Deep Within

Deep Within
By Jen

People never tell you
How really true you feel
I would die for you gladly
If I knew what loss for me
So if all this talk sounds crazy
And the words don't come out right
Doesn't really matter
If it gets me through this night

-I Will Love Again Lara Fabian

Chapter 9- Signs of Healing: 'Her wounds are finally beginning to heal'

"Mei?" Mei looked up from her luggage. "Hai, Misao?"

"Where are you going?" Misao walked over to her and began to help Mei pack her bags.

"…" Mei contemplated on telling Misao where she was going.

"Mei?"

"Kyoto." Mei looked at Misao closely, to see any signs of emotions. She saw a flash of pain before Misao's eyes became indifferent again.

"Kyoto…?"

"Hai. To get some things."

"Nani? Why?"

"I'm moving to Tokyo."

"Nani?! Why?"

"Misao…"

"It's because of me, ne? Mei, I don't want you to leave Kyoto just because of me. You have a life there. Don't leave because of me."

"Daijobou, Misao. Daijobou. I'm moving here because I want to. Plus, Megumi-sensei would become a good mentor in my medical studies."

"Mei…"

"I've made up my mind Misao-chan. You know just as well as I do that you and me are two most stubborn people on earth."

Misao's lips twitched slightly, but she kept her stoic expression. Mei inwardly sighed. She was going to have to talk to Aoshi.


"Good. Now try it again this time relax your posture a little… yes like that. Try it again. Yes! That's good. Do that ten more times."

Mei watched as Misao taught Yu a new kick. Three months passed by and Misao still had not changed. Still her emotionless self, but Mei could see Yu's admiration of his mentor.

"Mei?"

"Misao. I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave. I'll be back in two weeks."

"Alright. Sayonara Mei."

Yu who had finished his exercises came over to Mei to wish her farewell. "Sayonara Mei-sensei."

Mei smiled at the boy. "Goodbye Yu-kun."

She hugged Misao and wished the others goodbye before she left with Sa to travel to Kyoto.


"Misao-senpai?" Misao looked up at Yu's hesitant voice. "Yu-kun?"

"…ano… can you help me with that combo you showed me yesterday? I'm having trouble with it…"

"Hai, show me." Misao put down her journal and watched Yu perform the combo. She stopped him after a while.

"Instead of using the same hand right here, try to punch with the other one until you get used to this. When you've got that down, I'll help you learn this way. Try again and relax."

"Hai."

Yu launched himself into the moves, allowing himself to relax and the movements came easier. "Arigatou Misao-senpai."

"Your welcome. Has Sano been teaching you anything new?"

"Hai. He showed me something today."

"Show me."

Yu began to move again as he went through the technique Sano had showed him not too long ago. Misao watched him and he awaited her critique.

"You are doing wonderfully, Yu-kun. You are lucky to have Sano as a teacher."

"Iie. I'm lucky to have you as a teacher to Misao-senpai."

Misao was surprised and touched at the boy's outburst. "Yu-kun…arigatou."

Misao hugged the young boy before she left to help Kaoru prepare dinner. Mei was supposed to come back tonight, and they were going to have a nice big dinner.


"Minna! I'm home!" Mei's voice rang throughout the yard. "Mei!"

"Misao!" The two met in a huge embrace.

Kaoru came out of the dojo smiling. "Mei-chan! How was your trip?"

Mei's smile disappeared and reappeared. "It was great in some ways and fine in others."

"Nani?" Misao was confused. "What are you talking about Mei?"

"Nothing. Let's get inside, ne?"

"Where's Sa-san? Did he have to go?"

"Hai, but says he'll come by for a visit tomorrow."

"That would be nice."


"Mei?" Kaoru closed the door to Mei's room after she entered.

"Kaoru-san?" Mei looked up surprised.

"Daijobou? When you came back, you didn't look well."

"I'm fine… just a little tired."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Hai, demo… he still hasn't changed. He still can't see how much he really loves her."

