Disclaimer: Andromeda is owned by Tribune.
Author's Note: This is an idea I've been throwing around in my mind for a couple of weeks now. I wasn't sure of
whether to write a fic or not, but ended up doing so anyway. I'm not very good with titles, either so please forgive
me there. Reviews are appreciated.



Trance Gemini pensively paced in her quarters, debating what hadn't left her mind for a couple of days. She helped
the other members of Andromeda's crew come to decisions that were right for them and everyone else, but the
decision that she was faced with was impossible for her to make. Unlike the rest of the crew, she had no one to turn
to for advice or insight on her dilemma. Even if she did have someone to turn to, it wasn't something she could easily
explain or talk about.

"You knew this was going to happen," she chastised herself. "Just because you're here doesn't mean you're immune
to it. You hadn't given it any serious thought, and now you only have two days to do something."

Her pacing grew more frantic as her mind was drawn deeper into thought. Her tail lifted from its habitual position on
the floor to knee level where it twitched nervously. She glimpsed back at it. The change was so subtle someone
would have had to meticulously observe it to notice the difference. No one would even be aware of the situation until
Rommie detected it, after it was too late.

"Either tear apart Andromeda or have yourself torn apart. Which is the lesser of the two evils?" she pondered. She
knew the answer, but it wasn't something she was willing to confront yet.

She gazed at her green bean bag chair and was reminded of Hydroponics. She had been purposely avoiding it for the
past couple of days. It was often where she had revelations and moments of clarity. Part of her feared that the
revelation that would come wouldn't be a pleasant one. It was no longer an option to wait. She conjured up enough
courage to leave her quarters and stepped out into the corridor.

It was strangely quiet. During most of her walks from one destination to another, she would encounter other crew
members. There was no one on this walk to greet her and ask her how everything was going. She would have even
been happy to see Tyr, who hadn't taken a particular fondness to her. It seemed very foreboding to her. The feeling
of impending doom was creeping over her, and she couldn't stop it.

She entered Hydroponics. A wave of guilt rushed over her for allowing them to go without care for two days. The
more sensitive plants were beginning to droop and were in obvious need of water. She immersed herself in work,
fertilizing, watering and trimming the plants. Tending to the plants was a reprieve, keeping her mind off the issues at
hand. The simplicity of the plants sometimes amazed her. While everything around her was total chaos, they were
content to be watered, fertilized and trimmed, needing nothing else. They had no emotional needs, no morality,
nothing she had difficulty dealing with. They were just pretty.

She reached her favorite plant, a dawn-tinted amaryllises hybrid she named Aurora, to find it had wilted and turned
slightly brown. "My poor Aurora. I'm so sorry that I haven't come to take care of you. There's just been a whole
lot on my mind the past couple of days."

"What's on your mind, Trance?" Harper was leaning against one of the larger, more stable saplings.

She turned around and stood, wondering when he had come in Hydroponics. "It's nothing."

"You've been avoiding me for the past two days. Everyone's worried about you."

"I haven't been avoiding anyone. I just haven't been feeling well." She was glad that she wasn't lying. Worry had
already made her sick, adding lies to that would make it even worse.

"There's a dinner tonight in Dylan's quarters at nineteen hundred hours to celebrate Jaeron joining the
Commonwealth. You should come."

"As I said, I haven't been feeling very well." She just wanted to go back to her quarters and forget she had even seen
Harper at all.

"So, you're too sick for us, but you're not too sick for a bunch of plants?" He glared at her.

She wished he wasn't so insistent. This was difficult enough for her as it was. "I'll be there, Harper."

"Nineteen hundred hours." He walked to the doorway before stopping. He turned back around. "If you change
your mind and want to talk about it, just find me. I'll listen."

The Hydroponics doors closed behind him. She sighed and plopped down on the floor. She curled up around her
knees and rocked back and forth. It was a very kind gesture. More often than not, she was the one who did all the
listening to Harper's problems, ideas and complaining. Under that sarcastic exterior, a place he let few people see,
was a nice guy. If she couldn't confess this to him, her best friend, then who could she tell?

She returned to Aurora. "I would tell you about all this, but I don't think you could help much."

A little less than two hours passed while she tended to the plants. Hydroponics was looking at least a little greener by
the time she finished. Under normal circumstances, she would have smiled for a job well done, but these
circumstances were everything but normal. She gave the plants one last look before returning to her quarters.

