Title: My Thoughts
Rating: PG-13, maybe
Author: Angel~Rinoa
Description: Matt portraying his point-of-view to us, the readers. ^_^
Wish I did, but I don't own Digimon. It belongs to Japan, along with all of their other wonderful creations...
So there I was, standing outside in this rigid cold air while my dad was inside my friend Yolei's convenience store, doing some lame shopping to try and scrub something up for dinner. There was hardly anything around our house anymore. Hey, we were both guys, and we were both guys who had important things to do. Me with my band, for example. And my dad, well, he had work, and... He was also used to having a wife doing what wives do around the house.
Still, after almost seven years of being apart, he still hasn't gotten used to the idea of raising one of his sons alone. And what a job he's doin', huh? I mean, he seems to want to be back with my mother, and they get along great when they're together on lunch dates and stuff. But I guess they still aren't ready to live together again. And that's a bummer on me and my little brother, T.K. But I figure I'll be driving soon since I'm fifteen, and then I can go over and see him whenever I want, so... whatever.
Later, after dinner was eaten and everything, I headed out to the garage where my band met to practice. Our rehearsal went well. We were sounding better every day, and soon we'd land that gig in front of Tokyo Tower. Yeah, it's pretty far away from here, but it'd be a big gig and bring in lots of cash, and help us be known a little better.
It was late when I decided to walk off and head into the playground. But I needed some time to think, and I always found refuge here in this park, where all of the Digi-destineds' "meeting" place was. I guess it always made me feel special knowing I was part of something, something really important. Even my dad looked at me in a new light the day I came home from the Digiworld, back when I was eleven. I thought about that time, and I thought about other things as well- like how everyone was growing up and changing and inheriting the title of being a Digi-destined.
Even now, for some reason, as I sat there on that rock right in the middle of the playground, I realized I still had trouble with change. I don't know why it was always so hard for me, but it's like a whole new revolution for me if I were to change and mature just a bit. For everyone else, well, that's their story, but from my point-of-view, I'll tell it like it is, the way I see it for them...
Me and Tai never really got along when we were younger, but even so, we really cared about each other. I know he cared for me like his best friend, even though we both know Sora's more of his best friend than me. And it seemed he got along great with Izzy, too, but he and I, well, we just have this bond that ties us so that even when we're driving each other nuts, we're still the best of friends- guy friends, anyway. And he's definitely matured a lot these past years. So we get along better than ever and we hang out some, even though he's got soccer and I've got basketball and my band to take care of.
Thinking of him made me think of Sora, and I smiled thinking of her. She was really one of my good friends, too, like a kid sister I never had. I knew Joe felt the same way about her, too, but I'll think of him later. Sora was probably the sweetest and most innocent person I'd ever met. And it was obvious how she was head over heels for Tai, though she claimed she had mutual feelings of friendship for him. And he was too dense, still, to even notice. But I've also noticed how he looks at her sometimes with longing as well. Really, really makes me wonder...
Well, it's obvious that my bro and Tai's sister Kari were falling in love, though that little jerk Davis kept butting in and confusing Kari 'cause she can't make up her mind, even though she has to know that inside, she wants my brother. It looks like she does it on purpose though, to lead him on. She's turned into quite the little tease, I'd have to say, but I know T.K.'s a responsible kid, and even Davis wouldn't do anything to hurt the girl. So they're set with that- who do I have as a love interest?
Sometimes I think of Mimi. At first she was annoying, when we were younger, but even then she kinda grew on ya. And now she was one sexy little hottie. I smiled to myself at such thoughts, but man, when she walked in front of me in that short white skirt and those killer legs... Is that what American girls wore? But that was one problem. She lived all the way in New York. Like a relationship with her would really work out...
The wind blasted by me in one short gasp, causing me to tighten my leather jacket around my neck. But I didn't want to go home yet. I still had more thinking to do.
My thoughts turned to Izzy and Yolei next. They really seemed to get along well. I mean, I know Izzy looks at Mimi sometimes and notices her legs just like I do (-_- ;) and since Mimi and Yolei were so much alike, only Yolei being much more computer-smart, they probably have amazing potential of becoming an item, as soon as Yolei gets a figure like Mimi... Okay I'll lay off Mimi now. Why do my thoughts keep turning back to her?
Anyway, Joe was just weird. He never seemed to have any interest in girls. I haven't seen him yet with a girl... Maybe he was, I don't know, a bit of a fruit? Don't get me wrong, I like the guy and all, And like I said earlier, he thinks of Sora as his kid sister. I don't know, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. He's definitely got some admirers. I mean, girls like guys who're smart and potential docters who'd carry around a lot of cash. The guy's okay, maybe just a little preoccupied with his future. Had to admit, though, I hated him at first... Actually, he seemed to have a thing for Mimi, too. But for him, it was definitely just her looks. In fact, it was problably that way for Izzy, too. 'Cause sometimes I'll catch him looking at Yolei with such admiration, it's like he can't wait for her to develop a little herself.
