctor once again covered her face. Pacey looked up at the man and saw the sympathy on his face. Pacey felt the tears spring to his eyes. He'd never felt so alone, so lost, so empty. At that moment, his heart died. She took it with her. She was his heart. The only other person in his life that he was able to love beyond that point was his beautiful young daughter, Samantha. How was he going to tell her that her mother was gone and wasn't coming back? How was he going to explain that to her? How was he going to tell her family that their precious Veronica was never again going to be there when one of them had a problem? How was he going to live in that house where every where he turned there would be precious memories of them together?
Pacey sat up in his bed covered in sweat. He couldn't breath. He felt his tears running from his eyes and couldn't care less. His wife was gone. His love was gone. Pacey saw his door open slowly and a small head popped inside.
"Daddy," she whispered.
"Come here baby."
Sam ran to her father who was crying for reasons she didn't understand. She cried too. She didn't know why she was crying but she was. She saw her dad hurting. She was the only one that ever saw him hurting. He hid it from everyone else.
He hugged his daughter. He felt her little body tremble as he rocked her slowly. He pulled her away from his shoulder and looked into her eyes. Her little rosy cheeks now had a trails of tears down them. Pacey felt awful. He knew she'd heard him from her room and came to see about him. It happened almost every night.
"Are...are...you okay, daddy?"
"Yeah, sweetie. I'm okay. I just needed my baby to hug me."
Sam wrapped her arms around him tighter. Pacey looked at his bed side table and saw the clock. It was later than he thought. Pacey sat her in his lap and swiped away the tears from her small face. He tried to smile and reassure her that he was okay.
"It's time for breakfast. You want to get some?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay. Go get dressed."
"I love you Daddy."
"I love you too sweetie," he said with a smile. She climbed off his bed and ran out the door. Pacey got out of bed and got dressed. He hoped that Sam would be happy here. He hoped that Capeside would bring more happiness in her life than it had in his. For his youth, Capeside had brought it's share of happy times as well as sad times. He was a little relieved that someone from his past was at least around. And what a strange someone! Joey. Of all the people it could have been from his past, it had to be Joey.
Pacey quickly got dressed, then went to check on Sam. Pacey knocked on her door, "Sam, you ready?"
"Yep."
She opened the door and was wearing her ballerina costume. He couldn't help but laugh. She looked so precious.
"You're going to eat breakfast in that?"
"Yep."
"Uh...no. Come on, let's find you something else to wear."
"But I wanna wear this."
"I know you do, but you can't get in the McDonald's Play Place in that."
Her face lit up. "McDonald's!"
"Yeah. Now will you change?"
"Yes sir!"
Five minutes later they were walking out of the house. She climbed into the Jeep and seat belted herself in. Pacey watched her little hands fasten the belt. He couldn't believe how old she'd gotten and right before his eyes. He could still remember her being born and here she was, six years old.
"Daddy, let's go!"
"Okay. Calm down, it's not going anywhere."

Pacey and Sam had been there fifteen minutes when he saw Joey and Noah walk in. Joey saw them, the approached, pulling Noah along with her. He was fighting, trying to squirm out of her grip so he could go outside into the play place and go wild. Joey was going to make him eat first.
"Morning, Jo. Looks like you have your hands full."
"You can say that again. Stop!"
Noah quit wiggling and remained quiet.
"Sam, you remember Joey, right?"
"Mhmmm."
"Noah, say good morning to Pacey and Sam."
He waved slowly. Pacey could tell just by looking at the way Joey handled Noah that at times he was more than she could handle. His resemblance to Dawson still awed him. Same eyes, same hair, same determination.
"Mommy, can I go play now?"
"Not until you eat."
"But I don't wanna eat!"
"Noah, behave."
"Please, Mommy. Please!"
Joey sighed. Pacey could see that she was about to give into him. Noah seemed to be able to manipulate Joey the same way Dawson used to. Dawson could have gotten Joey to do anything if he'd just look at her a certain way. Noah inherited that ability from his father.
"Noah, you have to eat."
"But...I don't want to eat!"
"Fine, I won't feed you later if you're hungry." She released the boys hand and he ran outside.
"Can I go now Daddy?"
"Yeah."
The little girl ran outside following the rowdy little boy. Joey took Sam's seat and propped her head on her hand. She let out a sigh and looked up at her long time friend who was smiling at her.
