pcenteri
This Romeo is bleeding/br
But you can't see his blood/br
It's nothing but some feelings/br
That this old dog kicked up /br
/br
It's been raining since you left me/br
Now I'm drowning in the flood/br
You see I've always been a fighter/br
But without you I give up/br
Now I can't sing a love song/br
Like the way it's meant to be/br
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore/br
But baby, that's just me /br
/br
And I will love you, baby - Always/br
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always/br
I'll be there till the stars don't shine/br
Till the heavens burst and/br
The words don't rhyme/br
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind/br
And I'll love you - Always /br
/br
Now your pictures that you left behind/br
Are just memories of a different life/br
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry/br
One that made you have to say good-bye/br
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair/br
To touch your lips, to hold you near/br
When you say your prayers try to understand/br
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man /br
/br
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near/br
When he says the words you've been needing to hear/br
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine/br
To say to you till the end of time /br
/br
Yeah, I will love you baby - Always/br
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always /br
/br
If you told me to cry for you/br
I could/br
If you told me to die for you/br
I would/br
Take a look at my face/br
There's no price I won't pay/br
To say these words to you/br
Well, there ain't no luck/br
In these loaded dice/br
But baby if you give me just one more try/br
We can pack up our old dreams/br
And our old lives/br
We'll find a place where the sun still shines /br
/br
And I will love you, baby - Always/br
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always/br
I'll be there till the stars don't shine/br
Till the heavens burst and/br
The words don't rhyme/br
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind/br
And I'll love you - Always/br
~Always/br
~Bon Jovi/i/center

pPacey drove to Joey's house. He kept casting sideways glances at her
as he drove. Her sleeping form was curled up in the seat with his jacket
wrapped around her arms. Jen was sleeping against Nick's chest, and he
was looking out at the darkness that surrounded Capeside.

pHe pulled up to her house and cut the engine on the car. Nick tried to
wake Jen to no avail. He moved her over to his side of the car and
scooped her small body into his arms. Pacey pulled Joey's keys out of her
purse and unlocked the door for Nick. Pacey went back to the car and
attempted to wake Joey. He got a few mumblings out of her, but she didn't
wake up.

pHe sighed and watched as Nick adjusted Jen's weight and walked into
the house. Pacey moved around to the other side of his car and opened
her door. He gently shook her, getting nothing.

p"Joey. Wake up."

pAgain, nothing.

pHe took his jacket off her body and threw it onto his seat. He turned
her gently, put one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and
lifted her into his arms. She turned her body towards him in response,
wrapping her arms around his neck, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

pHe carried her into her house then up her stairs. He pushed her
bedroom door open with his foot, then turned the light switch on with his
elbow. He walked over to her bed, stepping over a number of dresses that
scattered the floor. He gently put her down on her bed, laying her head
back in the pillows. He removed her shoes then pulled the covers up
around her body.

pJoey softly moaned in her sleep, then turned away from him. He stood
and looked down at her, taking the sight in. Trying to understand what he
was feeling for her. Every time he was around her now he was more
confused than he's ever been in his life. She made him feel things that he
didn't think he was ever supposed to feel again. She made him happy, she
made him laugh, she made him feel things he hadn't felt since Veronica
died.

pHe stared down at her, her soft hair falling in her face, her long
eyelashes resting against the paleness of her skin. Her soft lips parted, her
small hands resting on her pillow. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful.
The only thing he wanted was to kiss her. But he couldn't. His heart was
still broken in pieces, and kissing Joey would be the wrong thing at the
wrong time.

pHe turned and walked out of her room, looking back one last time, then
turned off the light and shut her door. He stood their, taking deep breaths.
He wasn't aware that he had that sort of control over himself, but he was
happy to know that he did. He walked down the stairs and out the front
door. Nick had the back door of the car open, obviously looking for
something.

p"What did you lose?"

p"Not me. Jen. She lost her purse...and I found it." He pulls out of the
car and looks at Pacey. "You okay?"

p"Not really. But I will be. Just been thinking about some stuff..."

p"I know how that can be. Confused?"

p"Very."

p"Been there."

p"Got any advise?"

p"Follow your heart. I know that's cliched, but it's the best advise I can
give you."

p"Does it work? Following your heart?"

