Intense


Disclaimer: I now state I do not own any of the people mentioned in this fan fic (though I'm welcome to offers Brendan and Jason!) This is purely for entertainment.

Rating: If you're old enough to watch the show you can read this.

Author's note: Skin and Bones thoughts. I haven't actually seen this episode so this fic is purely from what I've been told/read/heard. Michael and Maria POV.

Maria

That comment I made earlier about ex-cons being great in bed? I didn't mean just any ex-con. I was after one in particular. Alex. No I'm joking. You can start breathing again! I meant Michael of course. God, even his name is sexy. I wonder if he thinks Maria is a sexy name?
I meant it when I said I missed him. An entire summer of not seeing the man that your totally crazy about will do that too you.
I can't count the amount of times that I've let Max comfort me.
Max and me have kinda formed a strange friendship. Both of us are obsessed with the other's best friend. It works. We shop, watch sport and chat. Michael's closed himself off and Liz is not here so we keep each other company. It's cool.
I barely spoke to Isabel though. It's hard to start a conversation with the woman who's destined to be with your honey.
Michael avoided the Crashdown, avoided hanging with the others, and didn't answer his phone or my messages.
I went to his apartment too and knocked on the door waiting for any sign of life. He never answered. I have no clue how he knew it was me. I went at different times, knocked timidly like Liz, loudly like Isabel and softly like Tess. I even did one of Alex's funny little musical knocks and Max's one single pound on the door, hoping to catch him out.
Not once did I hear him come to the door and see who it was.

When I saw his hair for the first time… I was surprised to say the least. Michael without spikes? I never in a million years would have expected that.
It did cross my mind that he changed it because it was a reminder of us. All the times I'd ran my hands through it when I kissed him, all the times I felt it tickle my chin when he kissed my neck (which was a lot. I think he has a thing about necks or something).
And then I realised I'd changed my hair too. Did he think I'd changed it because I couldn't stand remembering the way he stroked it? Or how he plaited it when we were alone in his apartment?
Those kind of memories are my favourite. Everyone thinks he's so tough and mean but inside he's really a mush. He takes care of those close to him in any way he can, whether it be blow drying my hair (one of his many hidden talents!) or lugging Liz's suitcases down the stairs.
God, this so pathetic. I'm debating whether me changing my hair and him changing his has some relation to the status of our relationship. He probably hasn't even noticed.
I tried to inject some of our trademark banter into our confrontation but it fell flat. He didn't even come back with one of his scathing remarks. Even hearing "Mud" would have been preferable than "I thought this thing was all over". I can't even remember the exact words. I was trying to search his face for any sign that he cared.
"You agreed then avoided me all summer."
I got that out in the open at least. He didn't even seem to notice.
Then I showed him the ultimate weakness. He's the first person I've ever admitted I need. When Max was gone, I was scared, confused, upset. He's the leader, whether some cheesy mom-o-gram said so or not. He always has been. If he could be taken then what about everyone else? If anything had happened to Max I would have been lost but I'd would've had to be strong for Michael and Liz. But I need Michael. Even if he's not with me, I need to know that this fragile cord that ties us together is still there, however thin.
"I miss you Michael."
He didn't disappoint.
"I know but don't."
He knows! He knows! Maybe he misses me too. If he knows what it's like to miss someone then maybe he means he knows how it is to miss me.
I really wanted to ask him if he meant what he said at the UFO centre. If he really did love me too much to let me get hurt. But I couldn't.
What if he said no? What if it was all just a convenient excuse to get rid of me? I can't quite bring myself to believe that though.
Michael is blunt. He calls it as he sees it. If he had wanted to break up with me he would have just said it. But he said he loved me. For that brief second I thought things were gonna be OK. I had so many dreams about it…

"Maybe because I love you too much."
He would pause and look into my eyes.
"I love you too Michael."
Then I'd extend my arms to him and he would come towards me and pull me close. Then he'd kiss me soft and gentle like before he went to rescue Max and when I apologised for being a bitch.
He'd take my hand and we'd all get into the jeep and go to the cave. Liz and Max would be sitting in the front and I'd be sitting on Michael's lap and Isabel would be sitting on Alex's. Tess would be sandwiched between us.
Then we'd go into the cave and see Max's mom. She'd tell them all they needed to know. Isabel would go to Alex and Liz to Max. Then Michael would come to me and tell me it didn't change anything. That he still loved me and didn't want anything to come in between us. Then we'd all go home.
But I always woke up and knew things were very different. It's funny really. I always included Tess in my dream. She was the one who ruined everything. She came between us all. And I hate her. Kinda.
The biggest part of me wants to blame her but then there is this little bit of me that tells me that she never knew any different. She's never had the chance to find love on her own terms. Maybe if she did then she'd see that you can't dictate who you love.
And then maybe Michael would be lying next to me now instead of across town.

Michael

I know but don't? What the hell was I thinking? I should have said ditto or I miss you too or anything to let her know that I feel it too. She looked so cute this evening, her hair perfect. I like it long. I can just imagine running my hands though it. I can see her head resting on my pillows her hair fanned out around her. I can picture her, with my sheets draped over her, her eyes looking at me, smiling. God, I have to stop this. There is no point in me fantasising about something that's not gonna happen. She's never gonna lie in my bed with me holding her. Its only got make me even more miserable, knowing I could have her but she could get hurt in the process. I can't risk that.
All these little sexual innuendo's she's been dropping and the way she's been swinging her hips just make it harder for me to resist her.
She let me see inside her head let me see everything. All her hopes, dreams…desire. I've seen what she fantasises about. Every time I walk into the break room and see her lying there on the couch or sitting in a booth leaning on Max it makes me wanna scream. She thinks I've not seen her all summer. I have.
The amount of nights I've stood outside Max's window and watched her cry in his arms, watched him run his hands though her hair to calm her down…. Every time I just wanted to go in and pull her out of his arms and into mine but couldn't… if those evil aliens want to torture me, all they have to do is make me watch Maria cry without being able to comfort her.
I have to be a soldier and help my people then I can concentrate on her. But in the meantime I'm just gonna have to pretend everything's fine.
It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it.