Deep
Within
By Jen
Everywhere I go I see your
face
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why are you haunting me
Why can't I let you go
Why are you haunting me?
-Haunting Me Stabbing Westward
Chapter
6: Feverish Dreams: 'What happened in Kyoto?'
"Sa-kun?!"
Okina hear Mei's voice and recognized the male figure. He watched as Mei spoke
with Sa. What Ai's boy doing in Kyoto. Not unless-
"Urgent
message from Tokyo!"
Misao?!
Okina and the rest of the Oniwabanshuu ran out to where Mei and Sa were
speaking. Sa noticed Okina and went up to him.
"Okina-san
urgent message from okaasan! Misao-sama has arrived in Tokyo."
"She
just arrived in Tokyo? Did she look alright?" Okina pressed Sa for more
answers, but he shook her head. "I don't know. Okaasan said that she saw
Misao fighting a gang of thugs that were trying to hurt Tae-san. She took care
of them easily, but okaasan said that she was hurt by one of the gangster. One
of them had managed to cut Misao with his knife."
Mei
gasped, "What happened? Is Misao alright?"
"We're
not sure yet."
"When
did she arrive?"
"Four
days ago. As soon as she arrived, okaasan sent me here with a message."
Mei stood up. "I'm going to Tokyo." She saw the looks on the other's faces and added. "Alone."
Yuri was incredulous, "Demo…we want to see Misao-san too."
Mei shook her head. "Iie. I doubt Misao is ready to see any of you. If you think about it. She said that she didn't want to come back to Kyoto ever again. I'm sure she just wants to forget everything that happened and move on. I'm going to visit her because I know she needs me. Out of all of us in this room, she probably wouldn't mind seeing me."
The Oniwabanshuu looked down, guilt clearly on their faces. Sa looked around. "Where's Aoshi-sama?"
"He's at the temple."
"Shouldn't we let him know about Misao."
"Hai. I'll go tell him." Yuri walked off, leaving them.
"When are you going to leave?" Okina asked Sa and Mei.
"Now."
"Nani?!"
"Misao might need me. I'm leaving now." Mei and Sa prepared for the journey and before night settled in they were on their way to Tokyo.
"How is she?"
Megumi shook her head. It had been more than a week since they had found Misao. Her condition hadn't improved over time, not they only seem to worsen. She would often cry out in her feverish manners, and Megumi wondered what dream could be hurting Misao so much.
"It depends on her will to live. If she doesn't want to live, then she doesn't have long."
"Can't we help her? Isn't there anything we could do to help her?"
"Iie. It's all up to Misao-chan now."
"Kami-sama please help her."
"Misao… Misao…"
Misao awoke to the sound of her name echoing through her ear. She blinked and found herself in complete and total darkness. She got up and blindly walked around.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?"
Suddenly she found herself running fast towards a place, her
heart racing. She had to get there… but where was she going? Her eyes widened
when she saw her destination, and she tried with all her might to stop. But
nothing could stop the past, and she found herself throwing a door open. She
tried to look away, but to no avail. All she could see was Jiya falling to floor
as if lifeless, blood spewing everywhere, and she saw Aoshi's cold figure
walking past her, uttering those words that tore her heart apart as it had done
that day two years ago. Misao tried to run after him and again the scene changed
showing her another memory. She ran towards Aoshi and hugged him, smiling and
welcoming him home. She tried to ignore the pain she felt when he snubbed her.
"Aoshi-sama."
"Nande?"
Misao jumped as
she realized the scene had changed again. She watched as the figure of herself
say something to Aoshi, and running away with tears in his eyes at his response.
Misao turned away remembering the words that had begun it all… the words that
had destroyed her. 'I don't love you.'
Misao turned away from Aoshi's impassive figure, not wanting to see his face after that confrontation. But if she had continued looking at him, she would have seen the single tear that had suddenly came from his eyes, dropping silently onto the wooden temple floor. If she had continued to look at him, she would have seen the anguish on his face, but she didn't. She had turned away to avoid the pain of that memory.
"How much further to Tokyo?" Mei asked Sa as they continued to travel quickly.
"We should be there tomorrow afternoon." Sa glanced at his companion and saw her face determination mixed with distress. "Daijobou ka? We should take a break."
"Iie. I'm fine. I just want to get to Tokyo. Misao needs me. I'm the only one who can understand her right now."
Misao was once again plunged into
the darkness; the scene before her changed and she heard voices. "Are you sure
about this?"
"Hai. We're going to
get married, ne?"
"Aa."
"Then it's fine.
Aishiteru, Aoshi."
"Aa. Aishiteru."
Misao's eyes widened and
she gasped in horror. She huddled closer into the closet, and covered her ears
from the less desirable sounds coming from the other side of the closet. When
she took her hand away from her ears, she heard herself knocking on Yuri's
door and the conversation that seemed to decide her fate. She saw herself
running away from the scene and towards Mei's clinic. Misao wondered why she
could not see herself anymore, but then heard Aoshi and Yuri's conversation.
The conversation they had after she ran off.
"Anata, did you notice
something different about Misao-san?"
"…" Misao found
herself in Yuri's place during the conversation.
"She seems so distant
and ill lately. Perhaps you should talk to her."
"Iie. That's not
necessary. Misao is just going through adjustments right now."
"What sort of
adjustments?"
"Us."
"Nani?"
"Misao had this childish
infatuation with me, and it seems that she believed that she really loved me."
"… that poor girl."
Misao suddenly felt herself grow cold. Was that all it was…is? A childish crush? It can't be… for if it was, then she wouldn't feel all the pain she was feeling now. A childish crush? No, it couldn't be…
"Megumi-sensei!"