So that leaves me with- well, nevermind. Nobody I guess. The only other available one is Mimi... Stop it! I can't think of her. We have absolutely nothing in common. Never did. So why do I keep imagining that curvy yet slim figure swaying towards me and those pretty, long arms wrapping themselves around my waist, pulling me in...?
Okay, if I didn't stop soon, I'd end up liking her. Besides , who can tell who she has her eyes on? She flirts with everyone, especially Izzy. She didn't think anyone saw her when she bent over in front of him, most likely to see if she could manage to get him to look away from his laptop for even one second. She succeeded. When her white underwear peeked out a little from her nice, firm backside, I noticed his face flush a bright red, and he quickly buried his face back into his trusty computer, the perfect cover up. And I couldn't help but get a little smile on my face. Then she looked at me, a smile on her face as well. This all took place in the fall, when it was still warm outside, right in front of the school building. Izzy had been sitting on the edge of the water fountain, and Mimi had been talking to Sora. I was walking with Tai, my hands in my pockets as usual, and it happened when Tai ran up to say hi to Sora. It gave Mimi the perfect opportunity. She pretended to drop her pencil.
I had to laugh out loud at the memory. She looked so sweet and innocent, even while doing that. Okay, enough of Mimi. It's actually only making me more depressed, 'cause I know she'll be leaving soon. So I can't be thinking of her at all. That made me feel more lonely and sad. So I did the only thing that sooths my soul... I dug in my pocket until my hand rested on a cold metal object. Slowly, I pulled it out and looked at it as if were some foreign object, and not my only companion for all the times I was lonely and blue. My harmonica.
Okay, I know I told the guys I was giving up my harmonica and concentrating only on the bass guitar so I wouldn't get distracted, but it was like my refuge. I just couldn't totally give it up, like the way Sora couldn't totally give up soccer for tennis. True, she was awesome at tennis, the way she had been at soccer, and she was really into the sport. But there were a few times Tai would manage to convince her to play a little one-on-one, and you could see her eyes light up when she played. Though she loved sports in general, soccer was her one true passion.
Like me with my little, rusty instrument. Expertly, I brought it to my mouth and blew a few notes. It took only a moment to warm up, and soon I was tuning out a mournful but soothing song that suited my mood.
The twilight passed into the dark night and the park lights came on. It was so still, not many people came out when it was in the dead of winter, not to the park anyway. When my depressing, heartfelt song was over, I closed my eyes and hung my head, just breathing the night air that chilled my lungs. And then I heard light applause.
Jerking my head, I was surprised to see Mimi standing in front of me. Her hands went to behind her back in a coy way, and she looked down at the ground shyly, though I knew she wasn't the least bit shy. She spoke to me then.
"It's been a long time since I've heard you play. Not since before the Dark Masters."
"Yeah," I said back to her. "Man, that's been a while..."
"Tell me about it." I slowly observed her quivering figure in the night, knowing she had to be pretty cold in the lightweight fluffy scarf she wore and her black miniskirt. At least she had boots on that reached her thighs. That's when I started staring at her thighs. She was so beautiful, swathed in the florescent park lights, her pink hair in shadows. Man, I must be stupid to not want her. I'd love to just feel her body pressing against mine, her softness fitting into me while I just entwined my arms around her shivering form, desperate to keep her warm...
But she beat me to my thoughts. She stepped up to me and grabbed my face gently with both her hands. I could see her breath coming fast in puffs of steam, and I stared at her lips, purple from the cold. Then and there, I wanted to kiss her and see what warmth we could generate between the two of us. I didn't have to wait long, she granted my wish for me as though reading my thoughts.
Mimi pulled herself to me and pushed her lips onto mine. My eyes closed as her fingers shifted through my long hair that was whipped by the wind. I felt them travel lower while she deeply kissed me, filling herself with me. I started to kiss her back, sensing her hands rubbing my chest under my coat, then my side, and around to my back. They were cold at first, but I felt them warm up quickly, as with her mouth. I tasted more of her sensuous lips, and breathed in her mango essence. Oh, just the sensation of her tongue moving slowly into my mouth to explore, the way I did to her, for I wanted this for so long without even realizing I did.
Right then, I let the night carry me away. I didn't even think about this being only flirtatious banter, or how many guys she'd kissed before in America, or if she'd done the same to Izzy or Joe, or even the fact that she'd move back to America soon. I just wrapped her up in myself and held onto her tightly, not wanting to let her go. And with everything I've thought about this whole night, it felt nice to finally have someone to share a feeling with. We hugged after we were done kissing, and that's when I wouldn't let her go. It seemed as if she didn't wanna let go either, anyway. So I just breathed in her hair that was blowing in my face, not caring if this was the one and only time, and stayed wrapped up in my thoughts.
