Once a chickenwuss

Once a chickenwuss.

Declaimer: I don't own any character or its merchandise form FF8, they are all belonged to Squaresoft.

Author's note: This chapter is Yaoi, so for those who don't like yaoi or absolutely hate yaoi, I recommend those to leave. Although there isn't a lot of lemon, it is still a male x male chapter. Kinda sweet, not very strong. I hope you all enjoy it. And please review.

Could you ever able to define the difference between,

'love and attraction?'

'love and friendship?'

'love and sexual desire?' or

'love and intimacy?'

I don't think anyone can be 100% sure. Not even our Lady's man.

Part 4 - The secret beneath.

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"Nida?! You got to be joking." Zell screamed when Irvine told him the suspect. They were sitting on the floor of balcony.

"Oh, damn it. You don't believe me, right?" Irvine sighed. He sipped another mouth of beer.

"It's not what I not trust you. It's just far too unbelievable. I mean, are you really sure?" Zell looked at the gunman. "He is so quite. He seems to be a claim person. It is just not him."

Irvine exhaled deeply. He silenced for a moment, "I want you to listen carefully. And promise me not tell anyone. Not even, Danii, Selphie or Sqaull. Is that ok?"

Zell thought it hard. That meant no one knew, not even Selphie. That had to be something really serious to Irvine. If he didn't want to hear, not one will hear that. That meant no one could help Irvine. Then, he promised, "Whatever you say, I will not tell anyone. I promise you."

Irvine looked into Zell's eyes. "Sure?!"

Zell nodded. "Yap. …..And all of my GFs are willing to shut their mouth."

Irvine smirked. "Thanks." Irvine took a pack of cigarette from the back pocket, and started smoked. One after one, like a chimney.

Zell waited. One cigarette finished and the other, Irvine just keep smoking. "C'mon. Spill it out. You are now in this situation. No turning back now. You walk that far, you sure can carry on. I am willing to listen, and help." After saying some encouraging words, Zell patted Irvine's shoulder to induce a go-ahead sign.

Irvine pulled his head up, staring to the sky. Sagely said, "Nida and I were in love."

Zell blanked. Irvine continued, "It was about three years ago. We were both in Galbalia Garden. He joined a summer course. We shared the same flat. Our relationship began when the shooting course started." Remembered the past. Everything seemed so flesh, just liked happened yesterday.

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Two years back in Galbadia Garden.

After the one-to-one training course, with a ached body, Irvine walked back to his room. Ignoring all the girls asking for a date. Irvine just smiled back to them and said, "I am sorry. I am extremely tired. Next time errr? All right? I am sorry. I don't want to turn down such a pretty like you." One by one, he refused the twentieth girl and finally arrived his dorm door.

Irvine walked into the darkened room. He leaned his body on the armchair. He was not himself today. Once again, he remembered his past. That was a July-16, a Selfie's-birthday-day. Yeap, his beloved charming lady. Irvine missed this girl from the orphan, eventhough he had no idea when would they meet again, or perhaps never.

"Irvine, you back? How's it going?" asked Nida, Irvine's roommate. Without any response, Nida walked into the bathroom. Then, he saw Irvine curled his long body, soaked in the bath of cold water, with tears running down his cheeks. "Irvine…" Nida reached the cowboy.

"Go away!!" Irvine shouted.

Ignored Irvine's response, Nida kneeled down beside the bath. "What happened?"

"You will never understand. How was I today? I tell you I AM FINE. I assassinated five political officers from Deling city. I shot well. I am the best sharpshooter in the Garden. Alright?! Is that all you want to hear?" Irvine dropped his head down. Facing the pool of water. "No body will care if I died. I am just a killing machine after all."

"It is not like that. You are not!!! You are Irvine Kinneas, every girls in the Garden loves you." Nida pushed the fact.

"Yea, they are fucking crazy about my body, right. I don't love them. I only love one person, and I will never find her." Irvine said with anger.

"May be you are right. But you still have me." Nida held Irvine down on his arm. He gave the cowboy a kiss with passion. Irvine more than shocked.

"I love you Irvine. I won't let you down. I will always be here for you." Nida hugged Irvine tightly.

Looking at the mirror beside, Irvine couldn't stop crying, "I…..I don't know what to say"

"That's ok, You don't have to say anything. I understand. You can deny our relationship anytime. I just…….want to make sure you are fine." Nida

"Thanks."

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Balamb Garden second floor balcony.

"That's how it began?" You love Nida?" Asked Zell. "But I thought you love Selphie, more likely."

"Yea, I love Selphie. But didn't you listen, I said I loved Nida. That was past tense. We were over, while half way through the course."

Zell finished the whole can of beer. He said, "Over?"

