A/N: All right, folks! Here's the part you've all been waiting for - The Game! I know, I've changed some of the rules slightly in the interest of time and confusion. Enjoy!
Ron Weasley arrived at the door of Hogwarts library pink-faced
and out of breath. He could hear Hermione thundering down the
hallway behind him, yelling something nasty. He grinned. Perhaps
he was going to enjoy this even more than he imagined. He quickly
opened the library door and hurried inside.
The other contestants were already there. They were sitting in
a row along one wall, looking nervous and uncomfortable. Except
for Draco Malfoy, Ron noted, who was looking smug as usual.
"You're late. Sit down." Madam Pince ordered him curtly,
nearly pushing him into his seat at the end of the row.
"Hello, there. This ought to be exciting, eh?" Justin
Finch-Fletchley whispered quietly to Ron. Ron smiled weakly.
"Where's this famous woman?" he asked.
"Still getting ready. Probably oiling her whips and chains,
I expect."
"Whips and wha -?" Ron stuttered in surprise. Perhaps
this game show thing was not his cup of tea after all.
"Haha - just joking with you, Ron. I forgot, you've probably
never seen this show before, have you?"
Just then, the library door burst open and in dashed a very frazzled
looking Hermione. She had found the time to go back to the dormitory
and was now sporting a Weakest Link t-shirt over her school
robes. Ron clapped his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing
as Hermione took the last empty chair at the other end of the
row.
She was just in time, too. At that moment, a door at the far
end of the library opened and in strode a very severe looking
woman with auburn hair, glasses, and very stern eyes. She was
wearing a long black coat that looked very much like the robes
the faculty wore. She walked purposely to the front of the room,
and fixed the students with a menacing stare. Everyone squirmed
under her gaze, except for Hermione, who was looking as though
she was about to meet Santa Claus, and Malfoy, who was too much
of a prat to be scared.
"Are we ready to play the weakest link?" she
asked.
The students nodded solemnly, except for Malfoy, who began to
snigger under his breath. She was on him instantly.
"What is your name?" she barked.
"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."
"Do you find something amusing you would like to share with
the rest of the group?"
"No, miss."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to put a damper on your good
time."
"No, miss."
"Right then, let me introduce myself. I am Anne Robinson,
host of The Weakest Link." She said all this in a
very fast, dry tone, and the students remained rooted to the spot,
listening.
"Let me explain the rules of the game for those of you who
are not familiar with the show. You will be playing for house
points instead of money, obviously. Players need to bank points
in order for them to go on to the next round. At the end of each
round you will vote for who you think is the weakest link. The
player left at the end of the game will be declared the strongest
link and win all the points for his or her house. Everyone else
gets nothing. Are there any questions?"
No one dared to raise their hand. Anne Robinson glanced around
at them all again, her eyes coming to rest on Hermione.
"What is your name?"
"Hermione Granger."
"Where did you get that shirt?"
"I ordered it, from the Weakest Link fanclub."
"I see. Well you had better take it off. From what I understand,
it is not part of your school uniform."
Hermione looked as though she might cry.
"Busted!" Ron whispered gleefully under his breath.
"All right, we are ready to proceed to Great Hall. Contestants,
follow me."
The students followed Ms. Robinson out of the library and down
to the Great Hall. Dumbledore and a few other faculty members
were waiting there, having just finished setting up the elaborate
stage for the game. It was a half circle of little pedestals,
each with the name of a contestant printed on the screen in front.
In the center of the half circle was a larger pedestal for Anne
Robinson.
"Wow, this looks incredibly authentic. Just like on television!"
Justin marveled as the students entered the Great Hall.
"Welcome, welcome, Ms. Robinson! How do you do?" Dumbledore's
jovial voice carried across the hall as he strode over to shake
Anne Robinson's hand.
"Very well, sir. This all looks quite nice."
"Why thank you, we did want things to seem real for you
and those who are familiar with the show. Whenever you're ready,
we will call the audience down."
