Ch.4: Kari

It had been an hour. An hour that rang so stolidly in this mind of mine, I could
hardly remember a time when this did not come to my mind, every time I thought of this.
Pressed against Takeru, I could only sob, but when he stirred, all eyes were riveted on him,
his figure that coughed and spluttered as only my brother, the most soccer-loving boy in the
world (even more than Davis) hacked and coughed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe
rush forward and gently ease him into a better position. His eyes were closed, clenched
tight, but when they opened, the brown was unfocused, and he wobbled about in the bed for a
moment before he looked up. His eyes were bleary, but he could make out our heights and our
faces, even after all these years of being apart. It hadn't come as a surprise, now that
our leader was down, that we would gather around and prevent him from getting any more hurt.
He was our soul, the main part of us, and we couldn't just let him go like that. He was US,
and whatever represented us, and just as he was our little gang's banner, we had to keep it
proudly raised, just like we always had.

But now, as he looked at us, from one face to the other, scanning over Davis and
Izzy and Sora in the chair and Joe and Cody, he came to the very end of the line around his
bed, and his eyes teared up, and suddenly sharp coughs racked his frame again. It was true,
he had lost a lot of blood from the cut on his arm...but this, this was too much. As Joe
steadied him, I reached out and gently touched my brother's shoulder, and let my mind sink
into this. I watched as the rest of the crowd watched me carefully, knowing what I was
doing, but not stopping me. Before I closed my eyes, I saw Joe nod at me, and then I was in
his mind.

'Nii-san, are you there?, I called out.

Go away.

'Nii-san, what's the matter?

Go away.

No!

Abruptly I was forcefully pushed out of his mind, and I opened my eyes, my mind
spinning. Takeru laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and we all watched as slowly his
eyes opened, to focus on the material of the white blanket, knitted and spun in front of
him. We waited, it seemed, for the longest time we had ever waited in such silence, a
silence that stuck to our bones, just from the pure emptiness of it. I didn't move.
Neither did anyone else. It was like if Time had imprisoned us all in a moment, and we
weren't able to move. The clock on the wall ticked endlessly, my mind pulsating with the
rhythm, my heart empty as the sound echoed off its chambers, and I felt utterly alone, a
part of me, my heart, went out to that figure on the stark white bed, looking at the sheets
in a pretense of fascination.

He raised his head. "Matt", he croaked, his throat dry. "Doko wa Matt?"

No one answered, just silence. Our eyes filled with slow recognition of the name,
and showed sympathy as he searched all of our faces for a clue, a hint of what might have
happened, but as he searched our carefully blanked faces, he found nothing, and as he
searched for the third time, he gave up, and looked down at the blanket again. Nothing was
said, no said exchanges were made, all eyes were on my brother.

Suddenly his head snapped up, as well as his anger, and his voice richoetted off the
walls as he shouted at us. "Why don't you people answer me, dammit!"

Nothing was said, still. Silence was quiet, for a moment, then rose again thickly
to wrap us all in its smothering embrace.

Then it was like as if a dam had broken, the dam of time, the last barrier between
it and resoluteness, a frightening prospect that all lead to one last thing: Matt was gone.
My heart went out to Tai as he sobbed into his hands, and suddenly everyone was crowding
around the little bed, and hugs were exchanged, crying and tears were soaking through shirts
and onto the floor, people rocked back and forth, dizzy with the last realization. It was
if all the world had lost its color, its attractive luster at that moment in time. The
world was dead to us, and soon it was if a black void had been poured into that place we
called a heart; we had the clearest of the clear realizations, and we accepted it, tears in
our eyes, but there was always hope, somewhere out there, the faint glimmer of life that
still sparked our lives, leading and encouraging us on. And it came to us, from its named
messenger himself.

"My 'nii-san's not dead", Takeru said, standing tall, eyes dry. To all of us, it
seemed as if he had grown taller, his posture straight, a knight that had come through the
darkness to save us all. For that split second, we all adored him, we all wanted a piece of
that confidence, that sureness, without a doubt we knew now, even in our dark and strange
hearts that had been twisted in so many scarring battles that we were torn apart, friends
lost, hurt, and losing all sense of direction in life but to fight and survive...but later
we had found that living had no use, but that was when all of us realized that we had ties,
now. We had ties with each other, to help each other, to not ever be weary enough to not
help a friend. You always had time, you always had energy for a friend. You had to try to
be a friend, a true one. And that was exactly what T.K. was; he was Hope himself, a winged
messenger from the heavens like Hermes in Greek mythology, sent down to help us. We were
grateful, all of us. We all looked back on the figure on the bed, awaiting orders, even in
his state. My brother was still the leader, despite his injuries, and he could still think,
and he would do so, to help us, to help Matt, or condemn him. He would decide.

Tai looked imploringly up at T.K., hope lingering for no more than a moment on his
features. "You think he's alive?"

T.K. was temporarily taken aback by the question, but he hardened his resolve, and
answered, "There's no proof that he's dead."

