Disclaimer: Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Me no own so
You no sue!
WARNING: This author ate one bag of marshmallows, two bags of crisps,
two Dairy milk bars, three cans of Coke and about twenty packets of Polos during
the writing of this fanfiction.
FF.net are not responsible for the consequences…
Author's note: Hey People! I've started a new story now to continue my
big brother parody, but as all of you know (if you've read ch.6) it's not
really a gameshow anymore, as nobody's being voted off. Don't worry though;
everything our stars do is still being broadcast by live TV to the whole world!
If you haven't read "Big Brother My Way!" before, then I suggest you do (if ya
click on my authorname it'll be in my profile) coz otherwise you probably won't
get the plot.
I added a few more characters last time
(Jack and Daniel from Stargate, Sirius from Harry Potter, Pikkoro from
Dragonball, my friends Katie and Hannah, and of course, ME!) and as I got addicted
to the anime programme, Gundam Wing over the half term, I decided to add a
couple of characters from that too. Don't Groan! It's my fic and I can add
whoever I want, anyway, they're cool, if you have any taste at all you'll like
them. If you think I'm childish for liking Gundam Wing, then go and have a look
at the Gundam Wing fanfic in the anime section, I'm sure you'll find plenty of
writers on there who are way older than me. For all you non-Gundam fans (go get
cable!) I thought I'd just quickly introduce the characters.
The series is about some kids in the army, in the future, when soldiers
fight using Mobile suits (think Transformers but way cooler), which have taken
over from the fighter planes and boats and stuff of today. Five of the best pilots
(the kids) from the Alliance (that would be countries like Japan, America,
Europe etc,) have been chosen to use five "Gundams" (like duh! A mobile suit
made of Gundanium, whatever that is…) and the series is all about their fights
for the space colonies, which are really big spaceships of people living just
like they do on earth, but as earth is getting over populated they've moved out
to the colonies. The pilots have to stop an organization called OZ, from taking
control of the colonies. It's actually a pretty deep story, touching on things
like is it treason for pacifists not to fight, or for a soldier to change sides
if he doesn't believe in what he's fighting for. Oops, that took longer than I
expected… anyway, to the characters.
Heero
is the main character of the series; he is an excellent pilot and the leader of
the team. He doesn't talk much. He says Omae o kourosu ('I will destroy you' in
Japanese,) a lot. After he first met his girlfriend, Relena, he tried to kill
her. Several times, (don't worry, I'll explain.) For some reason, he is the
character everyone likes, though of course-
Duo
is my absolutely positutely fave character ever, he's so Cooooll! (Starts
praising Duo at her Duo shrine) He's like, the joker of the series and living
proof of my motto for life "It's possible to be psychotically happy and morbid
as hell at the same time." No he didn't say that, that's my line. He's kind of
Goth, in a very funny way, (he wears black all the time and named his Gundam
"Deathscythe") But constantly acts as if he's on a sugar high. ('Smile at your
enemies, they'll think you're on some kind of mind altering substance' I got
that from a fanfic called 'Everything I need to know in life, I learned from
Duo!') I would love to go on forever about him, but *sigh* I do have to move on
to the other characters…
Quatre
is my next fave character of the series, and he's another pilot. He's rich.
He's really sweet and came from a pacifist family, so he never kills anyone
unless he has to, and even then he gets all upset about it and goes on for
weeks, then usually he has to be looked after by Trowa, who is the oldest pilot
(about 17) and people are always writing fics about the two of them being
Yaoi/Slash together, which I think is WRONG WRONG WRONG, but don't get me started
on slash writers, or we'll be here all day!
Trowa,
Ummm… I really have nothing to say about this guy… He used to work in the
circus throwing knifes but hardly ever smiles, which is weird for a clown. He
talks less than Heero. Ummm, I really have nothing else to say.
Wufei
is a Chinese Gundam pilot, which could account for his mistrust of the other
pilots, in fact, though people are always writing fics where he falls in love,
or actually has a social life, I don't think he trusts people in general. He
has a tendency to scream INJUSTICE! At the top of his voice when about to
launch an attack or whatever, and has a weakness complex, like when he was
beaten in battle and refused to fight anymore as he thought he was a
"weakling."