"What?"
"He got a lot more from Dawson than his looks. He has his personality."
"I know."
"So..."
"So, how do you like your new house?"
"I like it. It's not a home."
Joey saw Pacey's expression change from goofy to pain. She'd never seen anyone go through such a metamorphosis. She would gladly take the obnoxious Pacey Witter over this hollow shell of a man before her. She would gladly take the boy that used to pull her hair and call her names over the Pacey she saw before her.
"I know."
Pacey looked down at his food then back up at her. "Joey, when your...your mom died...what made you so...afraid?"
Joey thought for a moment. "I don't know. I guess the fact that I would never see her smile, or hear her talk to me again. I didn't know who was going to take care of me seeing as how my dad was put in prison."
"Then you were with Bessie."
"Yeah."
"How is she?"
Joey laughed. "She's Bessie, what can I say?"
"So she, Bodie, and Alex are doing good?"
"Great. Alex, you wouldn't believe how tall he is. He might be taller than you."
"How old is he now?"
"Fifteen I think. He's become quiet the little heartbreaker," she said with a smile.
"So...have you heard from Jen?"
"Every day. She lives in Chicago with her husband, Nicholas. She's trying to have a baby."
"Jen's married and she talks to you every day. Pacey Witter welcome to the Twilight Zone."
Joey laughed. "You act surprised. The only thing that ever kept us from not becoming friends was Dawson. Once those issues were resolved we've been best friends."
"Things have really changed."
"Yeah. They have. Take you for instance."
"Me?"
"Yeah, you. What happened to the guy that used to call me 'ice queen'? What happened to the guy I used to refer to as 'jail bait'?"
Pacey laughed. "Those were the days. I really miss them."
"Me too. But you can't dwell in the past. You have to move forward. Speaking of which, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"
"I don't know. I still have some unpacking to do."
"Well, instead of doing that, why don't you and Sam come with us?"
"Where?"
"Swimming."
"Where are you going to go swimming?"
"In my pool."
"You have a pool?"
"Yes. Besides, you know me, I love water."
"Yeah you do. You did always seem to gravitate towards it."
"Only when you were around. You always pushed me in."
"Hey, I only pushed you in twice."
Joey raised her eye brow. "Okay, four times."
"Sounds about right."
"But you got me back for that."
"How?"
"You hit me."
"Yeah, like hitting you is worse than it being forty degrees outside and being thrown into a freezing creek. I thought I was going to freeze to death."
Pacey just sat staring at one of his oldest friends and feeling the same things he did for her in high school. All he ever wanted her to do was give him a chance. She never did. She was always interested in Dawson and always would be. But, the Joey he saw in front of him was completely independent. She didn't need Dawson Leery or anyone else's help. That was something he'd always admired about her. She didn't need anybody's help. She'd rather do it on her own or die trying. Asking for help was something she was never very good at.
Pacey suddenly felt this overwhelming sensation of guilt as he began feeling the same things for Joey that he did when he was a boy. His wife, whom he loved more than he ever thought he could ever love anyone, was dead and he was having feelings for another woman. But it wasn't just some other woman. It was Joey. It was the girl that made his hormones as a teenager go into overload. She made him feel like a man. Some thing he'd never felt before he saw Joey in a bikini. And now she wanted him to go swimming with her.
"So...you gonna come with me or not?"
"Sure. I'll get Sam and meet you at your place."
Joey smiled. "Now here comes the impossible task of getting Noah to come out here and eat."
Pacey stood offering her his hand to help her up. Joey walked outside followed by Pacey.
"Noah. Come here."
"No."
"Come here now!"
"But Mommy!"
"Noah, I'm going to count to five."
"Okay."
Pacey smiled. The little boy was stubborn. He reminded him of him when he was five. His mother could never get him to mind. He would always do the exact opposite of what he was told. To be young again would mean no cares, no worries, no bills. To bad there was no way to be young again.
Sam came running out of the play place and grabbed her dad's leg. She looked up at him and gave him the sweetest smile he'd ever seen. She was so cute sometimes that it just shocked him. She had to ability to make him blissfully happy with just a smile. She was his life now. She was his reason for living.
"Hey Daddy."
"Hey Princess. Do you wanna go swimming?"
"Yeah! Where?"
"At Joey's."
"Okay. Can we go now?"
