Intense
Disclaimer: I now state I do not own any of the people mentioned in this fan fic (though I'm welcome to offers Brendan and Jason!) This is purely for entertainment.
Rating: If you're old enough to watch the show you can read this.
Author's note: Michael and Maria's thoughts during Independence Day..
Song: This fic was inspired by another Westlife song "Close". It's also on their album "Coast to Coast". Just call me the Queen of mush!
Across the miles, it's funny to me
How far you are but how near you seem to be
I could talk all night just to hear you breath
When I saw him standing outside my window I almost passed out. I was sure that I was just hallucinating, wishing for something that would never happen. I even downed some of that gross Grief Relief to convince myself he wasn't really there. But he was. He's always so emotionally distant, always trying to pretend that nothing in Roswell means anything to him. He looked like a little lost puppy standing outside in the rain, his usually spiky hair flattened to his head. I told myself that I wasn't going to be taken in. I told myself he was only trying to get in my pants. I told myself I could resist those sad eyes.
I lied.
I let him in. He was soaking wet but silent. I dried him off the best I could without his help. And then I saw him crying. The Michael Guerin I know shouts, stares, smirks and kisses me with such a fire that I used to think I needed a cold shower anytime he got within a 25 metre radius. Who am I kidding? Just seeing him makes my heartbeat quicken. But he never showed weakness. Any of my previous resolve completely crumbled as I wiped the tears off his face. What had made him so upset? I didn't want to ask. It didn't really matter anyway. Whatever had happened he was staying with me. I guided him into my bed and curled myself around him. It was the only thing I could think to do. And it felt right so I went with my instincts. I talked for a long time, trying to help him forget whatever had brought him to me. I told him that he didn't have to tell me, that it was all gonna be okay. I told him nothing was gonna hurt him while I was here and that I wasn't going anywhere. And this time I told the truth.
I could spend my life just living this dream
You're all I'll ever need
When me and Maria where together I used to dream about being welcomed into her bed. To be honest with myself, I never stopped. But when I found myself here, sex was the last thing on my mind. It was like I was watching her take care of me from above. I felt her drying me off and pulling at my shirt. I heard her talking to me about pneumonia or something but I could only concentrate on her face. She was so beautiful just looking at her helped me gain some inner peace. She was worried and it was clear that she was confused. I can't blame her. After avoiding her anywhere in public and only acknowledging how much she meant to me when there was no one else to see it, seeing me turn up at her window late at night must have been a bit of shock.
Her bed was warm and soft and carried her distinct scent. Kinda like strawberries. Whatever it was, it calmed me down along with her gentle voice and warm hands stroking my hair and arms. I didn't know when she pulled the covers over our bodies or at what time I fell asleep. I do know one thing though. I could spend my whole life in her arms, in her bed. As long as I have her, I have someone I want to love for the rest of my life life. Someone I want to be with for the rest of my life.
You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
Even though I felt utterly churned up inside, holding him gave me some kind of inner strength that I didn't know I had. It must have taken a lot of guts for him too come to me. To admit that he needed someone other than Max and Isabel. And the fact that he came to me not them. ME. It gives me a little bit of hope for us. That one night he'll come to me and decide to stay forever. He gives me so much that I don't think I'll ever to be able to let go. A pretty deep concept since we've only had one road trip, one beautiful first kiss, a week of making out anywhere, a healing ceremony, one hot dream, a slice of mud pie and a song that summed us up perfectly. It scares me that I've found someone I am totally crazy about and could imagine spending the rest of my life with while I'm so young. What if they go back home and leave us here? Would I be able to move on? Forget that I actually had everything that I wanted only for it to be snatched away?
When I'm in your arms, I need you to know
I've never been, never been
This close
I want to tell her that I'm grateful for what she's doing. I want to tell her that she's making me feel better just by holding me. I want to tell her that she is the first person I've ever let in. That she's the first and only person I'll ever love.
With all the loves I used to know
I kept my distance, I never let go
I've never been a girl with a lot of boys chasing after her. That's Liz's department. Sure I had the odd date but I had always been her wacky friend. Most people didn't look past her to notice me. Michael did. He watched Max fall for her and risk his life and that of his best friend and sister to save her. He thought I was gonna turn them in to the sheriff. But he trusts me now. He once told me, during one of our make out sessions in the backroom of the Crashdown, that Liz was pretty but he couldn't understand why Max was so gaga over her when I was standing right next to her. Those few words made me feel so special. It's typical of my luck to find my other half in an alien.
