Chapter 3: I Will Remember You

Chapter 3: I Will Remember You

Lois waited at the Smallville train station for Perry and Jimmy to arrive. Martha had graciously postponed the funeral so that Clark's boss and friend could attend. Clark had been very distracted lately. Jonathan had died on Sunday morning and since then Clark had barely spoken to his mother and almost completely avoided Lois.

It was probably best that he did avoid her, at least for awhile, while she recovered from hearing what she did on the morning of Jonathan's death. No, she thought, Clark's status as Superman didn't really matter what mattered was that he loved him and he needed her. They could get through everything else. There was just one gnawing issue, why didn't he trust her enough to tell her.

Lois always thought Clark trusted her, and even Superman trusted her about kryptonite, why hadn't Clark and Superman trusted her enough to tell her that Clark and Superman were one in the same. She wasn't angry, she was hurt, but out of love for Clark, she chose to say nothing until he felt better.

"Lois!" Jimmy called, "That was a long trip. Where's CK?"

"Hi, honey. How's Clark?" asked Perry.

"He's bad, Perry. He spends all of his time down at the lake. He won't talk to me. I can see how this hurts him, but he won't let himself cry. He won't even talk to Martha."

"Yeah, well, we'll see how he is after the funeral. Sometimes that closure is all a person needs to deal with things. If he needs another week off, just let me know."

"He might. Once this really hits, the fallout, he could be better, it could get worse. Thanks, Perry."

Lois drove the men back to the Kent farm in silence. Martha Kent greeted them on the porch, and always the perfect hostess, had prepared lunch.

"Lois, Clark is down by the lake. Could you go and call him to eat."

"I don't think he'll come, but I'll try."

Lois walked down the hill, and there he was, staring into the lake, his shoulders slumped, his head down.

Lois didn't call to him, she just moved to stand beside him.

"Clark, Perry and Jimmy are here. Your mom is stuffing them, do you want to come and eat."

"I wish they hadn't come. It makes it real."

"I know. But it is real, Clark. You can't ignore it, you have to deal with it. It's been three days. I left you alone at first, realizing that you needed time, but it's just gone too far now.

"You haven't spoken to your mother or me since it happened. You've suffered a terrible loss, Clark, but it's not only your loss. That is the one thing I never thought I'd have to say to Clark Kent, mild-mannered, selfless reporter, you're not the only one that matters here."

"I know, Lois. I know, and if it was just losing Dad, I'd be able to deal with it, but it's…"he trailed off. He wanted to say it, to blurt it out, but the words stuck in his throat, and he remained silent.

"What is it, Clark? There's never been anything you couldn't tell me."

"I guess it's just I'm afraid of losing everyone else. Lois, I've never told you this, but Jonathan and Martha Kent aren't my real folks. I mean, they are, but they're not my birth parents."

"Oh, Clark. You're adopted?"

"More like taken in. I was found in that old field by Mom and Dad."

"What happened to you biological parents?"

"They were killed in an explosion."

There was nothing but truth in what he said. Lois knew that Superman's parents were killed when the planet exploded. What she didn't know was how old he had been or what had happened to him, how he had ended up here. It was all she could do not to say that she knew the truth, but she knew if she did that, she wouldn't be able to help him recover . If Clark didn't tell her, she'd confront him, later, after the hurt had healed.

"So you've lost your father all over again, and now you're afraid of losing your mother."

"Yes, and I'm afraid of losing you."

"Me, Clark, you'll never lose me."

"Someday, I will, Lois. Just like Mom lost Dad, someday, I'll lose you, and I don't think that I could handle that."

Lois couldn't hold it in any longer. She threw her arms around Clark, forcing him to hold her. She understood why he felt that was. He was Superman, he couldn't die, not really, and if he could, it would take a lot longer for him to die than anyone else he knew. Clark would have to watch while everone he loved died. For awhile, she'd be there to hold him, but one day, it would be her that was dead. For all his power and strength, death was the one thing he could not stop.

Clark caught Lois as she catpulted into his arms and pulled her to him. Just holding her he felt safe, guilt releaved for the first time in days. Who was he to question fate, look at all he had, and look at all he could lose.

Lois gently pulled away and smiled up at him, "Let's go back. Your mom is waiting."

Clark and Lois walked back to the house hand in hand. He still hadn't cried, so she knew that he hadn't completely dealt with his father's death. But hopefully, with time, he come to terms, release the grief she knew he must be feeling, and become regular old Clark.

Martha Kent greeted them on the porch. Clark released Lois and enveloped his mother in a hug.

"I miss him so much," she said against his chest.

"I know, mom, but like you always said, it's another turn in the road, and if you have someone there, there is nothing that you can't handle, but I'm here, so we'll get through this, you'll see."

Lois slipped in the house, leaving mother and son alone together. She noted each of their stances and could tell, just by looking that tomorrow would be a difficult day for everyone.