"Hey guys

"A Day in the Life of a Digimon" by-

:: "Whoa-whoa-whoa! Who's been messin' with my fic files?!?!?!" ::

Author turns to look at Trowa.

"What?" he asked, as if nothing was wrong.

"DIGIMON?" Duo exclaimed

:: "Grr….i'll hafta fix this and move on to the REAL fic…..Take two!" ::

"Misty and Ash's First Dare" by-

:: "………TROWA!!!!!" ::

"It wasn't me this time! I swear! I don't even like that couple!" he pleads

Author sweatdrops at his attempted alibi.

:: "Then who…" ::

Charlotte whistles innocently

:: "CHARLOTTE!!!!!!!" ::

"What?"

:: "Grrr….Now I hafta fix this AGAIN! Will you two STAY OUT OF MY FIC FILES!!!!! Ahem…..Take Three!" ::

"When Pokemon come out and attack the fanfic authors who make fun of them" by-

:: "OK…who's the wise guy this time?!?!?!?!?!" ::

Both Charlotte and Trowa look away and whistle innocently.

:::It had better work this time, or you two are in The Chair again. (I think it deserves capital letters, I mean, even Draco's scared of it!) Take four!!:::

I've Never (Big brother my way style)

"Hey people! What's up?" Duo Maxwell waved from the couch where he was sitting beside Jenni, Katie, Draco, Quatre, Hannah, Daniel and Heero Yuy, who contented himself with a glare in Duo's direction. Jack, Sirius, Wufei, and Pikkoro, were all huddled in the corner, laughing, and trying to think of ways to get back at Draco, after the Tipex incident. (Tipex fights are fun! ^_^ Don't ask.)

The Grinch and Nick were doing something obscure in a broom cupboard somewhere.

Rowena and Brian were playing footsie on the couch.

Don't ask what Ellie and Angel were doing.

Charlotte Hill and Trowa Barton were sitting on the window seat, heads bowed over a small computer, minds frantically working to accomplish a single goal, their mission desperate.

Dorothy squealed, ever the double agent. "Ooohhhh! A MISSION! I wonder what it could be! Maybe it's a conspiracy to-"

"Thunder shock!" Charlotte squealed. "Thunder shock NOW!!!"

(Duo: …..is there ANY fic out there where Trowa isn't obsessed with pokemon????

"If I find one, I'll let ya know!" shouted Trowa, sounding annoyed.)

"Sorry about that," said Jenni apologetically. "Ever since Pokemon: Teal came out no-one's been able to get them to stop."

(Author's Little Sister reading story over her shoulder) "There's no Teal! It's only Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Gold, and Silver!"

Everyone: NOBODY CARES!

"Gotta catch em all," said Trowa. "Must catch them all... Must..."

At that moment a butler came in from the kitchen, and gave Dorothy a plate. "Hordeuvres, anyone?" she asked.

"What does she think this is?" muttered Jenni. "A restaurant?"

Katie stood up. "Hey everyone, gather round, gather round... Charlotte, Trowa... PLEASE put that down..."

"Hey! That Rhymes!" said Duo.

The author rolled her eyes. "Very observant, Duo"

"Oh God," said Wufei. "I KNEW this was a bad idea."

"But you think anything social is a bad idea!" exclaimed Rowena.

"Oh shut up."

"…We're going to play another game, seeing as Truth or Dare kinda turned ugly." Katie glanced at Draco, who was cringing at the memory of being tied up with all that duck tape.

"A game????" asked Heero, horrified.

"I want Pikachu!" demanded Charlotte.

"NOT Pokemon," said Jenni. "A drinking game. Duo? Can you go and get the champagne?"

"What? All of it?" he asked, sounding horrified.

"No….ya think?"

"I can't carry fifteen crates by myself!!!" Duo protested.

"Oh, get Pikkoro to help you or something. He's strong."

"Fifteen... crates????" said Relina. "Um... this is the sort of thing that gets politicians into lots of trouble and I'm not ready to resign yet."

