Author's note: Okay, I'm
not responsible for what after effects you may get from reading this, coz I
kind of typed it all and then read it through and realised how bad it was…
*All characters obey the Author, stop running off, and
come back.*
…nothing happens.
:: "…Dang! This thing must
be busted again!" :: ::throws character-controlling laptop across the room; it
lands on the couch::
All remaining characters
let out the giant breath they had been holding…
Then the other characters
all came back, suddenly appearing in the room.
"It worked? Wait a sec…"
said Wufei thoughtfully. You could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain.
He pounced on the couch, and went for the laptop.
:::Not so fast!!!:::
Wufei grabbed it, and
started typing.
*The
author suddenly is tied up in a chair, with 100 layers of tape over her mouth*
:::Nah
ah! Won't work on me, I'm the author!:::
He
looked disappointed. The other characters started to back away from Wufei,
Draco looking especially worried. Jenni and Duo began to slowly creep up on
Wufei, who had started to type again.
*A massive boulder lands on Draco's head.*
"Oww…"
said Draco, from underneath the boulder.
"How
did he-?" asked Wufei.
:::Ya
know::: said Jenni, still creeping up on Wufei. :::You can't kill anybody with
that thing, otherwise I would have used it on Dorothy a looong time ago. Not
unless you call…"
"Who?"
:::I'm
not going to tell you!:::
"Why?"
:::Coz
you'd kill Draco!:::
"That's
a bad thing?"
:::Ummm…:::
"HEY!
That's not very nice!" shouted Katie. (And Manisha and all Draco's other crazed
fans who are currently reading this fic.)
Wufei
began typing furiously.
*A mad axeman comes and murders Draco!*
:::Nope!:::
*Draco gets killed by me in my Gundam suit!!*
:::You'll
never, ever guess!:::
*Draco
goes through the Stargate and never comes back!*
:::Don't
be so stupid!:::
"Ya
know, this is actually quite funny!" said Duo, laughing at Wufei's efforts.
"Who ya gotta call?"
Wufei
just growled.
"Go
on then Wuffie, I'll give you a clue! What's my Gundam called?"
:::Duo!!:::
Wufei
looked thoughtful again. "It's called ….Deathscythe! That's it!"
:::DUO!!!!!:::
Wufei
began to type, before the author could grab the laptop off him.
*Death suddenly appeared through the wall, looking
for Draco.*
A black-cloaked figure, carrying a scythe,
appeared in the room, looking very confused. (I'm a biiig Terry Prachett fan,
so I just had to include Death somewhere in this fic!)
"DANG!" it's voiced emerged from beneath
the hood. "I COULD'VE JUST MURDERED THAT CURRY!"
Draco, who had somehow managed to lift the boulder, looked worriedly at
the Grim Reaper. "Uh oh!" he said, and pulled the boulder back over his head.
Wufei looked pleased with himself, and went
back to typing.
*The
forbidding figure scowled at the cowering boy, and lifted it's scythe-*
Duo held the laptop in his hands, and snapped it
shut. "Tut tut tut, you're in for it now Wu-wu!"
Jenni was holding the frying pan she usually
reserved for Dorothy-bashing. "WUFEI!!! DUO!!!"
"What? I'm the one who got it off him!!" said Duo,
with an injured look on his face.
:::You're the one who gave him the damn clue!!:::
Wufei, who had been laughing at Duo's misfortune,
strayed too close to the frying pan wielding Author.
WUMPH! WHACK!!
He fell unconscious to the floor.
Jenni stalked Duo around the couch. WHACK!!
Draco, seeing Wufei fall, climbed out from
underneath the boulder, still staring warily at the black-clad figure standing
over him.
Death, who was still frozen in position, with his
scythe raised, looked despairingly at the author. "CAN I GO NOW?
:::Ummm…no, you can stay and be one of the
contestants!:::
"Hee hee hee, now that's a fate worse than
Death!" laughed Sirius.
"I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO TONIGHT."
:::Yeah, well you would have had a lot more work to
do tonight if it hadn't been for Heero and his stupid dare!::: said the irate
author, searching for someone else to use the frying pan on and still sore from
not being able to use it on Dorothy for 'fear' of killing her.
Heero just shrugged again.
:::God! Say something for once!!:::
"Ya know," said Angel to Heero, conspiringly. "I
read something in the newspaper once about the dangers of stressed fanfic
authors."
:::SHUT UP!!! I'M NOT STRESSED!!:::
She was just deciding whether or not to hit Angel
(for insulting her) or Heero (for not insulting her) when she saw Draco out of
the corner of her eye.
:::Don't even think about it Malfoy!!:::
WHACK!!
As Draco suffered the same fate as Wufei and Duo,
Jenni bent down to retrieve the stolen laptop.
