Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss. All others are mine.
Rating: R
Summary: Anya goes through the four fear tests in order to save her friends.
Feedback:Yes. Please R/R . This is a mult-part story so the more comments the better the story gets.
Distribution: Cool that would be great just ask me 1st.
Note: This is a fear dream so no, none of the scoobies would act like this in a million years. It's just Anya's fear intensified that's all.

Chapter 4: Fear of Rejection:

Anya's tears flowed freely as she shook in front of D'hoffryn. The trauma of the previous encounter was almost forgotten until she relived the whole ordeal. The violence and cruelty of it had fueled her hatred of humanity. She didn't even realize her hatred was actually based on that in part. She could still feel the touch of Peter's hands on her and the last image of her friend pulling the trigger.

"Are you ready to renounce your humanity," said D'Hoffryn.

"That was so awful. There is so much evil in the world. I have witnessed most of it and caused some of it, but that is a memory that will always follow me. The rabbits." She said laughing a bit to herself " I never made the connection"

"Yes much cruelty is in this world," said D'hoffryn.

"But since that time I have experienced so much love and so much sacrifice for what is right. I have seen through Xander's eyes that humans can be kind and they can care for each other. Buffy risks her life on a nightly basis and that could make her distant and bitter but she's not. All of them know what I almost did to them with the wish universe Cordy created but they still accept me for who I am. I am a valuable member of the team. The most important thing I know is that Xander loves me and that restores my faith in humanity. He restores my faith in everything. Your test has failed D'hoffryn."

"Ahh yes your love of this mortal is strong but there are still fears you have. Fears of the future and of your friends' feelings for you. Fears of inadequacy and abandonment. I can smell these fears coming off of you. The stench of them reeks in you. You may have passed the first test but you have not faced your inner fears. These are the fears of the future that you have never faced and have buried deep inside yourself. Once you confront them you will confront your fear of humanity itself. Examine one of you future fear's young Anyanka. I dare you," said D'hoffryn as the cloud appeared again in front of Anya again.

As the cloud vanished Anya saw herself standing in the magic shop with Willow, Giles, Buffy and Xander.

"Xander!" Anya screamed as she put her arms around him and kissed him passionately. "I had the weirdest dream. You and Buffy were.. Oh never mind I don't want to think about it. I'm just glad your OK. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside just seeing you. Let us go somewhere private so we can have lots and lots of sex."

"Jesus Anya ,is that all you ever think about. It was fun in the beginning but it does get tiresome. Even though I have to admit I did enjoy hitting it from time to time. " Said Xander as he smacked her on the ass. Images of Peter smacking her on the ass came back to her and the hotel room and the rabbit ears. She shuttered a little and put it out of her mind. Suddenly she looked around as everyone was smiling at her.

"Why is everyone smiling so much. Is there a reason to be cheerful that no one told me about?" said Anya.

"Are you going to tell her Xander," said Willow. "She really should know. It's only fair"

"Tell me? Tell me what. Oh is this a surprise. I love surprises. " Said Anya excited.

"You could say that," said Buffy smiling more. " A big surprise."

"It's a present isn't it. Oh Xander, you bought me a present didn't you. You are such a great boyfriend. I hope it is something nice and very expensive. I like expensive presents." said Anya smiling to Xander.

"Oh yes a present," said Giles as he and the others started to giggle a bit. "That's a good one."

"Is it some of those sparkly rocks I like," said Anya ignoring the others giggling.

"Diamonds?" Willow laughed out.

"Yes they are very pretty and very expensive which is why I like them, but I don't believe I find them as amusing as you do Willow," said Anya a little concerned as the others look at her.

"This is really pitiful," added Buffy. "I can barely stand to watch it"

"Totally pitiful. I agree," said Giles. "But quite amusing nonetheless"

"Yes quite amusing, I agree." Willow chimed in.

"What is it? I don't understand. Is there something wrong with my present. Is it broken or something?" asked Anya.

"Should I tell her or let her suffer in anticipation some more." said Xander to the group.

"You might as well tell her Xander. Otherwise we will be here all day. She's really dense so you better take it slow with her so she understands OK," said Buffy sarcastically.

"I don't think even I can talk that simply but I'll try." Said Xander pausing to look at her. "Anya it's over between us," said Xander.

"What do you mean over?" asked Anya.

"I told you she was too dense to get it," Said Buffy.

"You and I, This is all over. I'm bored," said Xander. "You annoy the hell out of me and I just can't take it anymore. It's time to move on. Understand?"

"Actually Xander I'm amazed you were able to put up with her stupid comments as long as you did," said Giles.

