:( Well, this is it. The end of the survival contest. I got the last part up finally! I graduated, my grandparents came over, and all this other stuff kept me away from working on this fic. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Disclaimer Thingy: Let's see...I don't own FedEx, Dell, UPS, or Gundam Wing.
The GW Survival Contest
Part Ten: May I have the envelope, please?
:::On tiny Bear Island, the GW cast and I are waiting patiently for the votes to come in. Quatre and Trowa are playing a friendly game of tic-tac-toe in the sand; Duo, Relena, and Hilde are teaching themselves how to do the hula; and Wufei is calmly meditating. The rest are either chatting or plotting my demise.:::
Dfire: *checks her watch* Any minute now...
Zechs: That's what you said half an hour ago.
Dfire: Well, you can't rush the postal service. UPS ain't speed mail ya know.
Heero: When do we get our stuff back?
Dfire: After the UPS man gets here. He has all of you guys' stuff: Trowa's Super X-tra Strength Hairspray, a crapload of guns, Cathy's knives, Heero's laptop, Wufei's katana..
Wufei: *opens one eye still in meditation pose* You stupid woman! You left my precious katana in the hands of such evil?
Dfire: What the heck are you talking about?
Wufei: FedEx is the service of justice, not UPS.
Hilde: Don't you know what UPS stands for? U piece of sh--
Dfire: Oh, you two shut up! Keep on with your meditating and hula dancing! This is the last part of my fic and I don't need any bashing of postal services and cussing right now. I need to keep that G rating, plus I don't want men dressed in brown uniforms to come after me.
:::Wufei and Hilde return to what they were doing and I went to wait by a palm tree. Finally, ten minutes later, a brown plane flies above the island:::
Dfire: There it is! The UPS plane!
Une: I didn't even know there was such a thing.
Dfire: They're a little late but that's okay. I also had them bring some extra clothes for all of you.
Duo: Thanks, girl. I'm getting tired of wearing this grass skirt. It makes me itch.
Treize: *peering up at the plane* Are they going to land here?
Noin: Yeah, how are they going to bring everything down here? Are they going to have someone jump down here in a parachute?
Dfire: Err, they said that landing the plane on a tropical/forest island would be difficult so they're planning on sending the cargo down here from the plane.
Trowa: You mean they're just going to dump our stuff from up there?!!
Dfire: Don't panic you guys, I paid good money. They should handle your stuff with care...as if it were glass.
:::As if on cue, a large bundle is thrown off the plane and tumbles down toward us. The plane flies away:::
Quatre: Eeek! It's heading straight for us!
Zechs: Everybody move back!
:::A big box and bag tied onto it land harshly on the sandy beach. From inside, we could easily hear something shatter.:::
Sally: As if it were glass, eh Dfire?
Dfire: Oops...uh...I'm sure they're fine. *nervous laugh* I'm sure nothing broke.
Duo: Geez, that didn't sound good when it landed. What was that?
Trowa: It sounded like a laptop.
Heero: WHAT?!
:::Everyone races to the luggage and digs through the box pulling out stuff. Heero pulls out a big chunk of smashed glass and plastics:::
Duo: Oh man, Heero. That's your laptop.
Cathy: Or at least what's left of it.
Heero: That was my new Dell you *#$@%!!
Relena: *searching through the box* Well, I don't think anything else is broken.
Wufei: Aaaahhh!!!
Relena: Guess not.
Wufei: My katana!!! It's been broken in two!!
Dfire: It's okay Wufei, it's not so bad. Now you got two katanas.
Wufei *face turning red with anger* Prepare to die, ONNA!!
Dfire: AAAAAHHHHHH!! *I duck as the Chinese boy lunges at me with his broken sword. Then he does a kung fu Mortal Kombat move on me, but I barely escape* Wait!! Wait!! If you kill me we'll never know who won--and no one will get prize money!
Sally: Calm down, Wufei. Let's let her finish her job. The sooner she's done, the sooner we can go home.
Wufei: Okay. But you die as soon as you're done.
Dfire: *nervously pulls out an envelope from the bag* Alright. Here are the results. Drumroll please...
::::Drums rumble from an unknown source:::
Dfire: We got one vote for the guys, one vote for...Lady Une?!
Une: A wise person indeed.
Dfire: Three votes for: nobody wins.
G-boys and g-gals: O.o
Wufei: The injustice!!
