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Violets are Blue,

Me no own so

You no sue!

WARNING: This author ate one bag of marshmallows, two bags of crisps, two Dairy milk bars, three cans of Coke and about twenty packets of Polos during the writing of this fanfiction.

FF.net are not responsible for the consequences…

Author's note: Hey People! I've started a new story now to continue my big brother parody, but as all of you know (if you've read ch.6) it's not really a gameshow anymore, as nobody's being voted off. Don't worry though; everything our stars do is still being broadcast by live TV to the whole world! If you haven't read "Big Brother My Way!" before, then I suggest you do (if ya click on my authorname it'll be in my profile) coz otherwise you probably won't get the plot.

I added a few more characters last time (Jack and Daniel from Stargate, Sirius from Harry Potter, Pikkoro from Dragonball, my friends Katie and Hannah, and of course, ME!) and as I got addicted to the anime programme, Gundam Wing over the half term, I decided to add a couple of characters from that too. Don't Groan! It's my fic and I can add whoever I want, anyway, they're cool, if you have any taste at all you'll like them. If you think I'm childish for liking Gundam Wing, then go and have a look at the Gundam Wing fanfic in the anime section, I'm sure you'll find plenty of writers on there who are way older than me. For all you non-Gundam fans (go get cable!) I thought I'd just quickly introduce the characters.

The series is about some kids in the army, in the future, when soldiers fight using Mobile suits (think Transformers but way cooler), which have taken over from the fighter planes and boats and stuff of today. Five of the best pilots (the kids) from the Alliance (that would be countries like Japan, America, Europe etc,) have been chosen to use five "Gundams" (like duh! A mobile suit made of Gundanium, whatever that is…) and the series is all about their fights for the space colonies, which are really big spaceships of people living just like they do on earth, but as earth is getting over populated they've moved out to the colonies. The pilots have to stop an organization called OZ, from taking control of the colonies. It's actually a pretty deep story, touching on things like is it treason for pacifists not to fight, or for a soldier to change sides if he doesn't believe in what he's fighting for. Oops, that took longer than I expected… anyway, to the characters.

Heero is the main character of the series; he is an excellent pilot and the leader of the team. He doesn't talk much. He says Omae o kourosu ('I will destroy you' in Japanese,) a lot. After he first met his girlfriend, Relena, he tried to kill her. Several times, (don't worry, I'll explain.) For some reason, he is the character everyone likes, though of course-

Duo is my absolutely positutely fave character ever, he's so Cooooll! (Starts praising Duo at her Duo shrine) He's like, the joker of the series and living proof of my motto for life "It's possible to be psychotically happy and morbid as hell at the same time." No he didn't say that, that's my line. He's kind of Goth, in a very funny way, (he wears black all the time and named his Gundam "Deathscythe") But constantly acts as if he's on a sugar high. ('Smile at your enemies, they'll think you're on some kind of mind altering substance' I got that from a fanfic called 'Everything I need to know in life, I learned from Duo!') I would love to go on forever about him, but *sigh* I do have to move on to the other characters…

Quatre is my next fave character of the series, and he's another pilot. He's rich. He's really sweet and came from a pacifist family, so he never kills anyone unless he has to, and even then he gets all upset about it and goes on for weeks, then usually he has to be looked after by Trowa, who is the oldest pilot (about 17) and people are always writing fics about the two of them being Yaoi/Slash together, which I think is WRONG WRONG WRONG, but don't get me started on slash writers, or we'll be here all day!

Trowa, Ummm… I really have nothing to say about this guy… He used to work in the circus throwing knifes but hardly ever smiles, which is weird for a clown. He talks less than Heero. Ummm, I really have nothing else to say.

Wufei is a Chinese Gundam pilot, which could account for his mistrust of the other pilots, in fact, though people are always writing fics where he falls in love, or actually has a social life, I don't think he trusts people in general. He has a tendency to scream INJUSTICE! At the top of his voice when about to launch an attack or whatever, and has a weakness complex, like when he was beaten in battle and refused to fight anymore as he thought he was a "weakling."