Then it happened, so fast, but it seemed like Time had stopped her hands again.
Tai's face looked so bright for a second, so incredibly hopeful, so much like the
inquisitive child he was once that I almost smiled at such an innocent gesture. Tai's face
then broke out into a slow smile, and all of us savored the few seconds that it was there,
and it seemed to last forever, before it reached his eyes and stayed there, the hope and
wonder twinkling once again in his eyes. He was my brother, Tai Kamiya, and nothing could
keep him unhappy for long. Tai had left all of us for New York, but because of Matt, he had
been brought back. I guess we all had Matt to thank him for that. It was a gift, and we
had cherished it, begging him to stay. And he had taken it up, telling his company if he
could get referred to the company's location in Japan. The company had granted the request,
having just opened its branch in downtown Tokyo with all its busybody-looking pedestrians. My brother had STAYED, but I could tell that just our friendship wasn't enough to make him stay.

It was Matt's that made him stay. Once in half a year, Matt came over, once during
summer, once during Christmas, just to say "Hi" and tell us everything he had learned in the
Digital World. In turn, we would tell him all the news that had happened here, including
everything embarrassing, everything serious and sad, and anything, everything, nothing at
all. He took it all in, and for once, we could tell he was happy. He had only visited us
once, and this had been his first summer visit. There were obviously no classes, so he was
glad to join on our picnics. He had brought us closer by our constant wondering on what was
going on in there. It had been Christmas when Gabumon had stumbled up on Cody's doorstep.

Matt was devastated, when he visited for Christmas and found out that Gabumon had
died. But according to him, he hadn't gone to the village to reclaim him. He trusted
Gabumon to find him. Once, on the subject, he had said, "Gabumon has a life to live as
well. I can't be around forever, so he just has to live some of his life first. He
deserves it, after all." All of us agreed, once he was out of earshot, that he was crazy,
but we left him to his own premises, his own decisions. We did not own either Yamato or
Gabumon or even remotely had such a bond, so we all decided to leave the matter be, and let
the rope go slack. And now, we found that we SHOULD have done something, just maybe
SOMETHING, and Matt might still've been in our ranks...but it was too late now. The hands
of Time and Fate had turned, and there was nothing we could do about it now. Matt was gone,
and we had come to terms with that. Now, only one question remained, one that 'nii-san
would decide, something we might suggest and try to influence, but the decision wasn't ours.
It was out of our hands.

My brother looked unsure. Softly Yolei's voice lifted from the rest of the sounds,
and her voice was more soothing than anything I had heard. It calmed all of us immediately,
and all of us turned to him when she was done speaking. Her suggestion was simple: "What
happened while you were on the roof?"

That was surely something that all of us, even Tai, was puzzled about. But when
Yolei said this, his eyes glazed over a little as he searched his mind for something. When
he shook his head wearily, not remembering, Yolei told him to start from when he thought he
remembered something, even days or weeks before. He thought about the comment for a moment,
then nodded his head in accordance and cleared his throat. Joe handed him the glass of
water delicately, and even balanced it for Tai to drink from in his hand. I could tell that
'nii-san didn't like that, but it was an extra precaution, taken up by Joe. There was
nothing he could to about it. The doctor knew best, after all. And Joe was the doctor.

"Matt was out, if I recall, that day...how many days has it been?" He looked
straight at me when he asked. I had no choice but to tell him. I held up my hand in the
shape of an "O". He looked surprised; he was probably expecting it to be a week or so.
That's the way it usually happened in movies, and movies had a large influence in everyone.

"Well, then, Matt was out today in the afternoon, saying that he wanted to check out
how his band members, even after they disbanded, were." It had been only right to tell
them, they had seen a Digimon before, so they knew what it was all about. Matt had no
choice but to tell them why he was standing up front, angry fisted and lips tight with
anger, shouting up at a gigantic monster shouting, "You ruined my concert!" without a trace
of fear because he had a striped blue wolf-looking creature on his right. It had been a
shock to the remaining 3 of them, but they had digested the information, as well as the
later information that he was going to spend the rest of the life in the "world up in the
sky". That was about it, and sometimes we would see some of the band members at Matt's
demand, just to check on them. They treated us just what we were: just some of Matt's other
strange friends. We didn't mind, because we knew that we were strange already, and things
could get a lot stranger if we didn't get a grip on them.

"I just got up from a little catnap when I heard something on the roof. My digivice
started to grow a strange red color, the color that kinda alerted me that something was
happening, and it was happening close somewhere around. I heard the thumping again, and not
really thinking straight, I ran up the stairs to ask whoever was living upstairs to stop
thumping. But when I got up there, I realized it was the roof. You know, Yamato always
likes high places, so he chose the top of a 20-story apartment complex to live in. Well,
here I was, on the roof, and just in front of me, there was this man. He...I can't really
explain what he looked like, because I didn't see anything except for these 2 things you can
call 'eyes', except his were just points of light under a dark hood. He didn't even have a
hood on, just short hair, but the sun seemed to shine the wrong way and I couldn't see
anything. The guy didn't say anything, and I felt a dread of imposing doom, as T.K. would
describe it", he looked briefly at Takeru before he continued, "and he just plain started to
beat me up. And just when he'd resorted to stop using his fists and pulled out several
darts to throw at me, Matt appeared on the top step of the door to the roof." He looked
down for a moment, thinking, contemplating before his voice spoke up again, this time softer
and pained, as if it hurt him to say it. "Matt", he said slowly, "He had his digivice in
hand, and there was a sword coming from it...I never knew Matt took kendo lessons or any
self-defense lessons at all, ever, but he used that sword like a natural and hacked through
the air more than the guy, who was really fast. One moment he was here, blink, he's gone.
It was uncanny, but Matt still got him some good ones."

