THE COW CONSPIRACY
Part III - The Visitor
Link was at home, watching the news broadcast.
"We have reports from Lon Lon Ranch that all of the cows there are dead. This may or may not have something to do
with Dustin Hoffman and her fellow revolutionaires. Our reporter is now with us on a live interview with Dustin herself."
We now see a man sitting next to Rosie in a chair.
"Tell me, Dustin, what will happen now that you finally killed those cows who had been harassing you?"
"I didn't kill those cows."
"Oh come on, that's ridiculous. Everybody knows it was you."
"Oh really? Where's your proof, mr Big Shot?"
"You may have a point, but..."
"But? Mr Garfield, why would I kill these cows just after telling the world that I hate them and want to see them dead?
I'm not stupid."
"Regardless of how much proof we have, people will still hate you."
"Oh really?"
"By the way, there's no smoking in this castle."
"What are you gonna do, charge me for smoking?"
"You may have a point."
Dustin uncrossed her legs to reveal that she was wearing no underwear.
"Miss Hoffman... uh... why are you lying?"
"I'm not lying. Do you want me to take a lie detector test?"
"Yes, please."
"Good. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"
When they completed the test, it turned out that Rosie not only killed Wendy, Cara and the other cows at the ranch,
but also killed John F Kennedy. And, as if it wasn't enough, she was also the reason why Titanic sank and why
Backstreet Boys got into music. She also caused World War II and all the other major wars in history.
"Well, Dustin, I guess you're not that innocent after all."
"Yeah, well... You won't catch me anyway."
She ran away from the studio.
BACK AT HYRULE CASTLE
Zelda was waking up.
"Boy, that sure was a long nap... Wait a minute, what are these cows doing here?"
"Don't you remember? We kidnapped you. That makes you our hostage."
"I'm the mighty Zelda. No one holds me hostage."
"Watch me!"
"Trust me, you won't get out of this alive."
"Shut up!" Rosie said and knocked Zelda unconscious one more time.
Rosie sat down on her throne to relax a little, but she was disturbed by Suzy.
"Rosie, can I speak to you for a minute?"
"What is it? Be quick about it, because I wish to relax."
"Me, Wanda and Mary Ann think we should free Zelda and leave the castle now that you got your revenge. What do
you think?"
"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm satisfied with this? I deserve to be the Queen of Hyrule, it's my turn to be
famous. So my answer is no, Zelda remains our hostage."
"But we promised that something might happen when you finally got revenge. Are you gonna break that promise?"
"All I said was that something *MIGHT* happen, not that something *WOULD* happen."
"This has gone too far, Rosie. We quit."
"Fine, quit. I don't care. I can rule this world all by myself."
"We'll see about that. Goodbye."
"Yeah, bye. And don't come back either."
Suzy closed the door and left. Rosie said to herself: "What an idiot", then she started reading the newspaper. Just
a couple of seconds later, she jumped out of her throne and ran for a knife.
"I can't let them escape", she said to herself. "They'll leak important information to the citizens. I must stop them
before it's too late."
She rushed out of the Royal Chamber and came up from behind of Suzy, who was on her way to inform Wanda and
Mary Ann about Rosie's insanity. Suzy never saw the knife stabbing her in the back one, two and three times. . A door
opened and Mary Ann stepped out.
"Oh my God", she yelled. "What have you done to Suzy?"
"I killed her. She's a quitter and I hate quitters. Soon you and your friend will join her in hell. Come here."
"No..."
"I must do this. I'm sorry."
Mary Ann tried to escape, but there was no point in running as Rosie threw the knife in her back. Mary Ann fell down.
She rolled over in pain and laid there for about five or six seconds, then everything turned black.
Rosie kept searching for Wanda.
"Wanda! Where are you? Wherever you are, I'll find you, you old... cow!"
Rosie went around a corner when she felt something hard hitting her from behind. A chair. She turned around just
to see Wanda run away. She pulled the knife out of Mary Ann's body and started chasing her ex-friend. But Wanda
managed to knock Rosie unconscious as she threw a rock at her head.
Wanda felt relieved that she made it. She was now heading for the door outside to tell everyone about what Rosie
had done. Suddenly someone knocked on the very same door. Wanda opened and, before she had the time to say
'carrot juice', a huge sword was stuck into her throat and she died immediately.
The man who carried the sword was tall and all dressed in black. His face was concealed and you couldn't see
any skin at all. The man went past Wanda and as he proceeded into the castle, he saw Mary Ann's body. He
ignored it and continued walking as if nothing had happened. Suddenly he saw a cow on the floor who wasn't as
covered with blood as the earlier bodies. He checked her pulse and he saw that she was still alive. Suddenly the
cow opened her eyes and saw the big man looking down at her.
"Step up", he said in a very dark voice. "What's your name?"
"My name is Rosie, uh... Rosie the Cow. What are you doing in my castle?"
"Is this castle your castle?"
"You heard me."
"Things have changed since the last time I was here."
"Last time... you were here? Who are you?"
The man removed the clothing that covered his face. Rosie was terrified when she saw who the man was.
