Tokyo Babylon is property of CLAMP, Shinshokan Comics, MOVIC, and Sony Music Entertainment Japan Inc. This is a non-profit work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended. Please do not repost without permission.

Lyrics and translation from Forever and Ever, by Luna Sea, copyright 1996

lordofmerentha@yahoo.com

TOKYO BABYLON
SPACES
Sumeragi Hokuto


She came home that night to find that something was different, though neither of them looked or sounded like something had gone wrong. But she knew.

She always knew.

The meal was a light one, whipped up in ten minutes and left simmering on the stove as Seishirou went to wash his hands. French bread, fresh from the oven, whipped potatoes, European style, and Chinese cut vegetables.

He looked up her. Green eyes meeting green.

"Hokuto-chan…"

Footsteps from the bathroom, a cheerful grin, innocent eyes.

"Let's eat. I'm starving."

[saa me wo tojite
so close your eyes]

Darkness covering the land like thick, liquid, black honey, trickling slowly through the air and crystallizing it, sealing secrets within secrets within secrets.

She couldn't sleep.

She always left her door open at night, feeling that if she closed it she was closing herself within her own suffocating womb, a coffin of a room. So she left it open. The kitchen was quiet and beyond she could hear the rustling of his sheets as he twisted in his sleep.

Or perhaps he could not sleep either.

Climbing down out of bed, bare feet padding on the cold tiles, she rapped silently on the screen.

"Subaru-kun?"

A sigh.

Concerned, she slid the screen open, hearing him thrash in the dark. "Subaru-kun, are you all right? Are you sick?"

"Go away."

The throaty whisper, from the far side of the room. She jolted, stopped.

"Su-Subaru?"

"Go away, neesan."

He never called her neesan.

[kodoku na yoru wa boku wo yowaku suru
loneliness in the night is making me weak]

The green eyes were luminous in the dark, like a cat's but larger, speaking of secrets.

"Go away…onegai."

His eyes, staring at her. Her eyes. The same.

"Ah." A sigh, barely whispered, a young tree bending in the wind, a slender strand of crystal humming with invisible waves.

Her own bed was an indistinguishable mound in the darkness but she couldn't sleep after she had crawled back into it, hearing the twisting from the bed in the darkened room, feeling his pain with her own heart, wondering and weeping.

Darkness.

[dream on yurusu nara aishite hoshii
dream on if a yearning for loving is forgiven]

"Ohayo."

He hadn't slept much last night, she knew. Neither had she, but she didn't have to work. She smiled cheerily at him and he managed to throw a tired smile back at her, eyes sliding half shut as he climbed up on the chair to accept his usual morning tea.

"I put a little sugar into it," she informed him, breezing by him to turn on the rice cooker, watching the steam of the teapot curl lazily into the cool morning air. "Should help keep you awake at least for the morning."

"Ah." A crooked grin, though the eyes did not smile. "Arigatou."

"Don't mention it, Subaru-kun." The tea set was shaped like cats too, a mother cat and her six kittens. She'd seen it in the window of a small knick-knack corner shop, heard it almost calling out to her with little mewling cat voices, and she had to get it. It wasn't that expensive. Really.

"You still have work today, right?" A nod. "Why don't we go for lunch? I'm going downtown, so I can meet you wherever you finish at about noon. How does that sound?"

"Ah…fine…"

"Or," she said, her voice sliding into the deep, sultry tone that she mimicked so easily, "if you're having lunch with someone…else, I could wait." Raising one eyebrow at him, striking a pose.

She'd never known one person's face could flicker through so many shades of red so quickly. "No! No! I, err, I mean-"

She almost collapsed from laughter. "Subaru-kun, I'm kidding. You know that."

He gulped down his tea. "I need to go now! I'll meet you at noon. The clinic?"

"Wonderful!" She pinched his cheek and was rewarded by his yelp of surprise. "Ja."

The door banged shut.

The teapot whistled again.

[so bright kagayaite shinjitsuzukete
the light shining so bright I will keep believing]

There was still some tea left at the bottom of the cup, and she hated letting good tea go to waste. Letting the last vestiges drip onto her waiting tongue, standing in the warm ray of sunlight, she pondered her options. There was always school, but she hadn't been for two weeks and her ex-boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend was sending her the notes, so she needn't bother. She'd cleaned the apartment yesterday, hanging out the rugs to dry in the sun and sprinkling the floor with the new lilac powder, which turned out not to smell nearly as lilac-y as the commercial and package had proclaimed. Such a disappointment. She wondered if she could take it back for a refund.

That left shopping.