p"If you didn't, do you think you would have married your wife and had
your daughter. Look, sometimes it may not make any sense what you're
feeling, and other times it may be too clear that you need to analyze it and
make it not make sense, but most of the time, if you just go with what your
heart is telling you, you can't go wrong."

p"See, that's the thing, I'm not sure what's wrong or right anymore."

p"Let me take a guess at what's bothering you. You are starting to get
some sort of feelings for one Josephine Potter. And while you are torn
between the memory of your wife and loyalty towards her you can't help but
feel something for Joey."

p"You're good."

p"I'm a shrink. I should be."

p"So, follow my heart. That's all you can tell me to do?"

p"Yeah."

p"Well, thanks. But right now, I don't think my heart is up for much of
anything."

p"I have a feeling, that within time, it will be."

p"Thanks."

p"I have a drunk wife to get in there to. See ya."

p"Bye Nick."

pNick walked back into the house, and Pacey was left standing in the
driveway, staring up at the window for Joey's room. iFollow my heart.
But what is it that my heart is feeling?/i

pHe climbed into his car and drove home to an empty house. He walked
in and tossed his jacket on the couch, and walked up the stairs to his
bedroom. He tossed his clothes onto the floor then walked into his
bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and put his head in his hands.
He wiped his face and looked out at the bedroom. It was so empty. His
house was empty. He was alone and there was nothing he could do about
it.

pHe sighed, stood and brushed his teeth. He walked back into the bed
room and sat on the edge on the bed, not ready to go to sleep. He wished
that Joey was sober and awake. He needed to talk to someone right now,
and there was no one.

pHe laid back in bed, folding his arms under his head and stared at the
ceiling. He could feel her soft body still pressed against his, he could still
smell her scent, feel the softness of her skin as his hands wandered over
her back. He could still feel the intensity of her eyes. But it wasn't
Veronica. It was Joey. The memory of their dance was still fresh on his
mind. She was making him crazy. He would almost swear that the look in
her eyes was one of desire. Did she desire him? Did she want to be with
him?

pHe closed his eyes, trying to see his wife's face. Trying to remember
what it was like to hold her. Trying to remember the way it felt to make
love to her. But he couldn't see her, all he could see was Joey. Why did
she have to get under his skin? Why was it that whenever he saw her,
reason flew out of the window?

pHe finally started drifting off to sleep, seeing nothing but Joey. He
decided not to fight what he was seeing. Joey was in the red bikini and
wrap that she had. She was walking over to him, where he laid on the sand
of the beach.

pShe sat next to him, then smiled. She then leaned over, kissing him
the way he'd wanted to kiss her tonight. He ran his hands through the dark
strands of her hair, moving one hand down her back, feeling the softness of
her skin under his hand.

pShe pulled away only to climb on top of him, then moved back to his
mouth, kissing him again. Her hands moved down his chest touching his
body. He sighed as she moved her kisses to his neck. He moved his
hands down to her behind, finding her naked. He opened his eyes and
looked around. It was her bedroom, and they were both naked, kissing
under the sheets.

pAs he pulled his mouth away from her to breathe, he looked over at the
door, seeing his wife, wide-eyed, stunned. He quickly pulled away from
Joey as tears streamed down Veronica's face.

p"YOU LIED, PACEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULD ONLY LOVE ME!" she
screamed.

p"Ronnie...I'm sorry."

p"YOU NEVER LOVED ME!"

p"I did...I do love you."

pShe sank into the floor and cried, "You said you would love me forever.
You said I was the only woman you would ever love. The only woman you
would ever make love to for the rest of your life."

p"I'm sorry, Ronnie," he said as tears streamed down his own face.

p"You lied to me, Pacey."

pHe went to her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her, but she
disappeared when he reached for her. He turned back to the bed to see
Joey sleeping the way she was that night. He looked back to the spot
where his wife had been, nothing.

pPacey sat up in bed, covered in sweat. His head was pounding, his
heart was racing. His body had reacted to the thought of making love to
Joey, and he quickly got out of bed and went to his bathroom. He turned
the cold water on and stripped out of his boxers. He stepped under the
cold stream, feeling the coldness of the water hit his body like needles. He
managed to get himself under control, then turned the hot water on.

pThe thought of her crying, hurting because of him only made him ache
more. The tears streamed down his face, thinking about the loss he was
still suffering through. He just wanted it to all end. He wanted answers for
why he lost her in the first place. He wanted to know why he was feeling
what he was feeling for Joey. He wanted to know if there would ever be a
point in his life where he wouldn't constantly hurt from wanting her back.