"What do I do now?" She was too exhausted to pace after spending so much time working. It had been well over
thirty-six hours since she last slept. "I'll just lay down for a couple of minutes." She pulled down the blankets on her
bed and tucked herself in. The warmth started to lull her into a drowsy state. "Just a minute or two more. I won't
fall asleep." She yawned. "No, I'm not falling asleep." Her eyes closed, and she drifted off...

Complete and utter silence surrounded her. She could hear the blood rushing and her heart beating in her ears.
Her arm itched, and she tried to move her hand. She was restrained. Her eyes opened, and she saw Command
Deck around her. It wasn't Command Deck, though. It was an amalgamation of blacks, whites and grays. Not a
single thing had even the slightest touch of color or distinction.

"You know what you must choose," a voice boomed around her.

"Who are you? Why am I here?" She fought against the restraints of the slipstream pilot's seat again.

Dylan walked onto Command Deck with confidence and aplomb, as silent and black and white as the rest of
Command Deck.

"Dylan, I'm so glad you're here! Please help me." She smiled as she saw him approach her.

He was silent and passed the slipstream pilot's chair to examine a console.

"Please help me!" she begged.

She was ignored by every black and white crew member until only one wasn't on Command Deck; Harper. She had
almost given up hope. The silence, lack of colors and disheartening mood, as well as her dilemma, brought even the
optimistic Trance down. She thought it was only a matter of time before she starved to death.

The doors opened again. She glanced up with a gloomy expression. To her surprise, a vibrant, colorful and
seemingly normal Harper walked onto Command Deck. Behind him trailed the colors and sounds Andromeda
usually was home to.

"Harper..." She was rendered almost speechless.

"Hiya, Trance." He released her from the restraints before leaning over and whispering in her ear. "You know
what you've gotta do."

"But I don't want to ruin something that's already so wonderful."

"Who says you're going to ruin it? Maybe this is an opportunity in disguise."

"I don't want to hurt," she began.

"You won't hurt anyone. You know what you've gotta do, Trance. Do it."

She felt his blue eyes seeing right through her, trying to put her insecurities to rest. There was nothing she could
say or do, only let it sink in. It started to, and she thought that this might not be such a terrible thing...


She awoke confused, not even certain of whether she was aboard Andromeda or not. It took her a minute or two to
regain her faculties. The dream was very disturbing to her. She sometimes had messages and answers delivered to
her in her dreams. In the past, she had faithfully obeyed the messages, but this time she knew she couldn't. She
decided to attend the dinner tonight, but then she would do what she had to do.

She looked at her clock and found that it was 18:49 hours. She had only eleven minutes to prepare for the dinner.
She changed from her current attire into her dark purple outfit with a silver belt. She fixed her hair. She knew she
didn't look great, but it was acceptable enough. She hurried down to Dylan's quarters.

"You're here, Trance," Harper said, sounding surprised.

"I don't break promises." She seated herself in the only remaining chair, between Harper and Beka.

Wine was poured and passed around the table, in preparation for a toast. The food in the center of the table looked
delicious, several of her favorite dishes that she was sure were prepared to cheer her up, but she had pretty much lost
her appetite.

"A toast to the restoration of the Commonwealth. Only thirty-seven more planets to go," Dylan said as he raised his
glass.

"To the Commonwealth," everyone echoed and clinked their glasses together.

Trance took a couple of sips of her drink and only picked at her food with her fork. Everyone else was engaged in
conversation, about sports, shipments and whatever came up in-between. She was silent, though, just nodding when
it was necessary. Being sociable was hopeless when so much was on her mind.

"Trance? Are you with us?" Harper asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"What do you think? Yes or no?"

She hadn't been paying attention and wondered what she had been asked. "Definitely yes."

Everyone stifled their laughter. Dylan asked, "When did you develop an interest in air hockey and pool?"

"I...I've always liked them." She wondered what air hockey and pool were.

"It's getting late. I have a lot to do before I sleep," Rev said as he stood. "I enjoyed dinner, Dylan. Good night
everyone."

"Speaking of going, I have things that need to be done, too." Tyr stood. "Thank you, Dylan."

"I'm going to turn in, too," Harper said. He leaned towards me and whispered, "We need to talk later."

She nodded and watched everyone but Dylan leave. "I'll help you clean up."

"You don't have to."

"No, I want to." She started picking up dishes and carrying them to the kitchen portion of Dylan's quarters. She
turned on the water and let the sink fill up. She washed several plates and laid them beside the sink.

"Are you all right, Trance?" Dylan dried the dishes and placed them in cabinets and drawers.

"I'm fine." She finished washing the last dish and released the plug in the bottom of the sink.