Dfire: And the winner of my GW Survival Contest....O.O Both teams!!
G-boys and g-gals: Yaaahhhoooooo!!!
Sally: Wait?!
Wufei: Injustice!! The nerve of these people. How did we both win? It was clear that us men won.
Sally: *raises eyebrow* Men?
Hilde: I thought we beat you.
Wufei: We went through a lot more and still survived. We had to wear these stupid grasskirts.
Hilde: We had to eat squirrel-kabobs! A freakin' tree rodent on a stick!
Wufei: We had to listen to Yuy's stupid ghost stories and Winner's wimperings of abuse to animals.
Dfire: Listen! Both of you guys suff--er, I mean, went through a lot on this trip. I think it's fair that both teams win.
Relena: So do I. Now that we know we all won lets get out of here.
Duo: Not without my money.
Dorothy: Well, I hope your satisfied, Dfire. We suffered for your dear fanfic readers' pleasure.
Dfire: *looking innocent* Suffered?
Cathy: Do you have any idea what we've been through?
Dfire: Actually, yes I do.
Heero: We were attacked by a skunk, we had to dress like fags, we were chased by a mad pirateboy, we were bombarded by coconuts.
Relena: My hair was set on fire and Dorothy went crazy.
Dfire: I know exactly what happened to you. I saw the whole thing. On this island, I put about fifty different hidden cameras before you arrived.
OZ, G-boys and g-girls: Gaaahhh!!
Dorothy: You mean you had us on camera the whole time!??!!
Zechs: And with my hair looking like this?
Dfire: Yes. ^__^ *whips out a VHS cassette* And I have it all on tape for everyone to enjoy.
Quatre: You---you evil thing!
Wufei: She's crazy.
Cathy: She's mad!
Marameia: She's good. I need to learn from her.
Duo: Injustice!!
Wufei: That's my line, Maxwell.
Duo: Sorry, Wu-man.
Wufei: -__-
Dfire: Yup. From the time you were paddling your way to the island and up until my arrival today, I've been taping you guys 24/7. I think this will get me some fame in the next anime convention.
:::Heero quickly grabs the tape from my hands, throws it into the air, and with his reunited gun shoots it into a million pieces:::
Sally: Good Heero, destroy the evidence.
Dfire: That's okay. I've got two thousand copies back at my house.
Heero: *points his gun at me* I will kill you now.
Dfire: *floodcrying* Please don't kill me! I just graduated a few days ago. If you kill me I'll never get to go to college, I'll never have a job, I'll never get married!
Heero: You should have thought of that before you smashed my computer and made my life miserable...say goodbye.
Relena: Wait!!
Heero: Da*% it, Relena! Don't interrupt me this time.
Relena: But we need her to get us off this island.
Wufei: And she still hasn't given us our money yet.
Heero: Fine. But hurry up.
Dfire: *pulls out a giant check from fanfic space bigger than the ones people win in sweepstakes* That'll be 2,500 for each of you.
Hilde: *stares at the check I gave her* What?! Only 2,500!?
Dfire: That's what I said. *grunting as I pull out another jumbo-sized check* If you don't want it, I'll have it.
Cathy: *awkwardly carrying her giant check* Did you know that there was treasure on this island?
Dfire: Nope, I didn't. Did you guys find it?
Treize: No, but we all tried to.
Une: And we would have had it if someone else hadn't got to it first.
Trowa: *watches as I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out his giant check* Where are those coming from?
Quatre: Um, Dfire?
Dfire: Yes, Quatre?
Quatre: How do we get back home?
Dfire: I don't see the boat that I hired someone to bring, so I guess you'll just have to figure it out.
Wufei: How are you getting back?
Dfire: My jet ski of course.
Wufei: And where is your jet ski? I don't see one.
Dfire: It's right here with me of course. *poof!* There it is. Ain't she a beaut?
Noin: Did she just make that jet ski just poof out of nowhere?
Relena: You'll get used to it.
Dfire: *starts to leave but turns back* Oh, I almost forgot!
GW Peeps: WHAT!?!?!
Dfire: Before you go, I have one more thing that you have to do for me and all the readers out there.
Sally: And what is that? -__-
Dfire: The winners are supposed to do a special performance for us. Did I forget to mention that?
Duo: Yes, you did. And I'm not doing it.
