Yeah yeah yeah... not a word people. You hear me? NOT A WORD! U_U;;;;;;; I hit my senior year in high school, and have been working my ass off. I got a scholarship, so yeah, it was worth it. If any of you remember me... you have no lives do you?

Scream 5
By kagato23, the evolution of kagato22
Kagato23@mad.scientist.com

Touga rubbed his aching head briefly. Man, he felt like crap. A stinging sensation told him that he was still alive, but he probably wouldn't want to look in a mirror anytime soon. Juri was standing over him, tapping her foot impatiently.

JURI!

Touga snapped up, suddenly very attentive. He immediately regretted this reaction. For one thing, it was still fuzzy, but he probably didn't want to face Juri right now. He should have played possum. For another thing, getting up like that had incapacitated him to the point that he could barely speak, let alone try and jump out the window.

Juri just stood there, looking at him. Touga took the opportunity to look around. He was... in his bedroom? How the hell had he got here?

Juri cocked her head at him, as if studying his reactions. Utena just blinked.

Utena? Touga finally got his eyes to focus. Utena was standing next to Juri. Looking around, he realized that the little room was pretty cramped. Miki was sitting on his bed, next to Kozue and Nanami. Suzuke, Yamada and Tanaka were all leaning on the wall near his door. Akio was standing to his left, smiling seductively Anthy was beside him. To his right, those three girls that followed his sister around appeared to be talking to each other. They suddenly pointed at him and stooped, and gave him unblinking stares.

Touga wasn't quite sure exactly what was going on. All he knew was that his head hurt like hell. "Would somebody please tell me what is going on?" he half snarled.

Everybody turned toward Juri, looking expectant. She still had that complacent, wide eyed look about her that just didn't suit her at all. She slowly murmured something, as if trying to get it out.

"Juri?" Touga managed to get out weakly. Juri suddenly looked him straight in the eyes, and with her projecting voice said...

"Wazzzzzuupp?" And gave a strange smile.

Touga blinked. "Ah?" was all he could comment.

"Wazzzzzzuuuppp!" shouted Utena.

"Wazzzzzuuppppppppp!" Mouthed Akio, doing it a little deeper.

"Wazzzzuupp??" Screamed Miki.

"Wwaaaaaaaa...." Started Suzuke

"Zzzzzzzzzz" continued Yamada.

"Upppppppp!" finished Tanaka.

"You have all gone cuckoo." Touga commented quietly.

"Aaaaaaaa!" Went Anthy.
"Aaaaaaaaaaa...." Replied Kozue.

"Aaaaaaaaaaa!" commented Nanami, obivioulsy wanting to put her two cents in.

"Aaaaaaaaa!" Agreed Juri, crossing her eyes for some reason.

"Waaaaazzzzuuuuuppp!" Touga screamed. His eyes went wide, and he slapped his hands over his own mouth.

"Wazzzzzuupp!" Commented Chu Chu, who he hadn't seen come in.

Touga simply looked around for a moment, obviously having no idea what was going on at all.

"What are you doing!" He screamed at them.

Fortunately for all concerned, he woke up.

***
Touga decided that whatever the hell was about to happen, it couldn't be worse then that weird little trip...

He opened his eyes. Juri was standing over him, tapping her foot impatiently. He decided not to get up at this point, at least till his head stopped throbbing. Well, as long as she didn't start saying that weird "Wazzzzzuupp" thing, it would be all right.

"Hello Touga." She said, with a tone of voice that alleviated his fears. She was a lot calmer then before... He was going to get through this... "Anything to say? Not that you could come up with a good reason why you should be allowed to live another day, mind you. But, tradition usually allows for some last words..."

Kuso. Then again, maybe it would be worth it to try and run. He slowly braced himself on the pavement, trying to get in a position where he could flip into a sprint without falling...

Falling... pavement... falling onto pavement... "Holy shit! Miki!"

"Miki?" Juri's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why would he be a reason for you to live? Unless... oh god. You finally got him?"

Touga noticed disgusted sounds coming from all around him. Shiori, Kozue, those three girls that followed Nanami, Nanami herself, and Utena were surrounding him. Scratch that run solution then. But something more important was happening.

"No no no! Miki is..."

"I can see it all now Touga." Said Juri, her voice dripping with scorn. "Everybody knows that you've been wanting to get into his pants. Since that whole thing with the music teacher..." Kozue scowled at this. "Ahem" said Juri, clearing her throat. Kozue went silent. "Ever since that... incident, you've been renewing your efforts, trying to get the boy. So at this party... it was all about him, wasn't it? The rest of us were just casualties."

"But I didn't do it!" Shouted Touga, with the tone of a well-known criminal defending himself in the one case where he was innocent. "Besides, why are you complaining? I've seen you look at my sister! You always did think she was cute! Why are you complaining? Hunh?"