The student contestants took their places behind the pedestals
with their names on them. Ron moaned when he discovered that he
was standing between Hermione and Malfoy.
"Guess Potter was too chicken to show up, eh?" Malfoy
was snickering delightedly. Ron rolled his eyes. The rest of the
school was beginning to file in to the Great Hall now, taking
seats in the stands that were set up against the walls. Ron saw
Harry coming in and gave him a feeble wave. He was beginning to
wish that he was sitting in the stands instead of down here on
the floor, making an idiot of himself.
"When we are ready, I will ask you each to say your name
and your house. Then we will begin the game." Ms. Robinson
said, taking her place in the center.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, faculty, ghosts, and honored guests,
it is with great pleasure that I welcome you to this school-wide,
inter-house, Weakest Link Championship!" Dumbledore announced.
The audience roared with applause and cheers. "With no further
delay, Hogwarts proudly presents . . . The Weakest Link!"
Dumbledore sat down, and Anne Robinson addressed the crowd.
"Welcome to The Weakest Link! Let's meet our team
for this evening."
She gestured to the girl at the end to say her name.
"Susan Bones, Hufflepuff."
There was a thunderous cheer from the Hufflepuff side of the
room.
"Mandy Brocklehurst, Ravenclaw."
"Millicent Bulstrode, Slytherin."
"Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hufflepuff."
"Hermione Granger, Griffindor."
Ron gulped. Suddenly it was his turn, and it occurred to him
that he had never spoken in front of so many people before.
"R-Ron Weasley, Griffindor."
"Draco Malfoy, Slytherin."
"Terry Boot, Ravenclaw."
"Hey, why are all the players in the same year?" Ron
could hear Terry Boot whispering down at the end of the line.
"Good question." Justin Finch-Fletchley whispered back.
"Slytherin rules!" Draco Malfoy whispered to no one
imparticular, and then he made a face at Ron. Ron turned his gaze
back towards Anne Robinson, who was finishing up explaining the
rules to the audience.
"It's time to play The Weakest Link! Let's have two
minutes, thirty seconds on the clock, starting now!"
"Oh God, I'm going to be sick!" Hermione suddenly whispered,
and Ron gave her a strange look. Since when did Hermione get nervous
about quizzes and stuff like that?
"Susan, after what bird is the golden snitch named?"
"Er . . . the snidget!"
"Correct! Mandy, what is . . . "
Ron's heart was pounding so hard, he was sure that Hermione and
Malfoy must be able to hear it beating. The questions went by
so fast, Ron barely had time to register what was being said.
All of a sudden -
"Hermione, what author of the best-selling book Magical
Me -"
"Gilderoy Lockhart!" Hermione shouted before Anne Robinson
even finished the question.
"Correct. Ron, What candy uses the stingers of a Billywig
as the secret ingredient?"
"Oh! Oh! Its - Fizzing Whizbees!" Ron stammered in
a total panic.
"Correct! Draco, what professional Quidditch broom was first
featured during the World Cup tournament of 1967?"
"The Nimbus 1000!"
"Correct! Terry . . . "
Ron took a deep breath. The game was moving too fast for him
to think, let alone breathe. Draco was practically jumping up
and down after getting his question right. Ron had the urge to
knock him over the head, but then thought better of it.
"No, the correct answer was 'setting it on fire'. Susan,
what is -"
"Wait! What - she's going around again?!" Draco whispered
in a panic.
"Yes, you idiot! It keeps going until the two minutes are
up!" Ron hissed back, trying to focus himself. The first
two players got their questions wrong, and Anne was now moving
right along to,
"Millicent, what famous wizard first completed a trans-Atlantic
magic carpet flight in 1752?"
"Um, um, um . . . Albus Dumbledore?"
"Nope, I'm sorry, the correct answer was . . ."
"Oh, Millicent, you great toad! What kind of answer was
that?" Draco moaned under his breath.
"Hermione, what branch of the Ministry of Magic is in charge
of controlling dragon breeding?"
