Disclaimer: I do NOT own 'I Love Lucy' or any of the characters.
Enjoy ... I hope. I hope you enjoy it!
"Hello?" Lucy asked, picking up the ringing phone. "Hi Ethel."
"Lucy? What are you doing? Do you mind if I come up for a while?" Ethel said.
"No, I'm sorry Ethel. I'm going shopping. Why?"
"Well, Fred's out, and I'm just bored. There's nobody to bug."
"Well, why don't you come with me?"
"No, thanks. Maybe next time..."
"Okay, see ya' later, Ethel."
"Bye, Lucy."
Right after hanging up the phone, Lucy left.
p
Down at the market, Lucy was getting everything that was necessasry. And, a few things that weren't. But it was when she was on her way home that she saw it. No, it can't be ... Looks like Fred. Who's that woman he's with? Must be a friend of his. Lucy didn't know what to do next. She had just seen Fred *KISS* that girl on the cheek. They were now laughing, and seemed to be having a lot of fun. Oh no. I've got to tell Ethel. No, I can't tell Ethel. She'll be heartbroken. But she's got to know sometime. No, I just CAN'T tell her. Well ... no! No, I won't tell her. And I won't let Fred tell her either. I've got to make Fred realize that Ethel's important, too. But I can't let Ethel know. So, I've got to give Fred some sense, while at the same time keep Ethel from finding out about that girl. Okay.
p
Lucy rushed home. When she got there, she called Ethel. "Ethel, I just got home. Could you come up here, and help me with the groceries? Okay. Thanks, Ethel."
A few minutes later, Ethel got there. "Hi Ethel."
"Hi Lucy. Boy, you sure DID get a lot." Ethel said, noticing the bags.
"Yeah. Sure you don't mind?"
"No. Not at all!"
"Okay."
While they were unloading the bag, Lucy looked out the window, and saw Fred coming home. WITH the girl. Okay hot shot. Now what?
"Ethel," she said. "You keep at this. I'll be right back, I just forgot something."
"Okay."
p
Lucy went over to the Martzes apartment, and knocked on the door. When Fred answered, she greeted him, "Hi Fred."
"Hi Lucy. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just thought I'd stop and chat."
"Oh. Well, Lucy, this is Miranda."
"Hi," Lucy said nervously. "You love him?"
Miranda smiled, "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
"I ... have to be going now." Lucy said.
"You just got here," Fred objected.
"Sorry Fred. But I gotta' go. I'll stop by later."
"Alright," Fred said.
p
Lucy hurried back to her own apartment, "Sorry I took so long."
"That's okay. I'm almost finished."
"So ... what was Fred out doing?"
"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me."
"You ... think he's hiding something?"
"Like what," Ethel said sarcastically. "Another girl? HAH! Fred? Come on Lucy, if you're gonna' try to make me nervous, make it something believable."
"Yeah," Lucy said, laughing nervously, "Fred with another girl. Is that Ricky out there?"
Before Ethel could stop her, Lucy ran out the door...
p
... And over to the Mertzes apartment. She didn't even bother to knock. Miranda was sitting on the couch. "Hi," Lucy said. "Where's Fred?"
"He's getting me a drink. Are you thirsty? I can have him get you one."
"No. I'm not thirsty. I just wanted to tell you. I think what you're doing is very dishonest!"
"Oh? What am I doing?"
"You're ... you're ... uh ... treating Fred like a servant. Yeah. That's what you're doing, alright."
"Servant? Why would I do that. It's like I told you, I love him. Why would I treat him like that?" Miranda asked, feeling offended.
"Nevermind." Lucy heard Fred's footsteps coming from the kitchen, and she decided to leave, before he saw her ... again.
p
"Nope. Guess it wasn't Ricky after all," Lucy said, coming back into her own apartment.
"Well," Ethel called from the living room, "I'm all finished in there."
"Okay. I'm sorry Ethel."
"I don't mind. But if that's all you wanted, I think I'll go home."
"No!" Lucy screamed. She hadn't meant for it to come out like that - as desperate as it did.
"Why?"
"You ... you can't go home!"
"What," Ethel said with a chuckle. "Why not?"
"Well, uh ... you, uh ... I need you're opinion. What do you think I should fix Ricky for dinner?"
"What!? Lucy, I think you've finally lost it."
"No Ethel, I mean it! You look in the kitchen, see what we have, and tell me what you think I should fix."
"Lucy, I already know what's in your kitchen. I just put all your groceries away, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Well ... you might have missed something."
"Honestly, Lucy. Alright."
"Good! I'll be right back."
"Where are you going now?"
"Oh ... uh ... out. Bye Ethel."
Before Ethel could ask any more questions, Lucy rushed out the door - again - to go to the Mertzes. Again, she didn't bother to knock. "That girl has got to go," she told Fred.
"What!?" Fred asked.
"She has to leave!" Lucy exclaimed. "Where is she, anyway?" Lucy asked, noticing Miranda was not in the room.
"In the bathroom," Fred replied. "And why does she have to leave?"
Lucy looked accusingly at Fred, "Because Ethel is -- "
Lucy didn't get a chance to finish, because Ethel walked in. "There you are," Ethel said to Lucy. "I think you should fix a ham dinner. And why are you over here?"
"Oh ... no reason."
"Hi Ethel," said Fred. "When's dinner gonna' be ready?"
"Can I start it first?" Ethel asked. Lucy was completely nervous with Fred, Ethel, AND Miranda, all in the same apartment.
"Ethel," Lucy started.
"No." Ethel finished. "You're crazy, and I don't even wanna' know what you have to say."
Just then Miranda walked out, she got a pleasant look on her face, "Ethel!"
Ethel got the same look, "Miranda! Oh, what are you doing in town?"
"Why, I'm visiting you and Freddie."
"Well, I'm glad you're here."
"You ... you two know each other?" Lucy said, shocked.
"Of course. I didn't meet her until me and Fred's wedding. But she's still the best sister-in-law anybody could ask for!" Ethel said to Lucy.
Lucy couldn't believe it. "S - S - Sister-in-law?"
"Yeah," Ethel said. "You know. When you get married, your husband's family becomes in-law's."
"You're Fred's sister!?" Lucy half exclaimed / half asked.
"Well, what else did you expect?" Miranda asked.
"I ... I ... I have to go be a ham - I mean FIX a ham. I have to go fix a ham. See ya' Fred. Ethel. Miranda."
"Good-bye, Lucy," Ethel said. "Maybe you and Ricky can drop by for dinner tomorrow. Get to know Miranda a little." Then she turned to Miranda, "you are going to be here tomorrow?"
"Yes, Ethel, I am."
"Good. How 'bout it Lucy?" Ethel asked.
"I'll call you when I get my foot out of my mouth." Lucy said, then left.
His SISTER! And I thought... Maybe I should fix myself for a ham ...
THE END
Okay! I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know...