Pacey turned to see Joey putting Noah's shoes on him. The more he watched her the guiltier he felt. He couldn't help it. She could still make him feel all these feelings that were there when he was sixteen. How? Why?
"Jo, what time do you want us to be there?"
"In about an hour. You need directions right?"
"Yeah those would help. That is unless you have big flashing lights that say 'Home of the Ice Queen'." He said smiling.
"Jerk."
"Prude."
"Daddy, what's a prude?"
Pacey looked down at his daughter, "I'll explain later."
Joey started laughing, she pulled a pen out of her purse and began writing the directions on his hand. Both Noah and Sam were completely confused. Since the two had seen each other again they were acting strange. Pacey seemed to be a little happier and Joey was happier.
"Come on Sam. Let's go find our bathing suits."
"Okay. Bye Noah."
"Bye Sam."
"See ya in a few Joey."
"Yeah. Come on, Noah, let's eat."

An hour later...
Pacey pulled up to the house at the address that Joey had written on his hand. He grabbed the gym bag out of the back and took Sam's hand helping her out of the car. Pacey's house was pretty big but it was no where near this size. Sam strained her neck trying to look up at it.
It was a type of colonial house with large white pillars and a large front porch. Above the porch was a balcony that expanded across the front of the house. The house was white with three bay windows. The long brown fence surrounded the pool. The front door were large and mostly glass.
Pacey and Sam walked up to the front door. He noticed the swing that had hung on their house when he was younger. She took the swing. Joey was always sentimental in that respect. That was the swing that she and her mother used to sit in at night and look at the stars. It was the swing where she cried when her mom died. In every aspect of the word, that was her swing.
The front door opened to reveal Joey in a black bikini top and cut off shorts. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail with stay hairs having fallen out and framed her face. Her eyes seemed to dance with happiness.
"Come in. Noah's in the kitchen waiting to go out."
Pacey smiled. That's all he could do. The last time he saw Joey in a bathing suit they were seventeen and she hadn't completely finished growing. But the Joey he saw in front of him was definitely done growing. The girl...girl nothing...the woman in front of him left him speechless.
Sam pulled her dad with her, following Joey into the kitchen. The kitchen was huge. Most of it windows. There was a large island in the middle that had a mixer, blender, and a cutting board sitting on it. Noah was sitting at the large table with his wings on his arms. His face lit up when he saw them.
"Can I go out side now?"
"No. You have to wait for me."
"But Mommy...you said I could go when they go here."
"You can't go without me."
"Fine," he said stubbornly.
Joey shook her head and looked over at Pacey. "Just like Dawson."
Pacey laughed. He nodded in agreement.
"You want something to drink, Pace? Sam?"
"I'm fine."
"No thank you."
"Can we go now?"
"Fine. Go Noah."
Noah open the kitchen door and ran onto the porch. Joey, Sam, and Pacey followed. Sam ran after him and hit the water soon after he did. Pacey watched Sam swim and have fun with Noah. Noah splashed her and she splashed back. She was in ways a tomboy. She didn't really like wearing dresses and if it was a dress with was usually her ballerina costume.
Joey showed Pacey the chairs and he took the one next to her. He just watched his daughter. She was so cute. Pacey'd taught her to swim years ago. He didn't realize how handy that would come in later. It was a good thing he had.
"So, is everything the same way you remember it?"
Pacey looked down and saw Joey settled in her chair. She must have removed her shorts sometime while he was watching Sam. He couldn't find his voice. All he could do was stare at her legs. The guilt was mounting up. He knew that he shouldn't be staring but he couldn't tear his eyes away.
"A few things have changed." He said letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Fine."
He tried to do something that would allow him not to look at her. Pacey pulled his shirt over his head. Now it was Joey's turn to stare. She only saw bodies that cut on old episodes of 'Baywatch' with David Chokachi. She was in awe. You could see distinctly, ever muscle in his stomach. Joey had to remind herself to breath. It was hard to do with Pacey coming very close to having the body of an Adonis and the face of an old crush. She always had a crush on Pacey, but never told him that. That would have made his head grow about six inches. He was conceded enough without telling him of her secret longing for him. That was just something that would forever remain her secret. There was no need in anyone else knowing.
"What?" He asked after a minute.
"Just thinking about how good it is to see you again."
"You too Jo. I really missed our friendship."
"Me too, Pace. Me too."
* * * * * * * * * *
To Be Continued...