What happened next was disputed by the students of Ohtori for years to come. Juri Arisuagawa, known in some circles as "The ice bitch" looked down and BLUSHED. Touga rubbed his eyes for a second. Was he actually seeing Juri...?

"But we don't have time for this! Miki is gonna kill himself."
Juri looked up, suddenly interested. "Whhhaaaaaaaaaattttttt?" Touga pointed up. Everybody reflexively followed his hand. They gasped at what they saw.

Miki was teetering on the edge of the balcony of the seitokai meeting place, balancing precariously. His arms were spread wide, albeit he was hesitating.

Miki stood, balancing precariously on the tip of the balcony. This was it. Time to end it all. Just jump.

"Yep, time to go. Goodbye world, it was fun for the most part. I'm gonna jump now. Right of the balcony. I'm gonna jump. No stopping me. Yep. Going down!"

As Miki glanced at a bird flying beneath him. He realized something "My god, I'm acrophobic!" He scotched his heels back toward the banister.

Miki was so amazed by this new revelation about himself that he didn't notice the murmurings of the people standing behind him. He didn't hear the sound of the organ blaring around the area. He did notice the sound of the elevator door opening. Inside those doors, there was... nothing. But standing directly behind him, in a nervous huddle, was Utena, Juri, Touga, Aiko, Keiko, Yuuko, Wakaba, and Shiori. Funny, Shiori kinda looked weird, as if her image was rippling in the heat... Another important ephiffany struck him.

"Hey, how come everybody gets to the top floor before the elevator opens?"

Juri and Touga stopped. Everybody else just looked confused. "What?" They exclaimed simultaneously.

"I said, why do we always get to the top before the elevator opens? Were in the elevator, then poof! Were on the top floor, in some sort of pose. It's weird. It's also physically impossible. Have we ever really though about that?"

"Yeah..." Wakaba blinked. "We were all in the elevator, and then we were up here murmuring about you!"

"I never really gave it any thought..." Juri said, her voice sounding nervous.

"Everybody thinks I'm lesbian, my hair is pink, I can pull a sword out of a girls chest, and now a screwy elevator? Oh this is getting to be to much." With this, Utena attempted to leave the story, which so far was crappy anyway, but the desperate author wouldn't let her, promising things were going to get a little better.

"Well anyway, that can wait. Why are we here again?" Touga scratched his head. "It was something important... Maybe we were all gonna have mad passionate sex?" his voice sounded hopeful.

Miki wailed on account of the traumatic memories this brought up in his head, and stuck his left foot off the balcony, closing his eyes. He continued to put his weight onto that foot, as if walking unto something solid. He began to lean forward, forward...

And suddenly stopped, his head jerking forward. For a fleeting moment, he thought he had stepped unto something solid. Then, remembering his situation, he thought he had acquired the power to fly. He opened an eye, and looked down.

He regained his fear of heights very quickly. His foot was dangling in midair, and that damn flock of birds that always seemed to circle around the tower came around again.

Wakaba was gripping Miki's left arm, and, due to his anorexic physic, having no difficulty supporting his weight "Miki, your always so smart..." she grinned at him "Do you remember why we are all up here?"

3 stories below, one of the birds in the flock suddenly was hit by an extremely large drop of sweat.

Miki rubbed the back of his now wet head. "Your all here to watch me kill myself."

A loud "Ohhhh..." came from the crowd.

"Oh, okay. Bye Miki! See you in the next life!" Wakaba smiled cutely "You want me to let you go now?"

"If you please, yeah."

"Okay!"

"Wait!!" Juri interjected. "Correct me if I'm wrong...Wakaba, right? But wouldn't Miki killing himself be a bad thing?"

Everybody thought for a second.

"Oh yeah!" Exclaimed Utena. "Whose gonna help me with my homework then?"

"Maybe if you actually studied..." Miki interjected.

"Yeah right, that'd be great if maybe everybody and their sister wasn't challenging me to these fracking duels every day! And what's up with this letter thing in my locker?"

"Well, if you let me die, that'll be one less opponent to worry about..." Miki countered.

Wakaba just stood there blinking. "What the hell are you all talking about?"

"We will explain later." Said Utena. "First, maybe you should save Miki?"

Wakaba brought Miki back over the balcony, showing amazing strength, and promptly sat on him to keep him from trying to dive off again.

"You have to let me die!" Wailed Miki, almost whining. "I slept with Touga last night!"

Everybody fell silent. "Geez, that makes me want to jump myself." Said Utena. Nobody laughed.

Juri slowly turned and looked at Touga. Whatever expression was on her face, it made him stumble backward in fear. "Hey, I said I didn't do it. I didn't say I hadn't taken advantage of it!"