"Darn!" said Dorothy, snapping her fingers. She smiled sweetly. "Don't worry Miss Relina, we're all friends here."

"No we're not!" shouted everyone.

"We're friends? Now I'm worried," said Relina, looking extremely worried.

"I'm offended," said Dorko.

"Do we care?" asked Ellie.

"Don't worry about it," said Daniel. "We have a jamming field on, and no recording devices are going to be able to work through it."

Dorothy, Wufei and Jack grimaced, *Damn.*

:::Awwwww…too bad…..there's enough dirt in here to blackmail everyone!:::

Everyone looks scared.

:::Woops! Giving away the plot already!:::

The champagne was lugged in, and the first bottles were poured. Everyone sat around in a circle, and Duo began.

"The rules are quite simple. We go around in a circle, and each person says something they've never done, Like, uh, 'I've never painted everyone's Gundams bright pink to get them back for the camera incident."

"How'd he know that was me?" asked Heero, going red, and reaching for his glass.

"Heero!! That was you??!!" Quatre asked, stunned.

Trowa pointed his pokeball thingy at Heero, "Pikachu! Attack!" Charlotte, in her yellow Pikachu costume, just cowered behind him.

Wufei started to growl.

Heero did a death glare at Duo.

"OR like 'I've never eaten a live rat'," Duo amended hastily.

"Eeeeewwwwwwwww!" said Everyone.

"I never did that!" said Duo. "I swear! The game's called I've never! Okay?"

The Grinch took a sip of his champagne.

"EEEEWWWW!!!"

"What?" he said. "I'm a bad guy in a children's book! We have to keep up our reputations ya know!"

Nick looked disgusted. "And to think of all the times I've kissed you, and the other stuff-"

"*Cough*" Rowena tried to change the subject. "THEN, anyone who HAS done that thing, has to drink. Not the whole glass, unless you want to, but slightly more than a sip. Any questions?"

"Is it too late to leave?" Angel asked.

"Yes, the doors are locked and I know where you live." Said Jenni. "And that goes for everyone!"

Ellie nudged Angel, "Can't you just have some fun for once?"

Angel looked scared.

Draco snickered. "Yeah, right!"

"I'll go first," Duo declared. "I've thought long and hard for this one."

(Author:……you thought?

Duo: Ya know..i don't like you very much

Author: Flattery gets you nowhere!)

Everyone waited with bated breath.

"Bated? We're going fishing?" asked Kian.

Rowena rolled her eyes. "Beauty, but no brains." The pop haters in the room began to look nauseous.

"Hey hey hey! Lips-moving-still-talking!" Duo sounded annoyed. "Thank you. Ahem. I have never punched a friend in the stomach and had them locked in prison." Duo said.

Trowa and Heero looked at each other. "Still carrying a grudge about that one then, Duo." said Heero, as they both reached for their glasses. Duo now looked slightly happier, having got that off his chest.

Rowena looked thoughtful. "I've never… been infatuated with a fictional character."

Jenni, Hannah, Katie, Ellie and Manisha all deathglared at her and sipped their champagne. Rowena smirked.

Quatre was next. "I've never asked the one I'm in love with to come and kill me."

"Wonder who's gonna sip on THAT one." Said Ellie, glaring at Angel, who's lap she was sitting on.

Both Angel and Relina blushed and sipped delicately as everyone grinned at them.

Next was Trowa's turn.

"I've never had my Gundam blown up by others," he said quietly. The four other pilots seemed to take offence at this.

"No, he had to blow it up himself!" said Heero.

"You LOST it once," pointed out Wufei.

"Yeah…he lost his Gundam…he lost his mind…. What else is there to loose?" asked Quatre.

"Doesn't count." said Trowa.

Duo scowled. "Well, MINE wouldn't have been blown up if it hadn't been for a certain SOMEONE in this very room!" (Glares at Trowa)

Trowa smiled as the four other Gundam pilots drank their drinks.

"Is it just me, or has Duo drunken a lot so far?" asked Quatre.

Duo was beginning to look somewhat flushed.

"It's jusht you " said Duo.