Relina
is not a pilot; she's Heero's girlfriend, and also heir to the Sanc kingdom (so
she's really rich), which is a pacifist state. Oh yeah, the thing where Heero
kept trying to kill her the first few months after he met her was that he
thought she was a spy or something coz she kept on following him around, (she
was in lurve, the poor misguided thing!) She makes these really good speeches
which I swear if we ever have a history essay to do on pacifism then I am gonna
tape and copy down. As she's really really rich I've decided that the
characters are gonna stay at her HUGE mansion for a while, which happens to be
conveniently located on another desert island somewhere. I don't have any thing
else to say on Relina except that people on FF.net are always dissing her for
following Heero around and I don't think she deserves it.
Dorothy.
(aka the wicked witch of the colonies) Dorko is here for entertainment purposes
only. MY entertainment. If she offends you in any way, (her voice, THOSE
eyebrows,) then ignore her, I promise she will be unconscious for most of the
time anyway.
Oh yeah, if you want to see pics of Duo, or
any of the GW gang, so you know who the hell I'm going on about, then go to http://ami.animenetwork.com/macey/pages/gwgallerygr1b.html
it's a gallery of pics of the five pilots, and theres also links to galleries
of just Duo. *^_^* Not that I'd know anything about them. Really! Why don't you
believe me?
There, now that didn't take too
long, did it? Now, to the story!
It starts…
It was a typical day at the Peacecraft household….
"DUO, YOU BAKA!
INJUSTICE!" Wufei screamed, after being attacked by Duo and his latest find
from the attics of Relina's mansion, a camera…
"Chill, Wuffie! I was just
having some fun! If it makes you feel any better, I got a picture of Heero
after he passed out last night over his laptop, and he was smiling in his
slee…"
"OMAE O KOUROSU!!!"
Heero shouted, followed by a long stream of Japanese curses. He exploded down
the stairs after Duo, with his trusty gun fully loaded. Duo yelped, and ran
outside to escape his now TWO possible assassins. As they followed Duo and ran
out into the garden, the others could hear Wufei screaming "…and for the
nine-thousandth time…DON'T CALL ME WUFFIE, YOU BAKA…!!"
In the silence that
followed Duo's swift exit from the house, the rest of the 'sane' people let out
a sigh of relief, and went about what they were doing before Duo's [fifth]
assault of the evening.
Like I said, a typical day… (With this crowd!)
Suddenly the
Doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" called Relina. "Hiya Jenni!" she said to the
blonde girl standing in the doorway. "How's that fanfic going, you haven't put
a new chapter up for ages!"
"Ummm… that's kind of
what I'm here to talk to you about. I need a favour…"
Duo chose this
moment to come thundering back into the house, "Help!! Jenni, they're after me,
HELP!!!"
Jenni rolled her
eyes. "Duo, whatever you could possibly have done, I'm sure you were asking for
it!" she said with exaggerated patience, while trying to pry her boyfriend
off her waist. (Well if Katie can have Draco…)
At this time,
Relina, Quatre and Trowa were trying desperately to persuade Heero and Wufei
not to kill Duo.
"Er…Hi?" said one of
the other girls who had followed Jenni into the house.
"Oh, Sorry!" said
Jenni. "These are my friends, Katie Rowe and Hannah Thomas." She waved vaguely
in the direction of the two girls, who were looking warily at Duo, still
hanging on to Jenni's waist.
"Jenni has friends?"
asked Wuffie sarcastically. (oops, I mean Wufei!)
"You know, I don't
like you very much." Said Jenni threateningly to Wuffie.
"Wuffie? What the f*ck's up with that?"
"Language!"
"F*ck your language!
First it was Duo, and now you! I'm leaving you losers!"
Wuffie stormed out. (Oops I did it again! HEY! Who
invited her?)
*ahem* anyway…
"Sorry about Wufei."
Said Relina. "It's just that a certain Gundam pilot's been annoying him
incredibly today, even more than usual!"
