( I wrote this from the top of my head, just after editing " Slayers Live: Something Really Irrelevant

( I wrote this from the top of my head, just after editing " Slayers Live: Something Really Irrelevant!" while listening to the song " Love Letter From China" from Ranma 1/2. If you've ever heard it, I think you're hiding somewhere in a hole in your backyard, rocking yourself gently back and forth, chanting "Find a happy place, find a happy place" over and over again… This story is dedicated to my friend Mark, who thinks he's Dilandou, which, (as he would say,) would technically make him God… /('))

(*** Please don't take this story into offense, it was solely created for "wetting your pants at Gaav's expense" entertainment only, and not for ridiculing anyone in real life. This is just my theory of how Gaav first turned against Shabranigdu. If there you have a Super big problem with this story, email me @ Lord_of_Nightmares@j-fan.com, with the subject of "story" and I'll see what I can do about it! ^-^ *Tamoko Sanjii)

Slayers Messed Up

" A 'Man' Who Cain't Get No Real Lovin' "

By: Tamoko Sanjii

Gaav's face turned ashen while on the phone late one afternoon.

" Wha-… what are you…saying?" He asked in an innocent, trembling voice. Quietly listening, the Demon Drag Queen from the Southwest ( or as all you would say, " Demon Dragon King,") slowly fell against the magenta painted wall, sliding down until his (*cHoUuGgEh*) ass hit the carnation pink carpeted floor.

" YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?!" The sad voice echoed through the empty halls of " Big Gay Gaav's Big Gay Gay Pimping House."

" But…Shabranigdu…WHY?" Gaav cried, " WHY?! I DID EVERYTHING YOU EVER ASKED ME TO! I DID YOUR LAUNDRY, EVEN WHILE FINDING YOUR THONG! I MADE YOUR MEALS EVERYDAY, ALL 7,124 OF THEM!" He covered his forehead with his shaking hand.

" I EVEN BATHED YOU ONCE A MONTH!" Tears starting running down his dark face.

" AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME?! WHY?!?!…….."

He waited just a moment more.

" Well, I hope you and DORNKIRK-SAMA are VERY happy! GOOD BYE SHABRANIGDU! NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU SEE A SMILE ON MY (cUoGuLgYh) FACE!" With that being said, Gaav angrily slammed the phone down onto the Mickey Mouse receiver. He was upset. Devastated. Pissed off. ( But most of all, Gaav was…Gaav.)

" Oh…SHABRANIGDU!" The demon ran to his room, crying hysterically. " SHABRANIGDU! I LOVED YOU!!"

Phibrizzo peaked around the corner from the kitchen curiously. He'd known that Gaav and Shabranigdu were having SOME problems lately, but not anything like this.

" Gaav…?" He called, not getting a response. The manzoku walked down the hall, while untying the " Kiss the Manzoku" apron he was wearing while preparing their annual Friday afternoon popcorn. ( Actually, Phibrizzo wore this apron all the time around Gaav.)

He came to the door which said, " To Wong Fuu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Numar is the bestest movie ever" on it. Gaav's crying had been muffled.

Must be crying in his pillow, the poor guy…

" Gaav?" Phibrizzo rapped on the door slightly. " Gaav, what's wrong?"

" GO AWAY!" He screamed back.

" But Gaav, it's me…I'm going to come in…" The short purple haired manzoku opened the door slowly, revealing Gaav laying there on his bed, clutching a pillow close to his chest. He coolly approached him, trying to keep a comforting smile.

" OH PHIBRIZZOOOOOO!"

" Shhh…it's okay, just tell me what happened…" he cooed, " tell me all about it."

" IT WAS HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! SHABRANIGDU! He….he…"

" He…?"

" BROKE UP WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

( Ooooom….*looks at you, the reader* That was a tiny bit messed up, don't you think so? It's really funny once you're in on the joke, lmfao! I'll write some more, it's 10 PM. and I need to get off the computer now so AU REVOIR! Btw- Be on the look out for Slayers and Sesame Street stories, those are frickin' funny! I'll type a couple up soon! ^,~)