AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy tells Angel everything that's in her heart while he sleeps.
SPOILER: Up to The Zeppo
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG~
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. If he ever decides to give them to me, that would be nice. =)
Buffy knelt beside Angel. He was asleep on the floor amist a bunch of candles. Buffy had put them in a circle around him when she'd gotten there. Willow had said it was good luck, and she needed all the good luck she could get.
She touched his hair, his forehead, his eyelids. As she stared at him, she noticed that his eyelids began to flutter, a sure sign that he was dreaming.
She sat back on her heels and wondered what he was dreaming of, if she was in his dreams.
He was certainly in hers. Each and every one.
She took his hand in hers, kissing it up and down. She held it to her chest and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, tears were streaming down her face. When he was knocked out the night before, she was terrified she was going to lose him again. That wasn't a pain she was prepared to handle. She remembered the way her heart wrenched when she'd killed him, the way she ached for him every moment they were apart.
His words kept echoing in her head. She knew he would love her, even in death, the way she had loved him, but it wasn't enough. Lying there next to his unconscious body, she felt her own heart dying along with his. She adored everything about Angel and after having lost him once and getting him back, she felt she couldn't lose him again without dying herself.
When he started breathing again, she collapsed onto his chest, sobbing. They were loud, messy tears, the kind you cry when you need a release.
"Do you know how much I love you?" she whispered. "Really and truly how much I do? I know you hear me say it, and I know you believe me, but do you really understand what you mean to me? Angel, I wanted to die along with you last year. You are my heart and my soul and everything in between."
"Buffy," he said in a loud, high voice.
"I'm here," she told him.
He continued to call her name, and that was when she realized it was a dream.
He called her name a few more times, then he relaxed and smiled. "I love you Buffy."
"I love you too," she told him, leaning down and kissing his lips. After a moment, he began to kiss back.
She pulled away and looked at him. His big eyes were open and he was grinning at her.
"Were you awake the whole time?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, was I?"
She hit his shoulder. "I'm gonna get you!"
He grinned at her. "You promise?"
"I thought we agreed what happened last week would never happen again."
"We agree on a lot of things that we don't keep." he said huskily as he pulled her closer to him.
She rolled one of her legs over his body so that she was sitting up, straddling him. She leaned down and kissed him several times before getting off. She went around, blowing out all the candles.
"My own little extinguisher," he joked.
"Just hold me, okay?"
"Of course."
She laid out next to him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She relaxed her breathing and the next thing she knew, she was asleep. When she woke up, Angel was still next to her, where he belonged. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at her.
"What?"
"Just looking at the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"Don't get corny on me," she warned. "How do you feel? You seem okay now." :
"My head still hurts a little, but I think I'll be fine."
"Your hair's a mess," she observed. "You need a shower."
"Sorry sweetie, this place isn't exactly......equipped."
She checked her watch. "My mom's still at work and I have a large shower in my bathroom." she stood up and reached for his hand. He got on his feet and looked at her. "Why is it I have no restraint when it comes to you?"
She grinned at him. "Maybe it's a spell."
He wrapped his arm around her. "If it's a spell, I don't ever want it broken."