"G... Ganondorf?"
Part III - The Visitor
Link was at home, watching the news broadcast.
"We have reports from Lon Lon Ranch that all of the cows there are dead. This may or may not have something to do
with Dustin Hoffman and her fellow revolutionaires. Our reporter is now with us on a live interview with Dustin herself."
We now see a man sitting next to Rosie in a chair.
"Tell me, Dustin, what will happen now that you finally killed those cows who had been harassing you?"
"I didn't kill those cows."
"Oh come on, that's ridiculous. Everybody knows it was you."
"Oh really? Where's your proof, mr Big Shot?"
"You may have a point, but..."
"But? Mr Garfield, why would I kill these cows just after telling the world that I hate them and want to see them dead?
I'm not stupid."
"Regardless of how much proof we have, people will still hate you."
"Oh really?"
"By the way, there's no smoking in this castle."
"What are you gonna do, charge me for smoking?"
"You may have a point."
Dustin uncrossed her legs to reveal that she was wearing no underwear.
"Miss Hoffman... uh... why are you lying?"
"I'm not lying. Do you want me to take a lie detector test?"
"Yes, please."
"Good. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"
When they completed the test, it turned out that Rosie not only killed Wendy, Cara and the other cows at the ranch,
but also killed John F Kennedy. And, as if it wasn't enough, she was also the reason why Titanic sank and why
Backstreet Boys got into music. She also caused World War II and all the other major wars in history.
"Well, Dustin, I guess you're not that innocent after all."
"Yeah, well... You won't catch me anyway."
She ran away from the studio.
BACK AT HYRULE CASTLE
Zelda was waking up.
"Boy, that sure was a long nap... Wait a minute, what are these cows doing here?"
"Don't you remember? We kidnapped you. That makes you our hostage."
"I'm the mighty Zelda. No one holds me hostage."
"Watch me!"
"Trust me, you won't get out of this alive."
"Shut up!" Rosie said and knocked Zelda unconscious one more time.
Rosie sat down on her throne to relax a little, but she was disturbed by Suzy.
"Rosie, can I speak to you for a minute?"
"What is it? Be quick about it, because I wish to relax."
"Me, Wanda and Mary Ann think we should free Zelda and leave the castle now that you got your revenge. What do
you think?"
"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm satisfied with this? I deserve to be the Queen of Hyrule, it's my turn to be
famous. So my answer is no, Zelda remains our hostage."
"But we promised that something might happen when you finally got revenge. Are you gonna break that promise?"
"All I said was that something *MIGHT* happen, not that something *WOULD* happen."
"This has gone too far, Rosie. We quit."
"Fine, quit. I don't care. I can rule this world all by myself."
"We'll see about that. Goodbye."
"Yeah, bye. And don't come back either."
Suzy closed the door and left. Rosie said to herself: "What an idiot", then she started reading the newspaper. Just
a couple of seconds later, she jumped out of her throne and ran for a knife.
"I can't let them escape", she said to herself. "They'll leak important information to the citizens. I must stop them
before it's too late."
She rushed out of the Royal Chamber and came up from behind of Suzy, who was on her way to inform Wanda and
Mary Ann about Rosie's insanity. Suzy never saw the knife stabbing her in the back one, two and three times. . A door
opened and Mary Ann stepped out.
"Oh my God", she yelled. "What have you done to Suzy?"
"I killed her. She's a quitter and I hate quitters. Soon you and your friend will join her in hell. Come here."
"No..."
"I must do this. I'm sorry."
Mary Ann tried to escape, but there was no point in running as Rosie threw the knife in her back. Mary Ann fell down.
She rolled over in pain and laid there for about five or six seconds, then everything turned black.
Rosie kept searching for Wanda.
"Wanda! Where are you? Wherever you are, I'll find you, you old... cow!"
Rosie went around a corner when she felt something hard hitting her from behind. A chair. She turned around just
to see Wanda run away. She pulled the knife out of Mary Ann's body and started chasing her ex-friend. But Wanda
managed to knock Rosie unconscious as she threw a rock at her head.
Wanda felt relieved that she made it. She was now heading for the door outside to tell everyone about what Rosie
had done. Suddenly someone knocked on the very same door. Wanda opened and, before she had the time to say
'carrot juice', a huge sword was stuck into her throat and she died immediately.
The man who carried the sword was tall and all dressed in black. His face was concealed and you couldn't see
any skin at all. The man went past Wanda and as he proceeded into the castle, he saw Mary Ann's body. He
ignored it and continued walking as if nothing had happened. Suddenly he saw a cow on the floor who wasn't as
covered with blood as the earlier bodies. He checked her pulse and he saw that she was still alive. Suddenly the
cow opened her eyes and saw the big man looking down at her.
"Step up", he said in a very dark voice. "What's your name?"
"My name is Rosie, uh... Rosie the Cow. What are you doing in my castle?"
"Is this castle your castle?"
"You heard me."
"Things have changed since the last time I was here."
"Last time... you were here? Who are you?"
The man removed the clothing that covered his face. Rosie was terrified when she saw who the man was.
"G... Ganondorf?"