Ah….she'd been shopping the day before, but one could always find new and innovative products. And they did need a new set of towels…

Laughing at nothing in particular, she swung the teakettle in a merry arc, pouring herself a steaming cup of tea before placing it gently back on the stove. The cat face smiled at her.

It was such a lovely morning.

[yozora ni tsunagareta hoshitachi no you ni
linked like the stars of the sky]

Downtown Tokyo. She moved like a wraith between the crowds of people, murmuring friendly pardons and flashing smiles at elderly passersby. Most of them smiled back. Sunrays bounced off the streets and the front glass windows, chasing each other in the invisible spaces above her head. She wondered what they said, when they caught each other.

Aimless wandering. What was there to buy? She picked out a nice fluffy set of towels, paying for them and taking the bag which the salesclerk handed her. Carefully folding the towels that had been stuffed inside. One by one. Hands caressing the material. They were not cat towels, for once, since Subaru would be using them too and he tolerated her odd habits often enough.

He tolerated a lot of things about her. She supposed that was endearing.

Quite endearing, her little brother.

The sunlight whispered to itself in the spaces around her again, and she cocked her head, listening. Flirting with sunshine?

[forever and ever itsu no hi mo
someday]

She usually didn't come to this district for shopping…the fashions were too straightforward and the clothing much too expensive, even for her. Subaru should be glad he had a sister who shopped for bargains. She could spot a bargain from a kilometer away, and these stores gave off that wealthy air of arrogance and pompous grandeur which warned her bargain senses that there was nothing of the kind to be had here.

Well, no harm in just looking.

Peeking in through the glass. Window shopping. Such a pity that red dress weren't adorned with feathers or beads or even the odd wing or two. It would look so much nicer that way. Oh…a green scarf. That would look good with one of the outfits she bought yesterday, but there had been a green scarf at the shop yesterday at about half the price. Definitely not.

She passed with a sigh, was about to turn the corner when something caught her eye and she stopped, drew back, curious.

Oh, how could she have not noticed it before? Hidden almost in the corner, such a marvelous dress. It was tucked away behind a flashy black-sequined evening gown and a simple silk red nightgown and a pair of silver stiletto heels, as if it were an afterthought, a way to fill extra space. Her hand moved to the glass and she pressed her nose to it, feeling it almost calling her.

It was simple yet beautiful, much simpler than what she usually wore, but with a certain flair that screamed defiance, difference. All shimmering material that reflected the lights and shadows off the glass, reflecting them back at her. Pale pink, like sakura petals…

[forever and ever kono omoi
this memory]

The tiny bells clinked when she opened the door to the shop, and the young salesclerk with the two pigtails and false smile bowed slightly as she entered, the breaths of the playing sunlight trailing after her.

"Ohayo gozaimasu! Beautiful day, isn't it?"

The salesclerk blinked. Clearly, not many of the store's customers held the same enthusiasm for shopping as she did. Pity.

"May I help you, ojousan?"

"How much is that pink dress in the window, please?"

The young woman blinked. "Pink dress? We don't have any pink dress in the window."

"Oh yes you do!" Cheerfully taking the woman's hand, pulling her over to the display. She could feel the woman's stunned surprise. She grinned wickedly.

"Oh…ah…that one?" The salesclerk sounded faint. "I'm…I'm not sure. Let me check, please."

The woman scurried off and she stared up at the dress, reaching out a hand to touch the satiny material, seeming to glow with its own inner light in the darkness of the corner space…

"The dress is 22800 yen," the clerk called from across the room. Afraid to come over by her again? She blinked. My, expensive.

She wouldn't buy. Of course not. She just wanted to…

"Any way I could try it on?"

The dress was soft against her skin, a layer of pale gossamer material above the satin floating in the wafts of current from the vent in the far wall. Twirling in the full-length mirror, gracefully, like a ballerina. The garment fell in graceful folds from her shoulders from twin thin silk straps, folds of satin draping slightly over her breasts and then continuing downwards in a straight skirt. So unlike what she liked to wear, yet…

[out from my chaos to grace]

It called her, like the tea set had.

She couldn't buy it. It was 22800 yen. Subaru would have a fit.

She twirled again, imagining herself wearing a pair of emerald heels, with a matching emerald purse and long emerald gloves, her hair done up in an emerald tie to match, the soft pink of the dress contrasting with vivid green, like her eyes.

Really, it was much too expensive. She fingered the material, feeling it caress her hand. She'd always wanted a satin dress. Her taste in fashion might be eccentric, but there had always been that longing in the back of her mind for that one dress, that one perfect dress, the dress that would transform her from a girl into a woman with one glance.