Relina is not a pilot; she's Heero's girlfriend, and also heir to the Sanc kingdom (so she's really rich), which is a pacifist state. Oh yeah, the thing where Heero kept trying to kill her the first few months after he met her was that he thought she was a spy or something coz she kept on following him around, (she was in lurve, the poor misguided thing!) She makes these really good speeches which I swear if we ever have a history essay to do on pacifism then I am gonna tape and copy down. As she's really really rich I've decided that the characters are gonna stay at her HUGE mansion for a while, which happens to be conveniently located on another desert island somewhere. I don't have any thing else to say on Relina except that people on FF.net are always dissing her for following Heero around and I don't think she deserves it.

Dorothy. (aka the wicked witch of the colonies) Dorko is here for entertainment purposes only. MY entertainment. If she offends you in any way, (her voice, THOSE eyebrows,) then ignore her, I promise she will be unconscious for most of the time anyway.

Oh yeah, if you want to see pics of Duo, or any of the GW gang, so you know who the hell I'm going on about, then go to http://ami.animenetwork.com/macey/pages/gwgallerygr1b.html it's a gallery of pics of the five pilots, and theres also links to galleries of just Duo. *^_^* Not that I'd know anything about them. Really! Why don't you believe me?

There, now that didn't take too long, did it? Now, to the story!

It starts…

It was a typical day at the Peacecraft household….

"DUO, YOU BAKA! INJUSTICE!" Wufei screamed, after being attacked by Duo and his latest find from the attics of Relina's mansion, a camera…

"Chill, Wuffie! I was just having some fun! If it makes you feel any better, I got a picture of Heero after he passed out last night over his laptop, and he was smiling in his slee…"

"OMAE O KOUROSU!!!" Heero shouted, followed by a long stream of Japanese curses. He exploded down the stairs after Duo, with his trusty gun fully loaded. Duo yelped, and ran outside to escape his now TWO possible assassins. As they followed Duo and ran out into the garden, the others could hear Wufei screaming "…and for the nine-thousandth time…DON'T CALL ME WUFFIE, YOU BAKA…!!"

In the silence that followed Duo's swift exit from the house, the rest of the 'sane' people let out a sigh of relief, and went about what they were doing before Duo's [fifth] assault of the evening.

Like I said, a typical day… (With this crowd!)

Suddenly the Doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" called Relina. "Hiya Jenni!" she said to the blonde girl standing in the doorway. "How's that fanfic going, you haven't put a new chapter up for ages!"

"Ummm… that's kind of what I'm here to talk to you about. I need a favour…"

Duo chose this moment to come thundering back into the house, "Help!! Jenni, they're after me, HELP!!!"

Jenni rolled her eyes. "Duo, whatever you could possibly have done, I'm sure you were asking for it!" she said with exaggerated patience, while trying to pry her boyfriend off her waist. (Well if Katie can have Draco…)

At this time, Relina, Quatre and Trowa were trying desperately to persuade Heero and Wufei not to kill Duo.

"Er…Hi?" said one of the other girls who had followed Jenni into the house.

"Oh, Sorry!" said Jenni. "These are my friends, Katie Rowe and Hannah Thomas." She waved vaguely in the direction of the two girls, who were looking warily at Duo, still hanging on to Jenni's waist.

"Jenni has friends?" asked Wuffie sarcastically. (oops, I mean Wufei!)

"You know, I don't like you very much." Said Jenni threateningly to Wuffie.

"Wuffie? What the f*ck's up with that?"

"Language!"

"F*ck your language! First it was Duo, and now you! I'm leaving you losers!"

Wuffie stormed out. (Oops I did it again! HEY! Who invited her?)

*ahem* anyway…

"Sorry about Wufei." Said Relina. "It's just that a certain Gundam pilot's been annoying him incredibly today, even more than usual!"

