Deep Within
By Jen
You
say you've been hurt
Well you're not alone
As you race through this life
What you keep to yourself
Can turn you to stone
All it would take is one kind word
To be heard
Come on and give a little bit
Try to forgive a little bit
-Show Some Emotion Celine Dion
Chapter
8- Escaping Emotions: 'She's beginning to become like you Aoshi-san.'
Mei bowed in greeting.
"Konnichiwa Omasu-san. How is every-"
She didn't have time to
finish her sentence before Omasu and Okon caught her in a hug. "Minna…"
By then Okina, Shiro, and
Kuro were there too.
"Welcome back Mei."
"Arigatou. Demo… I'm not going to be staying long. I bring word from the Himuras and our
other friends in Tokyo."
"They are well I hope?"
Okon asked.
"Hai. Everyone is doing
fine. Asuko is growing up beautifully. Yahiko-kun and Yu-kun are learning new
fighting methods, Megumi-sensei and Sanosuke seem to be getting closer,
Kaoru-san and Himura-san are busy taking care of Asuko and running the
dojo…" Mei watched them for a minute. She could see that they wanted to know
of Misao… that the information she had just given them were not as important,
but she knew that they wouldn't ask. They would wait until she spoke of Misao
and then ask their questions. Instead, Okina asked another question.
"Who's Yu-kun?"
"He is Sanosuke and
Misao's student. Well minna, I have to go down to the clinic and gather some
of my belongings. I'll be back for dinner. " That was all she said and she
smiled before she left. She left the Oniwabanshuu in their state of confusion.
"Did she just say the
Yu-kun was Sanosuke and…" Omasu didn't finish her sentence, but Shiro did
it for her.
"Sanosuke and Misao's
student?"
"Aa. She did."
The information left them
confused. Misao was teaching someone the ways of an Oniwabanshuu? Why would she
do that?
For
once Aoshi wasn't meditating instead he had decided to take a walk to get away
from reality. His mind shifted to the events in the past few months… the
months since they received word that Misao had arrived in Tokyo. When Yuri had
told him the news, his heart was suddenly soothed and the turmoil was erased
from it. He had heard that Mei was going to stay with Misao in Tokyo, but she
had come back for a visit and to gather some of her belongings. She hadn't
spoke of Misao, refusing to answer any of their questions. The only thing she
would say about Misao was that she was doing fine. That was it. It was enough to
drive the others mad. He headed off the trail and turned his attention up into
the trees where he saw Mei watching him.
"Mei-san?" She nodded in
greeting and jumped down from the branches and landed on the ground softly next
to him.
"Aoshi-san, Ohayo."
"Nande?"
"I wanted to tell you
before I told the others…" Mei began and paused.
"Tell me what?"
"Misao has decided to
permanently live in Tokyo, and she says that she will never come back to
Kyoto." Mei finished quickly and looked at him, studying him for any reaction.
"She is living with the
Battosai and that ex-gangster. She's completely protected…"
"HIMURA-SAN has a wife and
child to protect. Sanosuke has to look after Megumi-sensei and Kaoru-san. Misao
only has herself… and… considering her will to live, that isn't much
protection."
"She is living with the
Battosai and that ex-gangster. She's completely protected…"
"HIMURA-SAN has a wife and
child to protect. Sanosuke has to look after Megumi-sensei and Kaoru-san. Misao
only has herself… and… considering her will to live, that isn't much
protection."
"Her will to live?" Aoshi
raised a questioning eyebrow. Mei glanced away from him into the distance.
"Misao… she's… her ki
still isn't strong… she doesn't have the will to live. For the first few
weeks during her recovery from her illness, all she did was walk around, staring
into the distance as if she was waiting for someone to come for her… and her
eyes… they're so hard… unfeeling…"
Aoshi didn't know what to
say. Mei's words didn't seem to sink in quickly, and said nothing in
response, so Mei continued trying to reason with him.