Dorothy: Neither will I.
Dfire: You have to.
Duo: Why?
Dfire: Because...um...
Duo: Because...?
Dfire: Because if you guys don't then I'll make a sequel to this fic.
Everyone: What do we have to do?
Dfire: *grinning menacingly, and pulls out a fur miniskirt* Which one of you is a size six?
**************************A little later*********
:::A shot of the beautiful tropical island and all it's glory. Then the camera zooms in on the gundam boys and girls, all dressed in skimpy fur outfits.:::
Wufei: Of all the evil injustice you've bestowed upon us, this has got to be the worst! I'm dressed like a woman!
Quatre: Does this skirt make me look fat?
Dfire: You guys are supposed to be singing. Now sing and look sexy for the audience!
*Quatre and Sally pose in front of the waterfall with their skimpy fur outfits, Sally lets the water drip down her when Quatre slips on a rock and knocks her down*
I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up,
*Wufei, Dorothy, and Trowa raise their voices high in chorus their shrill voices almost breaking my eardrums*
I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder.
:::Just imagine the Gundam peeps in Destiny's Child Survivor video and you get the idea:::
Dfire: STOP!! EVERYONE STOP!!!
Hilde: But we were just getting to the good part.
Dfire: Uh, no. I've decided that just a part of the song is good enough for the finale of the fic.
Duo: I didn't know Wufei's voice could get so high.
Quatre: I didn't know I looked so good in leopard print.
Sally: Still we have a problem. How do we got off this island?
Dfire: Well, you guys can use your checks to float on and paddle your way back.
Heero: *rips off tanktop and points gun at me* I'm not doing that again. You're finished.
Cathy: Let's get her! *pulls out her knives*
Dfire: O.O uh oh... *frantically runs away from the shower of knives with the gundam people running after her*
----------------------------------------------
Dfire: Well that wraps it up. Thank you to all those who reviewed and voted. I hope all of you enjoyed this fic. It was a crazy yet fun trip while it lasted, but I'm sure the Gundam Wing people are happy it's over. I bid you adieu. *bows*
Dfire: You're probably still wondering what happened to Pinkbeard's treasure. I guess no one will ever know.
*turns and walks away, as two sixteenth-century gold coins and a diamond necklace fall from her pants*
Disclaimer Thingy: Let's see...I don't own FedEx, Dell, UPS, or Gundam Wing.
The GW Survival Contest
Part Ten: May I have the envelope, please?
:::On tiny Bear Island, the GW cast and I are waiting patiently for the votes to come in. Quatre and Trowa are playing a friendly game of tic-tac-toe in the sand; Duo, Relena, and Hilde are teaching themselves how to do the hula; and Wufei is calmly meditating. The rest are either chatting or plotting my demise.:::
Dfire: *checks her watch* Any minute now...
Zechs: That's what you said half an hour ago.
Dfire: Well, you can't rush the postal service. UPS ain't speed mail ya know.
Heero: When do we get our stuff back?
Dfire: After the UPS man gets here. He has all of you guys' stuff: Trowa's Super X-tra Strength Hairspray, a crapload of guns, Cathy's knives, Heero's laptop, Wufei's katana..
Wufei: *opens one eye still in meditation pose* You stupid woman! You left my precious katana in the hands of such evil?
Dfire: What the heck are you talking about?
Wufei: FedEx is the service of justice, not UPS.
Hilde: Don't you know what UPS stands for? U piece of sh--
Dfire: Oh, you two shut up! Keep on with your meditating and hula dancing! This is the last part of my fic and I don't need any bashing of postal services and cussing right now. I need to keep that G rating, plus I don't want men dressed in brown uniforms to come after me.
:::Wufei and Hilde return to what they were doing and I went to wait by a palm tree. Finally, ten minutes later, a brown plane flies above the island:::
Dfire: There it is! The UPS plane!
Une: I didn't even know there was such a thing.
Dfire: They're a little late but that's okay. I also had them bring some extra clothes for all of you.
Duo: Thanks, girl. I'm getting tired of wearing this grass skirt. It makes me itch.
Treize: *peering up at the plane* Are they going to land here?
Noin: Yeah, how are they going to bring everything down here? Are they going to have someone jump down here in a parachute?
Dfire: Err, they said that landing the plane on a tropical/forest island would be difficult so they're planning on sending the cargo down here from the plane.