"The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical
Creatures."
"Correct! Ron, what is the name for an 8 eyed spider capable
of human intelligence?"
"Oh - er - it's a - um- Acromantula!"
"Yes. Draco, what was the first shop to be opened in Diagon
Alley in the fall of 1642?"
"Um - its was . . . oh, I know this . . . it was the
. . . the . . . "
"I'm sorry, your time is up. The correct answer was Flourish
& Blotts."
"Stupid bookstore." Draco muttered.
"Well team, in our first round you managed to bank 275 house
points. Those points will be carried over to the next round -
but one of you will not. Which one of you can't tell your wand
from a broomstick? One of you is about to leave with nothing.
It's time to vote off who you think is the weakest link!"
Ron picked up the pen that hung from the side of his pedestal.
He hesitated for a moment, and then wrote HERMIONE in big bold
letters. He could see Hermione smiling smugly beside him, and
knew that she had written down his name, the jerk.
"All right, voting over. Let's see who you think is the
weakest link! "
At the end of the row, Susan Bones was the first to reveal her
answer.
"Millicent."
"Millicent."
"Terry."
"Millicent."
"Ron."
"Hermione."
"HARRY POTTER!"
Anne Robinson frowned as Draco shouted his answer. The audience
began to laugh, and Draco glared around at them menacingly until
they stopped.
"Er- Millicent."
Anne paused for a moment, scanning the faces of her contestants.
"Draco?"
"Yes."
"You are aware that Harry Potter is not a contestant in
this game."
"Yes. But I'd just like to take this as another opportunity
to tell the world that Potter stinks! Hahaha!" Draco cried
before bursting into laughter.
"Clearly you have missed the entire purpose of the game,
so we will move along to - Hermione, is it?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I see that you are your house-mate have voted for one another.
Would you care to explain the strategy in that?"
"Um . . ."
"While Draco here has voted for someone who is not even
a contestant, at least he did vote for someone who he considers
to be his rival. Ron? Any thoughts?"
"Er . . . go . . . Griffindor?"
Anne Robinson sighed.
"Well, Millicent, it seems that you are not the only fool
on this panel. With 4 votes, you are the weakest link.
Goodbye!"
Millicent stomped off the stage glowering, while the audience
applauded. Ron gave Hermione a sideways glance. She refused to
look at him. Draco was still snickering.
"Round 2 everyone, with ten seconds coming off the clock
. . ."
Another fast-paced round began. Susan Bones got her question
right, but Mandy got her's wrong. Justin got his right, and Hermione
naturally got hers correct, and suddenly it was Ron's turn.
"Ron, what is mascot of the Irish Quidditch team?"
"The leprechaun."
"Correct. Draco . . . "
Another round flew by, and Ron was amazed to find the answers
seemed to just pop into his head and out of his mouth before he
even had a chance to think about it. At one point he caught sight
of Harry in the stands, who gave him the thumbs up.
" . . . 300 house points in that round. It's now time
for you to vote off who you think is the weakest link!"
Ron had the urge to write down Draco's name, but stuck with his
original plan and wrote down Hermione's.
"Terry."
"Draco."
"Terry."
"Ron."
"Hermione."
Terry."
"Draco."
"Well, well, well, I see that at least one of our contestants
has managed to get ahold of the voting process. Draco, why Terry?"
"Well, I think Terry is a great annoying prat, and I'm getting
sick of standing next to him."
"I see. Terry, do you have any response to that?"
"Well, Anne, I'm actually glad that I've been voted off,
if it means getting away from Malfoy. I think he was trying to
hex me all through the last round, to be honest."
"Slytherin rules! Haha!" was Draco's response.
"Hexing is not part of the game. With three votes, Terry,
you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"
Terry Boot exited the stage, the Ravenclaw side of the room booing
loudly.
"Would the Griffindors please stop trying to vote
one another off?!" Seamus Finnigan shouted loudly from the
stands, and a cheer of agreement went up from the Griffindor side
of the room. Ron turned and looked at Hermione. Surprisingly this
time she looked back.