Yu called out frantically and ran out of the room in search of Megumi.
"Megumi-sensei! Hayaku!"
He
found Megumi with Kaoru in the dining room having tea. The women looked up when
he burst through the door. "Yu-kun? Daijobou?"
"It's
Misao-san!" The women jumped up and hurried to Misao's room to find her
tossing around convulsively. Megumi immediately forced some herbs into Misao's
mouth, making the latter's movement stop. Kaoru wrapped another blanket around
Misao's shivering form and tears slipped from her eyes. "Misao-chan...
what happened in Kyoto?"
"Many things."
Everyone in the room jumped at
the female's voice and turned around to see a woman they had never seen before.
Her long black hair was matted with dirt and leaves, and her violet eyes
wearily looked about the room and widened in horror as they rested on Misao's
form. "Misao!"
The woman
rushed forward, but was blocked by Kenshin and Sano. Her eyes flashed angrily.
"What are you doing?! Move out of my way!"
Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly. "Who are you? What do you want with Misao-dono?"
Such cruelness. How could
something hurt her so much? No matter how much she tried to run away the images
plagued her, staying with her.
Her father's death. Aoshi leaving her. His betrayal. His rejection of her love. Her suicide attempt. Why was it so cold? So cold. Misao could feel the ice creeping over her heart, incasing it. Everywhere she looked, there was nothing but darkness or a painful memory. She saw someone step away from the shadows. "Aoshi-sama?"
Mei stood frozen in place
when the red headed man pulled out his sword, standing defensively in front of
Misao's unconscious figure.
"Who are you?" This time
the tall brown-headed man asked her.
"Daijobou!"
All heads turned to Yu, who
had just run in.
"Yu-kun?" Mei sighed in
relief.
"Daijobou. She's Misao-san's
friend from Kyoto!"
Mei nodded and spoke. "Mei
desu."
Kenshin sheathed his sword,
but his eyes didn't lose its doubt. "How can we be sure that you're not
here to hurt Misao-dono…. How do we know you're really her friend?"
"I don't know how else I
can prove to you that I'm her friend. I'm just really worried about her,
onegai can I see her? Onegai?"
Kenshin was about to protest
but stopped when Misao's voice cut through the air.
"ONEGAI! Don't leave me!
JIYA? MEI? MINNA!! ONEGAI!"
Mei rushed pass Kenshin who
let her pass after hearing Misao scream her name. Mei held Misao's trembling
figure in her arms. "Onegai…onegai… don't leave me … one…gai.."
"Daijobou, Misao. Daijobou.
I'm here. I won't leave you." Mei studied Misao closely.
How much she had changed in
the past six months! She was frailer and her skin was as pale as snow. Her arm
was covered in bandages, and she shivered despite the many blankets wrapped
around her. Mei brushed a strand of hair away from Misao's face. Misao…
come back to us…
"Aoshi-sama?" Misao was
startled when Aoshi emerged from the shadows. "What are you doing here? Where
are we? Aoshi-sama?"
Aoshi walked towards her
steadily, and Misao tried to move towards him, but found that something was
holding her back. Misao looked down at herself and found manacles holding her
still. The chains tore her skin making her bleed as she squirmed.
"Aoshi-sama?"
Aoshi had taken out his
kodachis and was holding them out before her, intent on killing her. Misao tried
to back away, but she seemed to be chained to Aoshi. He was now before her.
"Aoshi-sama! Stop! Onegai!"
He ignored her words and
looked her dead in the eyes. His eyes were so cold and they held a deadly gleam
as he plunged the kodachis into her. "I don't love you."
With each word he uttered,
Aoshi moved his weapons deeper into her, killing her and her heart. When finally
he moved away and withdrew his weapons, she found that she was still alive. And
yet, her heart was still bleeding… and she was still chained to him. No, she
wasn't dead. She was far past it… for she was living while dead. Her spirit
had died, but her body had continued to live… to live and feel more pain. She
saw her beloved family and friends and reached out to them, but they moved away
leaving her to be emerged into the darkness.
"ONEGAI! Don't leave me!
JIYA? MEI? MINNA!! ONEGAI!" Her silent cries were blown away by the winds
leaving nothing but a stir of echoes.
She wanted so badly to give
into the darkness, but she heard a healing voice call through the shadows,
beseeching her.
Misao…
come back to us…
Mei did not take her eyes
away from Misao's distraught face.
"Mei-san?"
Mei turned around and found
herself face to face with a lovely young woman. Her blue eyes were gentle.
"Hai?"
"Can you tell us what
happened in Kyoto?"
"Hai."
Everyone began to leave the
room and followed Kaoru to the porch just outside of Misao's room. After the
proper introductions were made, Mei began to tell her story.
Author's notes:
Boring? Maybe… I don't know. How did you like it? Send comments, ne? You will
won't you?
Preview (sorta):
"So Misao tried to kill
herself because Shinomori-san didn't love her?"
"Iie. That's not all.
She was suffering so much. She lost everything in the past two years. No one saw
her misery. She wouldn't talk to me about it… and I'm afraid that Misao will
never be the same again.
Sano punched his fist
angrily. "This is all Shinomori's fault. He didn't even care that she tried
to kill herself. The next time I see that fucking icicle, I'm going to pound his
face in for what he did to he-"
"IIE!"
Everyone turned back to see
Misao leaning heavily against the doorframe. "Iie." She repeated.
"It wasn't his fault. It was mine. It was my fault that I loved… that I
still love him so much."