Trowa: You mean they're just going to dump our stuff from up there?!!
Dfire: Don't panic you guys, I paid good money. They should handle your stuff with care...as if it were glass.
:::As if on cue, a large bundle is thrown off the plane and tumbles down toward us. The plane flies away:::
Quatre: Eeek! It's heading straight for us!
Zechs: Everybody move back!
:::A big box and bag tied onto it land harshly on the sandy beach. From inside, we could easily hear something shatter.:::
Sally: As if it were glass, eh Dfire?
Dfire: Oops...uh...I'm sure they're fine. *nervous laugh* I'm sure nothing broke.
Duo: Geez, that didn't sound good when it landed. What was that?
Trowa: It sounded like a laptop.
Heero: WHAT?!
:::Everyone races to the luggage and digs through the box pulling out stuff. Heero pulls out a big chunk of smashed glass and plastics:::
Duo: Oh man, Heero. That's your laptop.
Cathy: Or at least what's left of it.
Heero: That was my new Dell you *#$@%!!
Relena: *searching through the box* Well, I don't think anything else is broken.
Wufei: Aaaahhh!!!
Relena: Guess not.
Wufei: My katana!!! It's been broken in two!!
Dfire: It's okay Wufei, it's not so bad. Now you got two katanas.
Wufei *face turning red with anger* Prepare to die, ONNA!!
Dfire: AAAAAHHHHHH!! *I duck as the Chinese boy lunges at me with his broken sword. Then he does a kung fu Mortal Kombat move on me, but I barely escape* Wait!! Wait!! If you kill me we'll never know who won--and no one will get prize money!
Sally: Calm down, Wufei. Let's let her finish her job. The sooner she's done, the sooner we can go home.
Wufei: Okay. But you die as soon as you're done.
Dfire: *nervously pulls out an envelope from the bag* Alright. Here are the results. Drumroll please...
::::Drums rumble from an unknown source:::
Dfire: We got one vote for the guys, one vote for...Lady Une?!
Une: A wise person indeed.
Dfire: Three votes for: nobody wins.
G-boys and g-gals: O.o
Wufei: The injustice!!
Dfire: And the winner of my GW Survival Contest....O.O Both teams!!
G-boys and g-gals: Yaaahhhoooooo!!!
Sally: Wait?!
Wufei: Injustice!! The nerve of these people. How did we both win? It was clear that us men won.
Sally: *raises eyebrow* Men?
Hilde: I thought we beat you.
Wufei: We went through a lot more and still survived. We had to wear these stupid grasskirts.
Hilde: We had to eat squirrel-kabobs! A freakin' tree rodent on a stick!
Wufei: We had to listen to Yuy's stupid ghost stories and Winner's wimperings of abuse to animals.
Dfire: Listen! Both of you guys suff--er, I mean, went through a lot on this trip. I think it's fair that both teams win.
Relena: So do I. Now that we know we all won lets get out of here.
Duo: Not without my money.
Dorothy: Well, I hope your satisfied, Dfire. We suffered for your dear fanfic readers' pleasure.
Dfire: *looking innocent* Suffered?
Cathy: Do you have any idea what we've been through?
Dfire: Actually, yes I do.
Heero: We were attacked by a skunk, we had to dress like fags, we were chased by a mad pirateboy, we were bombarded by coconuts.
Relena: My hair was set on fire and Dorothy went crazy.
Dfire: I know exactly what happened to you. I saw the whole thing. On this island, I put about fifty different hidden cameras before you arrived.
OZ, G-boys and g-girls: Gaaahhh!!
Dorothy: You mean you had us on camera the whole time!??!!
Zechs: And with my hair looking like this?
Dfire: Yes. ^__^ *whips out a VHS cassette* And I have it all on tape for everyone to enjoy.
Quatre: You---you evil thing!
Wufei: She's crazy.
Cathy: She's mad!
Marameia: She's good. I need to learn from her.
Duo: Injustice!!
Wufei: That's my line, Maxwell.
Duo: Sorry, Wu-man.
Wufei: -__-
Dfire: Yup. From the time you were paddling your way to the island and up until my arrival today, I've been taping you guys 24/7. I think this will get me some fame in the next anime convention.
:::Heero quickly grabs the tape from my hands, throws it into the air, and with his reunited gun shoots it into a million pieces:::
Sally: Good Heero, destroy the evidence.
