Slayers Freetime: Beware of Xelloss(2)
Hey! What you are about to read is some..uh..weird shit. So, this fanfic should be taken with one Cherry flavored pop ( 7up , Pepsi), some Pixy Stix, and some other sugary things! Then it will be enjoyable!
Oh, by the way, if you didn't read my other story, the first beware of Xelloss, Xel has a weakness to coffee, he gets really hyper when he drinks it. K?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Never let me own anything. I'd lose it.
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The last time we saw Xelloss, was when we saw him get blasted away by Lina's Dragon Slave ( by his own will, of course). We spot our beloved psycho Mazoku friend walking down the road of a quaint little village, looking for something to do.
Xel: *sigh* I need something to do. Maybe I can destroy the village...*evil grin*
....nah, then I'd have to listen to one of Amelia's Justice speeches....
He walks by a cafe, that has a HELP WANTED sign on it. He walks by it, does a double-take, then grins (evilly)...
Xel: Hmm... What's this? Help Wanted: Richie's Cafe. As long as it includes coffee...I'm in!
Xel walks in the door, and approaches a young man at the counter.
Xel: Hiya! I'm here about the job....
Young Guy: What job?
Xel: Uh.. The Help Wanted sign was up there, so I'm guessing you need an extra worker..?
Young guy: ...Is the help wanted sign broken?
Xel: NO! I want the JOB!
Young guy: uh..ok.. do you like coffee?
Xel: ^_^ yes...
Young guy: Have you ever worked at a cafe before?
Xel: ^_^ no....
Young guy: OK, your in. You can start your shift now, if you like.
Xel: Oh goodie!
Xel changes into his outfit: an all black ensemble, and gets behind the counter. He pours himself a cup of coffee...espresso, to be exact..a drinks it all down..
An unfortunate customer walks in.
Xel: HIYA!!! Welcome to Richie's cafe! We have a Wiiiiddddeeee selection of the BEST coffees! What can I do for YOU??!!
Customer: u-u-uh,... I t-think I'll have t-the-
Xel: Hurry Up!!
Customer: I'll have t-the e-espresso..
Xel: NO! MY ESPRESSO! *attacks the customer*
We now see Xel getting kicked out by the manager.
Manager: And stay out!
Xel: *starts walking down the street* Oh phooey, now I have to find another job..
*Xel walks by a gay stripper club*
Xel: Goody! A perfect job for me! *reads the sign on door* Help Wanted: Must Be 21 or older and male. Hmm.. Well I'm WAY over 21, and last time I checked I was male so...okayz! ..What's this? *reads different sign* Bring a friend to entertain the audience...^_^ Ohhh Vaaallll!!
*dissappears and reappears with Val*
Val: *stoned* Duuude...what's up..uh, ...Xel?
Xel: Nothing, sweety. ( lucky me! Val's stoned!) We're gonna get a job at a strip club.
Val: Dude...cool...
Xel: ^_^ he's going along with it!
They walk in the doors, and sign up. The gay dude, which I will name...uh.. Lark..starts talking to them.
Lark: Like, Hi guys, are you starting here?
Xel: Yep ^_^ We're newbies, but I can't say I'm inexpierienced..^_^ As for Val..
Val : *smoking pot* Dude, this is awesome shit....*puff*
Xel: ..He probably never did anything but get high.
Lark: Ohh... Well, your shifts aren't till tonight, so go tour the town with your sweetie ^_^*!
Xel: Good Idea ^_^!
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Now we find our other characters, Lina, Amelia, Gourry, and Zelgadis, in a small resturaunt in the same town. Well, it's your typical eating scene, with Lina eating like a wild animal, and Gourry doing the same. Amelia and Zel just watch helplessly.
Zel: So tell me, Lina, why are we in this town again?
Lina: 'Cause we're hungry, thirsty, and we need a place to stay tonight!! Got it!!
Zel: *sarcastically* Oh, forgive me, Lord Lina, I didn't mean to interrupt your meal.
Lina: *murderous glare* You're lucky I'm in a good mood!
Gourry: It sure doesn't seem like you're in a good mood to me...
Lina: And who asked you?!
Gourry: The voices...
Amelia: O_o ..voices??
Lina: O_o Wha-
Zel: It would be best if we just left this conversation.
Gourry: How can we "leave" a conversation??
Zel: ... forget I said that, Gourry.
Gourry: K.