We were silent again, but this time the silence that hovered over us wasn't as
suffocating as it had been. We waited, and then felt sympathy as Tai spoke up again, his
voice just a notch above a whisper, his voice unreadable. "I saw that this guy, this
disappearing act, the guy was behind Matt, about to shove this dagger in his back, muttering
something about 'eliminating all obstacles' before I screamed, and the next thing I knew,
there was a dagger in my arm, straight through it, clear out the bone. Of course, it
shattered. Matt took one look at me and slowly took it out, then took his jacket and ripped
it into 2. I don't where he got that kinda strength, but I guess it had to have something
to do with the DigiWorld and that training he was receiving from the person, the person
staying at the Digital World as well. Don't remember her name, but I remember it started
with 'H', or something like that." He snapped back to the present, and then just looked
down again. "Well, Matt started to talk to this man. It turns out this man's an actual
'boss' of something, and they're trying to get to the powers inside of the crests. They
have digivices, an older version, but other than that, they had nothing. Since they sensed
the most power coming from me, and the most confidence, they just thought that it would
probably be in their interest to take me first."

"Gradually Matt talked the guy out of it, saying that I couldn't use my powers yet,
and didn't know how to control them, something like that. The sword in his hand just
disappeared, and I saw that the digivice was a D3, just like he had showed me and told me
earlier in New York. He took his digivice off, but kept the crest. The guy wanted it,
after all. But just before he left, Matt came over to me and just kinda looked at me, as if
studying me for the first time. Then he just gave a weak smile, and the guy put cuffs over
him like some old policeman, and the portal opened again and then you came and then
everything was happening so fast, my arm broken, you guys coming, and then I don't remember
anymore than trying to reach that portal, but just before, it closed...and Matt's gone...my
fault." He sobbed quietly into his hands, and it was all I could do to just sit on the edge
of the bed, holding him. He was my 'nii-san, the strongest person I'd ever seen, but even
the strong have weak points, and Matt was one of his.

It wasn't really a secret anymore, after both Tai and Matt told Izzy. The computer
technician dropped very un-subtle hints that luckily Tai avoided, having been in New York.
But I wondered how Matt could have lived through all that. The thing was, Tai was in love
with Matt, and Matt was in love with Tai, both were too stupid and too stubborn to admit it,
even if someone told it straight out, to their faces "YOU GUYS ARE JUST SO PATHETIC!!!".
They'd probably not even wonder what that comment meant; they were just simply clueless in
their affections for each other. But in the end, it seemed like a dead end. Tai was far,
far away in New York, didn't call, didn't send e-mails, just totally cut off from the rest
of us, while Matt, still in Japan and touring all over the world, knowing that Tai had no
time to view a concert in New York City, was still madly in love with him. He sometimes
would get a look in his eyes, the year before he left for the Digital World as a permanent
residence, and it was a sad look, the look of longing. He wanted to see Tai, but what if
Tai didn't want to see him. Finally, when his mind was made up, he went to New York, and
that was the end of that. Tai had asked to be transferred to the new branch here, and he
was the un-hired, unpaid translator of any unlucky American that happened to be visiting.

He was just so sweet. I wonder why my brother didn't take him while he had the
chance. Wasn't it all clear enough? We all thought it was. Even Sora didn't seem riled up
about it. She probably thought that she wouldn't fit in if there was a 3-way love triangle.
Better leave the matter alone. And as she sat there, in the chair that T.K. had propped up
for her, she seemed so lost and alone. My heart went out to her, she looked so sad. And I
knew that there was something that had to be done about this, and if I was the only one to
do it, so be it. I had to TRY, at the very least TRY to bring back those smiles back onto
those faces, so glum and sullen from lack of happiness. I had to find Matt, not just for
myself, for T.K. for Tai, or anyone. It was for Matt. He deserved to be looked for, after
winning my brother's affections for so long. It was still plain that Tai still had a very
apparent crush on him, though he covered it up very well. Everyone knew that Matt did, but
these days, they were just amiable. They weren't going for anything, just simply enjoying
each other's company. None of us expected anything to happen until Matt was away for about
one more half year. But that was now. Did my brother still love him? Of course. After
all, Matt had just saved his life, right?

Or had he just sent him spinning in the depths of crazed despair for a seemingly one
-sided love affair?

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \

Author's notes:
Hmm, the next fic I write will be a WeiB Kruez one. I don't want to write any more
Digimon for a little while, unless the whim takes me. It was just this chapter was left
unfinished, and I wanted to get it done, so I just went ahead and did it. And now, I need
to catch up on my sleep. Oyasumi, minna...

Andrea Weiling