Just then Hannah, Buffy and Relina came into the den
carrying some stuff, gaping at the ring of unconscious characters around the
frying pan wielding Jenni.
"Jeez Jen, we leave you alone for a few minutes!"
exclaimed Hannah. (I quote from her English essay 'I can't respect anyone who
uses violence') (Sorry Hannah, couldn't resist! ^_^)
"Uh… she looks kinda stressed…" said Relina,
worriedly.
"Could be the fact she's practically foaming at the
mouth." Muttered Jack.
:::I heard that!::: WHACK!!
"Oh no! My Poor Jack!" cried Hannah, rushing over to
him.
"Why don't you give him CPR?" asked the Grinch and
Nick simultaneously, the professionals at providing dirty ideas.
Without a second thought, Hannah proceeded to do so.
"Oh Yuk!" said Daniel.
"Why didn't I think of that?" Katie rushed over to
Draco.
"Hey!!!" Hermione ran over and the two of them
started to catfight. Then Buffy saw Death and decided to try and stake him. Of
course, the stake just ripped his robes and stuck in the skeleton's ribcage.
Death, annoyed at the state of his robes began to try to kill Buffy with his
scythe.
:::Oi!! You two, uh, four!!:::
**Ring ring!!**
:::Break it up right now!:::
**Ring ring!!*
:::Dang that phone!!:::
Jenni got up to get it.
"Saved by the bell!" Draco exclaimed, trying to crawl out from
underneath the two girls, who had paused their fight for a few seconds.
"That was really corny,
Draco," said Katie, noticing him getting away. She pounced on the struggling
wizard and gave him mouth to mouth.
:: "Hello?" :: Jenni
answered the phone.
:: "Oh hi Manisha…whassup?
I'm in the middle of a fic, here!::
"Remind me to thank her
later!" Hannah whispered to Katie, pausing in their amateur CPR.
::listens to Manisha for a
minute, then suddenly goes pale::
"Uh-oh…bad news!" Quatre
said.
"He said BAD news!" Sirius
exclaimed
:: "Thanks for telling me,
Manisha…bye":: ::hangs up phone::
"What's up?" Quatre wanted
to know
:: "Rowena's on her way
here!" ::
"…So?" everyone said in
unison (well, those who could still speak, anyways!)
:: "…she's been eating
sugar…and she's just gate crashed the Westlife concert."::
"How much sugar?" asked
Joey.
:: "…Manisha said she took
a 20lb bag of starbursts with her!" ::
Everyone's eyes go wide.
"They're in trouble…"
Katie spoke up.
:::Manisha said to turn on
sky one:::
"Okay." Daniel turned on
the TV.
There, where there had
once been the live coverage of the Westlife concert, was just chaos. A frantic
newsreader was trying desperately to be heard over the screaming crowd of fans and
riot police. "A crazed Westlife fan, suspected to be on some sort of
hallucinatic drugs (A/N ro doesn't need drugs, she just needs chocolate.) is
holding the band hostage in their changing rooms, up on the top floor of this
building. Her-" Just then, a pair of boxers (with 'westlife' written all over
them,) were thrown out of the window the reporter had been pointing to. They
landed on her head. "Ahhh!!! Get them off!!!" The screen went fuzzy, and the
camera switched back to the studio, were two bored looking reporters were
sitting at their desk. "That was the scene outside the Nottingham ice centre
this evening. We'll keep you informed when we aquire more information, though
unfortunately our reporter is in the Nottingham psychiatric ward for reasons evident
on the footage we just showed you. Now back to the strange disappearances in
the American town of Sunnydale-"
Buffy hastily switched off the TV. "Uh…I guess Riley
isn't doing as good a job as I'd hoped…"
"Who's Riley?" asked Angel.
"Well duh!" said Jenni, ignoring Angel. "Buffy, if
you leave Riley in charge then whachta expect's gonna happen? That guy is one
of the most imcompetant-"
"WHO'S RILEY!!??" asked Angel, sounding annoyed.
"Uh oh…" said Buffy.
"Uh..oh…" said Jenni "This fight wasn't in the plot…"
"Hee hee!" Katie sounded happier than she had when
giving Draco CPR.
"Angel, as interesting as this fight would be, I do
want to keep you two alive long enough to finish filming series six ya know…"
"Darn!" said Katie.
Buffy looked embarrassed, and Angel was looking at
her disbelievingly. "I can't believe you two-timed me with that ****-"
"RIGHT!" Jenni snapped her fingers; Buffy
disappeared in a puff of smoke. "I am trying to keep this damn fic PG-13
ya know!!!"
"Where'd Buffy go?" asked Angel.