"………" After another mouth of cigar, "One day, Nida approached me from the back while I was writing my diary. Without saying one of his talent was fast text-reading, he read what I wrote even I tried to close my dairy as quick as I could."

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Back to the past.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Nida was the first one to push out a word, "I think we should break up."

"Nida, I don't mean to hurt you. It is not like that. I can explain."

"No, you don't have to. I will leave."

"No. "

"Stop saying No no no no no. I know you can never forget your hyper-whatever-charming-selfie-girl. But I don't care. I just…………Damn it, How could you compare me with that…..whatever-you-call. After all, she was only a kid. I …. …shit" Nida just couldn't stand anymore. He walked out of the flat and never came back.

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On the Balamb Garden balcony.

They both ran out of word.

Zell ~ It is difficult, man. Truly say Danii is my first love. Not even well experienced Irvine couldn't sort it out himself, what command can I give?

Irvine ~ What else shall I say? Not even I, myself know what I want. How could the others know.

Then, Zell could never think that a GF gave them a hand on this kind of situation, and more surprising, it was Bahamut. One of the weirdest GF he ever known. Try this. Ask him, when two people love each other, when do they know it's over? Saided Bahamut

Zell frowned. The answer was never, right? Anyway, "Irvine. I want you to answer me a question. When two people love each other, when do they know it's over?" Zell looked over to Irvine.

"……When they don't love each other?" asked back from Irvine.

Zell, "Is that right? Bahamut."

Bahamut – Nop. Yours is right. Never thing that you actually have a brain.

After these two days, Zell had already cool with whatever Bahamut said. Anyway, it was a GF, right. You have to make them happy, thus you tried whatever you could to communicate with them. Come on, just let them have a moment of joy. Even they really annoyed you.

Don't think that we don't know what you are thinking!!! Ifrit, Cerberus and Bahamut yelled.

Yea, yea. Whatever.

Zell concentrated on Irvine again. "Nope. The answer is …….."

Irvine cut him in the half way, "Never. Enh?"

Zell sighed. "You already know. You and Nida never finished loving each other. You two just ran away. And now you are in love with Selphie?"

Irvine nodded as if he committed what he done. "Complicated right?"

Zell frowned. "Yea, sure is. But what is this do with your case?"

Irvine gave Zell a Are-you-listening look. "Didn't I tell you Nida and I attended the same SHOOTING course three years ago? Come on, my point is he can shoot."

Noded. Zell analyzed what he knew, "So Nida could shoot, so you accuse him as the murderer?"

Irvine, by now thought he might have chosen the wrong one to discuss this matter. "No only that. I mean I know Nida. He can shoot well. I think he is better than me. And of course, in this case, he can handle an Exeter. Besides he is my roommate."

Catching out Irvine's word. Zell asked immediately, "You mean now as NOW? He is your roommate? Oh my God!"

"I know what you think. But it is not like that. We are nothing to do with each other. It is either I am in the room nor Nida in the dorm. We never be together at the same time. And if Selphie come along, I will write a note to inform him first." Irvine said.

"This is worse than I thought. How can you live with this? And besides, he is a high ranked seed, right? How come he has to share room with a cadet?" Zell.

"That's because Nida is far too quite and no one even noticed he is a seed." Commended by Irvine. Who had already 4 bottle of beer.

Zell thought deeply. "Where was he, when the murder case happened?"

Irvine sighed again. With this, it was his eighth time to squeeze out a depression look. "That's the most important, right? He was in our room, because Selphie was coming. Someone spotted him in the Secret area, I beg he was smoking. I feel sorry for him…."

Zell interrupted Irvine's confession, "Stop. Where is you Exeter then. You said that your Exeter was the weapon that killed those two seeds right."

"Yea, that's another important point that I concern. I didn't checked after I was back. I only made sure my short guns were in my desk table drawer. And that was at the time of sun set. So, my Exeter could be lost before that even I don't know. I never think this will happen in such a peaceful Garden."

Zell said emphatically, "This will be my last question. You suspect Nida is the killer, but do you actually believe that?"

Irvine, shouted, "For god's sake. What kind of stupid question is that? Of course not!!"

Zell who shouted back, "Because of you loved him or pure out of your judge."

Irvine, gave a thought, "A six sense thing. His personality makes him to give my trust. I know him for too long."

Zell shrugged, "You said it. You are a sharpshooter, your sense should be sharp. I trust you, and also your judge. Listen I wanted to believe Nida as well. He is not the murderer."

Irvine looked up the Zell, "Then who will that be?"

Without noticing, or should say, too fast, the door – only exit to the balcony was opened. When they looked at the sound came from. They saw Xu, who was panting next to the doorway. Even looked at the beer can and cigarette all over the balcony floor, Xu didn't give a glimpse at that.

Then, she said, "Nida committed suicide."

Author's note: For those who don't like Yaoi, sorry about that.