phr

pThe shrill ringing of the phone woke Joey up. Her head was pounding
like it hadn't in years. She rolled over and picked up the phone.

p"h...h'lo?"

p"Joey?"

p"Pacey?"

p"Yeah. I need to talk to someone, and I know you're hung over and
all..."

p"No..no...it's, it's okay. So what's wrong?"

p"I had a really bad dream."

p"Do you want me to check your closet for monsters?" she said with a
slight smile.

p"You know what...I'll call back later..." he said irritated.

p"I was kidding. I'm listening."

p"I dreamed...well, I dreamed that I was making love to this...woman.
And the next thing I know, Veronica is standing in the door screaming that I
never loved her. That I lied to her..." his voice cracked with emotion.

p"God, I'm so sorry, Pacey. I know that there are no words to say to
make that not hurt."

p"It's literally killing me Joey."

p"What time is it?"

p"9:30."

p"Why don't you come over for breakfast and we can talk."

p"Okay."

p"See you in a few. Oh, and Pacey..."

p"Yeah?"

p"How did I get in my bed?"

pHe laughed, "Bye Joey."

pHe hung up. She smiled as he hung up. She slowly climbed out of bed
and went into her bathroom. She stripped out of her dress, washed off her
make up, took out her ear rings, then pulled her hair up in a messy bun.
She went into her bedroom and pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a gray
tank shirt. She padded out into the hallway and down the stairs. She
looked into the kitchen to find Nick sitting at her kitchen table drinking
coffee and reading her news paper.

p"Well, morning Jo."

p"Morning Nick. Nice to see you've made yourself at home."

p"Well, I didn't think you would be up for another hour or two. And I
wasn't waiting that long for coffee."

p"I'm just messing with you." Walks to her coffee pot with her mug. "So,
Jen is still asleep?"

p"Yep. And my guess is that she will be for a while."

p"Pacey's coming over."

p"Was that who was on the phone?"

p"Yeah."

p"I was going to answer it, but I figured that when the phone stopped
ringing you answered it."

p"Yeah." She walks to the table and sits next to him. "So, did you or
Pacey carry me to my room?"

p"He did. I had my hands full with Jen." He looked over the paper at
her. "You like him don't you?"

p"What are you talking about?"

p"You like Pacey."

pJoey scoffed, "You are way off."

p"Okay, you love Pacey."

pShe sighed, "Have you been talking to your wife?"

p"Yeah. Can you tell?"

p"She has a big mouth."

p"Yes she does. But I tell her everything too, so..."

p"It's good that the two of you have that kind of closeness."

p"Yes it is. But don't try to change the subject."

p"I'm not. So, I'm in love with Pacey. Big deal."

p"To you it is."

p"Yes to me it is...I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I always
fall for the wrong guy?"

p"No one's saying that he's the wrong guy for you. It's just bad timing."

p"No kidding. I mean, I fall in love with a guy who's not over his wife."

p"How long has it been since she died?"

p"About seven months I think."

p"Give him time, Jo."

p"I'm trying Nick." The knock at the door made Joey groan. "Remind me
to take some Tylenol when I come back into the kitchen."

pJoey stood and walked into the living room and opened the door. She
smiled up at him as she leaned against the door. She squinted against the
bright sun. She moved to the side and he walked into the house. She
closed the door. Pacey followed her into the kitchen and he greeted Nick
who was placing his mug in the sink and walking out of the kitchen.

p"Coffee?" Joey asked.

p"Sure, let me get it." He moved to the cabinet with the mugs and pulled
out two as Joey sat at the table and laid her head on her folded arms.
Pacey opened the cabinet over the sink and took the bottle of Tylenol. He
poured the coffee. He then moved to the table and set the medication and
coffee in front of her.

pShe sat up and poured sugar into the cup. She stirred her coffee, and
then looked over at Pacey. She took a deep breath, wanting nothing but to
ease the hurt he must be feeling.

p"So, tell me about this dream," she said softly as she opened the bottle
of pills.

p"Well, like I said, I dreamed I was with this other woman and Ronnie
was standing there, screaming at me that I didn't love her."

pShe took the pills, then turned back to look at him, "Do you know the
woman or is it just a fantasy type deal?"

