TITLE- Hold On To Me
AUTHOR- candy aka candylynn
E-MAIL ME- darksydelady@aol.com
RATING- G
CLASSIFICATION- Song Fic
DISCLAIMER-I don't own anyone in the story.
NOTES- "Anytime You Need A Friend" By Mariah Carey was used in this fic. Please don't sue me, I am a fan and was inspired.


******************

Ororo enjoyed the blessful peace and serenity of her garden, more now than ever. So much had gone wrong recently, it was nice to take this moment and make it her's and her's alone. Unfortunately, she knows of one person who can never seem to find the peace he so desperately seeks. Logan. Wolverine.

Determination in her stride, Ororo Munroe entered the empty kitchen and picked up the cordless. Pressing the memory key then the number six, she impatiently listened to computerized tones sing out the number that was programed into the phone. Three soft rings later..."Jubes here, what's up?"

******************
If you're lonely
And need a friend
And troubles seems like
They never end
Just remeber to keep the faith
And love will be there to light the way
******************

By nightfall, he'd come home, but for a man like Logan home rarely felt welcoming. But something tugged at his mind when he was at Harry's, something telling him to return here and now. Most of the lights were off, there was hardly a sound. But there was a scent, a happy lovely aroma that tickled his nose and tugged at happier memories. Just as he was about to embrace the joy the scent ignited in him, the demons returned. And even the beauty dancing in his nose, horridly twisted his soul with guilt. All the pain he'd caused her, all the trouble he brought into her life. Another regret for him to pile with the rest. She may have been the largest regret of them all, or at least her being caught up in the firestorm he called an existance.

She could hear the front door open then slam shut. She'd fought sleep for the better part of an hour. He needed her, and she needed to be here for him. A beautiful catch 22. She waited for the familiar stomp of his boots against the steps as he climbed them. Instead, she could hear the chilling sound of him walking away. But where? She was 'here', she knew he could smell her, so why was he not coming to her?

******************
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
******************

He came to rest on a bench in Storm's well kept garden. The roses were in bloom, white roses. Innocent. Unlike him. He was a murder, a killer, an animal trying to be a man. He had taken another life recently, a young man so dedicated to Magneto's insane cause he literally sacrificed his own young life for that of his leaders by throwing himself between the madman and Logan during their fight. The sound of his screaming echoed in Logan's mind repeatedly; it was twisted and forced louder. It condemned him, called him what the others were too polite to...a monster, an animalistic killer.

From the kitchen door, Jubilee could see him sitting in the darkness of garden. Her heart twisted into knots, he was hurting and it was killing her. She had heard about the boy, about how he saved Magneto by accepting Logan's cold adamantium claw into his heart instead of letting Magneto take the hit. Jubilee could only image the swirling hurricane of guilt and past crimes he'd committeed ripping his soul assunder.

******************
When the shadows are closing in
And your spirit diminishing
Just remember you're not alone
And love will be there
To guide you home
******************

The bloody battlefield of his mind was hazing. Self hate and loathing, boiled red hot just under his skin. A slow rumble of a growl was growing in his throat. He was unworthy to breath but too damned strong to die. He protected himself via instincts he couldn't control let alone understand. Why couldn't he just die? He would n'tbe able to hurt another soul in that specially held spot in hell that he knew he had earned over the years.

Jubilee could feel him shifting towards the darkness, he was losing his battle with his demons. Again. She stepped out of the door and slowly walked through the garden. She captured a white rose and yanked it free from the bush, cutting her finger on a throne in the process.

As she neared him, she wasn't sure what worried her more, the fact that he was so close to feral or the he couldn't smell her approaching even with blood trickling down her fingertips.

******************
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
******************

He could feel a hand, small and gentle, resting on his shoulder. He snapped his head around ready to face his attacker. SKINKT!!! He was to his feet and breathing down her neck in a matter of a few split seconds. She didn't flinch, not one muscle, she never had been nor would she ever be afraid of him. She allowed the rose to fall between them and come to rest on the ground at his feet.

He looked into her deep blue eyes and got lost in them for a second. Only a second. But in that second he saw every ounce of love and caring Jubilation Lee had from him. In that second he saw his own eyes reflected back in her's, they held the same love...the same caring.

He backed away with a low sneering growl, claws still extended, face still twisted with rage. He sat back down, allowing his claws to cross between his legs in the shape of an X. He couldn't believe what he'd almost done to her, had she been a hair closer she'd be wearing his claws in her gut right now. She hugged his shoulders tight and kissed him on the top of his mussed hair. He shuttered with guilt as she showered him with kindness he knew he didn't deserve.

"Go. Away." Was all he dare say to her.

"No." was her only response.

******************
If you just believe in me
I will love you endlessly
Take my hand
Take me into your heart
I'll be there forever baby
I won't let go
I'll never let go
******************

She moved around to stand in front of him. With a feather's touch, she placed one slender finger under his chin. Without any effort, she pulled his lowered head upwards. Their eyes meant, the reflected moonlight made her sphire blue eyes dance and sparkle, reminding him of her powers. But inside their depths he could see her concern, her longing to comfort him, her undying need to make his world right. But didn't she know that in his world she was the 'right', she was the 'perfect'?

His demons yelled at him, "She deserves better than you." "You will only hurt her." "Push her away." But there was one voice, it was soft and kind, like her's. It said in a whisper, "Believe in this, believe in me, because I have always believed in you. Trust me, because I trust you. Let me love you, the way you love me."

An instinct he never knew he had overwhelmed him, his instinct...no his want, his demand for her. She wasn't his friend, he didn't love her with all his heart and soul. She was his soul, she was his heart, she was his very breath. Beyond friend, beyond daughter, beyond lover. She had become his very being.

He reached for her, roughly pulling her into a tight embrace. She slipped onto his lap and was encircled by his trembling arms. She wasn't afraid or shocked only grateful. Grateful for the tears he was starting to shed, grateful to God that they had each other, grateful for Storm's call...and ever so grateful for him.

He clung to her like the lifeline that she was to him, like they were to each other. His demons cried out and yelled to him, but for the first time ever he found the strength to call them liars. He wasn't a beast, he was a man, he wasn't a murder, he had killed but only to protect those he loved. The boy was a horrible accident. No malice was in his heart only a deep regret. The regret is what seperated the man from the beast.

He buried his head into the gentle curve of her breast and cried tears he had penned up in his soul for as long as he could remember. Too long, even considering he'd lost most of his memories years ago. She stroked his soft wild hair, whispering 'let it outs' and 'I love yous'. It was all she could do, it was all she needed to do. She smiled and whispered in his sensitive ear....

******************
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
It's alright
It's alright
******************

"It's alright."