She had kimonos in the back of her closet somewhere, but those didn't count. Everyone wore kimonos.

Satin whispered against her ankles as she paraded across the dressing room and back, imagining her arm through the arm of a handsome man, a lover, perhaps. Maybe they'd sit under the moon, feeding each other sweets in the silver spaces of night, telling each other secrets that the rest of the world could never, ever know. And maybe then they'd make love in the sweet smelling hot sakura darkness, finally falling asleep in the pink light of dawn.

That was what the dress was.

The pale pink dress, like sakura petals.

[kono mune no oku fukaku
the mistaken depths of this heart]

"What's in the package?"

He was putting away instruments when she barged in, a half-wave and a broad smile, comfortable in his starched white doctor's coat. There was a parakeet in a cage above the hamster pen next to the door, and a dog with its leg in a splint gazed mournfully at her from the pen by the operating table.

"Oh…things," she said airily, giving a little twirl at the memory of the dress. She could still feel it floating around her. "How was work?"

"Fine, thank you." A clink as the box closed and he stripped off the plastic gloves, dropping them gingerly in the wastebasket. The faucet turned on.

"Subaru-kun's not here yet?"

"I was going to ask you that." Dripping hands enclosed in a white paper towel. "He was supposed to meet me here at noon."

She winked at him. "Double-date, hmm?"

He looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I asked him to lunch too." Cheerful grin. "I don't see much of my brother these days." She hopped up on the operating table, swinging her legs. There was a dirt stain on the hem of one of her socks. Brown on white.

If he had any objections to her sitting on the table, he didn't voice them, opening the cabinet and placing the instruments inside, shutting it neatly with a click. The cuckoo clock in the waiting room began to chirp.

The door opened.

"Seishirou-san? Oh! Hokuto-chan!"

She stuck out her tongue at him. He looked tired. There were dark circles under emerald eyes. "Forgotten about our date?"

Breathing hard, leaning against the door frame. Seishirou shrugged out of his lab coat.

"The job ran over. Gomen nasai!"

"I'm sure your sister forgives you." The coat found a home on the clothes rack by the sink. "Why don't you ask her what's in the shopping bag."

"Sei-chan!" Mock glare. He laughed.

[Close your eyes, open your mind, going back for a moment of time]

Back into the maddening crowds, swelling the streets to bursting. It was noon. Lunch time. Sour-looking businessmen, in drab suits clutching their rice boxes and chopsticks, pushing their way back to the office. Model-thin middle aged women with cigarettes between their fingers and too-red lipstick. The occasional punk teenagers with what looked like bad Jrock-ish fashion tendencies stuffing their hanbaagaas into their mouths and looking Jrock-ishly aloof. Seishirou pushed them along.

"Ramen?"

"Sounds fine."

The ramen shop was not too crowded and the lines were short. Pink silk flowers on the chipping fake wood table, in a plastic vase. She stabbed at her ramen with the chopsticks. Seishirou reached for the napkins.

"Anything new today, Subaru-kun?"

Mournful shake of the head. "This is pointless. If the family weren't so odd, I would just recommend them to the nearest hospital. This case isn't one I should be working on…"

"Odd?" Chopsticks paused halfway to her mouth.

"Not spiritually odd. If that was the problem, I'd only be too glad to take this on, but this has nothing to do with me at all." He pondered. "It seems to be a medical problem."

"Oh." The noodles were a tad bit too greasy. The water in her cup tasted like tap water. "Drop the case, then."

A sigh. "I can't…"

"Subaru-kun needs to learn to be less compassionate."

"Seishirou-san!"

A flirtatious smile. "Am I mistaken? What does your sister think?"

She stabbed the chopsticks in his direction, noodles flipping. "I think you need to learn to mind your own business, Sei-chan."

"Well, really. So defensive." Mildly taken aback. His eyes watched her with an odd gleam. The silk flowers in the plastic vase wavered slightly. The shop door opened and customers trickled in.

"Subaru-kun knows what's best for himself. Well, in matters of work, anyway. In other matters…that's a different story." She whapped him across the back of the head lightly, a sisterly pat. "Isn't that right?"

"Itai!"

He lounged in the tiny chair, a coiled cat. "Subaru-kun, you should stop working so hard."

"I'm not working hard!"

"Harder than you need to. What are you doing after lunch?"

Subaru blanched. "Uh…nothing?"

"Come walk with me." He leaned across the table, gaze intense. "We'll walk under the sakura trees. It will be romantic." Emphasis on the word.

Subaru blushed.

[take back the eternity and the hope you felt]

She smirked. "Ah…my cute little brother!" A gulp of water followed the rest of the ramen. "I think that's a WONDERFUL idea, Sei-chan!"

