Therapy Confinement
by: Sara van Bussel
feedback: as review or e-mail
setting: 6th season
rating: g
keywords: angst and romance - Niles/CC
summary: A new therapist and time ticking by are the start for some big changes
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"Welcome CC" The woman stood from her chair and shook CC's hand.
No matter how strong CC felt she should be, she was extremely nervous for this.
The woman who had shaken her hand was Dr. Jones, her new therapist. Dr. Bort
had gone on her pension, and left her practice to Dr Jones. Dr Bort had tried
to make the transit easier for CC, since CC had been coming to Dr Bort for more
than 20 years. But that still did not take away the feeling of being scared.
"Uh, hello." She said, looking around. Luckily the office still looked the same.
CC sat down on the couch.
"Now CC, I know this is very strange and difficult. But I assure it will be
ok. Now, I would like to start with a new thing for you. This is for me to get
to know you a little better, and for you to get some perspective on your life."
Dr Jones got a tape recorder from her desk drawer and placed it on the desk.
"I would like you to lay back on the couch and close you eyes. I will ask you
questions, and you have to answer them honestly. Don't feel uncomfortable or
shy, this is all confined to this room."
CC did as she was told. She heard Dr Jones press the record button and get a
paper.
"First question, what is your full name?"
"Chastity Claire Katherine Maria Babcock Younge"
"Marital status?"
"Divorced."
"Children?"
"One, but she passed away when she was 1 year old." CC felt the old feeling
of tears come up, but forced them away. She wanted to continue with the session.
"What kind of work do you do?"
"I am a Broadway producer together with Maxwell Sheffield."
"Where do you live?"
"In a penthouse on the west side."
"Alone?"
"I have one dog, a pomeranian called Chester."
"Now, this is maybe somewhat personal, but please keep on answering. Do you
have a boyfriend?"
"No. I dated several men, but it never worked out."
"Why?"
"They accused me of either smothering them, or of cheating."
"Did you ever do either of those things?"
"I never cheated. No matter what people might think, when it comes to relationships
I am faithful. But I might have smothered."
"Why?"
"Because I found out that the reason they thought I was cheating was that I
didn't seem to have time for them. So I gave them a lot of time, but that was
too much."
"So it seems you have a problem with dosing your love."
"So it seems."
"Are you in love at the moment?"
CC's heart skipped a beat. Would she dare to say it? She never had before. Not
even to Chester, for fear of some way that it would get out. But this was confidential.
Maybe she could do it. "Yes."
"And he, is he in love with you?"
"Never." CC felt the familiar pain creep up her throat.
"Why not? You seem to have everything going for you. You have money, a job,
and you are pretty."
"I'm not very easy to be with. Especially not with him. I haven't treated him
well."
"You already had a relationship with him?"
"No, he works in the same house where I work."
"Maxwell Sheffield?"
"Oh no, Maxwell is married. I never loved him. No, it is his butler."
"His butler. Ok. And why haven't you treated him nice? What happened?"
"Nothing particular happened. I have always been brought up with the rule never
to mix with the help. So I didn't. But he kept bothering me. And at one point
we started insulting each other. Calling each other names, playing pranks on
each other."
"Aha, the classic love/hate relationship."
"So it seems. But in his case probably more hate than love. He made it clear
on various occasions he hates me. He hurt me, physically and mentally. But no
matter what he does, I will still love him. Just in silence. Bringing it out
in the open wouldn't do anybody any good."
"You are afraid of rejection?"
"I know he'll never believe me, or return my feelings."
"But there is more isn't there?"
"Yes." Now it was time CC spoke out her biggest secret. "I'm pregnant."
"And who is the father?"
"He is. I... I made him. On the night of Maxwell and Fran's wedding, I knew
I could conceive. So I stopped using the pill, and I hid all protection. Then
I seduced Niles by making him drunk. He hasn't been with a woman in a long time,
it was easy. We slept together, and I was right. A month later I found out I
was pregnant."
"You didn't tell him?" Dr Jones was getting interrested. This was better than
her regular soap.