Lina: *finished stuffing her face* Ahh, im full...
Amelia: Okay, let's go check in at the inn.
They all go to a nearby inn, and get 2 rooms. They decide to go around the village to see what was around...
Zel: *sees Richie's Cafe* Hey, can we stop by that cafe over there?
Lina: *sigh* ...for a little, I guess...
*They all head over to the cafe, with Amelia hanging on Zel(poor Zel) and sit down at a table. The young dude comes over and they start to converse*
Young Guy: Hello..uh.. can I help you?
Zel: Yeah, what kind of coffees do you have here?
Young Guy: Well ...ya.. you got *trying to read the menu* Itai-lian Row ast-
Gourry: He means Itailian Roast, Zel.
Zel: *sweatdrops* Yes, Gourry, I know.
Amelia:*whispers to Lina* I think that young guy and Gourry have a common bond..*Lina nods in agreement*
Young guy: Then..uh..you've got..the..uh *squinting at the menu* I Wish cream.
Gourry: He means Irish Cream.
Zel: No duh, Gourry.
Young guy: But..uh.. we don't have any of that ..uh..strong coffee...expresso. Some weird guy with purple hair tried to work here and went psycho on a customer, and he spilt all of it...
Lina: Uh oh...
Amelia: ...eep...
Zel: Not good...that means....HE's here.
Gourry: Who's HE?
Amelia:..HIM..
Gourry: Who?
Lina: You'll find out soon enough...
*They leave, and start walking and talking in the village's nightlife*
Lina: I wonder where HE is...
Amelia: I know, HE's so annoying...
Gourry: You guys are mean...~_~
Zel: HE should be around here somewhere..^_^
Gourry: You too, Zelgadiss.
All three: ^_^
*They all pass the strip club with loud music, they hear laughs and screams inside*
Lina: ^_^ Maybe we can try in there...
Amelia: Lina-san! That is not right!
Lina: We're looking for HIM, not enjoying ourselves ^_^....
Zel: *sweatdrops* NO WAY! You're not getting me in there!
Gourry: Where are we going?
Lina: *evil-grin* you'll find out soon enough, Gourry dear...
After forcing Zel in, and explaining to Gourry what place this was, they all looked around. And of course, on the stage, was Xelloss and Val, in European bathing suits with black bows on them. Val, obviously , was still stoned.
Xel: Lina-san!! I knew you couldn't resist me!!
Lina: X-X-Xelloss? What the hell is going on????!!
Xel: Well.... I got bored after you dragon slaved me... soooo I tried to get a job at a cafe, went postal, got kicked out, then I'm here!
LIna: Why is Val here? Wouldn't he kill you right now?
Xel: I snatched him up when he was getting high, and obviously he still is...
*Val starts booty dancing to "Shake your bon bon*
Lina: I see what you mean * sweatdrops*...
Gourry: So who was HIM?
Lina: him.
Gourry: Who?
Lina: Him! Xelloss!
Gourry:.....ohhhh
Amelia: He's hopeless...
Zel: Obviously...
Xel: Well?! What are you waiting for, Lina? Let's dance!
Lina: uh....no
Xel: *pouts* Oh, why not?!
Lina: First of all, you're wearing a european bathing suit with a bow, and the song playing is Ricky martin, so...no.
Amelia: *giggle*
Xel: Fine! I'll dance with my true love! Val!
Val: Dude, what the fuck is going on?! Why am I here?...Xelloss!?!?
Xel:..uh..oh.....
Val: Fucking Fruitcake mazoku!!
Xel: Can fruitcakes fuck? ^_^
Val : not THAT again!
Lina: Should I Dragon Slave them?
Amelia: Yep.
Zel: Absolutely.
Gourry:......huh? What were you saying?
Lina: ...Ok then, Darkness beyond twilight (etc etc)
Xel: I did'nt see THAT coming *sarcasticlally*
Val: Oh shit....
Lina: Dragon Slave!!!
*Val& Xel are blasted away, along with the whole strip joint*
Gourry: whoa.
Zel: ........
Amelia: Way to go, Ms. Lina!
Lina: Thanks, Amelia. Let's go.
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Soo...Review? Yes? No? Maybe?
Please? Should I continue these episodes?
I need your opinion! I'm open for suggestions!
Email me at mystynight2468@hotmail.com
Or talk to me on napster, my s/n is mystynight2468
Thanx, and i hope you liked my fic!!
