The Mummy Returns Again -Persistant B*st*rd
Chapter One: Plunged Into Idiocy

Disclaimer: I don't own Rick, Evie, Jonathan, Ardeth, Alex, Imhotep, etc. They belong to Universal Studios. Thoth, Anubis, Khafre, Re, Horus, etc belong to Kemet Inc. Cassie and John belong to my own warped little mind. Enjoy.

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"I spy with my little eye... Something gold."

"Oh just shut up."

John and Cassie Kensington were crossing the mighty Cliche, erm, Sahara Desert. The thirteen-year-old twins were on their way from New York to London so as to visit their grandfather, but the plane had to make a stop a Cairo. "Bloody multi-stop flights," John had remarked, speaking in an English accent because his mother always had.

Now, according to John, they COULD have just waited a few hours for the plane to take off again, but seeing as the seagull crusher or whatever had blown up and they couldn't leave RIGHT AWAY, Cassie had decided that they should stay a few days in Cairo, to learn about "ancient mysteries,". Now WHY they were going to do this John Richard Mathias Kensington did not know, as their grandfather was going to drone on and on about mummies and lost cities and books and spells and bracelets ANYWAY, but alas, his parents had consented, so staying they were.

Cassie had decided that just the two of then should go for a happy little camel ride across the Sahara, where they were now officially lost. Cassie kept on saying things like, "Wow, how amazing!", or "My, that's gorgeous!", but all poor John saw in it was three colors: Gold, yellow, white. Yippee.

As a matter of fact, they were NOT lost; Cassie had chosen to observe the Great Pyramids Of Giza and The Sphinx, which were pretty hard to miss. She absolutely LOVED Ancient Egypt, or Kemet, meaning "Land Of The Black Sands," as she and the ancient Egyptians liked to call it, and especially the work of the famous Kemet architect, Imhotep.

"Hey, isn't that that damned rotting fellow Grandpa Alex is always ranting about?" John had asked as he raised an eyebrow.

Cassie had rolled her eyes. "John, SOME people share names," she'd explained gently, "and are COMPLETELY different. For example, you and John Lennon."

That had earned her a sound whack in the face with a pillow.

Suddenly, Cassie just stopped her camel. She sighed happily, her emerald eyes glowing behind her sand-flecked glasses. John simply rolled his own.

"Why the devil are you stopping?!"

"That's why, idjut." Cassie pointed directly in front of them, where the Great Pyramid of Giza stood approximately three inches away.

"Oh."

Cassie beamed. "This is where King Kafre is buried, just like Grandpa said!"

John sighed, disappointed that there was nothing to purloin (the child was nearly a kleptomaniac). "They chopped him up into three pieces just to bury him?" John inquired, indicating the two smaller pyramids nearby. His sister growled while her camel lowed.

"No, stupid, that's where he buried his wives."

"WiveS? PLURAL!?" John's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yes, John," Cassie growled, losing patience with her 14-minute older brother. She'd decided that while they were in the womb together, the brains HE was supposed to get went to her. Or maybe jst vanished altogether.

John rapped the pyramid with his knuckles, the yelped and drew his hand back. Stuffing it in his mouth, he began to scold King Kafre. "Frut fa froo-friming, hold cfooth-"

"JOHN!!!" Cassie shrieked.

"WHAT?!" John shrieked back, pulling his hand out of his mouth. Dangummit, he was five feet aw- Oh.

The sand was caving in, almost like an ant lion's pit. John and Cassie struggled to hold on to each other as their camels bolted, but plunged together down into the abyss.

"I TOLD you we should've just waited another bloody few hours for the next plane...." John complained while plunging through inky blackness.

"Shut up."




(Author's Note: If you were wondering, yes, the O'Connells will be in Chapter Two.)