"Miki," Shiori softly inquired. "If we toss Touga of the balcony, would that be a fair trade for you not killing yourself? Trust me, being dead sucks."

"I didn't do it!" Touga screamed, desperation creeping into his voice.

"Actually, he really didn't." Anthy was suddenly amongst them. "It was, of all people, Chu Chu. He was trying to help me out." She grinned at Utena. "It worked."

All activity ceased. As one, everybody (except Wakaba) collectively turned toward Utena, who was rapidly going red.

Nanami was the first to recover. "I knew it!"

Nanami smirked. Juri looked a little confused. Shiori smiled. Touga looked downright reverent. Keiko Aiko and Yuuko just looked sick. Anthy winked. Wakaba, who had already gone through this, just sighed.

Miki looked crestfallen. "Right... Okay, that settles it. Let me die."

Anthy pouted. "Die? Aww... don't do that! I'd be willing to sleep with you!"

Miki stopped, and seemed to consider this.

Aiko blinked. "Is it just me, or does Anthy seem a little different?"

Shiori had started to glow. "Damn straight she's different! She killed me!"

"Killed you?" Wakaba's eyes bugged out. "Anthy? Come on! She might be an annoying bitch, what with stealing my Utena-sama (Anthy stuck her tongue out at Wakaba at this), having that voice, and that complacent look that just begs you to smack her, but a murderer?"

"A mass murder, if you don't watch your mouth..." Anthy scowled.

"You? A murderer? HA!"

"She slept with the victor and lost her soul." Touga informed them all. "I saw her kill Shiori myself."

"She really did do that?" Nanami turned to her, apparently impressed. "I didn't know you had it in you Anthy. Congratulations. Maybe we can be friends after all."

Juri turned to Anthy "You actually killed her?" Juri grinned. "I don't know if I should slap you or kiss you."

Anthy grinned back. "I'd enjoy both."

Shiori looked lived "Hello! She killed me! As in, I'm dead!"

Wakaba shrugged. "Well Shiori, as I've heard, you were voted "Evilest creature in Ohtori" for every year you've gone here..."

Anthy nodded. "Yeah, my brother was so disappointed."

"But, Juri, at least you?" Shiori turned back to her.

Juri shrugged. "Chu Chu can make a girl forget most of her problems."

Everybody sweatdropped at this. Even Anthy looked a little uncomfortable.

Shiori looked outraged. "I don't believe this! You got over me! But wait... If you did, then that means nothing is anchoring me here..." Shiori then burst into flame. "Oh noooo!" She wailed "Forget I said that! For-"
With a "FOMP" she was gone, only a few ashes where she was standing.

"I think we all know where she's gone!" Anthy laughed.

"Yeah..." Touga nodded his head. "Anyway, we wanted Miki not to kill himself."

"The rest of you didn't anyway!" Miki was now back on the balcony, having been forgotten. "Touga made me his bitch, Anthy's sleeping with Utena, my stopwatch is now seen as something to mock, what left is there for me in life?"

Everybody seemed to think about this for a second. Wakaba spoke up first. "There is the small but real chance Juri will turn to men for solace and you'll just happen to be the one conveniently near..." Juri laughed at this. "Shut up!" Wakaba hissed at her. "You think of something better!"

"I don't love Juri, even if she is damn fun to look at in the shower! I love Anthy!" Fortunately for Miki, nobody was really listening to him, as they were trying to think of how to save him.

"You've got the highest grades in the school!" Yuuko supplied.

Miki shrugged. "What's a big number mean? Only that other people feel bad."

"Your sister loves you!" Whined Kozue.

"Maybe if I die you'll go and get yourself a boyfriend... or girlfriend... that isn't a relative, like a normal person. That incest thing is sick!" Both Nanami and Anthy looked as if they were going to say something in response to this, but then stopped.

"The rose bride lost her soul, and now has the inhibitions of a mink on Spanish fly, and you haven't been able to take advantage of that fact!" Touga inserted.

"Good point!" Noted Anthy. "C'mon Miki! Lemme see your shining thing!" There were groans at this overused cliché.

"Yes, but I want Anthy for myself! I can't have her for myself now! And let's face it, we all know she'll prefer Utena, who, I'm betting now, is gonna want Anthy all for herself!"

"Hey!" Shouted Utena at this, her face completely red. "What do you think I am? I don't even remember last night!"

"I can!" Anthy was smiling, and holding up a small cassette. "Apparently we made a video!"

Aiko, Yuuko and Keiko were now in front of her, visions of yen reflected in their eyes. "Anthy, baby..." Keiko draped an arm around the girl. "Let's talk distribution rights..."

Utena turned to the balcony. "Hey Miki, wanna make this a double suicide?" But Miki was gone.

He was now kowtowing before Anthy. "What do you want? I'll pay anything! ANYTHING!"