"Back to Sunnydale of course, I can't have anymore
vampire killings on my hands… Warner bros would probably sue me or
something…mind you, all they'd get would be my computer, my cat and my lil
sis…"
"But Sunnydale's where that *** ****** **** Riley
is!!" said Angel.
"Oops… Oh Yeah…"
Hannah whispered something to Jenni.
"Ooooo… good idea!!"
She snapped her fingers again, and a confused
looking girl was standing in the middle of their circle. The girl looked
dazedly around, and then saw something that made her face light up with a grin.
"ANGEL!!!" She ran towards the poor guy, faster than she ever had in her life,
(Rowena reading story at home-"Not that Ellie's ever ran fast in her whole
life!" Yeah Ro, I know it's your job to insult Ellie, so that's why I let you
do it! ^_^) and glomped Angel. (Glomped is another of my weird anime words,
it's just a word for when someone runs up to their crush, jumps into his arms
and literally sucks face, but it's a nicer way of saying all that.)
"That should shut him up!" said Jenni, now very
pleased with herself.
"And while we're on the subject *snap* she snapped
her fingers again, and Rowena was standing in the room, holding a tube of
whipped cream, which she promptly hid behind her back. "Ohhhh… Where'd Kian go?"
"Hey Ro!" said Jenni. "Been having fun?"
Ro's face lit up at the thought of where she'd just
been. "Yeeaahh!"
Some retching noises were
made, but Kirsty, reading the fic at home, was screaming with jealousy.
(In Leicester.) "GRRRRRR!!! That *%$~@ of a sister!
Couldn't she have taken ME with her!!??"
"Uh… Kirsty, calm down…" said Manisha, sounding
worried.
"If it was me I'd have taken her with
me!!" raged Kirsty.
"No you wouldn't." said Felicity.
"I would have!! Well maybe I wouldn't, but still!!"
Kirsty, caught up in the stress of the moment, began to throttle Felicity.
:::Yay!! ^_^:::
Manisha, now fearing for her life, tried not to make
any sudden movements as she reached for the phone.
:::Hello?:::
"Hi Hannah, it's me again."
:::Whassup? We just sorted out the whole Westlife
thing.:::
"Eerrr… well, Kirsty's gone kinda rabid. She's throttling
Felicity."
:::Ooooo ^_^ :::
"I think I'm next."
:::Oh, okay. I'll get Jen to help you out.:::
(Back in
the world of FF.net) "Hey Jenni!" called Hannah. "Could you bring Manesha here
too?"
"Okay, But isn't yet another Draco fan gonna be
kinda bad for his health?"
"So?"
"Alright then." *snap*
"Thank Goodness!" cried Manisha. "Oooooo!" Then she
glomped Draco.
"Hey! That's my job!!" shouted Katie and Hermione.
The trio began to catfight again.
Everyone watched them roll across the floor, whilst
Draco cowered in the corner.
"Bring any popcorn?" asked Duo.
"I'll go get some sir." Said the butler who had been
fanning Dorothy all night.
"Hey!" shouted Dorothy.
"Dorko! Make one move and it's frying pan time
again!" shouted Jenni and Relina simultaneously.
"Eep!" she squeaked.
"Alriiight!" said Duo, putting a finger up and
sticking his tongue out at Dorothy.
"Jen-ni?" asked Ro. "Could you maybe possibly bring
Kian here?"
"Umm…you mean me, bring a member of Westlife
here, just so you can snog him (and worse) all night?"
"Well, when you put it like that…"
"Of course I will Rowena! *snap*" said Jenni. Then
adding under her breath, "I mean, there's always the slight chance that Katie
might kill him, but you know, the more the merrier…"
Ro, having already jumped into Kian's arms, didn't
hear her.
Most of the pop star haters in the room began to
growl.
Relina tried desperately to change the subject. "We've
got food!" she gave Duo his popcorn.
Jenni instantly brightened up at this thought.
:::Bring any chocolate?:::
Relina held out a box of Black Magic. "Yep! With you
in mind!" and she added under her breath "Coz we all know what happens when you
don't keep the author happy!"
Jenni went and sat on the couch, dumping the
unconscious Wufei onto the floor as she did so. "I heard that, but as these are
so good, I think I'll forgive you!" she said, cramming the chocolates into her
mouth.
Katie held up a box "We brought champagne too!"
:::Oooooh!::: grin as sugar starts to take effect.
:::I've got an idea…:::
"Be afraid…" started Angel, (WUMPH!!!) Then getting
hit with my frying pan. Ellie joined the ranks of Hannah and Katie and did CPR
on Angel.
:::My idea is, that we all play 'I've never'.:::
The Grinch and Nick cheered, but the rest of the
group (who weren't unconscious) just looked scared…
The 'Nightmare on elmstreet' music is played… Dum,
dee dum dum duuuum!