"…her eyes show no
emotions…she's lifeless… and she's become so cold."
"…"
Mei was angered even more
when Aoshi showed no emotions. "Have you nothing to say?"
"… it is better for her
to stay in Tokyo…" Where I can't
hurt her. Aoshi finished his thought in his mind.
"She needs you! Can't you
see that yet?! After so long, are you still so blind as not to see how you
really love her?! That perhaps… no… I know that you love her as much as she
does you! Why can't you realize that? Why?! Misao isn't herself anymore. I
don't know what she's become…"
Mei's eyes began to well up
in tears that she had kept in the last several emotion racking months. Aoshi
immediately wrapped his arms around her, offering his shoulder. Mei cried from
all the pain of the last months, she cried for Aoshi, she cried for Misao, but
most of all, she cried for the love that Aoshi had refused to give Misao, I
can't help her. No one can… only him…and he doesn't even care…
"Gomen nasai. I got your
shirt wet. I'm going back to Tokyo today. Sayonara, Aoshi-san."
Mei began to walk off, but
before she did, she turned around for the last time to face Aoshi.
"She's beginning to
become like you Aoshi-san…" And she walked off.
"Sayonara minna. I'll
come back for a visit in a few months." Mei waved before she left with Sa who
had come to accompany her home.
"Sayonara Mei-san!"
"Sayonara Mei!"
"Sayonara Mei-chan!"
They watched Mei walked
further and further away until she disappeared from view.
Aoshi did not see Mei off
with the others, instead he had spent his time in his room, trying to meditate.
But every time he tried to clear his mind, Mei's voice would fill his head.
"Misao has decided to
permanently live in Tokyo, and she says that she will never come back to
Kyoto."
It is better for her to stay
there…
"Misao… she's…
her ki still isn't strong… she doesn't have the will to live. For the
first few weeks during her recovery from her illness, all she did was walk
around, staring into the distance as if she was waiting for someone to come for
her… and her eyes… they're so hard… unfeeling…"
Then
why did his heart tell him differently?
"She's beginning to
become like you Aoshi-san."
Was
she really becoming like him? Impossible. She couldn't possibly know what it
was like to succumb to the darkness. Impossible when she was light… light does
not give into darkness.
"…her eyes show no
emotions…she's lifeless… and she's become so cold."
But
the light had died in her not so long ago, almost a year. He had seen that much
when she had tried to kill herself. It was because of him. He, the darkness had
broken her, the wonderful light that shone for all.
"She needs you!
Can't you see that yet?! After so long, are you still so blind as not to see
how you really love her?! That perhaps… no… I know that you love her as much
as she does you! Why can't you realize that? Why?! Misao isn't herself
anymore. I don't know what she's become…"
Misao… why am I
feeling the way I do now? Why is my heart yearning for you? Could it possibly…
could Mei have been right? Aoshi shook his
head. It couldn't be…
Confusion was something Shinomori Aoshi was not used to feeling, but ever since he had came back to the Aoiya, that was all he was feeling.
"Aoshi?"
"What
is it Yuri?" Aoshi sighed as she wrapped her arms around him.
"Okina-sama
sent a letter to Tokyo. We may get to see Misao-san soon."
Misao?
Yes, he needed to see Misao right now. But why? Why did he need to see her so
bad? He loved Yuri. He was engaged to Yuri... but his the deepest part of his
heart yearned to see Misao. Why? He had Yuri... could his heart be trying to
tell him something? What was this urgent feeling to see her? Misao... his
Misao-chan. The little girl who followed him everywhere. The young woman who had
become his friend in a way. The young ninja whose heart he had broken so many
times. The need to see her was becoming so great... why?
Author's
Notes: Gomen
nasai for rushing this fic through the months, but if I take my time, this fic
might become more than fifty chapters don't want that to happen. What
did you think? Loved it? Hated it? Send comments and suggestions, ne?