Jenni looked exasperatedly at Duo, who, now Wufei was gone, had let go of her waist and was tying Trowa's shoelaces together.

"I wonder who that could be."

Trowa, who had been lying on a sunbed by the pool, woke up when Duo threw a glass of cold water in his face. His expression went from one of surprise, to the all-too-familiar "I want to hurt Duo" expression. He got up quickly, and then tripped up, catching hold of Quatre, who was bringing some drinks out on a tray, and finally fell, pulling the bewildered Quatre with him, into the swimming pool.

When Trowa finally managed to regain his composure, standing dripping wet on the side of the pool, he looked around angrily for his tormentor.

Duo said nothing, but merely raised an arm and pointed innocently at Heero…

******

When the group were inside (after Trowa and Quatre had dried off,) everyone was eating around a long table. (Jenni, Hannah and Katie had been unable to refuse dinner by Relina's cooks.)

"So, Jenni, how's that TV show going?" asked Relina.

"AH. That was what I wanted to ask you about. You see, we've been having a few problems with the contestants…"

"Oh? How?"

"Well, the shows over now, but none of them wanted to leave. I decided to start a new show, but with no-one being kicked out, kind of like Real World (on MTV), where they come and go as they please. Problem is, there's only so much you can do on a desert island, and they're getting really bored. When the type of people I chose for my show get bored, they do strange things."

"Like what?" asked Quatre innocently.

"Y'know Draco Malfoy?"

"Yeah. The wizard boy." Said Trowa impatiently.

"He's started to wear leather. Constantly."

While everyone at the table cringed, Katie just smirked.

Duo pointed a finger in her direction. "I know somebody who doesn't mind!"

Relina coughed politely. "Oh Jenni, you poor thing! If there's anything I can do?"

"Actually, there is. I was wondering if maybe they could come stay here for a while? I know it's a lot to ask, but your estate is so big…"

"Oh of course!" Said Relina. "We'd love to have you!"

"Err… Relina?" said Heero. "I don't want to be rude or anything, but doesn't Jen and all her friends coming here mean that we'll be part of her fanfic too?"

"I don't see a problem with that Heero." Said Relina sternly.

"Awright!" Duo did a High five with Jenni. Katie's grin became wider…

"Oh Brilliant." Said Wuffie sarcastically. "This is gonna be great. Giving Jenni and that weakling the power over our lives, what we do, what we say…"

"I'm leaving home!" said Heero.

******

Meanwhile, in a small English town called East Leake, five girls were having a sleepover. (ie. The author's friends.)

"But I wanted to watch Angel!" moaned Ellie dramatically, her brown curls falling around her scowling face.

"Oh shut up Ellie!" said Kirsty meanly, using the exact tone of voice her twin sister, Rowena, usually used to talk to the poor girl.

"Yeah Ellie!" bullied Rowena. "WE want to watch Jenni's show!"

"Of course…" agreed Felicity. "We also want to see how Katie's getting on with Draco!"

The girls smirked.

The girls turned on the TV and saw, instead of the usual island scene, the gang inside of one of Relinas jet planes, which she had sent to carry the group to her mansion.

"I thought they were on an island?" asked Manisha, who was sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn.

"Naah," said Kirsty. "Jenni changed it, Again!"

:::Its not my fault I have a short attention span!!"::: shouted the irate author over the voice-over.

"I didn't know she was there" whispered Kirsty in the silence that followed Jenni's little outburst.

"HEY!" shouted Ellie. "You didn't tell me ANGEL was in it!" she scrambled towards the TV screen trying to get to her 'one true love'.

"Like, how sad?" said Kirsty spitefully.

"You can talk!" said Manisha. "You're a Westlife fan!"

"And proud of it girl!" announced Kirsty. "Right Ro? Uh…Rowena?"

No one answered her.