"Mei… we're not sure if he really loves her though…"

"Of course he does! You should have seen him after Misao had tried to kill herself. And when she disappeared…he has to love her… he has too…"

"…" Kaoru tried her best to comfort Mei. This was beginning to be too hard on all of them. "We can't change him. The only thing we can do is help Misao-chan forget and move on."

"We've tried already Kaoru. We tried everything."

"Then maybe we should let Misao do this herself. Help her when she asks us to…

Their voices faded as they lost themselves in their own thoughts.

Outside Misao stood close by listening to their conversation until their voices faded away. Instead of going back to her room, Misao walked into the garden to sit on the bench. She made a silent vow to herself and her friends. I'm going to move on. I won't worry them anymore.


"Misao-neesan!" Asuko ran towards Misao's back. Misao turned just in time to catch the laughing toddler. A smile appearing on her lips, her gaze soft and tender. No longer was the iciness within her. It had disappeared and was replaced by the warmth that she had lost.

"Hai, Su-chan?"

"Let's go play a game. Onegai? Onegai?" Misao looked at Asuko's wide hopeful eyes and sighed.

"Gomen. I can't play right this moment, but if you wait until I finish sweeping the dojo, I'll play any game you want." Asuko smiled wider. "HAI!" Misao put Asuko down and continued to sweep. Asuko watched Misao sweep. Misao-neesan was important to her. Asuko loved her almost as much as her okaasan. Asuko thought Misao to be really generous and beautiful. It had been six months since her Misao-neesan had come to live with them. Asuko had grown fond of her, following her around.

Misao smiled. It had been three months and she was beginning a new and better life. One that required no violence and no heartache. Mei had stayed with her at the dojo. The two of them help take care of the dojo and Asuko. Yu had begun to master the arts of kenpou under her careful instructions. I've settled in. This is what it's like to lead a normal life. So peaceful. My heart isn't aching anymore. I can just bury those feelings and forget them.

"This is the beginning."

"Nee-san?" Asuko was waiting impatiently for Misao.

"Ah! Gomen. Gomen! I'm almost done little Su-chan."

"There. All done. Time to play Su-chan!"

"Hai!" Misao held the small girl in her arms in a quick embrace before she put Asuko down. She laughed as Asuko tugged on her arm leading them to a playing spot.

Kaoru looked up when she heard Misao's laughter. She smiled happily.

"She's healing." Kaoru smiled at Mei.

"Hai. She is. I'm so glad. It does not suit her to be so cold and unfeeling." Mei and Kaoru watched as Misao ran after Asuko trying to catch the laughing toddler.

Misao stopped chasing Asuko for a moment and whistled. Shin swooped down and landed on her shoulder. "Ne, Su-chan? Come here."

Asuko ran to Misao and clapped excitedly when she saw Shin. "Su-chan, this is Shin."

"CAN I pet him?"

"Hai." Misao placed Shin on Asuko's shoulder. She laughed and petted Shin. Misao watched her fondly. She let out a wistful sigh. She felt the familiar longing in her heart. She was eighteen, close to nineteen. She should have been married by now, and raising a family of her own. But she needed to be in love. She refused to go into a loveless marriage. But I only love…stop it. She scolded herself. Time will help me forget. She smiled and her eyes took on a mischievous glint. "Su-chan, weren't we in the middle of something?"

Asuko nodded and laughed. She ran off leaving Misao to chase her.

Misao was amused by Asuko's antics. She reminds me of me. She mused. Voices echoed in her mind.

'Eiji-niichan! You can't catch me!'

'Aa. But I can… got ya!'

'Oniichan! Stop tickling me!'

'But I like to see my little Mi-chan smile.'

'Don't worry. I'll always smile for Eiji-niichan. Always and forever.'

Misao smiled at the memory and caught Asuko up in her arms. Asuko tried to wiggle free, but Misao's grip was strong. Misao placed Asuko on the ground and began to tickle her. I'll always smile for Eiji-niichan. Always and forever. Asuko shrieked with laughter and tried to tickle her oneesan back. So they sat there tickling each other and laughing. Kaoru watched them fondly. Thank goodness. She's back.


Author's Notes: Boring boring. These chapters are very boring. Well let's call it the calm before the storm type thing… Remember to do the usual thing. ^_~