"No, I am afraid to. What if he makes me abort the baby? I couldn't take the
loss of another child."
"Another child, yes. Where did your first child die off?"
"She.. She had an accident. Her father took her to the pool, and while he was
fooling around with the maid he let her drown. He had enough lawyers to blame
it on the maid, but I divorced him after that. I loved her so much." CC couldn't
keep her tears inside anymore. "I never felt more alone. I moved to New York,
and there I started to work for Maxwell. I started over. I stayed away from
children, everybody reminded me of my Kathy. But now I want another baby, I
don't want to be alone anymore. And if I can't have Niles, I can have his baby."
"I'm sorry CC. How far along are you know?"
"10 weeks. Soon it will start to show."
"And what will you tell everybody then? Who is the father?"
"An unknown one night stand."
"They will believe you?"
"They know better than to go against me."
"Ok. I am sorry, but we have to end this therapy session, your time is up. I
would like to continue next time. In the mean time, take your tape with you,
and listen to it. Maybe it will give you a new look on things." Dr Jones helped
CC up, and handed her the tape.
Outside CC decided to go to the nearby coffee bar to get some coffee, and get
her emotions under control. This therapist was a lot different then Dr Bort.
Dr Bort had learned her to hide the strong emotions of her past. To live with
them without dealing with them. It seemed Dr Jones wanted the opposite. Bring
them out, use them, live with them. She liked it, even though it was going to
be very hard. Maybe some good would come out of this.
Her feelings towards the new method Dr Jones used had changed a lot since the
day before. Somewhere between leaving her therapy session yesterday and this
moment, where she was just home from a day work at the Sheffield she had lost
her tape. If someone found it she was ruined. Her past would get to the paper,
and they would know she had used Niles. She was bursting into tears. She saw
no way out anymore. What could she do? She had phoned the Sheffields, but they
hadn't found anything. Neither had the coffee shop. She must have lost somewhere
on the street.
She decided there was nothing more she could do, she would just wait tomorrow.
Maybe someone would return the tape to her.
Meanwhile a man was sitting in his car in a parking lot in front of a big apartment complex on the west side. He was crying. He pressed rewind on the tape and listened again. He wrote something down on a piece of paper, and went to the doorman, and handed him the tape and the note. He got back in his car and drove off.
The next morning CC had her tape back. The note that came with it said the person had listened and was very sorry. He promised he would be silent. CC decided to trust this person, because otherwise worries would eat her up inside. And now she had new worries. Niles was gone. Maxwell only said he had taken time off. He didn't even know how long. He didn't know where he went, and why. CC didn't like this at all. First the tape, then Niles.
Niles was so tired of everything, he needed time away. He decided to do some traveling around, to get his head straightened out. He didn't know when he would be back, but Maxwell had said it didn't mind. He deserved some time off.
"Welcome back CC. I heard from my receptions you had some troubles after our
last session?" Dr Jones led CC into her office where they both assumed their
positions, CC on the couch, Dr Jones on the desk.
"Yes. I lost my tape, and was very nervous about it. But someone returned it
to me with the promise to keep things silent."
"Oh my god, that is very serious indeed. I realize that a tape like that could
do serious damage to your carreer."
"It could. But it didn't. And I would like to continue, including the tapes."
"I'm glad. Well, I have some more questions for you so shall we get started
right away?"
"Ok." CC lay back down on the couch like she had done a week before.
"So how are things between you and Niles? Has he said something about your stomach,
I see it is beginning to show."
CC smiled and rubbed her belly. "It does." Then her smile disappeared. "Niles
is gone."
"Gone?"
"He took an uncertain amount of time off and left. Maxwell doesn't know where
to and when he'll be back."
"What are you going to do now?"
"Leave."
"Leave? Where to? Why?"
"Because I wanted to see Niles' reaction to me being pregnant. If he is not
there, I don't want anybody to know. I am not ready for questions yet. I think
I'll go to my summer house. It's my old house in California. I made some big
changes since 21 years ago, but I still use it. I go back at least once a year.