"But…"

"Don't even bother, Quatre." Said Jenni.

Then it was Charlotte's turn.

"I've never nicked all the marshmallows in someone's pack of 'Pokémon Breakfast" she glared at Jenni who grinned back, and reached for her glass.

"Hey," Said Jenni. "It's like that 'two birds with one stone' thing. It annoyed you, and, I was hungry!"

Brian also reached for his glass, ducking Kian's glare.

Rowena turned to Kian. "You like Pokémon?" she asked.

"Well yeah…"

"Whadya expect?" said Katie. "He's a popstar!"

"Well, yeah, I guess the beauty and no brains thing…"

***

"I've never sat inside a Gundam," Katie said.

The five pilots reached for their drinks.

"Well, THAT was a given!" said Hannah.

So did Jenni, Dorko and Relina.

"Interesting…."

Duo and Jenni blushed and so did Heero and Relina.

"But how did Dorothy?" asked Quatre.

"WHAT???!!!" screamed Wufei. "Would everyone stop looking at me!"

***

Jenni composed her thoughts. "Hmmm... I've never tried to kill my friends."

"Ya sure about that, now?" asked Hannah.

Wufei, Quatre, Angel and Dorothy reached for their drinks.

"Wait a sec. What about Heero and Relina?" asked Duo.

"Well…technically, they were never friends," Jenni avoided Heero's deathglare.

Next was Daniel's turn. "I've never danced round in my underwear, singing."

Jack burst into laughter.

Daniel aimed a gun at Jack.

Jack immediately stopped laughing, groaned and reached for his glass.

So did Relina.

Everyone turned to stare at Relina, wide-eyed.

"I was six!" said Relina defensively.

"Well, I guess THAT'S understandable," said Daniel.

"Awww... that must have been so cute," said Heero.

Relina blushed, then Hannah tapped her shoulder and handed her a photo. "Jack doesn't have your age excuse."

Relina looked at the photo and giggled.

"WHAT THE-!!!?" shouted Jack.

Hannah showed the photo to everybody, thwarting Jack's desperate attempts to get it back.

"Hey!!!" complained Jack. "No fair! You're all picking on me," he hiccupped. "Well that's just FINE!"

He fished a photo out of his jacket pocket and handed it around to everybody. It was a lovely "early morning" shot of Hannah.

"HEY!!!" shouted Hannah.

"Ummm... not a morning person I take it?" asked Dorothy, who promptly got hit with the frying pan. (HA! Katie couldn't take it off me! Not even for cookie dough!!)

"JACK!!!!" shouted Hannah.

"Uh-oh…. SOMEONE'S in trouble now." giggled Daniel.

"Relina, you're up!" shouted Jenni, trying to head off the carnage.

Relina tried to think of something no one could ever have done. "I've never used whipped cream for anything other than food."

Heero actually spoke. "Not true."

Everyone turns and stares at Relina, mouths open.

"Don't tell me you've never been involved in a food fight before!"

Everyone let out giant breath they were holding.

Of course, Rowena and Kian drank.

Katie and Draco paled, and stared at Relina. "How did you kn-..." they both stopped and reached for their drinks.

"I always wondered where you went at weekends Draco." Said Hermione, disgustedly.

"What about the restraining order Draco?" asked Manisha.

Trowa also reached for his glass.

"Trowa???" shrieked Quatre.

Everyone: (GASP!!!)

"I work in the circus Quatre," reminded Trowa. "I am a clown! Custard, whipped cream, chocolate mousse - I've thrown 'em all." (Charlotte started singing 'Gotta catch 'em all', but everyone ignored her.)

Everyone: (PHEW!)

"My turn, my turn," said Hermione. "This one was Dorothy's idea." She shot Draco a penetrating glance. "I've never slept with Harry."

Katie and Manisha merely stared at her whilst Draco sputtered and choked. Hermione looked disappointed, and faintly relieved.
So, there was hope after all.

"Not if she's thinking what I THINK she's thinking!" said Katie.

Draco ground his teeth. How could she? This meant war!

