Kiros didn't often show outward surprise, but the shock he felt at what Laguna had told him made him sit for a second with his mouth hanging open. "What?" he finally said, feeling somewhat stupid.
"Last night," Laguna went on. "or maybe it was two nights ago. What's today? Anyway, it was some stupid accident. Godammit," he said, suddenly angry. "She has a little kid, you know? And it's right before her kid's birthday."
"That's right," Kiros said quietly, "she and Caraway..." He trailed off, as he realized why the man with the little girl had been so familiar to him. It was general Caraway and his young daughter - Julia's daughter - that he had seen the night before. The little girl's hysterics finally made sense to him, and he swallowed the bitter taste that was suddenly in his mouth.
"What is it?" Laguna said, watching him carefully.
"I think I might have heard part of it on the radio, that's all," he said. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Laguna that he had seen Julia's daughter and she was a complete wreck.
Laguna nodded. "Yeah, I guess you might've," he said. "It's all over the radio. 'Popular singer Julia Heartilly - Caraway was killed last night in a traffic accident at the age of twenty eight. She is survived by her husband, General Caraway of the Galbadian army, and her young daughter,'" he went on, imitating the cold voice of the newsreaders he had heard. "Like it's nothing," he said. "Like it's some piece of gossip, you know? And I wonder sometimes if in Winhill..."
Laguna didn't finish the sentence and Kiros didn't ask. He knew that Laguna was thinking about what people might have said about his wife after she had died.
"It doesn't matter," Laguna finally said. "I don't really have much of anything anymore. I'm not a solider, a husband, or even much of a writer anymore. I tried to go back to writing but, I don't know. I think it's just gone."
"You never lose a gift like that," Kiros said. He remembered some of the things Laguna had written, specifically some of his work that he never published. He had thought it would be too passionately political at the time and had been his own worst censor. And it always amazed Kiros how Laguna, who was the laziest speaker he had ever heard, had perfect grammar when he wrote. Kiros might have grown up as a soldier, but certainly not to the exclusion of everything else, and he knew art when he read it. "An artist never totally loses their gift," he told Laguna. "Talent doesn't just disappear one day."
"Thanks," Laguna said, and Kiros knew that he didn't believe him.
"So," Kiros said, purposely changing the subject, "is the Adel Resistance in Esthar still courting you as their leader?"
Laguna laughed cynically, a cold, hard sound that Kiros had never heard from him before. It made his stomach jump. "They were never serious about that," Laguna said listlessly. "Plus, now that Adel's gone, they really don't have much to resist from her, right? Except her followers, but no one knows who they might be. I guess they sorta fell apart." He looked at Kiros and managed a weak smile. "Well," he said with a sigh, "why not tell me what you've been up to? What brought you to Timber? You didn't come all the way out here to rescue me, did you?" He smiled again, and for a second he looked bright and sincere, as he had when they were soldiers together.
"Don't flatter yourself," he said with a smirk. It was obvious to him that Laguna wanted to change the subject, but didn't want to stop talking yet. "It sounds funny, but I came out here to talk to a man about Tonberry knives. I wanted to upgrade the katal and those sounded like the best things to use. But I can't find any."
Laguna nodded and absently scratched his head in a gesture that Kiros had seen him make a million times. "Yeah, I've heard of Tonberries," he said. "A few of them have made their way to Centra I think, and that area. I hear they're really vicious though. Were you going to fight them all on your own?"
Kiros shrugged. He hadn't actually thought about that part yet. "I don't know, really. I guess it might be dangerous. Plus," he added with a smile, "I'm not as effective without you and Ward by my side. By the way, you said you'd heard from Ward. What's he up to?"
Laguna frowned for a second, then began to smile. He giggled for a moment, then contained himself. He began to make Kiros nervous, because suddenly his eyes looked a little too bright, and he started to laugh out loud.
"What?" Kiros asked. "What's funny?"
Laguna didn't answer, but seemed to find his question even funnier. He pounded his fist on the bed as he laughed harder. His eyes were wet and Kiros suspected that he was laughing and crying at the same time. He realized that his friend was in the middle of a nervous breakdown, and he sat back and waited for Laguna to let him in on what was so hilarious.
"He's..." Laguna began in a choked voice, "actually," he said, composing himself and hitching in his breath, "actually we were both... we were looking for you. Ironically, we were both..." he started laughing again, and fell to his side, "looking... for you!"
Kiros didn't quite see the humor in that. Instead, he felt a terrible guilt, that he had not been able to contact them and let them know he was at least alright. In a way, he felt responsible for Laguna, and wished that he had been there for him in what must have been his worst year since Raine's death.
Laguna sighed as his laughter died down. "He's in Esthar," he said, and cleared his throat. "We looked for you in the Desert Prison, because when Ward worked there he really learned how to get around there. Then we split up."
"I'm sorry," Kiros said.
"Why?" Laguna asked, looking naively surprised. "What did you do?"
Kiros wanted to laugh. His friend could seem so innocent at times. "I'm just sorry for disappearing on you. I had no way of contacting you. I'll tell you all about it another time."
"Do you think we should go to Esthar for Ward?" Laguna asked. "Or should we let him worry some more."
Kiros smiled. "That's mean," he said, knowing that Laguna was joking. "There's no underwater train to Esthar. We'll have to take the shuttle boat."