Jenni looked
exasperatedly at Duo, who, now Wufei was gone, had let go of her waist and was
tying Trowa's shoelaces together.
"I wonder who that
could be."
Trowa, who had been
lying on a sunbed by the pool, woke up when Duo threw a glass of cold water in
his face. His expression went from one of surprise, to the all-too-familiar "I
want to hurt Duo" expression. He got up quickly, and then tripped up, catching
hold of Quatre, who was bringing some drinks out on a tray, and finally fell,
pulling the bewildered Quatre with him, into the swimming pool.
When Trowa finally
managed to regain his composure, standing dripping wet on the side of the pool,
he looked around angrily for his tormentor.
Duo said nothing,
but merely raised an arm and pointed innocently at Heero…
******
When the group were
inside (after Trowa and Quatre had dried off,) everyone was eating around a
long table. (Jenni, Hannah and Katie had been unable to refuse dinner by
Relina's cooks.)
"So, Jenni, how's
that TV show going?" asked Relina.
"AH. That was what I
wanted to ask you about. You see, we've been having a few problems with the
contestants…"
"Oh? How?"
"Well, the shows
over now, but none of them wanted to leave. I decided to start a new show, but
with no-one being kicked out, kind of like Real World (on MTV), where they come
and go as they please. Problem is, there's only so much you can do on a desert
island, and they're getting really bored. When the type of people I
chose for my show get bored, they do strange things."
"Like what?" asked
Quatre innocently.
"Y'know Draco
Malfoy?"
"Yeah. The wizard
boy." Said Trowa impatiently.
"He's started to
wear leather. Constantly."
While everyone at
the table cringed, Katie just smirked.
Duo pointed a finger
in her direction. "I know somebody who doesn't mind!"
Relina coughed
politely. "Oh Jenni, you poor thing! If there's anything I can do?"
"Actually, there is.
I was wondering if maybe they could come stay here for a while? I know it's a
lot to ask, but your estate is so big…"
"Oh of course!" Said
Relina. "We'd love to have you!"
"Err… Relina?" said
Heero. "I don't want to be rude or anything, but doesn't Jen and all her
friends coming here mean that we'll be part of her fanfic too?"
"I don't see a
problem with that Heero." Said Relina sternly.
"Awright!" Duo did a
High five with Jenni. Katie's grin became wider…
"Oh Brilliant." Said
Wuffie sarcastically. "This is gonna be great. Giving Jenni and that
weakling the power over our lives, what we do, what we say…"
"I'm leaving home!"
said Heero.
******
Meanwhile, in a
small English town called East Leake, five girls were having a sleepover. (ie.
The author's friends.)
"But I wanted to
watch Angel!" moaned Ellie dramatically, her brown curls falling around her
scowling face.
"Oh shut up Ellie!"
said Kirsty meanly, using the exact tone of voice her twin sister, Rowena,
usually used to talk to the poor girl.
"Yeah Ellie!"
bullied Rowena. "WE want to watch Jenni's show!"
"Of course…" agreed
Felicity. "We also want to see how Katie's getting on with Draco!"
The girls smirked.
The girls turned on
the TV and saw, instead of the usual island scene, the gang inside of one of
Relinas jet planes, which she had sent to carry the group to her mansion.
"I thought they were
on an island?" asked Manisha, who was sitting on the floor with a bowl of
popcorn.
"Naah," said Kirsty.
"Jenni changed it, Again!"
:::Its not my fault
I have a short attention span!!"::: shouted the irate author over the
voice-over.
"I didn't know she
was there" whispered Kirsty in the silence that followed Jenni's little
outburst.
"HEY!" shouted
Ellie. "You didn't tell me ANGEL was in it!" she scrambled towards the TV
screen trying to get to her 'one true love'.
"Like, how sad?"
said Kirsty spitefully.
"You can talk!" said
Manisha. "You're a Westlife fan!"
"And proud of it
girl!" announced Kirsty. "Right Ro? Uh…Rowena?"
No one answered her.