But in your arms I know I'm safe
'Cause I've never been held and I've never been kissed
in this way
I feel truly safe for the first time in my life. I can feel her breath against my neck and I can't think of anyplace else I'd rather be than right here. I never sleep through the night. I must have slept for a while at least because now she's asleep herself. I can tell by the way her chest rises and falls against my back, in and out. Even her breathing is beautiful. I need her with a passion I that I had no idea I had. She accepts me with no conditions. Granted she was a little scared of us at first but now she seems totally at ease with the situation. She trusts me enough to know I wouldn't hurt her. The way she's holding me tells me all I need to know. One arm's still clutching mine and the other is resting on the back of my neck. Her right leg's wrapped around my thighs, holding me to her even tighter. I can feel the stickiness that's binding our bodies together. It's a mixture of the rain and the heat our joined bodies are producing through the most innocent of touch.
To anybody watching it might look a little strange. I can just see Amy DeLuca's reaction. I don't think I'd be her favourite little wrestler if she knew that right now, I was in her daughter's bed, with her daughter practically laying on top of me. And I think she'd probably kill me if she knew that if I weren't so emotionally drained this embrace wouldn't be half so platonic. It'd be so far into hot and passionate territory, all you'd see would be the smoke coming of us. I better stop this train of thought before the physical evidence of my desire for her catches her attention and she kicks my butt out of this bed for trying to take advantage of her.
You're all I'll ever need, you're all I'll ever need
I've decided right here and now that nothings gonna keep me from looking after him. We need each other. As much as he denies he has any emotional entanglements in Roswell I know he's lying. He needs me and I need him.
You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
She fills me with everything I crave, everything I need to feel…I would say human but I think that's a bad choice of words. Even in the darkest depths of my despair I can still make cracks. She give's me strength mental and physical. At Athertons when she was near I got the vision, which led me to finding the room, which led to Isabel finding the necklace, which led to Liz finding River Dog, who told us about Nasedo and healed me when I was sick. None of that would have happened without her. During the ceremony to regain my balance she helped me fight my way back to the world. She gives me hope that I might have a home. Not on some far away planet but right here. Maybe Roswell, New Mexico isn't all bad after all.
When I'm in your arms, I need you to know
I've never been, never been
This close
I feel safe with him. I just wish I could tell him all the stuff that I keep inside. There's still a lot about him that I don't know. There's a heap of stuff that he doesn't know about me. But even so he might as well be glued to me because he's so close to my heart I don't think he's ever getting out.
Close enough to see it's true
Close enough to trust in you
Closer now than any words can say
I don't think a lot of people realise that I think as much as I do. I think about her, I think about home and what it's like there, I think about her. Did I mention I think about her? If Max only knew he'd say I was turning into him. She consumes me. I dream about her at night. There we are together. Sometimes we find a way home and her and Liz come back with us. Sometimes I dream that we're older and married and have children. I may play the part of the uncaring pig but I want the same thing as anybody else. A family, a home and someone I love so much it hurts. I know what I have with her is it. It's the only pure thing I have ever known. I trust her more than anyone including Max and Isabel. Their like me in one sense but completely different in another. Maria brings me to life. If I was guaranteed she was safe and nothing would hurt her I think I'd give up finding home. How Romeo and Juliet. Meet, fall madly in love in the space of a couple of days, bind ourselves to each other and then end up dying because of it. At least they were the same species. I know even if we're galaxies apart I'll have something to come back to even if I can't tell her exactly what she means to me. I think she already knows.
And when, when I'm in your arms, I need you to know
I've never been, I've never been
This close
You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I'm in your arms, I need you to know
I've never been, I've never been
This close
As I fall asleep again I really don't give a damn what tomorrow brings. I have tonight and so does she. Maybe we'll get lucky and have the rest of our lives. Maybe I'll find a way home and be gone tomorrow. But we still have tonight. I vaguely feel her kiss my neck again. I respond my lifting her hand to my lips and kissing it. She knows.