"Uhh..." said Kirsty. "Where's Rowena?"

"More to the point, where's that giant bag of Minstrels gone?" asked Felicity, worriedly.

"I dunno." Suddenly, Manesha's eyes went wide. "You don't think…"

All of a sudden, a burst of hysterical giggling came from the hallway outside the room. The four remaining girls looked at each other. Ellie spoke up first.

"Oh…my…god…"

(A/N- Based on a very-true, well-known fact between me and my friends: NEVER give Rowena too much sugar, or else…)

******

Back on Relina's island…

Everybody was sunbathing around the pool, enjoying the last moments of peace they would have before the big brother gang got there. Katy was smiling in her sleep, and occasionally murmuring "Draco," but everyone was trying really hard to ignore this. Hannah was sitting on a sunbed listening to Relina's extensive 'Beatles' collection, Wufei was dunking Trowa in the pool, Quatre was looking uncomfortable, wanting to help Trowa but not wanting to get wet again (self-preservation was winning), and Jenni, Relina, Duo and Heero were giggling in a corner, organising tonight's 'entertainment' for the guests. (You'll find out what that is later.)

Relina's butler came out in to the garden. "Miss Relina? You have a visitor."

Relina looked disappointed, as she was expecting the BB gang. " A visitor? Now who could that be?"

Heero looked scornfully at her. "Who is it usually. You know, just when she's not wanted?"

"Sounds like somebody who's already here." Said Wufei pointedly.

"I heard that!" said Jenni.

"Oh…Damn!" Said the usually refined Relina. "I just realised who it is."

"Who is it?" asked Jenni.

"Guess."

"Dorothy." Said Jenni, her eyes narrowing to evil slits.

The two girls walked off.

Heero started after them. Duo stopped him, with a wicked smile, "Let them have their fun."

About fifteen minutes later the girls came back carrying the unconscious Dorothy between them, and chucked her limp body into the swimming pool.

"Good riddance to an Evil Bitch!" cackled Relina. Heero stared wide-eyed at his girlfriend.

"I taught her that one," grinned Jenni.

While the other GW characters cheered at the disposal of Dorothy (for a while anyway, I have more torturing in mind for her yet!) Hannah's small voice could barely be heard over the din. "That's bad Karma ya know!"

******

Meanwhile, at the Nottingham Ice centre, where Westlife were preparing for a concert, a certain sugar-crazy fan-girl crept backstage…

******

Back on Relina's plane, chaos had ensued when Jack had recommended Draco turn back Harry potter (the frog) into a human, so that J.K.Rowling could go back to writing her fifth book, and therefore, please his beloved Hannah.

Draco of course, had not taken kindly to this suggestion, and was currently trying to force Jack's gun down his throat.

:::RIGHT! Break it up NOW! This is your captain speaking!:::

"That's not our captain, that's Jenni!" stated Charlotte.

:::Well would you like me to leave? There's certainly nobody else flying this damn plane!:::

"NO! Stay, I'm sorry!" apologised Charlotte. "But how-?"

:::I'm the author! I can be in two places at once!:::

Draco, who had dropped Jack, now satisfied that he wouldn't 'challenge' the 'Great Slytherin Prince' again, looked at Hermione, thinking longingly of Katie. "Yeah, wouldn't that be handy."

:::Ex-CUSE me! I think I was trying to talk to you! I was going to tell you we're coming in to land, so fasten your damn seatbelts! We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt now would we?:::

******

What exactly does Rowena plan on doing to Westlife?

What is "tonight's entertainment" that is planned for our stars?

"Will Jack ever get back at Draco?" Shouted Jack.

Will Relina regret her decision to let the stars stay at her estate?

How long will Dorothy stay unconscious for?

"Has Draco got a crush on Katie?" Called Katie, hopefully.

Will the characters ever shut up and let me get a word in edgeways?

Find out on the next episode of, Unreal World!!

(Can anyone think up a better title for me?)