p"Does it matter?"

p"Yeah. If it's someone you know, and may possibly be attracted to,
then it could be your sub-conscious telling you that you shouldn't be feeling
what you are feeling."

p"And if it's a fantasy woman?"

p"Then it's just your hormones and them playing a trick on you. So
which one was it?"

pPacey took a sip of his coffee, then looked over at her curious eyes.
"Uh...fantasy."

pJoey's heart fell into the pit of her stomach. Why did she get her hopes
up about it possibly being her? Was she that crazy? She took another sip
of her coffee.

p"Was it good?"

pHe looked at her shocked, "What?"

p"The dream...up until the point of your wife...were you enjoying the it?"

pPacey laughed nervously, "I feel a little uncomfortable telling you about
sexual fantasies."

p"Hey...you were talking about the dream, I just happened to ask a
question about it."

p"You tell me about one of yours and I will tell you about the one I had."

pJoey shook her head. "No way am I telling you."

p"Then neither am I."

p"It's too early and my head hurts too badly to argue with you."

p"That's what you get for drinking a bottle of champagne by yourself."

p"Jen helped."

pHe shook his head. "Nope, I believe that you and Jen had a bottle
each, while Nick and I were lucky if we got a glass out of either."

p"Well why don't you just bitch about it."

P"I'm not. I'm just stating the facts so you can get your story straight."

pShe shrugged, "So, Jen and I were drunk...but that always happens
when she comes to town. It's like I become an alcoholic when she's here,"
she said laughing.

p"That's not good."

p"I'm exaggerating."

p"I know."

pShe smiled, "Most of the time, it's Nick carrying the both of us into the
house while we are passed out."

p"A lot of men would try to take advantage of that situation."

p"Thank God Nick is not a lot of men. You too for that matter. Thank
you for carrying me in last night."

p"Welcome."

pJoey heard feet pad across the hardwood floors of her living room and
turned to see Jen in a pair of pajama pants and a black sports bra. She
moved right to the coffee cups, took one, filled it, then joined Pacey and
Joey at the table.

p"Morning, Jenny," Pacey said with a smile. "Did you enjoy your bottle
of champagne?"

p"I'll tell you when my headache goes away." She looked at the two of
them, then specifically at Joey, "So, what are the two of you talking about?"

pPacey smirked, "Sexual fantasies."

pJen raised her eyebrows. "Really?" she looked at Joey who was
staring at her hands. "And has Joey filled you in on any of hers?"

p"No, but seeing as how you are her best friend, maybe you would share
with me."

p"And why do you want to know, Pacey?" Jen said with a smile.

p"So I can tease her."

pJen took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, she tilted her head and
looked at him seriously, "No."

p"Come on, Jenny. Share with me..."

p"Jen you do and I tell Nick what you did at a frat house," Joey said,
glaring in Jen's direction.

p"Sorry, Pacey. Can't tell you."

p"What could you have possibly done in a frat house?"

pJen smirked, "It involved whip cream, a girl and my toes."

pPacey's eyes went wide, "Did you let a girl eat whip cream off your
toes?"

p"That's not all she did."

pShe threw a napkin at Joey but smiled, "Shut up. And since you can't
keep your mouth closed...Joey likes water."

p"You bitch!"

p"Love you too." Jen stood and put her empty mug into the sink. "Nick
and I are going to the beach. You guys are welcome to join us."

p"I'll go...but I need to find my sunglasses," Joey said, still trying to
contain the redness of her cheeks.

p"Count me in too. Without Sam here, I feel kind of lost."

p"Well...I need to go unpack my suit," Jen said as she walked out of the
kitchen.

pPacey turned to Joey and smiled, "You have a thing for water, huh?"

p"I hate her."

p"I won't tease you, I swear."

pShe shook her head. She couldn't believe she was about to tell Pacey
about one of her fantasies, "I just always thought it would be nice to be in
like a hot tub, or a pool or something and kiss, not necessarily have sex,
but just the being close part."

p"Doesn't sound bad to me," he said with a smile.

p"Really?"

p"Really."

pShe took a deep breath, trying very hard to steady her breathing. She
looked up and saw his smile, and returned it. She stood up from the chair
she was sitting in and looked around her spotless kitchen. "Okay, I also
need to get ready for the beach."

pHe stood also, staring down at her. The thought of seeing Joey in one
of her many revealing bikinis was something he was greatly looking
forward to.