Yuuko eyed Miki. "You know, I think he has voyeur tendencies..."

Anthy seemed to be thinking for a second. "Well... Tell you what Miki, I'll give it to you if you promise not to kill yourself..."

"Definitely!"

"Okay..."

"NO!" Keiko, Aiko, and Yuuko shouted as one. "GIVE IT TO US! WE'LL MAKE YOU MONEY!"

"Hmmm... I like money... And letting Miki die would be an evil thing to do..." Anthy mused to herself. "No, I can't allow Miki to die before tainting him. Sorry girls."

She tossed the tape to Miki, who squealed in delight as if he had just found another stopwatch.

"Quickly!" Aiko shouted. "With the money we could make with that, we'd never have to work for that bitch Nanami again!"

"Hey!" Nanami shouted. But the three had already went off in hot pursuit of Miki, who was already bounding toward the elevator. He was, of course, gone before he even reached it, and the elevator was, of course, already moving down under it's own power. The girls, naturally, were all gone too.

Juri cocked her head, and thought for a moment. "You know, that is strange..."

Anthy waved a hand in dismissal. "My brother has something to do with it, I'm sure."

"Yes..." Touga's frantic look returned. "Getting back to Himemiya, she's evil now!" He pointed at Utena. "Don't you know that you can't let her have a moment of true happiness?"

Utena blushed, but got defensive "What the hell, like she's some kinda vampire?"

Touga eyes went wide "Hmm... think we should stake her in the heart? A little messy, but if it stops her..."

Utena bristled. "You'll do no such thing!" she placed herself in front of Anthy. Her eyes went wide as she was grabbed from behind around the waist.

Anthy nuzzled Utena's cheek, nibbling on her left ear. "That's right Utena! You'll protect me from that carrot top, and then I'll attend to you!"

Utena's body went white from the head down. Her eyes slowly rolled back to look at Anthy, then back to Touga. "Your serious, aren't you?"

Everybody else was looking whiter too. Except Wakaba, who looked indignant. "Get yer hands off my Utena-sama, you soulless bitch!" She stopped, and grinned. "I always wanted to say that to her..."

"I think Utena is paralyzed." Kozue observed.

Kozue had stated the obvious. Still white, Utena was completely still, not even blinking. Anthy didn't seem to notice this, as she continued cuddling and fondling, whispering things to Utena that would make Larry Flint blush.

"And then I'll get a jar of peanut butter, a medical scalpel, 3 metal rings, super-glue, and a cat and..."

What she said next shocked Utena out of her stupor. Not surprising really. Even Kozue was looking nauseous.

"That is just wrong..." Touga commented, his face a little green.

Utena broke free from Anthy and backed away. "You're not human!" She shouted fearfully. "Nothing of this planet could conceive of that!"

"Actually," Akio interjected. "That can be kind of fun. She hasn't even got to the really nasty things yet..."

"Hey, where'd you come from?" Wakaba asked the dean.

Akio shrugged. "I took the elevator."

"All your base are belong to us!" Noted Anthy, smiling.

"What?" Utena blinked.

"A required AYBABTU plug in by the author." Kozue whispered to her. Utena nodded.

Akio stared at Anthy. "I never thought anybody could actually give you a moment of perfect happiness again. I mean, the last time you lost your soul, it took me, 3 girls, 4 guys, and 2 elephants! Not to mention all that frying dough!" He turned to Utena. "What the hell did you do with her?"

"Miki might let you borrow the video if you want to know, brother." Anthy smiled.

"As interesting as that would be, more important things are at stake..." Akio's voice was solemn. "The trick we used to get her soul back in the first time is no longer available to us. Turkey stuffing is just to expensive." He paused, as if waiting for questions. Nobody asked any, due to the large drops of liquid weighing their heads down. "Therefore..."

Akio pulled out his sword and pointed it at Anthy. "We must kill the rose bride!"

To be continued...

Next episode
Utena: Oh who cares. Nobody even remembers the author, let alone has faith in him anymore.
Anthy: But now that he has school finished, he can actually work on things! He already started on scream 6!
Utena: I suppose...
Anthy: I'm just pissed the author is trying to kill me off! After all I've done for him!
Utena: What the hell have you done for him?
Anthy: I turned him into a hopeless pervert!
Utena: You just enhanced that. He was perverse long before us.
Anthy: Maybe, but I gave him a medium! Ambiguously lesbian anime chicks!
Utena: You deserve to die you know that?
Anthy: Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku!
Utena: We didn't' even talk about the next episode!
Anthy: Then I guess they'll have to read the next one, won't they?
Utena: Assuming it's ever written... Wasn't this supposed to be the last one?
Anthy: Pats Utena on head Utena, the author says a lot of things...

I will people! I will, swear to god! You just watch!