Deep Within By Jen

Deep Within
By Jen

Everywhere I go I see your face
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why are you haunting me
Why can't I let you go
Why are you haunting me?
-Haunting Me
Stabbing Westward

Chapter 6: Feverish Dreams: 'What happened in Kyoto?'

"Sa-kun?!" Okina hear Mei's voice and recognized the male figure. He watched as Mei spoke with Sa. What Ai's boy doing in Kyoto. Not unless-

"Urgent message from Tokyo!"

Misao?! Okina and the rest of the Oniwabanshuu ran out to where Mei and Sa were speaking. Sa noticed Okina and went up to him.

"Okina-san urgent message from okaasan! Misao-sama has arrived in Tokyo."

"She just arrived in Tokyo? Did she look alright?" Okina pressed Sa for more answers, but he shook her head. "I don't know. Okaasan said that she saw Misao fighting a gang of thugs that were trying to hurt Tae-san. She took care of them easily, but okaasan said that she was hurt by one of the gangster. One of them had managed to cut Misao with his knife."

Mei gasped, "What happened? Is Misao alright?"

"We're not sure yet."

"When did she arrive?"

"Four days ago. As soon as she arrived, okaasan sent me here with a message."

Mei stood up. "I'm going to Tokyo." She saw the looks on the other's faces and added. "Alone."

Yuri was incredulous, "Demo…we want to see Misao-san too."

Mei shook her head. "Iie. I doubt Misao is ready to see any of you. If you think about it. She said that she didn't want to come back to Kyoto ever again. I'm sure she just wants to forget everything that happened and move on. I'm going to visit her because I know she needs me. Out of all of us in this room, she probably wouldn't mind seeing me."

The Oniwabanshuu looked down, guilt clearly on their faces. Sa looked around. "Where's Aoshi-sama?"

"He's at the temple."

"Shouldn't we let him know about Misao."

"Hai. I'll go tell him." Yuri walked off, leaving them.

"When are you going to leave?" Okina asked Sa and Mei.

"Now."

"Nani?!"

"Misao might need me. I'm leaving now." Mei and Sa prepared for the journey and before night settled in they were on their way to Tokyo.


"How is she?"

Megumi shook her head. It had been more than a week since they had found Misao. Her condition hadn't improved over time, not they only seem to worsen. She would often cry out in her feverish manners, and Megumi wondered what dream could be hurting Misao so much.

"It depends on her will to live. If she doesn't want to live, then she doesn't have long."

"Can't we help her? Isn't there anything we could do to help her?"

"Iie. It's all up to Misao-chan now."

"Kami-sama please help her."


"Misao… Misao…"

Misao awoke to the sound of her name echoing through her ear. She blinked and found herself in complete and total darkness. She got up and blindly walked around.


"Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?"


Suddenly she found herself running fast towards a place, her heart racing. She had to get there… but where was she going? Her eyes widened when she saw her destination, and she tried with all her might to stop. But nothing could stop the past, and she found herself throwing a door open. She tried to look away, but to no avail. All she could see was Jiya falling to floor as if lifeless, blood spewing everywhere, and she saw Aoshi's cold figure walking past her, uttering those words that tore her heart apart as it had done that day two years ago. Misao tried to run after him and again the scene changed showing her another memory. She ran towards Aoshi and hugged him, smiling and welcoming him home. She tried to ignore the pain she felt when he snubbed her. "Aoshi-sama."

"Nande?"

Misao jumped as she realized the scene had changed again. She watched as the figure of herself say something to Aoshi, and running away with tears in his eyes at his response. Misao turned away remembering the words that had begun it all… the words that had destroyed her. 'I don't love you.'

Misao turned away from Aoshi's impassive figure, not wanting to see his face after that confrontation. But if she had continued looking at him, she would have seen the single tear that had suddenly came from his eyes, dropping silently onto the wooden temple floor. If she had continued to look at him, she would have seen the anguish on his face, but she didn't. She had turned away to avoid the pain of that memory.


"How much further to Tokyo?" Mei asked Sa as they continued to travel quickly.

"We should be there tomorrow afternoon." Sa glanced at his companion and saw her face determination mixed with distress. "Daijobou ka? We should take a break."

"Iie. I'm fine. I just want to get to Tokyo. Misao needs me. I'm the only one who can understand her right now."


Misao was once again plunged into the darkness; the scene before her changed and she heard voices. "Are you sure about this?"

"Hai. We're going to get married, ne?"

"Aa."

"Then it's fine. Aishiteru, Aoshi."

"Aa. Aishiteru."

Misao's eyes widened and she gasped in horror. She huddled closer into the closet, and covered her ears from the less desirable sounds coming from the other side of the closet. When she took her hand away from her ears, she heard herself knocking on Yuri's door and the conversation that seemed to decide her fate. She saw herself running away from the scene and towards Mei's clinic. Misao wondered why she could not see herself anymore, but then heard Aoshi and Yuri's conversation. The conversation they had after she ran off.

"Anata, did you notice something different about Misao-san?"

"…" Misao found herself in Yuri's place during the conversation.

"She seems so distant and ill lately. Perhaps you should talk to her."

"Iie. That's not necessary. Misao is just going through adjustments right now."

"What sort of adjustments?"

"Us."

"Nani?"

"Misao had this childish infatuation with me, and it seems that she believed that she really loved me."

"… that poor girl."