No one knows where it is."
"For how long."
"At least 7 to 8 months. I need to have my baby there. I don't want them to
be with me."
"And what if Niles returns?"
"I... I don't know. I think I'll give him the tape."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. If he doesn't want to deal with it, he doesn't have to. I can stay in
California if I want to. If he doesn't want the baby or me. And if he just wants
the baby we can work something out."
"And if he wants you and the baby?"
"He doesn't want that."
"Why not?"
"Because I used him."
"Mhh. What will you tell Maxwell?"
"That I need to take a year off to think things over. He knows I have been having
emotional problems. And I can arrange a replacement."
"It sounds like you have been thinking this through."
"I have, and I am certain of what I want to do."
"So this also means no more therapy?"
"Yes. I want to try it on my own. I have friends over there that can help me."
"Good. I think you can. Is there anything I can do?"
"If Niles comes here to ask where I am, give him this." CC handed Dr Jones an
envelope.
"I'll do that. Take good care of yourself CC." CC stood up and shook Dr Jones
hand one last time. Then she left. One part of her plan was now ready. Before
she would tell Maxwell she needed to do something else first.
She looked around if she spotted anybody. Fran and the children where all out,
Maxwell was in the office working, and Niles was still gone. But still, nobody
could see her here. She opened the door.
She looked around and realized she had never been here before. It was Niles'
room, but it could just as well have been a hotel room. No pictures of family
or anything. Just one painting of a farm. The bed was placed against the wall.
A chest of drawers stood on the opposite wall under the window. This would be
the perfect spot. She opened one of the drawers. There where books in there,
and some old pictures of Niles and Maxwell. But no pictures of Niles' parents.
CC quickly put the small package in the drawer, and left it open a little bit.
This way Niles would find it easier.
After leaving Niles' room she had gone down to Maxwell's office and told him
of her plan. He was not happy of course, but he understood. Even he had seen
the change in CC's behavior, and the need to be alone, to sort things out. He
had accepted her years leave, and told her she could come back anytime.
She hadn't told him where she was going. If he needed to reach her he could
call her cell phone, or use her e-mail.
She would leave the next morning, there wasn't much she needed to pack. She
had bought a first class ticket to Los Angeles, and two suitcases was all she
would take with her. She would leave her apartment furnished so she could come
to stay in New York anytime she wanted without being a burden on the Sheffields.
The next afternoon she was in her home near LA. She was looking out the window
to the beach. Luckily she had called a week before, and her maid had cleaned
and supplied the house.
It had really felt like coming home. No matter what the history was, she loved
this house. She had removed the pool where the accident had happened 21 years
ago. There was another pool in the basement, and she would use that now. If
she wanted a tan she would go to the private beach.
She walked through all the rooms in the house, just checking if everything was
clean and still there. She stopped at the room which used to belong to Kathy.
It was clean and it looked like the little girl could come back any minute now.
But CC knew she wouldn't. She decided this would be the new baby room.
CC was tired, and since her doctor had ordered her to get plenty of rest, she
decided to go to bed early.
Weeks, maybe even months had passed. CC didn't know anymore. The only time
she went by was the time of her little boy. She now knew she would have a boy
in 13 weeks. She really showed now, and felt it to. He kicked her regularly,
but she had found her ways of calming him down. She found out that if she played
the piano he would calm down. So she played a lot, learning herself new songs,
and also children songs for when her boy would ask for it when he was born.
She hadn't heard from Niles. Maxwell had called several times during the first
weeks, but found out that every time she would ask for Niles, and when he said
that he still wasn't back, she would become absent from the conversation. After
a while Maxwell promised to call if Niles came back.
Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her back. The pain was so intense she fell
to the ground. She couldn't move and yelled for help. Her maid had heard her
and quickly called an ambulance. Then she ordered her maid to call Maxwell,
to tell him she needed help.
Niles loved the traveling. He had met a small jazz band, and they had asked
him to play the piano for them. He loved the life on the road. It was a nice
afternoon in the Florida sun. Niles and his friends were sitting outside, just
barbecuing.