"Well I only did that because she was good in bed," replied Xander "But now that I've had her in every possible way what else is there. And she chatters endlessly about the most annoying thing. Sometimes I just wanted to stuff a sock in her mouth you know."

Images of Peter popped into her vision again and she shook them off.

"Yes quit, I was actually thinking of banging her myself, but then I realized that banging Xander's sloppy seconds was just too gross," Laughed Giles. "Plus you are right, the endless annoying chatter does get to you, I felt like leaving the store many a time just to get away from the constant bantering about nothing. It can totally drive you mad sometimes"

"I don't understand? You used me?" asked Anya to Xander as she choked back tears. "And you didn't like the way I took care of the store, Giles?"

"Oh heavens no," said Giles "I just wonder how many patrons you scared away with your silly chatter. I must have lost thousands of dollars on that alone."

"She's starting to cry," said Willow noticing Anya's eyes starting to water " I can't believe it. She couldn't have thought anyone could have actually cared about her could she?"

"No willow, even Anya can't be that dumb, I mean she is barely human. She had to know we were all just keeping her around for our amusement," replied Buffy. " I know I got a jolly or two from her being around."

"This makes no sense. Why are you being so cruel?" said Anya the tears starting to roll down her face. " I don't understand any of this?"

"Cruel," said Giles "You know what is cruel is, hearing your stupid comments day in and day out. It is like hearing chalk on a blackboard. You always say the wrong thing at the wrong time and embarrass yourself constantly. To be honest if we all didn't get a good laugh at your stupid comments we would have kicked you to the curb a long time ago. After a while the comments just stopped being funny and were sad and annoying, too annoying for any of us I can tell you that. We were waiting for little Anya to just grow up and stop acting like a greedy silly little child but that day never came."

"I thought you found my musings funny," said Anya as her stomach started to hurt. "And I thought I was just being a capitalist. I though that greed is good."

"Oh Jesus this bitch is really dumb," said Xander "You're a vengeance demon or were one before Giles tricked you. You must have even a small brain to process all of this. It was all a big lie."

"Lie?' said Anya.

"Yes a lie, you silly girl," chiming in Giles "We all lied to you. We all told you we were your friends. We were just saying that. We were waiting for Xander to get bored with you."

"And it's about time Xander because this girl was really getting on my nerves," added Buffy.

"Tell me about it," said Xander "You would think being a demon created to avenge women who were abused she would have been able to pick up when she was getting abused herself."

"You can't be leaving me Xander. This can't be happening," said Anya as all the others started laughing at her and pushing her towards the door.

"Anya just make sure you never show you face in here again or well I guess I'll just have to stake you," said Buffy. "Since you already were a former demon I don't think it would go against the slayer code would it Giles?"

"No I don't believe so. The stupid always deserve to die," laughed Giles as the pushed her out the door and she feel to the ground.

"You can't leave me. What am I suppose to do?" said Anya as she felt like she was going to throw up.

"Here," said Giles throwing her a dollar. "Why don't you go fondle this dollar."

They all got a good laugh at Giles last joke and shut the door hard.

"I'm all alone," said Anya. "They just used me, Xander just used me. Just like every other guy and every other human they just used me"

Anya felt her anger rise, She was used, she was not special and was considered a joke to the entire scoobie gang. Humans were evil and then the cloud reappeared and transported her out of her nightmare into the world of D'hoffryn again.

"You have seen one of your greatest fears realized," said D'hoffryn smiling down at her. " A future fear that you were worthless, a joke to all around you. This is a real fear you have buried deep inside yourself Anya. You have a fear of being an outsider, rejected by the world, not human or demon. Why would you have this fear if it had no basis in reality? Do you feel like the joke of the team sometimes, the comic relief that just gets in the way? Do you feel like a plaything of the young Xander Harris? That no one really is your friend and they only tolerate you."

"No this is a fear not a reality," said Anya "It is not real. It is my own insecurity. Xander Harris loves me"

Anya remembers Xander's declaration of love to her just before Riley left How impressed Giles looked at her when she helped him balance his books for the magic shop. How Buffy had treated her, like an equal and never looked down at her silly comments. She had respected her. Anya finally realized her fears we're unfounded. It was some horrible nightmare world that this test created. It preyed on her darkest fears but it was not true. She had friends and she had to hold on to her humanity to save them. She would hold on no matter what.

"No D'hoffryn, sorry but I'm not buying. They are still my friends your test has failed," said Anya smiling proudly.

"Ahh my poor Anyanka. That was but only two of four tests you will go through. You still have more fears to explore. I am sure in you will be mine again when all is done." he smiled.

"Bring it on," she said.

"As you wish," said D'hoffryn as the familiar cloud appeared around Anya. She was ready to face her next fear.

End of Chapter 4.