"My turn!" he said. "I've NEVER crept NAKED into another person's room to try and seduce them with my feminine wiles!" He shuddered.

"That's scarier than Daniel before he's had his five cups of coffee in the morning!" said Jack.

"I don't like this Author!" said Hermione, reaching for her glass.

"And I'm pretty sure she doesn't like you, either!" said Rowena, from Kian's lap.

Hermione turned on Draco, infuriated. "How could you..." she drank from her glass.

"Back to the beginning," said Duo. "Hmmm... I've never..."

***

Hannah sighed. "I've never had sex in..." her mind wandered. "An aeroplane or a Gundam."

Heero and Relina went bright red and picked up their glasses. So did Jenni and Duo.

"Oh you're kidding..." said Sirius.

"PLEASE be kidding!" pleaded Daniel.

Draco and Katie looked at each other, "Why didn't we think of that?" Draco asked.

"Prob'ly cos it would be too cramped," said Katie. "I mean, where would you put..."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" screamed Hermione, with her hands in her ears.

***

However, this was soon dwarfed by Wufei's next statement.

"I've never been insulted by Jack," said Wufei.

"How could he not have been insulted by Jack? Jack insults EVERY ONE!" asked Daniel, appalled.

Everyone but Wufei and Jack went for their glasses.

"Told ya!" he said.

"What's THAT supposed to mean!" Jack demanded.

"DUH! It means you insult everyone! What did you THINK it meant!" said Draco.

A drunken Hannah patted his shoulder. "Don'cha worry Jack," she said. "We all know that'sh how you show affection."

"Yes, we noticed how you sculled your glass Hannah," said Relina.

Duo: ……..I've run out of comments. Anyone else got one?

***

"I've never kissed another person of the same sex," said Heero.

"HA! Take THAT you Heero/Duo fans!!!!!!!" shouted Relina. Jenni grinned.

Of course, the Grinch and Nick drank.

Quatre and Trowa exchanged glances, smiled, and also drank.

(Everyone stares wide-eyed at the Author) "I THOUGHT YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI!!!!!!"

"True-true," said Jenni. "But they're so funny, and they're not much, so I decided to let this slide. Anyway, whenever those two are in a fic together, they're always at it one way or another. Who else would ya pair them with? Dorko?"

Quatre snorted.

Dorothy looked hurt. Still, there would always be fun with...

"I've never had sex with Jack," Dorothy said abruptly. Everyone turned to look at Daniel, who raised his hands. "Not guilty." he said. "Look at Hannah - look at Hannah! For goodness sake stop looking at me... she's practically drinking the whole bottle.

Everyone turns to look at Hannah.

"Doncha y'all look at me!" drawled a very drunk Hannah. Who, had in fact, been drinking nearly all night, whether she'd done the I've never or not.

"Is it just me or has Hannah drunk a lot so far?" asked Duo.

"Ish jusht you." Said Hannah.

Everyone turned back to look at Jack.

"Why won't you believe me? There's nothing between Daniel and me. Nothing I tell you! See, I'll prove it!" He grabbed Hannah and kissed her.

"Awwwww...how sweet!" said Relina.

"Oh..." said Dorothy disappointedly. No scandals here.

"Okay Jack, we believe you." Said Duo.

"Jack... you can stop now." Said Wufei.

"Jack... don't you have to come up for air or something. Jack? JACK!!!" shrieked Daniel.

"Okay, NOW it's gone too far" said Jenni.

"DUH" said Daniel.

***

The evening wore on:

"I've never been turned on by my Gundam - or anyone else's. Why is everyone looking at me disbelievingly?" said Wufei.

Nobody drank.

Duo stared at Wufei for a second, before cracking up.

***

"I've never been thrown out of a big brother house." Said Kian, smirking at Brian. (See earlier chapters of BBMW)

Brian and Nick picked up their glasses.

Dorothy and Hermione made a big show of not picking up their glasses.

"Don't push it." Said Jenni.

***

"I've never had sex in…the kitchen." Said Angel.