Niles' cell phone went, and Niles walked away from the group to get the call.
"Hello, this is Niles."
"Niles, this is Charles. You don't know me, but I have news about CC. She
has left Maxwell about 3 months ago, a week after you. But she needs your help.
I don't know where she is, but I believe that you can find that out by returning
home. It's urgent Niles, and important for both you and her that you return
to the Sheffields as soon as you can."
"Who are you, and how do you know all this?"
"I am a close friend of CC. Please believe me."
Then Charles hung up. Niles was all confused. CC had left? She wouldn't do that.
Her life with the Sheffields was everything to her. Then again his life with
the Sheffields used to be everything to him too. He decided to call Maxwell
to ask him. He dialed the number, and heard Maxwell pick up.
"Sheffield-Babcock productions this is Maxwell Sheffield speaking."
"Hello sir, this is Niles."
"Oh hello Niles, how are you? Having fun?"
"Uhm yeah. Listen sir. I need to know something. Uhm... Is Miss Babcock
there?"
"No Niles, I am sorry. She left us about three months ago. She was very
confused emotionally and took a year off. She moved away. I don't know where."
"So it's true."
"What Niles?"
"Oh nothing sir. Listen, I'll come home in the next few days, but I have
a feeling I'll be gone soon after."
"That's ok Niles."
"Tell Mrs. Sheffield and the children I said hi. See you soon."
"See you soon Niles." They both hung up.
Niles walked back to the group. "Guys, I am sorry. I have to leave you.
I can't be with you tonight either. There is trouble back home and I need to
be there. I'm very sorry."
The band started talking, but no matter what they said they couldn't convince
him to stay. He had to leave. So they gave him whatever money they had, to pay
for his piano playing. Niles took the money and said goodbye to everybody, promising
to call.
He took a cab to the airport where he bought a last minute ticket to New York.
The same evening he was back at the mansion. He quickly went to his room to
put away his stuff before he started his search for CC. When he wanted to put
back his socks in his drawer he saw that the top drawer was partly open. He
looked inside and saw a strange package. He got it out and looked. It said "To
Niles".
He opened it, and found inside a tape and two letters. He read the first letter.
"Niles,
Please first read the letter before listening to the tape,
CC."
He opened the envelope containing the second letter.
"Dear Niles,
When you read this letter it might all be over, or just beginning. I have no
idea where you are or when you will be home, so this was the only way to do
it.
You know now I have also left. It has to do with you. Where were you Niles?
I have never been more worried about you than now.
I left for at least a year. I told Maxwell that if you weren't back by then
he should try to mail you this package. This you need to know.
The tape contains all the information you have to know. It's a recording of
a therapy session. I once lost the tape for a short amount of time, but obviously
it wasn't you who found it. Otherwise everything would have been different.
Things would be clearer.
The reason I wanted you to read the letter first was that there has to be kind
of a warning. The things on the tape change things between us forever, even
though they already have changed. If you want to see me again, you must listen.
If you don't care if you ever see me again, don't listen. Please decide before
you listen, give me that bit of reinsurance. I couldn't bare the fact that you
would just listen to make fun of me. I can understand that you will be angry
after listening, and never want to see me again. I'll give you that. What I
did was very low. If you do want to see me again, go to Dr Jones' office (Dr
Bort's old office), they know where I am.
In short, just listen if you care.
CC Babcock."
"If I didn't care, I would have staid in Florida." Niles said to
himself while he put the tape in his walkman.
He listened and soon had tears in his eyes. He didn't even think to be angry
at her, how could he? Her reasons were clear. And he didn't see it. Maxwell
said that he had seen her emotional troubles, why hadn't he? He was blinded
by his trip. He didn't even bother to unpack, he decided to go to Dr Jones office
immediately. He needed to know where she was. If his calculations were right,
she was now 24 weeks along, and he wanted to be there with her for the last
twelve.
He reached Dr Jones' office only to find that it was now Dr Chung's office.