"You're better than I thought." she said slowly.
"I know." Ron retorted hotly.
"Next round, let's vote for Draco, ok?" she whispered,
as Anne prepared to start round three.
"I'll think about it." Ron replied as the game began.
Round three heated up quickly. Susan Bones got her question wrong
- for the third time, Ron noted - but then Mandy, Justin, Hermione,
and Ron all managed to get their questions right.
"Malfoy, you had better bank!" Ron hissed.
"Draco, what is the smallest known breed of dragon still
found in the world today?"
"Erm - the Swedish Short-Snout."
"No, its the Peruvian Vipertooth."
"You idiot!" Ron glared at Malfoy, who shrugged innocently.
"Can't win 'em all, Weasley."
The other contestants were equally as upset. Susan Bones managed
to get her next question right, but slammed his fist down on the
front of her pedestal anyway. When the round ended, Anne Robinson
looked around at the them triumphantly.
"Well, players in that round you banked a measly, pathetic,
35 house points."
The entire room seemed to groan in unison.
"I urge you all to eject the idiot, and vote off who you
think is the weakest link!"
Ron abandoned the idea of voting for Hermione and quickly wrote
down Draco. He had a feeling everyone else was doing the same.
"All right, team, let's see who you think is the weakest
link!"
"Draco."
"Draco."
"Draco."
"Draco."
"Draco."
"Weasley."
"Draco, you seem to have upset your teammates in the last
round. How do you suppose that happened?"
"Oh, they're all just jealous. They knew I could beat them
in the end, you see."
"Oh is that so? Justin, why have you voted for Draco?"
"Because I hate him. And because he lost all our points.
And he's dumb. I think that's everything."
"Well, I suppose you can't argue with that. Draco, with
5 votes against you, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"
"Slytherin rules!" Draco shouted as he walked off the
stage and everyone, including some of the Slytherins, booed. Hermione
turned to Ron.
"You know, I think we could beat the rest of them. And then
it just comes down to you and me."
"Sounds fine with me. Get all the other idiots out of the
way first."
"Right then. I'll see you in the final round!"
"Round four everyone! It's time to play the weakest link!"
Anne announced, and the game began.
Susan once again got her question wrong, and Hermione gave Ron
a quick look. He nodded slightly. She was toast.
The round went much more quickly now with the really dismal players
gone, and Ron managed to answer three questions right before the
round was up. So far, neither he nor Hermione had gotten any questions
incorrect. The Griffindors were cheering more loudly than ever.
"My, my. It seems the Griffindor students have gotten their
act together." Anne commented after the fourth round. "An
intelligent bunch, are we? But will that intimidate some of the
other players? We shall see! It's time to vote off the weakest
link!"
Ron voted for Susan. He knew Hermione was doing the same, and
Mandy probably would too, since she was a Ravenclaw. After that,
though, who would be next?
"Voting over, let's see who will be the next to leave."
"Hermione."
"Susan."
"Ron."
"Susan."
"Susan."
"Well my goodness, what have we here?! Could that be .
. .teamwork I see occurring between the Griffindor players?!
Hermione, care to enlighten us?"
Hermione shrugged.
"Susan got a lot of questions wrong. And she voted for me.
That's why I'm voting her off."
"Susan, with three votes, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"
"All right, round five. So far, team, you have bank a total
of 860 points. Let's play the weakest link!"
It was a tough round. Mandy and Justin were both tough players,
but Ron was used to the game by now. He and Hermione banked quickly
and answered correctly each question they got. Ron could tell
that the other two players were nervous, and Mandy slipped up
on the last, and most vital question of the round. Ron cleared
his throat quietly and Hermione nodded. She was as good as gone.
"All right players, in that round you banked 235 points,
which will go on to the next round . . . but one of you will
not. Whose house is changing the password as we speak? One of
you is about to leave with nothing. It's time to vote off the
weakest link."
"Ron."
"Mandy."