Dfire: That's okay. I've got two thousand copies back at my house.
Heero: *points his gun at me* I will kill you now.
Dfire: *floodcrying* Please don't kill me! I just graduated a few days ago. If you kill me I'll never get to go to college, I'll never have a job, I'll never get married!
Heero: You should have thought of that before you smashed my computer and made my life miserable...say goodbye.
Relena: Wait!!
Heero: Da*% it, Relena! Don't interrupt me this time.
Relena: But we need her to get us off this island.
Wufei: And she still hasn't given us our money yet.
Heero: Fine. But hurry up.
Dfire: *pulls out a giant check from fanfic space bigger than the ones people win in sweepstakes* That'll be 2,500 for each of you.
Hilde: *stares at the check I gave her* What?! Only 2,500!?
Dfire: That's what I said. *grunting as I pull out another jumbo-sized check* If you don't want it, I'll have it.
Cathy: *awkwardly carrying her giant check* Did you know that there was treasure on this island?
Dfire: Nope, I didn't. Did you guys find it?
Treize: No, but we all tried to.
Une: And we would have had it if someone else hadn't got to it first.
Trowa: *watches as I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out his giant check* Where are those coming from?
Quatre: Um, Dfire?
Dfire: Yes, Quatre?
Quatre: How do we get back home?
Dfire: I don't see the boat that I hired someone to bring, so I guess you'll just have to figure it out.
Wufei: How are you getting back?
Dfire: My jet ski of course.
Wufei: And where is your jet ski? I don't see one.
Dfire: It's right here with me of course. *poof!* There it is. Ain't she a beaut?
Noin: Did she just make that jet ski just poof out of nowhere?
Relena: You'll get used to it.
Dfire: *starts to leave but turns back* Oh, I almost forgot!
GW Peeps: WHAT!?!?!
Dfire: Before you go, I have one more thing that you have to do for me and all the readers out there.
Sally: And what is that? -__-
Dfire: The winners are supposed to do a special performance for us. Did I forget to mention that?
Duo: Yes, you did. And I'm not doing it.
Dorothy: Neither will I.
Dfire: You have to.
Duo: Why?
Dfire: Because...um...
Duo: Because...?
Dfire: Because if you guys don't then I'll make a sequel to this fic.
Everyone: What do we have to do?
Dfire: *grinning menacingly, and pulls out a fur miniskirt* Which one of you is a size six?
**************************A little later*********
:::A shot of the beautiful tropical island and all it's glory. Then the camera zooms in on the gundam boys and girls, all dressed in skimpy fur outfits.:::
Wufei: Of all the evil injustice you've bestowed upon us, this has got to be the worst! I'm dressed like a woman!
Quatre: Does this skirt make me look fat?
Dfire: You guys are supposed to be singing. Now sing and look sexy for the audience!
*Quatre and Sally pose in front of the waterfall with their skimpy fur outfits, Sally lets the water drip down her when Quatre slips on a rock and knocks her down*
I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up,
*Wufei, Dorothy, and Trowa raise their voices high in chorus their shrill voices almost breaking my eardrums*
I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder.
:::Just imagine the Gundam peeps in Destiny's Child Survivor video and you get the idea:::
Dfire: STOP!! EVERYONE STOP!!!
Hilde: But we were just getting to the good part.
Dfire: Uh, no. I've decided that just a part of the song is good enough for the finale of the fic.
Duo: I didn't know Wufei's voice could get so high.
Quatre: I didn't know I looked so good in leopard print.
Sally: Still we have a problem. How do we got off this island?
Dfire: Well, you guys can use your checks to float on and paddle your way back.
Heero: *rips off tanktop and points gun at me* I'm not doing that again. You're finished.
Cathy: Let's get her! *pulls out her knives*
Dfire: O.O uh oh... *frantically runs away from the shower of knives with the gundam people running after her*
----------------------------------------------
Dfire: Well that wraps it up. Thank you to all those who reviewed and voted. I hope all of you enjoyed this fic. It was a crazy yet fun trip while it lasted, but I'm sure the Gundam Wing people are happy it's over. I bid you adieu. *bows*
Dfire: You're probably still wondering what happened to Pinkbeard's treasure. I guess no one will ever know.
*turns and walks away, as two sixteenth-century gold coins and a diamond necklace fall from her pants*