pHe walked to the door and she followed. He opened it, then turned
back to her, "So what time do I need to be back here?"

p"How's fifteen minutes?" He nodded then walked off her front porch.
She closed the door and ran up the stairs to her bed room. She went
through every suit she owned and finally settled on the red one that she'd
worn before and received such an appreciative look for. She pulled on a
pair of her too short cut offs and a white tee shirt. She checked herself in
the mirror, taking a deep breath. She was going through all of this trouble
for a guy who didn't really notice that she was a woman. Her life was
pathetic.

pShe let her hair down and ran her hair brush through it, then pulled it up
into a pony tail. The knock on her bedroom door surprised her and she
walked to answer it.

pJen stood in front of her, smiling, "So, going to the beach with Pacey?"

p"And you and Nick."

p"I notice how he just seemed so willing to go after you said you were."

p"He's lonely without his daughter, don't read to much into this and
cause me to do the same."

pJen sighed and moved into her room and sat on her bed. She looked
at the clutter of bathing suits scattered over the floor, then up at Joey,
"Have a hard time deciding what to wear?"

pJoey sighed and took a seat next to Jen, then laid back, staring at the
ceiling, "Please tell me I'm not crazy."

p"You're not crazy."

pJoey turned to look at her, "Okay, now, tell me what you really think."

pJen looked down at her friend, feeling badly for her, "I think that it's
good that you found someone that you can love."

p"But bad that he doesn't love me."

p"You don't know that."

p"Jen, weren't you the one that told me that I should prepare myself for
the possibility of it never happening between the two of us? I mean, that
was you right, because I would hate to know that I mixed you up with
someone else."

p"Yes, I did tell you that," she said smirking, "but given that I had no idea
that Pacey looked at you the way he did, I was in no position to judge the
situation."

p"Look at me how?" Joey asked inquisitive.

pJen shook her head, "Never mind."

p"No! No you said something...fess up."

pJen tilted her head when she started speaking, "Well, he may have
been looking at you like he...."

p"He what?"

p"He wanted you."

pJoey sat up and looked over at her friend, "Like he wanted me?" she
asked skeptically, "Like he wanted me? Well, I guess I should be happy
with that, but I'm not. Because no matter how much he wants me, he
doesn't ilove/i me Jen. And that's what I want."

pJen sighed, "I know. But at least it's a start. He wants you. Who
knows what else he thinks."

p"I don't want to know what he thinks, I want to know how he feels."

pJen smirked, "I can't help you there. I wish I could, but sorry."

p"I know. He should be here in a few minutes."

pJen nodded and walked over to the mirror that hung above Joey's
dresser. She brushed one of the curls away from her face then turned back
to Joey. She looked over at Joey who was still sitting on the bed, looking
solemnly at the floor, "Everything will work out, Joey. Just have a little
faith."

p"This from the girl who doesn't believe in God," she said in a huff.

pJen merely smiled and ignored the snippy comment sent in her
direction. Nick peeked his head into Joey's room, "Is it safe to enter?"

p"Sure, come in Nick," Joey said with a smile.

pNick smiled at Joey then walked to his wife. He wrapped his arms
around her waist and they turned to look at Joey. "Nick, will you please tell
Joey that everything will work out?" Jen said, pressing her back into his
chest.

pHe smiled, "Jen's right, everything's going to be okay."

p"How can you be so sure?"

p"What, with two pessimists in this room....I have to remain the
optimistic one."

p"I'm not a pessimist. I'm...bitter."

pJen looked up at Nick's smiling face, "Same thing isn't it?"

pThe doorbell broke them out of their conversation. Jen and Nick left
the room and Joey slipped on her sandals and followed. She let out a
deep sigh as she walked down the stairs. Waiting for Pacey to come
around was going to take all the patience she had. She knew that for sure.
But was there actually a possibility that he could somehow feel the same
way about her? She walked to the edge of the stairs, listening to him talk
to Jen and Nick.

pThe sound of his voice made her ache for him. Tears sprang to her
eyes, thinking about what it would be like to spend the rest of her life loving
and wanting a person who would never feel the same way about her. It was
just too much to take. But she knew she had to. She put on a brave face,
then walked down the stairs to her best friend, her husband, and the man
she loved.

pcenter
TO BE CONTINUED
/center