"Mandy."
"Mandy."
The votes fell exactly the way Ron knew they would. Suddenly,
Anne was asking him,
"Ron, why have you voted for Mandy?"
"Um - she messed up a question." he replied sheepishly.
"I'm sure you have never made a mistake before, have you,
Ron?" Anne asked smartly. Ron blushed.
"No - well, I mean - yeh - I didn't mean it like that .
. ." he stammered, while Mandy stood their with tears in
her eyes.
"Too bad. With three votes, Mandy, you are the weakest link!
Goodbye!"
The Ravenclaws booed.
"We aren't going to be very popular after this, are we?"
Justin remarked nervously as the game plunged into round 6.
Clearly, Justin was very nervous. He missed the first question
entirely, but did bank the points that Ron and Hermione collected.
The round went by quickly, and Ron's heart began to beat faster.
Only one more vote left. Then it would be just Hermione and himself.
He could feel his confidence starting to wane, but forced himself
not to think about it. The final vote passed quickly.
"Hermione."
"Justin."
"Justin."
"It looks as the the Griffindors have fooled us all and
formed an alliance." purred Anne Robinson. "Hermione,
why have you voted for Justin?"
"This is the final round," Hermione said with confidence,
"and I want to play someone I know I can beat."
"Ooooooo!" went the crowd.
Ron's face turned nearly purple with anger. Hermione kept her
gaze steadily on Anne while Ron shot daggers into the side of
her head with his eyes. Justin saluted them both and walked off
the stage.
The Griffindor side of the room was going crazy now. Ron could
see Fred and George jumping up and down in their seats, and Harry
was looking rather nervous.
"The final round. It seems that Griffindor house is now
guaranteed the points, but who will be the player to win the glory?
Let's play the weakest link!"
Ron swallowed hard. Anne was now explaining the rules.
"The questions will go in pairs. Players will have to answer
their question correctly to stay in the game. The first player
to answer a question wrong loses. The strongest link from the
first round get's to pick who goes first. Since both players answered
all their questions correctly, the strongest link was the player
who banked the most money, and that was you, Hermione."
Ron swallowed again. Hermione was going to get to pick, and he
had a feeling that was a bad sign. He shook his head a little
to force himself to focus and stay calm.
"I'll go first." Hermione said.
"All right then, here is your question. Which modern wizard
was featured on the 50th anniversary collectors card found in
the popular candy Chocolate Frogs?"
Ron watched all the color drain from Hermione's face. She didn't
know it. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing - she was the
one who told him the questions would never be about stupid things
like chocolate frogs. He stood there, watching as she struggled
to come up with an answer.
"Cornelius Gilcottons." she said softly, shaking her
head.
"I'm sorry, the correct answer, believe it or not, was Albus
Dumbledore."
Applause and laughter broke out through the entire room, and
Dumbledore bowed his head with a small smile. Ron was too busy
freaking out to enjoy the moment, however. He knew he had to get
his question right to win.
"Ron, here is your question. If you get this right, you
will be tonight's winner. In chess, which piece is only allowed
to move diagonally across the board?"
A gasp went up from the Griffindor side of the room.
"He knows this!!!" Fred Weasley cried loudly in surprise,
and the rest of the room began to laugh. Ron could barely contain
his smile. This was fate, he knew it was.
"The bishop." he said confidently.
"That is the correct answer. Congratulations, Ron you are
tonight's strongest link and have won your house a grand total
of 1095 points!!"
Ron nearly fell over. The room exploded with cheers, and the
Griffindor students began to rush on to the stage, swarming around
Ron. Fred and George lifted him onto their shoulders.
"Ron, we had no idea you were like Percy! We're going to
have to start teasing you more, you great egghead!"
Harry came rushing up with a smile on his face.
"Ron, that was awesome! You were excellent!"
"Thanks!" Ron stammered, as more and more people thumped
him on the shoulders and shook his hand. Never before in his life
had Ron Weasley been the center of attention. And he liked it,
very much.