Thoughtful look. "You do? Actually, Subaru-kun, shouldn't you be studying? Maybe we should forego the walk, save it for another time."

"No! I mean, I don't have that much homework. Not really." Words tumbling out like the clumsy fall of pebbles skittering across wind-tossed lanes. "I mean-"

A low chuckle. "I'm teasing, Subaru-kun. We can let homework go for a day, can't we?"

Slow nodding. Subaru was never sure if he was being teased or not. She didn't blame him.

There were pink flowers on the plastic vase too, sketched in crude detail.

The door opened again, and the breeze blew little pieces of paper and cigarette butts inside the door. The vase of pink flowers tottered on the table. She watched in fascination.

"Excellent. Hokuto-chan, finished eating already?"

"Didn't have breakfast," she mumbled absently. The water was gone too. Had she really drunk it all that quickly?

A gleam across the glasses. "Ah."

The door blew open. Gust of smoke and grease scented wind. The vase toppled. Pink silk across the table, floating down towards the floor.

"Cheap things," Seishirou commented, picking up a flower. "They really should just leave off trying to decorate if they're going to be using things like this."

"Really."

[Even if it breaks me into pieces
I want to keep believing, keep feeling till it ceases]

The Romance piece was playing on the stereo again and she could see his slim form huddled in the oversized chair, arms wrapping around himself as if to ward off the chill of the night.

"You should be in bed."

"I know," he said. "I have to get up early tomorrow."

The violin played on, mournful strings vibrating in the spaces of her memory.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I told you, I'm fine. Stop worrying."

"I'm your sister." A light hand on his shoulder. "I need to worry about you."

He flinched, a tensing of the muscles almost imperceptible, as if brushing invisible cobwebs from her touch, then relaxed. A tentative hand reaching up to cover hers.

"Thank you, Hokuto-chan."

She bent over, kissed him on the forehead. "If you ever need to talk…about anything…you-"

"I know," he murmured. "I'm going to bed in a little bit."

"Oyasumi, Subaru-kun."

She left the sliding screen partly open. The strings drifted out after her, murmuring quiet secrets. His eyes were closed.

[the eternity deep in my heart]

Darkness glides over the land in stained-glass spaces, filling bit by bit blood red and ochre yellow and deep violent blue until at last there is nothing except for the long, soft fall of sakura petals tinting the emerald land.

[forever and ever kanau nara
if my dream comes true]

There were more people in the waiting room than usual, the animals restless.

"Sei-chan, I brought you some breakfast!"

Peeking in through the doorway. He was in his white coat and an operating apron, stethoscope around his neck, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. "I'm about to operate, Hokuto-chan. Could you put it in the refrigerator? I'll be out in half an hour."

She fumbled in her pocket for the key, slipped upstairs and into the small kitchen, opening the refrigerator. It was bare. No wonder he didn't like to spend any time at home. There was nothing to eat. She plunked the box of rice and the chilled tea into the empty space. It looked lonely.

He'd gotten a new sofa the other day. It was black, made of leathery velvet material and it felt so soft. She sat down gingerly, then bounced a few times. It was springy, too. She wondered if there was anything on television. Stretching out on the couch, listening to the buzzing of the televised voices in the background, like bumblebees buzzing around her head.

Blood-red eyes, an eagle's eyes, watching her. Listening. Waiting.

[if we surrender, we go under]

"Hokuto-chan? Wake up."

She yelped. Light across glasses, friendly eyes and smile. "Did you fall asleep watching television?"

There were no blood-red eyes after all. She blinked, yawned. "I guess so…your food is in the refrigerator. Really, Sei-chan! You need to go shopping more often!"

He shrugged. "I just eat out. It's easier."

"Mou!"

The sound of the microwave. "Thank you for bringing me food."

"Ah. Are your patients just waiting downstairs?"

"Patients?"

"The ones in the waiting room."

He chuckled. "Hokuto-chan, that was hours ago."

The clock read eleven twenty-six. She must have slept longer than she realized. But the couch was so comfortable…

"I suppose." How strange. "Oh! I have to get going!"

He caught her arm. "No lunch today?"

"I have homework…English test tomorrow and two papers due. Not today!" Slipping on her shoes at the doormat, she paused. "Oh…how was your date in the park yesterday with my brother?"

The laugh was a happy one. "It went perfectly, thank you. Subaru-kun and I are a perfect match, of course."

"Of course!" She grinned at him, standing with her hand reaching out for the doorknob. The smile fading.

He was watching her. The gaze was unreadable behind the glasses.

"Seishirou."

He didn't answer.