"We can soon change that." Said Ellie.

"Do you guys have cameras in our house or something?" asked Draco picking up his glass.

Mass spitting out of hordeuvres.

***

"I've never used another persons name at school." Said Duo.

"Did you have a problem with that Duo?" asked Heero.

"Not really, I got great grades! I even got an A in philosophy."

"Bet you've never had one of those before." Said Katie.

"He hasn't." said Jenni.

"Are you making fun of my intellect, again?"

"Hmmm…." Said Rowena. "Would we? Really?"

***

"I've never had sexual fantasies about Janet." (A/N the nurse lady in Stargate.)

"Damn you Jack!" shouted Daniel.

"Daniel! Ew!" said Hannah

Everyone stared at Daniel, and then moved away.

"What?" he said.

"It's TRUE?!?!?" asked Jack.

"I choose to plead the fifth on that one!"

***

"I've never tried practicing the kama sutra." Said Sirius.

"You guys DO have cameras in our house!" said Draco, alarmed.

"Do you two ever STOP???!!!" asked Hermione.

"Umm... is that an I've Never statement?"

Manisha and Hermione screamed in horror.

Katie whispered to Draco. "They don't REALLY have cameras in our house, do they?"

***

Around 5 am things began to run down.

Trowa and Charlotte had gone to sleep in the corner, occasionally murmuring, "Pika..."

Quatre and Trowa were leaning together drunkenly on the couch.

Hannah was languidly draped over Jack who was still sitting bolt upright despite the two empty champagne bottles in front of him. Heero and Relina were still sitting together, both still blushing and avoiding looking at Draco and Katie, who were playing footsie. Jenni was sitting beside Duo, sipping her champagne and smirking as Pikkoro tried to think of a safe question that didn't involve sex in strange places or poses, since he'd discovered MORE about Katie and Draco's sex life than he'd ever wanted to know.

"Ummmm... I've never... been locked outside in my underwear." he said finally.

Hannah giggled and reached for one of the four champagne glasses in front of her. Damn things kept moving about!

"You drunken fool," said Jack.

"Hey, it was deliberate," she said. "I was trying to get away from the jerk on the other side of the door!"

"Hee hee…I bet it was Daniel!" whispered Duo.

"You... you... you... went out with someone?" asked Jack disbelievingly.

"Hey... not everyone's totally resistant to my charms," said Hannah.

"Immoral woman!"

Relina, Hermione, Katie and Jenni, Rowena, Manisha and Ellie do the patented Sheep™ squeals. (Baaa! Don't ask! I'm sure Rowena or Katie could explain it better anyway.)

"Ohh…this is gonna be good!" said Manisha.

"What's your problem? You don't have any right to criticize me or be judgmental - it's not like we're married or anything."

"If we were married things would be different."

"…yeah…" said Daniel. "They'd argue even more then they do now!"

"But we're not, Jack, so this is pointless," said Hannah crossly.

Dorothy gently woke Charlotte up to watch as they all drew closer to the argument.

"I know that we're not but you should listen to me, woman!"

"I don't think so."

Jack's eyes flashed. "You are so stubborn! Who would want to marry such a woman as you anyway?"

"Well you don't have to worry about it." Hannah shrugged and turned away, reaching once more for her drink.

"Fine! Will you marry me or not woman!" Jack shouted.

:::Author desperately trying not to laugh out loud and worry her father who's looking at her strangly.:::

The room held its collective breath.

"I bet she'll say no!" whispered Dorothy, excitedly.

There was a short pause. "Okay," said Hannah, just before passing out.

"…just goes to show ya how drunk she was!" said Duo, grinning.

Jack looked at her as the last conversation trickled through his skull. He looked up at his audience, whom were all grinning at him.

"Congratulations!" said Draco. "I've never proposed to someone in a drunken rage."

"…..or proposed to anyone at all!" muttered Katie.

"Well mayb…" said Draco… then Manisha and Hermione gagged him before he could say anything else. Katie deathglared at them.

"Uh oh…" said Manisha.

The End (Heh heh)