"Uhh..." said
Kirsty. "Where's Rowena?"
"More to the point,
where's that giant bag of Minstrels gone?" asked Felicity, worriedly.
"I dunno." Suddenly, Manesha's eyes went wide.
"You don't think…"
All of a sudden, a
burst of hysterical giggling came from the hallway outside the room. The four
remaining girls looked at each other. Ellie spoke up first.
"Oh…my…god…"
(A/N- Based on a
very-true, well-known fact between me and my friends: NEVER give Rowena too
much sugar, or else…)
******
Back on Relina's island…
Everybody was sunbathing around the pool, enjoying the last moments of
peace they would have before the big brother gang got there. Katy was smiling
in her sleep, and occasionally murmuring "Draco," but everyone was trying
really hard to ignore this. Hannah was sitting on a sunbed listening to
Relina's extensive 'Beatles' collection, Wufei was dunking Trowa in the pool,
Quatre was looking uncomfortable, wanting to help Trowa but not wanting to get
wet again (self-preservation was winning), and Jenni, Relina, Duo and Heero
were giggling in a corner, organising tonight's 'entertainment' for the guests.
(You'll find out what that is later.)
Relina's butler came
out in to the garden. "Miss Relina? You have a visitor."
Relina looked
disappointed, as she was expecting the BB gang. " A visitor? Now who
could that be?"
Heero looked
scornfully at her. "Who is it usually. You know, just when she's
not wanted?"
"Sounds like
somebody who's already here." Said Wufei pointedly.
"I heard that!" said
Jenni.
"Oh…Damn!" Said the
usually refined Relina. "I just realised who it is."
"Who is it?" asked
Jenni.
"Guess."
"Dorothy."
Said Jenni, her eyes narrowing to evil slits.
The two girls walked
off.
Heero started after
them. Duo stopped him, with a wicked smile, "Let them have their fun."
About fifteen
minutes later the girls came back carrying the unconscious Dorothy between
them, and chucked her limp body into the swimming pool.
"Good riddance to an
Evil Bitch!" cackled Relina. Heero stared wide-eyed at his girlfriend.
"I taught her that
one," grinned Jenni.
While the other GW
characters cheered at the disposal of Dorothy (for a while anyway, I have more
torturing in mind for her yet!) Hannah's small voice could barely be heard over
the din. "That's bad Karma ya know!"
******
Meanwhile, at the Nottingham Ice centre, where Westlife were preparing
for a concert, a certain sugar-crazy fan-girl crept backstage…
******
Back on Relina's plane, chaos had ensued when Jack had recommended Draco
turn back Harry potter (the frog) into a human, so that J.K.Rowling could go
back to writing her fifth book, and therefore, please his beloved Hannah.
Draco of course, had not taken kindly to this suggestion, and was
currently trying to force Jack's gun down his throat.
:::RIGHT! Break it up NOW! This is your captain speaking!:::
"That's not our captain, that's Jenni!" stated Charlotte.
:::Well would you like me to leave? There's certainly nobody else flying
this damn plane!:::
"NO! Stay, I'm sorry!" apologised Charlotte. "But how-?"
:::I'm the author! I can be in two places at once!:::
Draco, who had dropped Jack, now satisfied that he wouldn't 'challenge'
the 'Great Slytherin Prince' again, looked at Hermione, thinking longingly of
Katie. "Yeah, wouldn't that be handy."
:::Ex-CUSE me! I think I was trying to talk to you! I was going
to tell you we're coming in to land, so fasten your damn seatbelts! We
wouldn't want anyone to get hurt now would we?:::
******
What exactly does Rowena plan on doing to Westlife?
What is "tonight's entertainment" that is planned for our stars?
"Will Jack ever get back at Draco?" Shouted Jack.
Will Relina regret her decision to let the stars stay at her estate?
How long will Dorothy stay unconscious for?
"Has Draco got a crush on Katie?" Called Katie, hopefully.
Will the characters ever shut up and let me get a word in edgeways?
Find out on the next episode of, Unreal
World!!
(Can anyone think up a better title for me?)