"You haven't been yourself the past couple of days, and we're all concerned."

"I've just been a little sick. That's all. I'm feeling better already." She smiled for his benefit.

"Thanks, Trance. Good night."

"Good night, Dylan." She exited his quarters and headed towards her quarters.

She reached a juncture between the corridor she would take to her next destination and the one leading to her
quarters. She stopped in her path and turned away from her quarters. Her next destination was Hangar Bay. She
walked inside and stared at the Maru. She had flown with Beka enough to be able to set it to auto pilot. It didn't
matter where she went. The results would be the same.

She boarded the Maru and was heading towards the cockpit when something dropped from a tube above in her path.
It was Harper.

"What do you think you're doing, Trance?" He blocked her from moving any farther forward.

"I'm saving you and everyone else on board." She tried to push past him.

"No you don't! I want an explanation. Why are you doing all this?"

"I would tell you, but I can't. Not telling you is the best choice." She wanted to tell him, for him to make everything
better again. On some level, she realized that wouldn't happen, though.

"I've heard a lot in my life. I can handle whatever you have to say."

"If I did tell you, it would only complicate this."

"We're best friends, aren't we? Best friends tell each other stuff, and then they work it out. Together."

She felt a pang of guilt in her heart. "All right...I'll tell you. I haven't told you much about my species."

"You haven't told me anything."

"In my species, when females reach maturity, they go into...a state where they release a type of psychic energy that
causes violence in males. It pulls them towards the female, even when the female is stars away." She blushed and
didn't want to continue.

"Kinda like dogs on Earth in heat. You're in this stage?"

"I will be in a matter of less than two days. The males will destroy Andromeda if they find me. So I can't risk that.
I'm taking the Maru and protecting all of you."

"Is there any other way you can stop it?"

"It isn't an option."

"How do you know?"

"Because it would ruin something I don't want to ruin." The tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want to be
having this conversation.

"What is the other option?"

She sighed and trained her eyes on the ground. "I have to have sex before my brain goes into that state."

"So you're just going to lay dead in space until some guy from your species comes and basically rapes you?"

"Yeah." I felt like a terrible person.

"Have you ever had sex before, Trance?"

She didn't like all of the personal questions that were being posed. Instead of speaking, she just shook her head and
kept her eyes on the ground.

"Wouldn't you rather have someone that really cares about you...hell, I love you, Trance."

She was shocked that he loved her. Friendship was one thing, but love was another. She wasn't even sure she really
knew what love was. She didn't think she had experienced it, but if she had, it was for him. "You're...pretty much
my only friend. And I don't want to lose you. I want to tell you that I love you, but I don't even know what love
really is."

"I'm not going to lie to you. There's a chance that our friendship could be ruined. But there's also a chance
something beautiful could be created. Love is one of those things that you just can't put into words. If you love
someone you know it."

"It...wouldn't be right, Harper." She gazed up at him.

He kissed her gently. She closed her eyes and didn't resist. It felt natural, as if she had been kissing him every day of
her life. She had wondered for a long time what his kisses were like and was pleasantly surprised.

"Tell me, Trance. Was that wrong?"

"No..." She didn't have much of an argument anymore.

"We don't have the luxury of moving as slowly as most people, but wouldn't you rather have that than some savage
purple guy?"

She nodded. "I'm scared."

"You don't have to be. Can we get off the Maru now before Beka finds us and kills us?"

"Yeah." She weakly smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

They began walking out of the Maru. "Trance, how do you know you're going to go into this thing?"

"It's my tail. It's a much darker shade than my skin. And I feel funny."

"It is darker." He touched her tail.

"How many women have you been with?"

"Ummmm...I really couldn't tell you." He was obviously uncomfortable.

"Just approximate."

"Let's see...four carry the three add six and subtract eleven. I've been with three women. But don't tell anyone
that."

"Did you love them?"

"No."

"Why were you with them, then?"

"It felt good. And they didn't love me, either. It isn't like you and I."

"What makes us so different?"

"We're friends. Friendship's a good foundation for real love. I wasn't friends with any of those women before we
hooked up. And it never lasted very long."

"Do you think we'll be together for a long time?"

"Maybe. A lot of these questions won't have answers for awhile, Trance. Love's a mystery and different every time.
It could last an hour or a night or a week or a year."

She was quiet and wondered what would come of this. Love was confusing. She longed to know what would
happen before hand. For the first time, she didn't have any intuition towards something. Like everyone else, she
would have to live day by day and have the answers unveiled slowly.