Misao suddenly felt herself grow cold. Was that all it was…is? A childish crush? It can't be… for if it was, then she wouldn't feel all the pain she was feeling now. A childish crush? No, it couldn't be…


"Megumi-sensei!" Yu called out frantically and ran out of the room in search of Megumi. "Megumi-sensei! Hayaku!"

He found Megumi with Kaoru in the dining room having tea. The women looked up when he burst through the door. "Yu-kun? Daijobou?"

"It's Misao-san!" The women jumped up and hurried to Misao's room to find her tossing around convulsively. Megumi immediately forced some herbs into Misao's mouth, making the latter's movement stop. Kaoru wrapped another blanket around Misao's shivering form and tears slipped from her eyes. "Misao-chan... what happened in Kyoto?"

"Many things."

Everyone in the room jumped at the female's voice and turned around to see a woman they had never seen before. Her long black hair was matted with dirt and leaves, and her violet eyes wearily looked about the room and widened in horror as they rested on Misao's form. "Misao!"

The woman rushed forward, but was blocked by Kenshin and Sano. Her eyes flashed angrily. "What are you doing?! Move out of my way!"

Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly. "Who are you? What do you want with Misao-dono?"


Such cruelness. How could something hurt her so much? No matter how much she tried to run away the images plagued her, staying with her.

Her father's death. Aoshi leaving her. His betrayal. His rejection of her love. Her suicide attempt. Why was it so cold? So cold. Misao could feel the ice creeping over her heart, incasing it. Everywhere she looked, there was nothing but darkness or a painful memory. She saw someone step away from the shadows. "Aoshi-sama?"


Mei stood frozen in place when the red headed man pulled out his sword, standing defensively in front of Misao's unconscious figure.

"Who are you?" This time the tall brown-headed man asked her.

"Daijobou!"

All heads turned to Yu, who had just run in.

"Yu-kun?" Mei sighed in relief.

"Daijobou. She's Misao-san's friend from Kyoto!"

Mei nodded and spoke. "Mei desu."

Kenshin sheathed his sword, but his eyes didn't lose its doubt. "How can we be sure that you're not here to hurt Misao-dono…. How do we know you're really her friend?"

"I don't know how else I can prove to you that I'm her friend. I'm just really worried about her, onegai can I see her? Onegai?"

Kenshin was about to protest but stopped when Misao's voice cut through the air.

"ONEGAI! Don't leave me! JIYA? MEI? MINNA!! ONEGAI!"

Mei rushed pass Kenshin who let her pass after hearing Misao scream her name. Mei held Misao's trembling figure in her arms. "Onegai…onegai… don't leave me … one…gai.."

"Daijobou, Misao. Daijobou. I'm here. I won't leave you." Mei studied Misao closely.

How much she had changed in the past six months! She was frailer and her skin was as pale as snow. Her arm was covered in bandages, and she shivered despite the many blankets wrapped around her. Mei brushed a strand of hair away from Misao's face. Misao… come back to us…


"Aoshi-sama?" Misao was startled when Aoshi emerged from the shadows. "What are you doing here? Where are we? Aoshi-sama?"

Aoshi walked towards her steadily, and Misao tried to move towards him, but found that something was holding her back. Misao looked down at herself and found manacles holding her still. The chains tore her skin making her bleed as she squirmed. "Aoshi-sama?"

Aoshi had taken out his kodachis and was holding them out before her, intent on killing her. Misao tried to back away, but she seemed to be chained to Aoshi. He was now before her. "Aoshi-sama! Stop! Onegai!"

He ignored her words and looked her dead in the eyes. His eyes were so cold and they held a deadly gleam as he plunged the kodachis into her. "I don't love you."

With each word he uttered, Aoshi moved his weapons deeper into her, killing her and her heart. When finally he moved away and withdrew his weapons, she found that she was still alive. And yet, her heart was still bleeding… and she was still chained to him. No, she wasn't dead. She was far past it… for she was living while dead. Her spirit had died, but her body had continued to live… to live and feel more pain. She saw her beloved family and friends and reached out to them, but they moved away leaving her to be emerged into the darkness.

"ONEGAI! Don't leave me! JIYA? MEI? MINNA!! ONEGAI!" Her silent cries were blown away by the winds leaving nothing but a stir of echoes.

She wanted so badly to give into the darkness, but she heard a healing voice call through the shadows, beseeching her.

Misao… come back to us…


Mei did not take her eyes away from Misao's distraught face.

"Mei-san?"

Mei turned around and found herself face to face with a lovely young woman. Her blue eyes were gentle.

"Hai?"

"Can you tell us what happened in Kyoto?"

"Hai."

Everyone began to leave the room and followed Kaoru to the porch just outside of Misao's room. After the proper introductions were made, Mei began to tell her story.


Author's notes: Boring? Maybe… I don't know. How did you like it? Send comments, ne? You will won't you?

Preview (sorta):

"So Misao tried to kill herself because Shinomori-san didn't love her?"

"Iie. That's not all. She was suffering so much. She lost everything in the past two years. No one saw her misery. She wouldn't talk to me about it… and I'm afraid that Misao will never be the same again.

Sano punched his fist angrily. "This is all Shinomori's fault. He didn't even care that she tried to kill herself. The next time I see that fucking icicle, I'm going to pound his face in for what he did to he-"

"IIE!"

Everyone turned back to see Misao leaning heavily against the doorframe. "Iie." She repeated. "It wasn't his fault. It was mine. It was my fault that I loved… that I still love him so much."