He decided to try anyway, but the only English the receptionist knew was "No
Dr. Jones" and "You leave now! Police!". He left quickly.
He knew that now Maxwell was his only option. Surely she would have spoken to
him? He went back home and went directly to the office.
"Niles! Old man, you are back!" Maxwell rose to shake Niles' hand.
But Niles' attention was somewhere else, Maxwell could tell. "What's wrong?"
"Where is Miss Babcock?"
"I don't know Niles."
"Don't you know anything? A hunch? A telephone number? Something?"
"I have her cell phone number."
"Please give it to me."
"I don't know Niles. She left because of you she said."
"You listen here sir. She left because she is pregnant with my baby. I
hope you can understand I want to be there with her. If she is in trouble I
couldn't bare it. Do you understand?!" Niles said angry.
"Your child?" Maxwell was surprised.
"Yes. You better keep this silent, but it's true. Now, could I have her
number?"
"Of course. Here it is." Maxwell handed him a piece of paper.
"Thank you sir. Sorry I overreacted that way."
"Never mind Niles. Go call her."
Niles went back to his room and decided to use his phone. He didn't need any
eavesdroppers.
CC was lying in a hospital bed. Everything was ok with her and the baby, but
she needed to stay in bed for the remaining weeks of her pregnancy. The doctor
and nurses had just left, and she had sent her maid home. Just when CC tried
to sleep her cell phone went. She quickly grabbed it, hoping it to be Maxwell.
"Hello?"
"CC?"
"Oh my God. Niles?" CC got tears in her eyes. This was the last person
she expected.
"CC? Are you alright?" Niles got anxious. After not speaking to her,
and seeing her for such a long time, and then hearing her voice.
"Oh God Niles. Where have you been?"
"Traveling. I am sorry CC. If only I had known. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't Niles. I really couldn't."
"I understand. Where are you, I want to see you."
"I, I am in a hospital in LA."
"Hospital? CC? What is wrong?"
"There is something wrong with… I don't know. My back. I have to stay in
bed till my boy is born."
"I'm coming over right away."
Even before CC could answer he had put down the phone. He decided to go straight
to the airport without packing. He would just take his credit card and get the
first ticket to LA.
With his luck he was there the following day. He went straight to the nearest
hospital, where CC was. He knocked on her door.
CC turned around in her bed and faced the door. "Come in?"
Niles opened the door, not sure what he would find. On the bed he saw CC. But
she had changed. Her hair was longer, and of course her belly had grown. She
was lying on her back with the bed slightly tilted up. "Oh my God. CC."
He moved slowly closer, not sure what to do.
"Come here Niles." CC pointed to the chair next to her bed.
He sat down, keeping his eyes on her, and her belly.
CC noticed his attention to her belly. "Give me your hand."
Niles lifted his hand and CC took it in hers. Then she put it on her belly,
where the baby boy was kicking. Their baby boy.
Niles was amazed at the feeling. He was more amazed but the look of devoted
love CC got on her face when she looked at her belly. Then their eyes locked.
"Niles, I…."
"CC?" Niles stood and leaned closer. Just before he kissed her he
whispered "I'm sorry."
When they broke apart they kept close. "No, I am sorry Niles. I shouldn't
have done this. I should have told you. I shouldn't have left." A tear
ran down her cheek.
"Ssh CC. It was also my fault." He wiped her tear away.
"No Niles. I used you. Not the other way around."
"Maybe so. But if I told you that I loved you in the first place you wouldn't
have needed to. And if I hadn't left you wouldn't either. Then maybe we would
have been able to work things out."
"You… You…" CC's eyes were as big as saucers.
"Love you. I love you CC. Even before all this. Even before the engagement
of Fran and Max. Even before our first kiss."
"And you didn't tell me?"
"No. Just like you I thought you hated me."
"We have been stupid."
"Yes, but that will end now, right?"
"Right. I can go home today, want to come with me?" CC asked, smiling.
"Of course. My guess is you'll need help?"
"Yes, and who better to ask then butler boy?"
Niles smiled, and started packing CC's small bag.