Her heels clacked loudly down the stairs to the clinic. They were new, a bargain along with the butterfly scarf and bright green dress that matched her eyes.

[even if it breaks me into pieces]

She was diagramming sentences when she heard him come in through the door, taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket up.

"Subaru-kun?"

"I'm home! What are you doing?" A brief flicker of distaste as he caught sight of her paper. "Oh. Homework."

She poked him in the stomach. He was wearing the red shirt and matching scarf and gloves she had bought him. "Shouldn't you be doing some of this too?" Waving the paper in his face.

"Ack!"

He came over to join her with his work, pencil making scratching noises on the paper. He was doing math.

"I'm going to try a preliminary tonight, I think."

She made a noise of agreement, frowning. She hated diagramming. "This case is taking longer than your other ones, isn't it?"

A sigh. "I don't know why…I don't know why I'm taking it."

"You know what's best, Subaru-kun." She smiled at him. He was so kind. It made her heart break. "I know you do."

A dipping of thick lashes over emerald eyes.

"I…yes."

She hated diagramming. Such a waste of time.

[so remember that
body, soul, mind, blood, tears]

She'd promised she wouldn't bother him, but she never said she wouldn't peek in to see how he was doing. He didn't wear his robes tonight. She supposed that wasn't quite necessary, for a preliminary. He wasn't even sure if there he needed to do one, he had said. So many blank spaces in the equation.

Subaru was kneeling on the floor, breathing even, eyes closed. She focused on him, silent in the doorway, waiting for the crackle of power that would mean he was grasping for the onmyouji blood that lay within both of them, the source of which only he had been able to tame.

Sumeragi.

He moved, slightly. Hair fanned across his forehead in an invisible wind. Eyelashes fluttered.

"Om."

One slim hand reaching out slightly to grasp the empty air, bringing it back to himself.

"Om vajra dharma."

She felt the surge of power.

His eyes snapped open. Brilliant green.

"Om vajra dharma kiri shawa!"

She heard the scream but it did not echo, simply died away into dead air as the link snapped suddenly, and he had fallen to the ground, one arm supporting himself as he breathed harshly, sweating.

"Subaru!"

[dreams, love, pain, and joy
all so precious, forever and ever]

"I'm all right." Taking her helping hand. "That just startled me, that's all."

"There was something there."

He gave her a searching glance. "You felt it too? Yes…strange. There was definitely something there, but it's all so confusing…."

"Here, let me get you water." His face was white, pale and sickly, beads of sweat matting his hair and trickling down his neck. She let him lean against the wall and trotted out to the kitchen.

The doorbell rang.

"Just a minute!" She handed him the water, and he took it with his eyes closed, gulping it down.

"Sei-chan!"

She let him in, taking his coat. Seishirou stepped into the apartment and stopped, eyes sharp. "Subaru working again?"

"He did a preliminary exorcism tonight. There's definitely something to be exorcised, that's for sure."

"Oh?" One eyebrow lifted. "Well. I hope it gets taken care of. I brought you some cakes from the corner store."

"Subaru-kun! Guess who's here!"

[tonight tabidatou hikari no naka e
tonight we are traveling into the light]

The piece had been repeating over and over for hours on the stereo when she finally stepped out of the shower and finished diagramming the last few sentences. Strings, trembling in the air. Violins.

She put the papers away neatly in her folder and turned out the light, stepping out of the kitchen. The light in the study was dim and the door was open. She could hear soft voices from inside.

Eavesdropping was bad.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, the small black head in the big chair and the tall, lean form on the couch, holding quiet conversation. Idle chat? Neither of them were the type to engage in idle chat. The shadow that was her brother leaned forward, gesturing, and there was a low laugh.

Silence, then Seishirou murmured something. She saw him get up, moving like a fluid night wraith, making no sound. Subaru bowed his head. A hand rested on his hair.

She left them, gliding across the hallway to her own room. Undressing and pulling the wrapped package out of the shopping bag, feeling the fall of silk across naked flesh. The smell of the dress was a perfume of flowers. On a whim, she slid the dress over her head, feeling the satin cling to her skin once again.

The sound of strings drifted in ever so softly, and she raised one arm, took a step back. Imagining arms around her as she danced, dancing in the moonlight to the sound of romance and the drifting tumble of sakura petals.

[aa, kono melody wa kitto eien sa
ah, this melody is surely eternal]

Sakura petals in the heady sakura-filled dark woman spaces, sakura-pink satin draping the curves of a woman's body and the rise and fall of voices from the open doorway with the rise and fall of the orchestra, like graceful flowers fluttering down towards the secret earth.